No one knows me, and I mean that wholeheartedly.

Any clue you think I let slip was thought about carefully.
Any sigh or smile was planned out perfectly.
My curt replies written out pensively.
My attitude delivered deliberately.
My laughs emitted purposely.
Any sign of being intrigued thought about timely.
The bounce in my step choreographed repetitively.
Any cry made Oscar-ly.
Any sign of hopelessness shown thoughtfully.

Whether my skies are gray or blue,
*You only connect the dots I give you.

I'm scared I'll get so lost.
I'm scared I'll lose my train of thought.

I'm scared I won't be able to stop,
that I'll lose control of this self onslaught.


I'm afraid of the relief I feel.
I'm afraid of the need I have for sharp steel.

I'm afraid of the red trickling down,
of this being my way out.


I'm petrified of wanting to leave everything behind.
I'm petrified of not having anything left for me down the line.

**I'm petrified of the world and what's in it,
of the carving horrors on my arm and wrist.

Floating, well trying to.
Sinking then lifting up
with clouds, right by you.
Nothing has ever described us as much.

This pool with its endless rivers,
Endless drops to infinity.
Temperature that keeps me warm but at the same time sends me shivers,
Your heated stare makes me cold, there's so much intensity.

Less is more or is more less? I feel like it's more about quality.

Half empty, half full cups,
Wantng you has a plus.
But then you hose me down to my inner crust,
Leaving nothing but rippling dust.

Trying to stand in angry waters,
Trying to swim against raging currents.
I've been through such horrors
that needing to be saved- by you-
is fervent.

Nothing makes it easy,
Neither boats or boards, they're too flimsy for me.
If you could just try to- and I ask beggingly-
throw me a life line by loving me deeply.

I'll glide to you happily,
That'll be a sight, you'll see.