xmxrgxncy

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

fire doesn't always burn out.
once it's there, it is always there.
it may not still be roaring, but embers have a way of incinerating you, just at a slower pace.
that's why i always keep a canister of gasoline handy-
you never know when you need to douse yourself to feel alive.

#mrm

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

level up

it doesn't hurt to lose skin against skin sensations?
maybe i'm extraordinary, but
aching hurts
and i ache constantly

#mrm

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

iced over

that temptation for me didn't come in the form of drugs or alcohol but the intoxication of others
i admit i found solace in their lips and their hips and everything inbetween
but is it wrong to want lust when love has ****** you?

sometimes i leave my icebox open on accident and
it makes my house absolutely freezing
how come we have to pay
to turn down the heat

#mrm

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

tarnished wings

but the rust still remains.
between your fingers, in your hair, cracking across your lips and the birds you admire from your broken window.
did you ever stop to think that it made you appreciate being clean?
it's not as beautiful as silver, not as strong as titanium, not as effervescent as chrome.
it covers you head to toe and still you insist that you've moved on.
i see your true colors, and right now they're all varying shades of red.
what happened to you, what did you lose?
and what did you think i turned to?
drugs and ******* money, i can hear the birds sing
maybe it's deliberate if it's lacking substance
somehow that's not where i ended up but the birds are still tarnished and that honestly just makes me thankful for the temptations that gave me more than the color red
did you scrub yourself raw trying to burn the memories away?
can you still hear the birds?

lyrics from drugs and money by chase atlantic because i'm honestly in love with them at the moment

#mrm

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

black coffee and titanium spoons

if you visited my mind you'd find a lot of broken teacups,
glistening with the remnants of silver that pushed its way up my throat when i realized that i was alone again.
and if you wanted to look closer- watch your step, more shards- you might even find a glint of titanium somewhere. it started slowly, a taste for black without the need for sugar and cream, and grew.
it was so effortless once i let go of my wishes to continue to stay a purist, as my tastes grew from sharp and metallic to true and tough, because- a little to your left, careful- let's be honest, silver is beautiful but a facade.
and i can't help but wonder how things would have panned out if- let me move that for you, hold on- we had started out with black instead of sugary pretenses and swirling wishes to be bigger than we were.
because nothing is more tough than a black coffee. and when i lace mine with titanium, i realize that we could have been stronger.

what are you drinking now?

#mrm

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

covid

and i thought they were safe from you
that him being a smoker and her being immunocompromised
were nothing but the way of the world, untouched
by your reach and unperturbed by your body count

your lust for my family has reached its peak
and you've found them all at once
and i'm too far away to shield them from you
or to take the hits with my own body

who are you to choose the weak when it
would be more impressive for you to prey on the strong?

if i can ever peel myself off the ground,
i'm coming for you.

my whole family has covid, both parents have pre existing health issues that make them more susceptible to dying, and i'm stuck states away listening to them cough on the phone.

xmxrgxncy Jul 2020

wet shoes and uncaught dreams

and the wandering continues through abandoned boathouses where we hung up our words at night
soaked to the bone in emotion and despair yet clinging to the hope that tomorrow would bring smoother tides
how could we have known that silver only lasts for so long before it tarnished, and inspiration is nothing if not fleeting?
the wood of the docks is decaying now, along with dreams had in years past that got tangled up in our lines before we ceased trying to cast them anywhere anymore.
but I still watch the sunset every night and wonder what would’ve happened if we had gotten into our boats and never looked back.

#mrm