I cannot recall the past six months. Enveloped by a sea of anger, each wave has washed away my memory. Though I am no longer drowning, I did not make it out alive.

"I seek greatness,
but greatness
does not seek me,"
is what they told me.
They said
it was because I could not
live up to their expectations,
so instead
I decided to die down
with their disappointments.

Lookie Loos
Hold both hands in the hole of my sweater.
It’s just life.
Choking on my mother’s intimidating words,
if I close my eyes maybe they won’t notice me.

I looked great in the photos.  
High diving into broken glass,
This is going to sting,
giving the lookie loos something to chat about.

Wild birds need air.
Roll out the papers
No stems, no seeds.
Just a pencil thin line that separate tragedy from clarity.

can’t fall a sleep
my thoughts are with you
and i only want to weep
when you’re not around
but you’re makin it so so hard to me

I will no longer surrender
your touch was a poison
my body had never new before
abandoning you so i can recover
from the black marks and scars on my skin
the way you messed me up
like no one did

I hate being different
In a place where
nothing.
ever.
changes.
Where everyone
Walks the same
Talks the same
Dresses the same
Sleeps with the same boys
Fights with the same girls
It's like they're afraid
Of change
Stuck in their own world
Doomed
To repeat history
Again.
And again.
I grew up here
But I never fit in
I always wondered why
I get it now
Everyone here is so scared
For their lives to change
It's not so bad,
Change,
So maybe you all should
Stop.
Judging.
The different ones
And realize
Just maybe
It's time to stop being the same

I wake up in the morning,
No energy, no life,
Wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep.

I go through that day,
With fake smiles, Fake laughs,
Because I don’t have any real ones left.

What you said to me,
Was just another kick in the face,
It took me out, there was immense pain,
And just like everything else, I tried to shake it off.

I forced myself through the rest of the day,
With a bruise not on my face,
But in my heart.

Finally the sun set and darkness took over.
Sometimes sleep comes to you, not by being tired,
But by being tired of living the day.

The day takes a toll on you, physically and mentally.
But today, this day, everything came crashing down,
And took me down with it.

My support lines failed and now here I lie,
Not having the strength to once again, get back up,
Move on, and walk away.