I don't know where to start my journey,
The start seems too obvious,
I'd rather start from the end and make my way back,
Collecting the debris of the mistakes I have made,
So when I reach the beginning I can retrace my steps
Once more and live a life without the missing pieces.
I'll be older and wiser
Stronger and braver
Have the courage to heal the scars.
I like to think that this dark patch
Is just a test,
A temporary phase that is testing my strength,
My power,
My will to live.
Although at the moment it seems like a war I will irrevocably lose,
That doesn't mean I should throw my guns into the sand
And let the white flag blow in the desert storm of my insecurities.
A little guidance goes a long way,
And soon I will have that guidance,
A hand to hold,
A shoulder to purge the rest of those unwanted tears
From my disorganised subconsciousness.
It is a frightening and truly fearful journey,
I cannot deny it,
But we all have to start somewhere
So that we can grasp onto that epiphany
That will light up the pavement to our final and hopeful destination.
A lot has been going on recently. The people I love the most have seen the darker side to me that I have tried so hard to hide from them. But now I couldn't be any more grateful. I'm getting help and I will mend in time. I have so much love for the people who have stuck by me through it all, and this poem is an ode to not only those who have supported me, but also to those who still have hope. Never give up, you're not unfixable!