Nothing I could
ever write would
capture the way
you make me feel
when you're not even trying.

Mom sneaks through the front door
I'm pretending to be asleep on the couch
At 4AM, she reeks of cigarettes
She closes the door softly, dad stays asleep

I pretend I am sleeping on the couch
Mom drags the smell of cigarettes in with her
The door squeaks quietly, dad still sleeps
He left the TV on again, it reports today's tragedy

Mom smells like black lungs again.
The door clicks shut, she creeps past dad's recliner
He left the TV on again, tragedies muffle her footsteps
She's used to sleeping alone by now.

The door's closed, and dad still sleeps
He left the TV on and snores through tragedy
Mom can barely sleep with him around
The tragedies mean nothing to me

Dad leaves the TV on every night
Mom would sleep better if he left
I don't care about the tragedies
I can see my mom ****** in a crumpled burning car

Mom is restless when dad is home
Tragedies don't mean anything to her
She speeds at night and takes drags of embers
I wonder if she really wants to die

Tragedies play through the screen
Mom speeds at night and lights another cigarette
I wonder, does she want to die?
Doesn't she ever think of me?

Mom drives too fast at night and burns up her lungs
I worry that she's always dying
And never thinks to call me saying, I remember you
I picture sirens and lights outside my house

I ask God why she wants to die
I wonder if she knows what she does to me
When I hear the sirens driving by
I shut my eyes and wait for the door to creak again

I scream whispers, why does she do this to me?
I pray the sirens aren't going to find her
I close my eyes and try not to cry
And at 4 AM, she smells like cigarettes

She makes the sand,
the sand seep away.
Little locket on her chest,
with her steps a gentle sway.
Though her eyes cast
a tender gaze,
her fiery heart sets the sky ablaze.

Dry rain and dry puddles,
never will she stop.
'Til she stumbles to her knees,
the dusty ground, fiercely hot.
She cries out in pain
and laughs through tears,
a withered smile
of withered years.

She sees me.

Her faces relaxes,
her lungs give out,
her limbs betray her
and with one final strain she says:
*I can't hate.

Words hurt
More than anything
It can **** someone inside
All it takes is one mean thing
And every bit confidence they have
Just shatters
They start questioning themselves
Believing what you say
What you've started is a storm
That won't stop
Until its wrecked everything in its wake
It's easier just to be nice
Even if you don't like the person
No name calling or cussing people out
Don't use words like ******
Or ***** or emo
Don't call people too fat or too skinny
Remember
You don't know where they've been
Or what they're going through right now
You never know if the last thing you say
Will be the last thing they ever hear
So be careful
And choose wisely
Because in all reality
*Words can ****

And as the leaves change colors
And kiss the trees goodbye,
They meet lips with another
The ground upon which they'll lie

And just as the seasons change,
My thoughts wander back to you
Wishing things could be the same
Standing alone, under a sky so blue

And just as the waves roll past,
kissing the skin of my toes
I wish that we could last,
I wish it was I you chose.

Not about love or life.
Not about sun and snow.
Not about hate or politics.
What more ought we know.

Not philosophy, psychology or history.
Nor horror, adventure or mystery.
Whether on sea or land,
it will not stand
in the vast oak court of reality.

I'm fine
The biggest lie ever told
I say it so often
You'd think it'd get old
But I don't want people to know
Whats really going on
It saves me the trouble
From explaining all that I've gone
Through and through
I don't mean to lie
Yet this is way easier
I'm conflicted inside
I want to let you in
On this charade I play
But you'd only judge me
And soon turn away
Just like others have
Long before you
Be honest with me
Can I trust you with truth?