Not all scars can be seen ,
not all wounds can be healed .
You can never even imagine how a person ,
who's hurt actually feels .

Having a broken heart ,
is like , having something broken inside of you .
No one can see it ,
but deep down it kills you .

You never know the real story ,
behind something you get to see .
Things are different in reality ,
maybe not as beautiful as it seems .
Maybe it's more painful ,
and , full of sorrows and miseries .

Some people just keep everything to themselves ,
deal with their demons ,
and all the thoughts ,
in their mind .
Maybe they can't find proper words to define ,
or not the right person ,
who understands .

You'll learn the best lessons of your life ,
after you get hurt ,
after you experience different things ,
the ones you never thought you really need .

You'll get broken over some people and situations ,
but life goes on ,
what can you do ?
you've to deal !

Just don't give up on this life ,
because where are rainbows without a little rain ?
Get up ! Try harder !
Because isn't easy for anyone here .

And this isn't the end ,
as the best days of your life are waiting for you to come .
Go and prove yourself .
Because you can do this ,
and you don't need to stay broken .

Dear mom and dad ,
this is your daughter .
I wanted to say sorry ,
for acting rude sometimes .
I wish I could tell you ,
how hard things have been from a while .
I promise to try my best all the time ,
but can you just stop getting disappointed by my actions ?
Because you really need to admit that ,
your daughter is just a mess .
You deserve a better daughter than me ,
because you guys are amazing .
I feel like I'm a ******* ,
wasting your money and time .
I don't know if I could ever pay back everything you've done for me ,
yes ! yo treated me like a princess ,
but I'm sorry ,
I've lost my crown !

Everything that's going on around me ,
isn't what I want .
Things aren't going as planned ,
and all of this ***** ,
and ***** with my head .

I can't do this anymore ,
no ! not anymore !
I've got secrets ,
that makes me hold my breathe all the time .

It feels like I'm trapped ,
and this trap is my past ,
which is stopping me from moving forward .
There's something really wrong with me .

I don't know how to express ,
but keeping it all inside ,
hurts a lot sometimes .

Till now , I've just figured out one thing ,
for me , writing is a great release .
I don't know how to deal with all of this **** .
So , I put my feelings into my poetry .

To be honest , now ,I spend a lot of my time ,
playing with these words in my mind .
It don't feel the same anymore ,
no ! it's not easy but also , not that dark here ,
I think it's all getting better ,
because I can see the light .

I don't know if I've got my **** together or not ,
it's still heavy but I guess now I know how to carry it properly .

Well ! In between all of this ,
I've found a piece of me ,
and I guess that's the best thing .
I'm blessed to be here ,
and thankful for the person I'm becoming .

So , I noticed this guy ,
while coming back from school .
I think I've a crush on him ,
he's kinda cute !

I hope he's more brave than me ,
we can become friends maybe .
I searched for him everywhere ,
instagram , snapchat ,twitter and facebook .
But what's his name ?
Should I go and talk to him ?
um..no ! lame .

But what if he's waiting for me to talk to him ,
and I'm waiting for him to talk to me ?

Let's do this now !
Let's practice some lines to start a conversation .
Suddenly a notification appears on my phone ,
and , oh my god !
This guy texted me saying "hi" !

The butterflies in my stomach ,
fear in my head ,
and redness on my cheeks.

Conversations started ,
we talked for minutes ,
then hours ,
and then , all day long ,
texting , snapping ,every ******* thing .

Not just a friend but he became someone special to me.
And somewhere , we started feeling same things .
Because texts changed from "nothing much" to "thinking about you",
and , ''wassup" to "open the gate,I'm coming to pick you".

Things changed even more between us ,
I don't feel shy but ,
comfortable around him .
These vibes are keeping me alive .

He calls me "babygirl" when I'm sick ,
and , I don't know why he things that he's just a ******* .

He's the most caring person ,
I ever came across !
He's not like everyone else ,
and this , melts my heart .

Life's hard ,
but he held my hand tight in good and bad times .
I slapped him ,
he kissed me ,
and that's when I knew ,
he's the only one for me .

It's friday night ,
got a lot of **** to do ,
but I'm tired .
I feel like ,
I should write .
But do I've any time for myself ?
No !
Because I'm fighting for a degree ,
that I don't even want for myself .
It feels like , I'm drowning ,
or maybe , just something like ,
slowly dying .

Currently at a point of life ,
where I'm already dead inside .
But let's just pretend that we're fine ,
because nobody cares anyway .

So , tell me , how's life ?
Great ! Right ?
But we know ,
we both are lying .

I'm not suicidal ,
I'm just tired and numb and ,
I don't feel this pain and ,
I don't even know what it's like to be okay .

It's just like ,
I'm surviving but not living ,
physically present here but lost somewhere ,
around so many people but still alone ,
no peace or no one ,
feels like home .

It's just that ,
I try to escape from my mind  everyday .
Everyday just passes by and I wonder ,
what's wrong with me.
I try to find the answer ,
but unfortunately , I fail .

Dreams come true if you try your best.
But what if you mess things up ?
What if you fail ?
Is there any hope ? a chance ?
to make things right again .
Yes ! But only if you've the courage .

But what if you're anxious because of what happened every time you tried ?
What if you're scared this time ?
You're so much than all of this ,
don't you know that ?

I don't know.
I don't understand.
Because  when I was confident ,
I wasn't right in their eyes .
I was hated and treated in a way ,
I didn't like .

Am I on the wrong path ?
I don't know anymore.
Because when I did ,
did they let me decide ?
No ! My decision didn't matter ,
it didn't make any change .

So, who knows the correct road for me anyways ?
I'm lost and can't move further ,
or maybe , just stuck ,
because I can't even find my way back .

I don't know if I should just give up ,
or just give myself another chance .
But I know my words aren't valued here ,
so , I learned to write poetry .