I was never a little girl
You’re always a hundred years old
When you’re fighting and flighting
And freezing
It’s just so **** cold
My throat is raw
From begging you to love me
All I ever hear back
Is you raising your voice
To tell me to shut up
I am quiet now, daddy
You made me
But you can’t see me
Ironic
Since I’m the one haunted

It been three days
Three nights
I haven’t slept
More than an hour
At a time
Since I had that dream
About the man
With ice white hair

He is coming for me

When you touch my skin
I feel it so deeply
That the salt in my oceans
Separate from the water

If this is a dream
Truly, why are there so many hallways
I am forever wandering
In between the inbetween
It seems I will never reach the end
If there is an end to reach

My subconscious hangs in the atmosphere
Betting, pondering
If in time you will shed your layers
If your gentleness will slip
Like a mask
This would not be the first time
I perceive chaos for calmness
I prayed for it
Perhaps I should have begged
Whispered my barters to God
Leaned into his ears and pleaded
My pride will not be my downfall again
I am not too wise
I have played the fool before
I know the role well
I wrote it

You asked me
If I believed
In love, at first sight
I replied, eyes closed
I do not care much for the beginning
As long as there is love in the end

I never felt this much contained rage
When I was a child
It was much more terrible then
I let it bleed out into a jar
I am the place
Where the glass bottles sit now
Collecting dust
One by one