I remember what you did to him, tried to do to me
I remember their faces, their names, the blood on my lapels
Learned a whole lot about what not to do
I cannot put into words how much I hate you
It churns inside me like a lamp that burns poison
A steel cage full of diesel smoke, salt water, and us
Look me in the eye
Rip it up infront of me again
Break all my stuff again
Send me to the edge
Push me up into the screaming corners of my discombobulated mind
Into the screaming wards
Into the pill locked dungeons
Into silence and solitude
Tried to turn me into you
Bad luck dumb ****

Blank lines of text please
Those will fill this void between ears
If one could wish

Dandelions growing out blind eye sockets
Lose clutches of speech crutched up concertina wire
High flyer, blind buyer, accepting all risk
The vessel plunges, then lists, blisters on fists
Two tone tracphone ******* in to many things
The possibilities sparkle and teem, little salt waves
Potassium possum plunging into your pressure points
Cold water anoints ****** brow, wonder how
we got here
Some things far, nothing near, not even a
wheel to steer
Can't even drink a beer anymore, be sick for
four days
It's funny, the ways these pills will make you
feel
Like tarnished, peeled, a blank soul ready to
steal
What's even real anymore, I pose that question
My perception is subjective and ruled by prescription
Chemical diction, dictated by milligram
Trying to learn to give a ****
again

Blacked out bean water, liquid lucidity
The city sees both sides of us, undressed emotion
We're constantly in motion, flung forward
Violent in our boredom, brooding over broken brooms
Our tombs will be made of limestone, come home prodigal son
Come undone around the seams and scream into the nothing
Life is blushing, in her youth, soon extracted, rotten tooth
Corpses in the kissing booth, braiding hair into a loose locket
Blue button birthed and flaunted, fell of for me to find
Loose thread keeps time over tea cups spilling
Come one, come willing, find my pulse in the dark
Watch the sparks pour out the window on a half smoked camel
****** well, devil dancing on dates and dark water

Scribbles on a yellow notepad, this ink won't last
Letting sweat dry from a long walk, half way there
I didn't notice it on my first passing, or my second
Third time is the charm they say, don't they?
Now I sit in this scummy drainage ditch, writing
A tree, growing from a pile of waste concrete
Dumped carelessly by rough, tired, hands
Green leaves adorn it, this oddity, only a sapling
Like a flower on the peak of Mount Everest
Or an ice cube in the middle of the Gobi
This is not so grand, this urban contradiction
Some day it will be as tall as me, maybe taller
Stretching its limbs, eroding its base
Praising sun rays through photosynthesis
Pushing down roots through man made constructions
Reclaiming the soil from which all life springs & returns

Lay on till the **** thing busts
down there by the
river
dam and all

Faceless in the world I'm facing today
another empty way to
cast my rod
and reel

Shining down in deep pools
perfect skipping rocks
only hands
remember

How did it end up like this

Something, small, silver
Turning in hand, of a child
Eyes wide, concussion, cry
Gap tooth ******
Sing slow, for me
Cane Cholla cufflinks,
barbwire scars
Chainsaw mars and disfigures
Sew it up with boiled
dental floss

Stones in my pocket, dirt on my face, in my lungs
I couldn't quite respond when you first smiled at me
Such pale eyes, you sat in your blue room
among wilted wildflowers & bamboo out the window
I felt so perfectly awkward, shy as a child
Reading in the corner, the silence spoke for us
You smile for wind chimes & laugh at the sunrise
Took my hands & traced your tattoos with bitten fingernails
Sparrows in black & white, held me there between collar bones, rising & falling
Held me when I slept, somehow our dreams were in step in the morning
I write this today, the bamboo long gone, your touch a memory
From a blue room, nothing more than paint chips on the floor
Perfect days wasted between your pale arms, somehow I
can't forget them

Tired static over old A.M. radios, voices like ghosts, slurring Slavic,
the faded label on a bottle of Stolichnaya
Burnt embers on the tip of shaking cigarettes, flicked into open space,
falling like snow flakes
Tired eyes half shut, dimly replaying a far away song behind flickering
eyelashes
No smiles, no laughs, no interruptions of voice or spirit to dislodge this sublime
apathy
Quotes from Mehmedinović on crumpled pieces of paper, jammed into pockets or
wallets
Blue bands around the arms so his comrades know who to shoot
at
The laughter of children, who have seen so much sorrow, to laugh is
to cry
These children become men, to pick up their guns, and join friends
as corpses at the base of Lapišnica
"This is the way it's always been, Sasha." hollow voices repeat, thin as
reeds, breathing the phrase many times a day
Overturned like a cup of bad coffee, lives spilled on the floor and left
to dry
Boot prints in the mud, one after another, someday they'll collect grass
and we'll all forget
Shining brass casings among the lilies, someday they'll be covered by weeds
and we'll all forget
The walls will be rebuilt, plaster spread, lives sewn together like ripped
clothing
Someday we’ll all forget, this blessing of
silence

Natural uncut light gray diamonds
Fancy gray diamonds
Fancy on the value is the bid range
Light, fancy, intense, vivid
Clear cut the soul bound forest, dark diamonds are cheap
Congolese slaughtered by the heap, life is cheap, wound channels deep
Machetes replace laws in Sierra Leone, eating the hearts of children martyrs
Love of life bottled in 101 Wild Turkey
It hurts to hurt, see? Question intensely, broken fence misery
Calories packed densely, hand pounded corn, hate and bitter scorn
Addicted to violence like internet ****, lay love and the dove is lone
Pigeon drop poetry on your shoulder, cloaca **** sober
Yeah, come on over, let's sip a brew, ride a train, act a fool
Mountains folded up like wool, horns, grab the bull
Close my eyes and act the fool, toil till I boil, sip water out of a skull
Cannibalistic Kabbalah, hash smoking chai wallah
We're all slumdogs here, drink water, **** clear
Whether far or near don't be a stranger my dear
Live life like a deer, let our robot guardians allow us to return to the garden
Lock away the pain, let it harden, more dangerous the the 1st MarDiv
Once it begins you can't stop it, this like keeps me honest
Maybe you don't only get one kid
Pick yourself from the mud pit
Hate it or love it
We must rise
Above
It

Vote my fist, the ship lists starboard

Nautical twist, birthed sideways

Harelip lisp, tender hearted doe-eye

Little boys cry for scraped knees

Come here, please, and tell me

about it

Troutin', somewhere upstream

Go low and then lean,

smiling and clean and soap on teeth

Somewhere beneath your heart,

a switch to restart,

the whole process.

I50 I50 blue, 2, 500
L80N green, 1 80
SG181 pink, 1 400
M177 white, 1 250

Some days just get to me
the way it works out
The cash I got don't go
so far
The cigarettes start tasting bad
again

The dogs on the floor again, it's 3 in the morning, sleep will
come soon, if I can choke down these pills
Toss and turn a hole in the sheets until I feel the mattress take off
like a tinder box
The cheese slid off the ******* *******, but here I am,
making it somehow

One of the same, coffee to blame
for the current state
of fast moving
double shot
slammed

Clammed up, my little shell
armor worn well
on tired emotion
born carelessly

3 o'clock spins off on the edge
of a bowl
burnt down
blue button

A little something, from
the deep end, eyeless,
propelled by hunger
black water under, above

The flight path of a dove
intercepted from above
bird of prey
breast open, splayed

Human endeavour all in vain
the totality is all the same
we're blinks of stories
nothing holds me
just subdues psychosis
not hopeless

Clutches of succulents in your breast pocket
Worn quietly, love lockets, jaw broken over the shoulder kiss
Loose tooth wiggling blood in your gum line chewing nicorette
Blow a bubble, blue button on your wrist
Gray mist pushes into lips and hits lung deep
Jump, leap, blind and hoping on a soft landing
Sanitizing cuts on your finger, linger on the last cigarette
Hope I have enough pocket change for the next pack

Twenty four hours or a second away
coming your way every day like headlights
tires screeching
beseeching higher power
get high for hours puffing flowers
possess the power to placebo self
all the wealth can't buy health if the hand held is low
whichever way we go there's an obstacle
we could make it out alive
anything is possible

Cacti blooming in the moonlight
Water lapping on shore
The smell of your hair
The touch I adore
Profound devastation
A leviathan of sorrow
Spit in my face
So I can feel your warmth once more

Days in the ward writing notes
On how to live life and not suffer
Tears on sterile bedsheets
Meditation with killers
Eyes bent on damnation

Run the comb through his hair
Feel his scalp give way
Dandruff on your fingernails
Eyes like burnt plastic
Time endless, elastic

Rye beer, rye bourbon
Drink until the days shift
Hours turn to seconds
Days to minutes
Your smile winding down
Hours in Puerto Rico
On a bench in the center of San Juan
Drinking beer and making love
Hold me once again in memory
For old times sake

The medication I'm on works apparently
I just blend in
Not as crazy as I seemed
A ******* in color
Find me please
Among the juniper and pine

Strange sounds in the night
Like pinpricks on your spine
Saw a shift in the reflections
A killer coming for me
I'm sure of it
Lock the doors
Load the guns
Shotguns up front
Knives in pocket
Come at me you *******
Out of the night and train screaming sirens miles away
Come at me
End my misery

Spend every day on razor edge
Feel the tingle of action
Destroy every inhibition
Fall into nothing

Hookers and tattoos
Destroy what's left
Burn it all down

Pour poison on the anthill, white stinking powder
Weeds sprout among flowers, days broken into hours
Leaving my cigarette butts all around town, every ashtray
Trying to find a way, forward or anywhere honestly
The circle I'm stuck in has me seeing meteor showers
Peeking out curtains in the dark, looking for something, cold and yearning
Discerning the turning point, dogs barking at shadows
Spitting at the moon to spite it, another hopeless battle
Lying blue pen draws nothing but black plastic stars, sparkling
Chasing Demeter through our parking lot planet, plastic bumper crop paradox

Thread getting thin now, feeling wind bite through
Thin plastic bones, bending in you, eyes crying gasoline
World turned into a cigarette, ashed out carelessly
All the lights gone blinking into darkness
Eyes locked into quiet circles, spinning softly towards the ground
Waiting on the dogs to stop barking, moon to go down

Shift left to center self
Dodge right and slight movement offsets imbalance
Center, focus on your breath

My friend, my comrade, come with me
صديقي، رفيقي، تأتي معي
sadiqi, rafiqi, tati m

To the seas of green, the land of coconuts
إلى البحار الخضراء، أرض جوز الهند
'iilaa albahhar alkhudara'i, 'ard jawz alhind

grab your arms, proclaim your freedom
انتزاع ذراعيك، وتعلن حريتك
aintizae dharaeik, watuelin huriyatak

Sawdust rains from your wrists
نشارة الخشب المطري من المعصمين
nshart alkhashab almitarii min almuesimin

                                            عليا
صديقي، رفيقي، تأتي معي
إلى البحار الخضراء، أرض جوز الهند
انتزاع ذراعيك، وتعلن حريتك
نشارة الخشب المطري من المعصمين

Earl Grey on cracked, parched, lips
Neanderthals with fused hips, no fontanelle
Homosapiens probably hunted them well
Sent a whole species to hell, inheritors
A sleep and a snore, feeling hunted
Remembering so many days blunted, lost
Another horseshoe toss, genocide and loss, us thinking meatbags
Reason says, empathy bags stolen at gunpoint, shoot anyway
Any day you want it you can find it
That I wanna die ****
Just make a choice

Enter/Exit Please Respect
94b patient confidentiality
Using 2R while on elevators
(rear door)

Today I helped save 00036800
water bottles going to waste, so behold
my contribution to Mother Nature

At this point
we've saved
00054262
bottles of water.
Plastic ***** sometimes

Mundane, molting in the shade, moth under black light
My heart grasps at dusty winged angels, hiding from a sunbeam
A glass empties itself down your throat, vile pitcher plant soul
Gripping and splitting my lost life asunder, efficient self destruction
Clear water corrupted, blue air bereft of blown wind
In this surrounding stillness I bury my head like a child
Attempt a portage around my grief, a bottles relief poured amber
Peeking through a promise of broken glass paths to hell

Information age,
disinformation age
Plastic pillaging vikings
Lightning striking,
same place twice
The snow started light,
Romans stumbling through the night,
dream of coming in from the storm
Boiler room pruno scored,
white crosses cross my heart
Steam cuts broom apart,
magic tricks in the dark
Nightmares of oily black smoke,
metal ladder, last legitimate hope,
lungs screaming, rungs scalding

Something short, sweet
crushed between teeth,
straight, white,
perfect
Raw cane sugar on
cracked molar
crown
The last sip of coffee is
always
sweetest
The heat is dying down
asphalt concrete town
what happens when
it all goes down
Where will we run?
is there any place under the sun
that is truly safe?
We're still breathing by the grace of chance, freelance,
dance like no one is watching
Listen to your heart stream,
fishing in the deep pool
of your veins
In shallow water with the cranes
watching Blue Heron
tumble upstream

Waiting on the inevitable, waiting in line for broth and bread
Mass bombing campaigns, civilian casualties casually cared less about
Please clean water, please rain, we're licking the rocks, eating our boots
The rats are at war again, tails tied together, consuming eachother
Nuclear holocaust, the very idea of vaporization, lives lingering as black shadows on a wall
.38 special, black and white, execution in the streets
They pumped their caves full of salt water, then diesel, then burnt them alive
Kamikazes were told to keep their eyes open all the way to impact
It makes me tired, all these pills, all these useless cigarettes
I want to go in the woods and dig a hole, never come out, grow my own rotten roots
Waiting our turn for things to fall apart, that'll be $19.95, delivered to your doorstep
The conch shell is shattering, a spattering of mud for the city on the hill
How many bullets, how many bombs, how many broken bodies
How long until we overcomes, how long until we see ourselves as a species, not a flag
A day in our dreams, currently it has wings, twists away in the breeze, good luck catching it

Chisel a poem out
for the hell of it
Scratch one out of sandy beach brush
watch the waves attempt
to destroy
you
fullstop.

Feel your lungs explode

Saw you for the last time 2 months ago
in a picture on my wall
and now I know
I will see you no more
pennies, dimes, happy rhymes
a nickle for a copper thought
brew me on home on damnation's
doorstep

Hold me digitally
One day we'll download eachother
Synchronized dreams, streams of consciousness
Blunted battery terminal breath
Everything is melting, I can taste the triangles

The sunflower of my eyes
Hold me down
And let me go
Only 5 letters to get to the center of my soul
Unlock it all
Let the wind blow all the leaves out
Find me someday
With all the brass fittings back in order
The smile medicated into straight line
The eye like terminal pinpoint
Comrade
The tomorrows we dreamed
Died a few nights ago
So back into the snow
And no God shall walk
with thee

Love lost stoner, quiet loner,
what are you reading just now?
Gentle mother, sister, brother,
help me learn to forgive one another
Blunder, come out from under
your rock
Wash up, put on some new
socks
Wash your gentle love
locks
Long eyelashes and rock, crooked
corrupted slop
Just taste a drop, tip of your
tongue
Exhale your lungs, we are all
one

Your heart is full of knots, tying up my thoughts
Tabbed tongue, seeing dots, making peace with the day I rot
Dripping spit and snot, different pills to break blood clots
Cliffside doves diving into ditches, falcons on the fences
Relentless, fingers of lightning brightening false hope
Fate the same as a short drop on a long rope

War is mental illness,
  there is no pill
   that can save us
    from ourselves.

Waste the way that it tastes as it rolls off the filter
tip
Light off the night as it riles up our lower lives like pure
reptile brains
Do moths fly towards lightning bugs like
candles?
Does a drug overdose vision of God
turn the addict into a messiah
Or is it just another try at seeing the light
for the first time right overcoming might
Like a sight for sore eyes sick to my stomach
every **** morning
Two Coors Lights and the rain is pouring
it's **** cold in this Texas town

Splinters shivering into cold graves,
  harden them with chemicals,
   garden out the minerals,
    rip out all the ventricles

Bleeding, tossed, time lost, gauze on  
  the spit covered carpet,
  gray shades in darkness,
   efficient, artless

Fingernails digging into forearms,
  smells like worms,
  inhabits urns,
    vomits

Split pea soup into the chicken coup,
  good green grass,
   makes eyes droop,
    on stoop, dazed

N.ever
A.rrive
P.ot
A.lways
L.ine
M.usic

S.tereo
T.ick
I.sland
C.ommon
K.ill
S.tomach

T.all
O.ver

K.ind
I.dea
D.ream
S.ilence­d

It's a hard thing when they want to skyline you
The ones you were meant to trust
Told to trust
They burnt you just for the fun of it
Scraped your down to a skin
Some lobotomized form of the former self
All the wealth in the world couldn't change it
Maybe that is the explanation for my derangement
Estrangement from reality, duality of sanity
The man in me says I need to do better
But I tow myself down, into the seaweed and mud
Into the rotting kelp sanctuaries of self produced failure
Pulling the dry pills off your tongue
Rubbing the morphine into your gums
Picking you up off the carpet, but you smiled
Smiled and looked me in the eye  
I will remember that always, how I carried you,
to the van in a white bag
Cutting your last lock of hair, walking down the street, weeping, please bring your children inside
They don't want to see this

Tuck an " I love you" note onto every headstone
How many notes would we write?
How many stories on this little rock,
each their own, each their own
Live free, roam, if able call home
the sky, high above inhibitions
Please, listen to that gentle mission from midsection upper left, beating
We're depleting our empathy, compounded chemicals mentally
Brilliantly the light shines in to me,
exposing a case of inability to choose
On a mission to lose, the swords what I choose, no clue what to do, grasping

The rain is falling at 94b
wind in the trees
drenched fleas
Quiet pleas for mercy
but it'll be a hearse, see?
Learn surrsh Fatiha, Naas, Falaq, Asr
we are all lost, sir
You, me, her, all of us
We have the stuff to do it
get thru it, black and blue it
Life is terrestrial, fluid,
you decide how you do it

Mountain
mass and monolith and more
Tree
I see your breathing hands
Sea
let me be at your center

Levee starting to crack
Plugging holes with our fingers
You can run or linger
The outcome is meager
any way you slice it
dice it
steamed basmati
rice it

How the Dandelions wave on your neat little grave,
in a ghost town in Colorado.
Gutted cabins rotting into dirt, little piles
of split wood memories.
A rusting stove where you cooked their meals,
among the pines, surrounded by snow.
Now that iron is thin as paper, rusted holes,
inhabited by birds nests.
Your little headstone says you died of pneumonia,
at the age of thirty seven.
Two children you had, by a worthless drunk man,
who could barely hold it together.
One son took up a job down on ******* Creek,
searching for fools gold.
He died a young mans life, no chance to grow old,
gone at nineteen, never came out of that hole.
Another worked the railroad, running down those tracks,
until he heard a nations call.
Didn't stand a chance, shelled in those trenches of France,
too much mustard gas, didn't last long.
They're buried here, in this little aspen grove,
forgotten in their repose.
But those Dandelions still dance & wave,
among those lonely graves.
The Dandelions still grow, despite it all.

We sat in shade, watched cirrus circle sun, robbing temporary
warmth
Hands through burlap & jute, clutching at photons illuminating
eyelashes
Cedar sap & crushed pine needles, fragrant on our hands, amber &
ambient
Saw your heart through crooked teeth, the same as
mine
A hundred pounds of saw grass hair & pliable
emotion
Speaking of a hitch through New Mexico,  a night on that lake,
where you convinced me you could
make clouds disappear
Speaking of a first kiss in a creek bed, that night we watched
Javelinas and Mule Deer
Fireworks by the river, smoke so thick we lost
each other
Our ugly handwriting, tucked into breast pockets, notes on
the back of old receipts
Empty bottle love, scattered & sporadic,
ours, ours, ours

A penny for your thoughts
A dime for the ashtray
Splayed open and trimmed
Needle like, pinned with
juniper bark and mesquite
needles

Solid shake
shimmy
break
raw steak
cut cube
fat doob
fast move
loose lane
turn triple
plus sixty
fix me
I'm on the
broken toy shelf
black lung health
all the wealth in the world
is worthless
park the car
walk away
another day
on a spinning
rock in space
slow your pace
smile and be mild
a child born of carbon
carving out the ***** margins
half a bottle
start feeling kind of heartless
be smart kid
bend
don't break
swim
don't sink

Be water, gathering
The scariest knot is a frayed one
Because it's 'fraid of nothing'
Slumpin', back alley blacktop lavalamp
Soft, damp, been raining I guess
The storm came out of the west
tracking sideways
Byways, through the backroad be gone in a second
Just depends on if you wreck it
Nothing can resurrect it, this feeble thing
Bodies gone limp and cold in your eyes
A frayed knot for a heart, playing clarinet over disembowelment
Chewing mint harder than cement
Walking semi circular circles in your garden
We are in, already, you just didn't notice
A lotus floats, a sailor boats, a frog throat explodes
Trying to chain together to many loads
Whole **** thing went off halfcocked
Teeth scraped into the bedrock, limestone kiss
Another flaw to add to a long list

AK47 stare from over there, child getting wild
out in the jungle getting ready to rumble
Cambodia, landmine
Intertwine Najib and Alif Lam Mim
say your prayers backwards
cannibal
Wild animal, ******* too
Destroying the world to build better tools
to ****
King of the anthill

How little
Are you
On me?

He was the main culprit in supplying RDX used in the 1993 Mumbai blasts. He was arrested in 1995 in Delhi and housed at the Sabarmati jail pending trial. In November 1997, Latif was shot dead by the police in Ahmedabad.[4] In 2014, one of Latif's sons contested the election of Samajwadi Party against Shanker Singh Vaghela, who was the Chief Minister when Latif was killed. Latif's other son had contested against Vaghela in 2009.[5]

Gales of hammers and grass

Eyes on the snackbox

Lackluster lovelocks

Highsocks

The way it feels to extinguish a candle

in the middle of the day

can you even

feel the

absence

The smoke trails come back like full sails and red skies for a sailors suprise

The child chokes and cries in a bombed out building in Hodeidah,

ribs like scars on her chest

Eyes bulging, flies circling, the vultures have come, the birds have

come to roost

A beleaguered cry, Spartans die at spear point, the blood of Tsirhc

anoints, reading prayers sideways

I am ripped open, seeing it go like this

I am torn asunder, the state of things

Find me in the pine, find me in the needles, buried nose deep

in dirt

Trying to find the cat tracks around the saplings

Oh pitiless people, harvesting strains of evil
Biological sequel, pulled weakly from ****** womb
Inhaling fumes, burning plastic, trash and hazmat
Kids covered in copper wire
Liar liar pants on fire, we're all hypocrites here
One day we'll look back, like deer, caught in the headlights
No chance, goodnight, get high like a kite, forget