This is from that silent girl from your maths class,
you never really knew existed.
But today,
I'm writing this,
to appreciate all those sweet memories,
to let you know about my story,
where the main role was played by you.
As you were the king in my dreams.
Yes, we'd classes together and I sat beside you,
did you even knew this before ?
I always tried to catch your brown eyes,
But I always failed.
I always turned my head back,
after staring at you for straight fifteen seconds,
because you never even looked at me.
That feeling is hard to explain,
but what if I still feel the same ?
What if your name still makes my heart beat faster,
but I just ignore because there's no point,
you consumed me and left a hole.
But I must admit that,
everything changed when I saw you,
when I realized that there's magic in your presence.
Something that made me attend the classes,
I hated the most.
Your rainbow coloured clothes,
made my body in black leather, jump,
as those love songs started making more sense,
and those flowers in the garden seemed more pretty.
You were like a blooming daisy,
in my life which felt more like a desert.
But unfortunately,
I'd to leave.
With all these feelings and words, unspoken, with me,
maybe we'll meet in after like and complete this story

Every day is for improvement,
to learn something new.
As we always get new opportunities.

Let's appreciate every moment as it is,
a light of hope in dark,
a moment of doing something what we love.
As it's the only way to be truly satisfied,
in our busy lives.

Creating something you could be proud of,
writing what you feel,
and make an impact on others lives too.

There's a reason why we're here,
somethings are just meant to be.

Do something everyday,
create a life you've always dreamed to live.

"You don't sleep at nights ?
Are you sleep deprived ?
Who are you talking to ?
Binge watching ?
What's the matter inside your mind ?
I don't understand that why I've to clarify that,
it's not my phone that keep me up late at nights,
or someone special in my life.
Just my dreams,
makes me lose my sleep.
I always knew that I'm not gonna waste any of my time,
when I know what I've on my mind.
I knew that I needed to think about my happiness first,
because others come at second.
But even after all this,
I just feel like I'm trapped,
because people's opinions,
still effects my plans.
Even though,
I know that,
they don't make any sense.
I just don't understand,
how can I trust anyone ?
How to believe that,
they're my well wishers ?
Because they all seem so sketchy,
at different points of life.
What's this deal?
How do I decide ?
I hate being inefficient,
but I just can't see the truth, with my eyes.
Because everyone here,
is presenting painted lies.

Just because I act fine,
doesn't mean I'm happy.
Stop fooling yourself my dear society !
I'm tired of pretending everything I'm not,
I've no shoulder to lean on.

Locking myself, trying to cry,
but today, the tears just don't come out of my eyes.
I don't know why ?
Maybe because I'm used to it ?

Staring at my room's wall blindly,
and I can feel my heart getting into pieces,
and no hope to pick and fix it.
I wish I could scream, but I'm helpless.
I'm not sad but,
angry on myself for feeling this way.

Hurting myself but,
hiding my scars by wearing long sleeves n hoodies and jackets.
It's not that no one asked me if I was okay,
but the truth is that,
no one really cared.
No one really wanted to know what's going on with me everyday.

And this situation forced me to pretend things in front of everyone.
Can anyone just teach me how to express these feelings into words ?
Because deep down,
this rough phase of life hurts !

She always refused to try those DIY face masks and home remedies ,
and never took care of herself before .
But today ,
she put on a face mask ,
turned on the music a lil louder than usual ,
and tied a sleek ponytail !
You  know why ?
In order to distract herself ,
in order to escape !
No ! it's not her heartbreak ,
it's just because of a heartattack in her kidney !
Yes ! Because she found out that ,
her results of board exams were gonna come out the next day .

Lying on the floor,
wondering why I've got this life.
My heart has been broken my so many,
but healed my none.
I've tried my best every time.
I've tried picking those pieces and handling them over to someone,
and that's where I always go wrong.
And I don't know if all of this is making me more strong or,
just makes me numb everyday.

Life, why have you been pretty harsh to me recently ?
Or is it just me who have been harsh to myself ?
I don't know really.
I don't feel like I understand what's going on lately.

What's the meaning of life ?
How do I understand it ?
Who's gonna help me ?
No one ? Really ?

How do I even define it when I don't understand the concept, clearly ?
It's more like a dark room,
which gets lightened up only in the day time.
Or like that one favourite fruit of yours,
in the stinky plate of salad.
It's more about little things,
I think I should stop making it a big deal.

Our lives are just a series of bad moments,
with the little happiness sprinkled on everything.
Only if we notice and enjoy everything.
Only if we smile through our glories,
but also, miseries.
Because we never know,
if something is going to to be a good thing or turn into just another bad memory.

Relationship with him wasn't fun anymore .
I wonder when , why and where did it all go .
So many questions and he's not here to answer anymore .
"What happened exactly?"
His voice stopped exciting me ,
seeing him didn't make my heart skip a beat ,
he didn't make me happy like he did before ,
that smile I passed right from my heart when I looked at him ,
I don't do that anymore and now ,
here I'm faking smiles to the people I don't even know .
And sadly,
I realized that ,
there are no feelings left to feel .
I ended it but why ?
No one to make me feel fine and hold me tight .
Should I go back to him ?
Nah ! I'm just hurting ,
his heart and my feelings .
I knew I'm a mess ,
and couldn't hold onto relationships .
Maybe he just gave up too ,
because the future of "us" wasn't clear to him .
What's wrong with me ?
My heart ?
It's just a piece of flesh .
Just another part of my body but it have a beat .
A beat that have a rhythm ,
and speaks that :
if I'd the courage to quit ,
maybe we can heal,fight against my stupidities .
By making efforts ,
to get through this .

Don't make me feel loved,
I'm not used to it.
I'm scared of getting all my broken pieces together,
just to get them broken again.
Aren't you scared of commitment ?
Are you sure you want to make promises ?
I'm still terrified.
So frightened that I can't even breathe in my own body.
I'm suffocating all the time.
I feel like, I''ll destroy you as my life already feels like void.

Writing this in 2020,
when we're going through a global pandemic.
Everything's closed and,
we're staying at our homes.
I know I'll be fine if I take all the precautions,
but life takes turns and we don't know what's coming next.
And no one is immortal,
so, I don't know if I'll be here in upcoming years,
but I really want my words to stay alive.

So many deaths all around the world,
and we still don't have a vaccine to cure this disease.
We all are fighting against this together,
even though we all are struggling.
So many people don't have food to eat or places to stay in,
some of them lost their loved ones and some don't have access to medical facilities even when they're effected.
Social distancing is the only activity we can practice to save our lives,
and survive in this hard time.

W all are trying to stay safe but has anyone thought "why so many problems?"
We all hurt our mother nature everyday,
without even knowing it.
Have you not noticed the change in the environment these days ?
The sky is so clear and our surroundings are so clean,
just because people are staying in.
It's all our fault because we are needy and selfish.
If this isn't an apocalypse,
then, I hope this condition teaches everyone a lesson.

Be a flower to the people as spines,
because only want you to shine.
They're not faking anything,
they're just trying to disguise.
Because they don't wanna bother you with their love in their heart for you.
They just have their ways to be affectionate.

I believe that every person is created by god and has inherent personal strength.
We all have the ability to impact the world in a unique way.
We all have so many opportunities to make choices that will positively affect others.
I've a desire to impact the world for good by reaching out to others in love and service.
Let's strive to instill right values,
to motivate someone's actions.
Let's seek genuine concern for others,
let's enter god's gates,
with joy and grace !
Let's thank him for everything we've today !
And with thanksgiving in our hearts,
let's enter his courts with praise.
Let us thank you dear god,
I feel so blessed for everything I've today,
thank you for giving me strength everyday.
I promise I won't complaint anymore,
thank you for everything you've gave.
Now, let blessings flow and find it's way !

A lot of events occur in our lives.
Some are happy and enjoyable but some are sad and traumatic.
You lose hope,
and you notice differences in people's behaviour towards you.
And that's how you learn to bear with all the ache.
When you choose to prioritize yourself first,
when you take your own decisions and when you don't care about people's opinions,
a lot of things change.
Make replacements.
And get rid of the negative people and love the ones who encourage you instead.
It's hard but it's crucial,
so you've to do it,
and you know what ?
The less you care,
the more they hate.
This change is necessary as depending on people for emotional support isn't good,
because you never know about people's intentions.
To cope with loss,
you become stronger.
So strong that you don't need anyone else.
Just believe that if everything's falling apart right now,
it will fall into place too soon.
Just have faith in your actions fall for the person you've became after these turns and obstacles in this life's stage.

(Quotes into turning
"I know I'm losing many but I'm loving the person life's turning me into ."
-Nitya Prakash
~
"One of the most crucial but hardest things yo do as a part of turning your life around is to get rid of all the negative people around you and replace them who encourage you instead."
-Neal Boortz )

Protest **** ?
What's the first thing that comes to your mind after reading
these two phrases.
Candle march ?
Asking for protection ?
Crying and shouting in front of media to get attention ?
And then, get back to home,
and call girls "*" because of her clothes ?

So, this is a society that we live in ?
If yes,
then, sorry I can't stay.
But where do I even go if I run away ?
There are no safe places,
we've a monster in every corner,
with a desperate *,
dying for some satisfaction.
Why don't you try ******* ?
Because women aren't here to fulfill your dreams of ****** interaction.

Asking your sister to not go out because it's not safe,
while telling your girl about how will you've *** ?
Why are you sexually assaulting your daughter,
in the name of love ?
Don't you know that it's a crime, uncle ?
Stop * your wife every night,
if she's not fine with it.
Your marriage don't give you a right to go against her will.

Try shutting your ****** fantasies,
when you meet a girl.
It's her body,
not a **** movie for your entertainment,
you * !
Watch your eyes and your ***** mind, please.
It was never our fault,
we're not offering blow jobs to you all.
You can't control your ****** desires,
and that's not our responsibility.
You should know how to respect,
I wish you did.
Because this lack of education is leading to crimes and life-long trauma,
so many innocent girls have to suffer because of such mother**s.

Friendships aren't meant to fade away,
but it just goes away someday.
And in between this gradual process,
you'll know,
who's real and who's fake ?
They'll be there at 2 am for you,
losing their sleep,
just to make you feel free,
when you feel miserable about everything.
Just because they've a lot of work to do in the afternoon,
they'll manage their time.
But life **s us up every time,
and maybe they won't be able to catch up or meet you for months.
But their hugs will always feel like home,
when you meet them,
and that's on being best of friends.
They'll be a symbol of trust, love and loyalty in your life.
Someone who will always be around,
not physically,
but their presence in your life will make you feel fine in your bad times.

I've days when I hold back my tears,
because I've to.
I've to act like I'm fine,
even when I don't want to.
I wish I could live my life,
in the ways I've always wanted to.
But sadly,
life ***** and I still try to find reasons to feel okay.
But I don't even know if I'm in my body anymore.
I'm out of my mind.
This world is spinning,
and in simple words,
I'm dying.
I'm aware that I've lost myself again.
But it's hard to accept that how my first thought in morning is,
I wish I was dead.

Just another wednesday morning,
going to school, with that same backpack,
and wearing the uniform that I hate,
along with that fake face again.

Witnessing so many stories,
along with these tails.
Realizing that I'm lowkey, living in vain.

Going to the bus stop alone,
realizing no one will ever walk with me,
in this life's journey.

Sitting in that bus,
full of people,
and I see a story in everybody.
But nobody else really like that.
So, maybe it's just me,
making up characters in my head.

Walking in the school,
with so many artists around me.
They're here to make their dreams,
their reality.
But am I doing right to myself ?
Because I feel like I don't even belong here,
I feel like I should quit.

They say "the sun shines bright today",
but they don't know what it's like,
to not to be okay any day.

They try making us understand that how precious time is,
but they don't understand that,
that's the only thing I'm regretting.
How do I tell them that I'm clueless,
how do I explain that all of this,
just don't feel right !
So, I'l just shut up,
because I don't wanna be annoying.

These kids, they talk about each-other,
and every other drama.
But I don't understand why no one talks about life, thoughts and dreams.

It feels like I'm just wasting my time,
and my bad manners are eating me up from inside.
I feel like I'm at a wrong place,
but I can't even escape.

Self absorbed people annoys the * out of me,
just by being around.
I'm so tired of your *,
aah ! you're so toxic.
Don't you realize that I'm a person too,
and I feel different emotions ?
I'm hurt but I'm not dying for attention like you,
some feelings just don't feel so certain,
some thoughts runs in my mind with every breathe.
But it doesn't really matter I guess.
Because I'm supposed to pretend like everything's fine,
as you wanna make everything about yourself every time.

She've a heart of gold,
and her attitude is pretty bold.
She's not what she looks like,
she's a lot more than she shows.
She's more like stories written in a book or,
secrets wrapped in diaries.
Her smile have a charm,
and her eyes have a spark like stars.

She can be the kindest,
but also, cold-hearted sometimes.
She got no bad intentions towards anyone,
but she just have been hurt a lot of times.
She've been belittled,
but how can someone not listen to the melody when she talks,
and how she sprinkles love with every footstep when she walks.
It's sad how noone reads her eyes and,
notices the pain in her eyes.

She can be moody,
but also, carries a lot of dreams in her mind.
She've oddity when it comes to her beliefs.
But trust me,
she's more amazing than you get to see and it's hard to define her beauty.
She's better than all the lies and images she've created in people's mind.
I genuinely feel bad for the people,
who can't see the reality.

Her eyes have something more beautiful than moon and stars,
but what about her scars?
She screams for help but no one listens,
there are so many monsters an demons hidden.
Sometimes she escapes,
sometimes she fights,
but all alone,
she cries.
She still smiles and hides all the pain in her eyes,
She made that pain look beautiful,
but no one will ever understand,
how the truth is so painful.

If she's smiling ,
doesn't mean she's happy .
If she's acting fine ,
doesn't mean nothing is wrong .
If she comes off strong ,
doesn't mean she don't cry anymore .
If she's sitting silently ,
doesn't mean her heart don't wanna scream .

Don't trust her fake smiles ,
don't trust her when she says she's fine .
She have been losing her mind lately ,
she have been so lost from a while .
And the sad part is ,
no one can see it , no one cares .

She have been treated acidly ,
she have been unloved and ignored ,
and still , she's so bold .

Everything that happened to her in the past ,
makes her the person you get to see today .
She was this , little happy girl ,
but now , just a girl who fakes a smile throughout the day .

She's a precious pearl ,
and deserves all the happiness in the world .
Even though she thinks that she don't deserve it ,
she do and she's perfect in all the ways .

I lack words to describe her ,
but I appreciate the girl ,
who have been through so much ,
and still stands strong .

Best friends ? No !
After what you did,
I'm sorry but our friendship isn't worth it.
I won't say that, I hate you,
because now, for me, you don't even exist.

You weren't hurt,
you were just jealous.
Your only intention for friendship with me was, getting people's attention.
I'm sorry to say this ex best friend,
but the truth is,
you always treated me like an option.

Now why are you acting like you can't live without me ?
Just because you realized that one cares about you like I did ?
I'm sorry ! But just don't come back to me,
because for me, you're already dead !

Why aren't you going to those people who were your happy place ?
And the ones who were your reason for smile ?
Where are your always changing boyfriends tonight ?
When tears don't stop coming out of your eyes.

Yes ! I was wrong !
Because I was just wasting my feelings, emotions, and time,
by thinking that you're always right.
I tried my best to make you feel good and happy by being the best friend of yours,
but maybe you were too busy with your stupid group of pretty girl.

I was always there for you in your hard times,
but you've no clue,
how many nights I spent crying in my bedroom.
I listened and also understood your moods,
when you didn't even speak !
But what happened to you that day ?
When I was screaming and explaining every little thing,
why didn't you understand me ?

It's okay if you miss me for a few days,
because you'll get new friends very soon.
But remember that, they'll never tell you what I told you.
You always try to be cool,
and end up being a fool.
Your friends, the cool ones.
they're your friends but only in front of you,
and they're your enemies at your back.
Don't forget that.

I was honest, I was loyal,
because you were my only friend.
And whenever Ii said that,
you're my best friend and my sister,
trust me, I meant that.

But now,
I'm honestly so done with your drama for attention.
This isn't what we call attitude,
but I've just raised my standards,
after I realized my true value.

Don't force me for doing anything or,
I'll **** your life up now.
Yes ! I'm moving on from a toxic friendship and,
leaving you like a choice.
I know you're gonna spread rumors,
and look all nice.

So, you better stay away from me,
because I don't see a point of giving any explanations or proofs.
Go find someone new !
But this time,
I'm not with you,
so no one is gonna save you from becoming a fool.

Hiding behind screens,
crying to sleep.
Cool on instagram,
fool in reality.
This is what our generation is ?
Social media is everything,
so doing anything for likes and views,
from the people we don't even know, existed before this.
Connecting with people from different corners of the world,
but not making an effort to talk to the person sitting next to us.
What's the point of living in the same house ?
when we can just see each other's status on facebook ?
Swearing, bullying, blackmailing and hacking people online,
but being nice and acting all fine, in reality.
Blocking and unfollowing people we don't like,
deleting their pictures from our device.
But how do we block the memories ?
The moments we've spend with them,
how to clear this data from our minds ?
Faking **,
and living a lie.
Just pretending to be alright,
as no one really have the courage to get self-loathed,
by accepting the truth.
But what about self-discovery ?

"Who am I and why I wanna run away from this **ed up society ?"
"Just a girl from a middle class family who got big dreams and notices a lot of little things."
"Working hard for my dreams,
because I don't wanna die regretting !"
"I'm here to make a mark,
instead of caring about people's opinions on my activities."

Corrupted officers and ministers making big promises,
but disappearing after they win,
so, who will take the responsibility ?
Little kids at the orphanage center,
have no authority.
People living outside living railway stations and on streets,
got no food to eat.
These people believe in making money,
wasting it on useless materialistic things,
but bother when it comes to donating.

Kids of private schools aren't happy because they're having depression and anxiety.
Mental health awareness ?
No one talks about it, in this society.
And government school kids are just dying,
because there are no facilities.

Girls getting married before getting their college degree.
Guys living on their parent's money at the age of 30.
If you like something that's out of their understanding,
the, you should be focusing on studies.
So many people, undiscovered.
So much of talent, still hidden in the streets.
Suppressed dreams, dysfunctional families,
there is so much more in the story,
that you hear. sitting with aunties.
So many people being judgy and living with a sick mentality.
Welcome to then dark side of the society.


I noticed all this and that's why I don't settle for less than my capability,
and I'm not gonna lower my standards to adjust in this society.

I used to cry over my grades.
As the pressure was too much,
And it was affecting my mental health.
So, I started writing to escape.
But now,
The things that broke me,
Words that killed me,
Actions that made me simp,
All of that,
Have changed with time.
Now,
I just laugh when I fail.
Because I know my worth,
My plans.
I know that I'll make my upcoming days better than today.

Both of them missed, cried and talked about each-other to the moon.
Love failed in the eyes of the world that day,
but moon knew they were meant to be.
Because only the moon,
witnessed both side of the story.
And all the love they'd in their in their hearts for each other.

Sun ! It's beautiful, right ?!
Not because it looks good in pictures,
or,
because it feels like you're in magical genre's book.
No ! It's beautiful because,
it gives us the best lessons of our lives.
Only if you notice,
only if you're good at observing.
What I learnt from sunset is that,
no matter how many times you fall,
you're not a failure.
Where are rainbows without a little rain ?
Get up !
Try harder ! Because,
life isn't easy for anyone here.
Sun sets in the evening,
but still rises on the next day.
And from this,
I learnt that,
I should stop waiting for moments !
And start to make my present,
the moment I wanna live in,
the one I carve for.
No matter how many times you feel low,
you can still shine bright,
and, hurt people's eyes.
We can't escape from reality,
so, how can we forget about clouds ?
There will be days when the sun won't shine bright,
because of some dark clouds.
But the sun always try to come out of darkness and shine.
This is what exactly happens in real life, right ?
People will let you down, and,
throw you in dark days.
Don't let them affect you,
you can still shine bright like sunshine !
We all learn new lessons,
on a new day.
So, believe in yourself,
keep learning and,
don't give up because of some stupid dark clouds,
okay ?

Today, I choose bright blue sky,
over the sleepless dark nights.
Smile over tears.
Staying alone over fake people.
Simplicity over extraordinary.
Self-respect over attitude.
Satisfaction over guilts.
Happiness over people's opinions.
Today,
I decide to write my own story,
over all these judgements and expectations.
Today,
I decide to search for my purpose,
to search what I was made for
Today,
I choose life !
I know I'm getting a lot of hate,
to do things in this way.
Ii know this path seems dark and hard,
but if needed,
I'll become the light !
And, I' promise, I'll come back,
shining even more bright.

Hey best friend !
I love you !
So , keep smiling .
Oh ! I forgot to tell you ,
your smile is contagious ,
and it gives me felicity .
Yeah I know you expostulate with me when it comes to coffee .
But still , you're the best because ,
you're tolerating the loony and loquacious me .

Oh my best friend !
How are you so hot ?
How can I forget how you changed my life for better when ,
it was null and naught .
You saved me ,
when I jeopardized myself .
Thank you for all the suggestions and lessons .
You helped me a lot and ,
you were always there for me when I needed you the most .

I  text you even when ennui don't hit me ,
because I love talking to you .
Overall , you're my happy pill !
No matter how bad my mood is ,
you always fix me .
You taught me to smile again ,
and you enlivened  my life .
I found a piece of me ,
with you ,
I lost before some time .

Hopefully , we'll meet one day ,
and I'll hug you tight .
And , on that day ,
distance won't **** anymore .
I'm honestly so glad that I met you ,
you're all mine , okay ?
And I appreciate our friendship ,
thank you idiot !

Dear mom and dad ,
this is your daughter .
I wanted to say sorry ,
for acting rude sometimes .
I wish I could tell you ,
how hard things have been from a while .
I promise to try my best all the time ,
but can you just stop getting disappointed by my actions ?
Because you really need to admit that ,
your daughter is just a mess .
You deserve a better daughter than me ,
because you guys are amazing .
I feel like I'm a ******* ,
wasting your money and time .
I don't know if I could ever pay back everything you've done for me ,
yes ! yo treated me like a princess ,
but I'm sorry ,
I've lost my crown !

You've mistaken my words sometimes,
so, I'm writing this for correcting your misunderstandings.
I spent a while thinking that I'm not someone you want me to be,
and this will never make me a good child.
But after sometime, I realized,
you guys raised me, how can you hate me ?
Maybe, lack of communication and understanding,
made me feel so for a bit.

I know I hurted you several times,
but, not intentionally.
I would do anything to give you back all the love you've gave me,
but you know what ?
it won't be enough because,
even on my dark days,
you lightened up every moment.
You helped me writing the best chapters of my life,
when my life felt like blank pages.
I threw away my colors on a paper,
and you made it beautiful,
just with a touch.

Just wanted to say,
thank you for treating me like a princess and loving me more than anyone else.
I'm glad I've you guys to understand me,
thank you for holding me.
Nothing of this will ever go to waste,
and you'll never be in misery because of me.
I'm still your girl, just with a lot of dreams now and believe me,
you'll be proud of me one day.
You'll realize that I was a good decision and you raised me right.

This is to that stranger,
I've loved the most.
We still cross paths,
but it's just not the same.
I hope you're doing okay.
I'll always pray for you,
regardless of the things,
that have changed.
You left,
but memories will always stay.
I gave you my heart in love,
but I don't understand why you returned it to me into pieces.

Remember when I said that,
I'll always be there for you ?
Yeah, I meant it.
So, you can still come to me,
and expect me to act gentle.
No harsh feelings, no hate.
Well ! I don't wanna bother you with my words or my presence.
Anyways, take care.

This is to the boy I love ,
I know I **** and that's why , nothing ever works .
I don't have a ******* love life ,
but that doesn't mean , I don't wanna be loved .

You're someone special for me ,
but for you ,
do I even exist ?
Hell no ! Because I'm not attractive .

But I'm a fool for you ,
I come to school ,
just to see you .
I try to find reasons to be around you ,
I know you never notice me ,
but I notice every single thing about you .

Making an eye contact with you ,
is so dangerous !
But do I love it ?
Of course I do !
Because when it comes to you ,
I forget about everything else and ,
fall even more for you .

But you know what's stupid ? about all this ?
You're not here to catch me but I'm still falling a little more in love with you , every single second .
And maybe ,
I'll fall apart because of this , pretty soon .

I wish I could control my feelings or ,
just have the courage to tell you .
But just because I'm not good at expressing ,
all I'm gonna do is ,
sit here , thinking about you , and expect you to look at me ,
the way I do .

But deep down , I know that ,
it's not gonna happen .
So , I'm writing about you ,
because my love for you , is true !

What if I'm drowning into my own tears ?
What if I'm just ignoring my feelings ?
I wish medicines could heal the damage you've gave.
Would you even care if I die today ?
I honestly feel like,
you never did,
so yeah ! It's okay.

I'm addicted to you and you're a drug to me,
I wish I could get over you,
but I don't see it happening.
You treated me like a cigarette,
and threw me away after making yourself feel good,
but what about me now ?
My love was true,
and I still have got feelings for you,
I don't regret falling for you,
because for a moment, everything felt perfect.
That touch of you,
the way you looked at me,
and those texts of you everyday.
All of it, I loved it.

I thought you'll be a definition of forever for me,
but guess who stated losing feelings,
in three months or just two ?
I don't understand why I couldn't see that it didn't even really mean a thing to you.
I was so in love with you,
and I hope you knew about this.
But if you did,
then why didn't you understand ?
Why did you leave me hanging like this ?

I gave a lot of me to you,
in the phase where,
I was in love with you.
I still am,
but it just don't matter anymore.
It would have been absolutely fine,
all of this,
if you told me that it's just not the same.
I would have just walked away,
rather than walking with you.
I would have just cried on my pillow,
rather than leaning on your shoulder.

When I was with you,
I never knew that all of this,
will vanish away from my life one day.
I didn't knew that my dream of being forever with you,
will be snatched away from my life that way.
I could have made it alone if you rejected me,
but how do I deal with all of this now ?
Because I've got memories with you,
I've lived the most special moments of my life, with you,
something that I can never forget.

Now, I'm stuck.
I don't know how to react to all of this.
So, I'll just write about all this,
all of my pain, in my poetry.
And try to let you go,
and keep you alive only in my words and not in my mind.

I don't contemplate you as my friend,
because you do a lot of things which aren't acceptable.
But still, expect me to be fine with it.

Putting me on your insta stories or writing me paragraphs,
don't mean a thing,
if you really don't respect me.

Using me for attention and popularity only,
and sticking around me,
because you think I'm cool ?
Yeah ! that idea is absolutely *ty.

Are you even a good friend if you just talk * about me,
behind my back.
Because, bro ! what about loyalty ?

Telling people wrong things about me,
and judging my character,
when Ii told you something,
because I thought you were trustworthy !

Bringing me flowers when I'm sick,
but making fun of my insecurities.

Saying that you wanna make me feel loved but how ?
Because I can't see you doing anything effective,
but just hurting me because I don't expect you to be mean to me.

Using words to express that you care,
but what about actions ?
Well ! you don't even make me feel good in my bad times.
What's your point ?

Not supporting me with anything,
even when I always hype you up,
when you're about to do something terrible.
Because I know that you won't listen to my advices.

Coming to me,
only when you've no one,
is nothing but just selfieshness.
Because you were never there for me.

Hurting my feelings but still calling me your best friend,
as if I'm a backup plan or just "nobody" when you don't need me.

Your toxic traits,
are ** up my living because you're nothing but,
just someone like a trashing machine and,
one of the mistakes that I've made.
Because you're destroying a lot of things, with your toxicity.

I'm used to all this but it's all just so unhealthy,
that I can't even tolerate.
I wish I could unmeet you and,
remove everything we had.

Unrequited love hurts ?
But for me,
it's a pleasure to sit and waste all my time, counting to infinity,
and wait to get the love back that I've been giving.
Waiting to be destroyed by the betrayal from a person who don't even know that I exist.
But does that mean I'll stop loving ?
No, because it's hard to love again,
if you truly felt affection towards someone.
Doesn't matter if there's any love left,
but just pain.
When you let someone go,
you lose a part of yourself and I'm not ready to feel a blank space inside of me so I'll stay.
I want to feel like someone's holding me,
or I'll fall down.
I need something to keep me going,
or my life will be miserable,
and more like hell.
I'm just another star but I still believe in happy endings because my love is true.
I can't leave you behind,
and move forward in my life.
Because I've already convinced myself that one day,
you'll be mine.
What if I'm nothing without you ?
Just a thought of you is so magical,
It feels like home.
I wander all the time,
but still, end up coming back to you.
I've done things I won't ever do,
just because I've you.
I'm not in your life,
but you're all that I look forward to.

मेरे जज़्बात से वाकिफ मेरी कलम,
हमेशा मेरे सपनो को ही लिखती है ।
और मेरे सपनो का हिस्सा,
तुम भी हो ।
वैसे तो पत्तझड़ में गिरते पतो को कोन पूछता है ?
पर पता नहीं क्यू, में,
मेरा मन,
हमेशा तुमसे यह आशा करता है की,
बस तुम साथ देना ।

मंज़िल चाहे हो भी हो,
जैसी भी हो,
सफर बोहोत सुहाना होगा ।
जब मेरे हाथों में तुम्हारे हाथ,
तुम्हारी बाहों में मेरा बदन,
और दिल को इस बात की तस्सली की,
मेरे पास तुम्हारा साथ होगा ।
कुछ अासान नहीं होगा,
हर मोड़ पे तकलीफे होगी ।
एक पल में सब खो देने का डर तो होगा पर क्या फर्क पड़ता है ?
झेल लेंगे न,
क्यूंकि तुम्हारा साथ भी होगा ।


और अगर कठिन स्तिथि में तुम साथ हो,
तो अच्छे दिन भी जल्द ही आ जाएंगे ।
ज्यादा कुछ नहीं मांगा है,
क्यूंकि कठिनाईयां तो हर मोड़ पे है ।
में बस हर तकलीफ तुम्हारे साथ देखना चाहती हूं,
उससे लड़,
उससे बाहर आना चाहती हूं ।
हमेशा तुम्हारे साथ रहना चाहती हूं,
वोह हर लम्हा जब तक में यह पे हूं,
वोह तुम्हारे साथ जीना चाहती हूं ।

ज़िन्दगी है यह,
यहां कभी भी कुछ भी हो सकता है ।
एक कदम, एक गलती,
और सब खत्म हो सकता है,
पर शायद उस एक कदम से,
बोहोत कुछ बदल भी तो सकता है ।
आज जी रहे है,
कल शायद यहा सांस लेने को नहीं होंगे ।
इसलिए तुमसे पूछ रही हूं ।

जैसे भी रास्ते हो,
हर कदम में साथ दोगे ?
हर खुशी और गम में,
मेरे साथ रहोगे ?
तो क्या बोलते हो तुम ?
मेरे साथ जीना चाहोगे ?

Feminism : " the belief that women should have same rights and opportunities as men " and not, "demoralizing other men in the society".
Equality is "situation in which everyone has the same rights and advantages" and not "the situation in which you put men down, just to get what you want".
Are you wondering why am I explaining these meanings of the words, that you hear everyday ?
I'm doing so because a lot of people don't get the concept properly but have a habit of talking ** and choose to practice fake feminism.
Now, what feminism is ?
Basically, an act of teaching what you don't even preach.
You can identify the people who follow this,
By looking at the people around you and noticing how they act different at different places and still manage to handle situations with ease,
Because they're fake feminists.

Who are feminists ?
People who support the act of feminism.
Someone who supports everyone out there and think before they speak about anyone's gender or sexuality.
Someone who fights for the rights,
Regardless of all the struggle and what they'll get because they're doing so, for everyone.
Someone who don't want attention,
Or your sympathy.
Someone who stands for females,
Not just in front of camera or when someone's watching,
But also, when noone's around to see.
Someone who are educated enough to believe that there's nothing wrong with women getting equality in every field.

There are people in the society who think that a girl shouldn't speak loudly because it's not good,
But what about the men of the same house who keep shouting, even when they're just talking.
People who don't want a daughter in law who have had relationships with someone else before,
Well ! What about your son playing Bangkok games ?
People who **** a girl child before she starts dreaming or before she's even welcomed on this Earth,
So what are you doing now ? Family planning ? Okay now, I see why you've 7 kids in your house.
People who think that girls should cover their bodies, And "Free the ******" is a topic of shame,
But what about those men who shows off their penises even when someone's not interested ?
People who think that girls can't have dreams and can't work, because they're physically weak and wasting all their money on their son is worth it.
People who think that girls are just a curse and shouldn't be given equal rights because they can't handle it,
Okay so what about your mom ? You think she's a superhero, right? But at the same time, you're just disrespecting all the females, including your mom, by thinking like this

Do you know why women don't get equal opportunities ?
Because people think they're weak and dumb.
And some of the people who support this kinda thinking,
Aren't even aware of the reason why they believe in this, so, who's smarter ?
Go to any classroom and you'll find a girl in the topper's list,
But why do men still have more seats in the election ?
Why can't we just choose the one who deserves to performs the duty ?
People think that women belong in the kitchen, well ! Just give them the power and you'll get to see.

I don't get it, why do we've to fight for our rights ? Why can't we just be treated equally?just because of people's sick mentality ?
It's sad how people think that,
Giving a girl what she wants is inversely proportional to their reputation in the society.
If god has made these different genders, with its own significance,
There's a reason !
Respect each and every person you meet, without thinking if they've ****** or a ****.
This fight is for standing together and not against, forward or backward.
I guess you all just misunderstood this whole act of feminism.

Why is it so hard to accept that it's okay to appreciate every opinion ?
It's not that hard to grow and glow together instead of pushing each other down and ykw ? It's better because we'll have more power and more ideas to share.
Don't judge someone or tell them what they should be doing after stepping out of their houses in order to be masculine or feminine.
Can't we just be who we're, No matter what we're doing ?
Can't we all just live together and support each other and not care about our genders ?
Can't we all just get over this concept of feminism by enjoying equal advantages together ?

यह दूसरो की बेटी को छेड़ के खुदको स्टड समझते है,
और खुदके घर की लड़कियों को पर्दे में रखते है ।
अपनी बहन का मुंह बंद कर,
खुदको रक्षक बताते है ।
क्या उसूल है इनका ?
हर लड़की पे मरते है,
पर फिर भी खुदको शरीफ बता रहे ।
जुठ बोल के,
फ़ालतू रेप्यूटेशन का रोना गाए जा रहे ।

यह वोह ही है जो " show me your ***** " वाला मेसेज भेंज,
चौराहे पे चार लोगो के साथ, रिप्लाइ का वेट कर रहे ।
अभी भी तेरे थरक की बात नहीं है ?
यह लोग तो हमेशा सही है ।
एक्साइट हुए तो लड़की के तन की गलती है,
यह भूल रहे है कि वैसे ही एक तन से निकल,
अपने मा का दूध पिके,
इस धरती पर चल रहे है ।
इनका एगो ना हर्ट हो जाए बस,
क्यूंकि फिर यह एसिड फेक,
डर और जोश दिखा रहे ।
अभी भी हम शांत रहेंगे ?
भाई तुम गलतफहमी में जी रहे ।

"क्या माल लग रही है यार वोह " यह बोलने में तू नई कतराया,
पर तेरे बहन को बोला गया तब तेरी केसे गान्ड फट गई और तू सिर चड गया ? वोह तूने नहीं बताया ।
तेरी **** कितनी hard,
यह बताने में लाज़ याद नहीं आयी ?
अब periods पे बात आ रही है तो तेरेको घिन आ गई ?

इनकी नीयत हराम है ।
नज़रे नहीं संभालती,
ना शरम आ रही है ।
देश के केसे हाल है ?
जब ऐसे इंसान है ?

इनका दिल कठोर और,
दिमाग में गंध है ।
उसकी चीख में दर्द में,
क्या रेप के पीछे एक सच्चा मर्द है ?
उसके कपड़ों में तकलीफ नहीं,
पर इनके दिमाग में खोट है ।
क्या सच में इन लोगो की इतनी गिरी हुई सोच है ?

खुदको राजा समझते है,
पर इनमें कुछ दम नहीं है ।
नामर्द है और धरती पे इसी का काम काज नहीं है ।
जीने के भी हकदार नहीं यह, टांगो न सालो को,
किस बात का डर है ?
आज फिरसे एक नन्ही परी की जान पे बात आई है,
और तुम्हे बस इस बात का खेद है ?

कोई एक्शन नहीं लेगा,
आवाज़ नहीं उठाएगा तो,
रोज एक रेपिस्ट जन्म लेगा ।
एक कदम बढ़ेगा और रेप होगा,
फिर कोन ज़िमेदार होगा ?

Don't cut yourself ,
don't hurt yourself ,
stay safe and love yourself .
Stop trying to **** the thing in the inside ,
by using a blade on yourself from the outside .
Put that blade down ,
and breathe in and out .
Nowadays , teens are just living in vain ,
struggling with this pain .
But trust me ,
this isn't the right way ,
this isn't how you make it .
Keep going and one day,
you'll say ,
"Yes ! I made it ".

बोहोत कुछ सीखा है मैने,
कुछ ज़िन्दगी है, मजबूरियां है ।
उसने गिराया, चलाया, भगाया, रुलाया,
और हम सीखते चले गए ।
ज़िंदगी के कई मोड़ पर,
खुद को अकेले भी पाया ।
भीड़ में भी अपनेपन का एहसास,
कोई ना करवा पाया ।
दर्द देखा, सेह लिया ।
बुरा लगा, संभाल लिया ।
को कितना साथ है, देख लिया ।
सच क्या है, मान लिया ।
मुश्किले है, सुलझाने का प्रण लिया ।
हार मानने से भी इंकार किया ।
बोहोत सिखाया मुझे ज़िन्दगी ने,
बोहोत गिराया है,
इसलिए बोहोत कुछ सीख लिया है मैने खुड्से ही ।
सीखना पड़ा ही, मजबूरियां थी ।
हार मानने का भी कभी इरादा नहीं,
क्यूंकि घर बैठी उस मां के इच्छाओं पर सवाल आया है ।
"कुछ कर दिखाना है सबको",
ऐसा नहीं सोचते अब ।
क्यूंकि काफी कुछ करते आए है,
आजतक किसने साथ निभाया है ?
दिखावे में अब हम मानते नहीं,
ना, वोह नहीं गवाया है ।
जो भी दिखाना है,
खुदको दिखाना है ।
जंग अब खुदसे है,
और आइने में खड़े उस इंसान को गर्व महसूस करवाना है ।

क्रिएटिव राइटिंग का कोर्स था करना,
साइंस का नहीं,
पोएट्री का स्वाद था चखना !
गिरना है,
पर कुछ सीखना है उससे,
भागना है,
पर गति का ध्यान रखना है ।
संभालना है,
और हमेशा खुदका ध्यान रखना है ।
क्या मतलब जब में खुश नहीं हूं ?
क्या मतलब जब में इतना सेह रही हूं ?
चलो मान लिया कि सब ठीक है,
पर मुझे ऐसे नहीं जीना !
सब का मन्न रखते,
खुद को खोती जा रही हूं ।
डर लगता है कि कहीं इतनी गुम ना हो जाऊ,
की वापस ही ना लौट पाऊ ।
यह टूटे ख्वाब लेके में कहा जाऊ ?
इस धरती पे, किस पराए को अपना बनाऊ ?
सबको लगता है कि मेरी लाइफ तो सेट है क्यूंकि यह बंदी तो सबके सामने हस्ती है,
पर केसे बताऊ की ज़िन्दगी केसे कट रही है ?

Life may not be really good these days,
but this isn't the end of the world.
That means,
we've got time.
We can make things fine again.

Some of us are fighting with diseases,
some of us are mentally drained.
Someone is going through a heartbreak,
feeling like they're not enough.
And some are stuck in family affairs.

We all are fighting battles,
we don't talk about.
We all have faced situations,
no one knows about.
We all have stories,
we don't recite.

Let's find our mistakes,
and learn from it.
Let's face our fears,
and earn confidence from it.
Let's believe in ourselves,
and clear all the self doubts we've in our heads.

Things will be fine,
and we'll get our lives together someday.
We'll get through this and say,
"Yes ! It's my day ".

We all will smile,
which won't be fake.
We all will speak and pour our hearts out,
without feeling like it's embarrassing and inappropriate.
We all will be happy with our lives,
without complaining someday.

Maybe the time isn't perfect,
but we can make perfection happen.
By trying and giving our best in this life.
Because at some point of marvellous time,
we'll be fine,
we'll be utterly fine.

This is life,
you'll have nights,
when you won't let your body fight,
and you won't sleep tight.
You'll have days,
when you'll try to escape,
but just don't hate.
This isn't a bad life,
but just a bad day.
This is life,
and you'll be in pain,
just keep fighting with the monsters in your brain.
Things will get tough,
but so are you my darling.
You'll never ever give up,okay?
Just keep learning.
Now,wake your soul up and listen,
you're here for a reason,
stop waiting for seasons.
This is your time,
get out of your comfort zone,
because you're strong,
stronger than you know.

This is life,
you'll have nights,
when you won't let your body fight,
and you won't sleep tight.
You'll have days,
when you'll try to escape,
but just don't hate.
This isn't a bad life,
but just a bad day.
This is life,
and you'll be in pain,
just keep fighting with the monsters in your brain.
Things will get tough,
but so are you my darling.
You'll never ever give up, okay?
Just keep learning.
Now wake your soul up and listen,
You're here for a reason,
stop waiting for seasons.
This is your time,
get out of your comfort zone,
because you're strong,
stronger than you know.

Life's a journey,
make or mar !
I'm proud of you that you came so far.
I understand that,
you can't sleep at home at nights,
with tears falling out of your eyes.
But you've to fight alone,,
no one's gonna stay in your life,
and yes ! You've to struggle with your demons on sleepless nights.
Chin up ! Because you're strong my love !
We all learn to get up,
when we fall at first.
It's okay to be sad sometimes,
it's just a phase of life.
Things will get better,
and you'll be fine.
Now, smile !

Life's like a roller coaster ride.
Sp many ups and downs,
but we still choose to continue to enjoy.
And those who don't,
are cowards ? no !
They're tired and done with everything.
So, they choose to quit.
But this isn't how it is supposed to be.
We all have reasons to be here,
we just need to find them while we're riding.
Giving up is like end of the game,
it isn't the answer,
to all the questions, that we've been searching.
To pull out the sounds like demons from our heads.
Learn to fall and shine like a star,
no matter what happens,
don't let anyone dull your sparkle.

Life's like a roller coaster ride.
Sp many ups and downs,
but we still choose to continue to enjoy.
And those who don't,
are cowards ? no !
They're tired and done with everything.
So, they choose to quit.
But this isn't how it is supposed to be.
We all have reasons to be here,
we just need to find them while we're riding.
Giving up is like end of the game,
it isn't the answer,
to all the questions, that we've been searching.
To pull out the sounds like demons from our heads,
which are high pitched and negative,
effecting everything and making it all so hard,
that a body can't bear.
Asking to quit and one is falling apart but we need to,
learn to fall and shine like a star,
no matter what happens,
don't let anyone dull your spark.

"Why do you write" will always be a hard question to answer.
But I'll try to answer it.
And define my feelings to explain what it's like.
To pour our hearts out on a paper and cry through words everytime,
I write.

I write when I feel unheard,
because people around me only label my thoughts as "chatter".
I write because,
I don't like bothering people who love me,
no matter how much I'm hurting inside.
I write to let all the lava (made up of my thoughts) out,
and sometimes, to relive a few memories.
Or to express how my imagination can go wild and how I can bring life to scenarios in my head,
like it's actually happening in real life.

Whatever I write today,
I believe that someone out there will relate with my words.
And learn from the mistakes I've made.
And realize how beautiful life could be,
and find what they're missing out on.
And fight for what they deserve,
to get what they really like.

And one day, I'll be gone,
but my words will always remain alive.
And I'm sure it will matter,
and read by upcoming generations.
Maybe people won't remember my name,
but my words ill influence their minds.
And what else do I really need ?

It's a sweet addiction,
because you feel relieved.
And when I sit to write,
I don't really care about the fact that,
"writers don't earn enough".
Because I win people's heart.
It brings me happiness,
which can't be bought by money or any other materialistic things.