I want to feel good again, young
Summer skin
Clean linens
Hot dripping honey
I want to feel
Like I did with you
When we were children
In the garden
Green on the vine
Glass eyes to a blue sky
Not a cloud in sight

What will you masquerade as love
When your body speaks
What does she say

My heart is bargaining
With the gods for you
They raise the wage
It is no matter
I will pay the price

One day
I will look on your world
With great fondness
Too long
Have I held my breath
Against the terrible monotony of time
Marching this unforgiving carcass
Across the sand
I am tired
Weary
Aging
My youth has forsaken me
For the fading promise of tomorrow
She has born little fruit
I will go into the desert again
The sun will come to my skin
A lover that has been waiting
To kiss me with passion
To touch
Has it been forty years
Or only a moment
The figs will dry to anjeer
Or perhaps it is only a mirage
There is nothing tangible here
Beyond the sand
And she
Slips all too easily
Through my fingers

Can I ask you
To filter air gently
Through your lungs
Before you release it
Into my mouth
I will devour you one day
We will burn
Like the sun when she finally dies
Big, and bright, and beautiful
You have never felt the cold before
I would not believe ice existed
After I feel
The warmth of your touch
Burn through me
Peeling back my layers
Until we come to center
I’ve got you
Right where I want you
Under my skin
Burrow into my soul
She longs for you
Like a breath of fresh air

I have questions for you
Wondering where you keep
Small fireworks
That jump between our skin
When we are not one

You are not Fourth of July
You are not Christmas
Or birthdays or holiday
You are the first day after a long winter
When I turn my face to the sun
Remembering her warmth
Remembering there is comfort

Keep your name
It is gentle
The way it rolls off my tongue
Soft summer rain on glass
No one will say it like I do
But I will beg them to try

If you knew me once
You will never be lonely again
I am with you
I am part of you
The pieces of you in me
I will keep company
I will speak to them
I will cherish

When our souls danced
It was small magic
Big lights
Burning up the sky
I do not care
That one day
All the stars will fall to the earth
They will not burn as brightly as you and I

I hope
I am not
Perceiving chaos for calmness
Again