we are both lost
so comfortable with losing
now as the world spins
in the same direction as before
our paper ambitions
turn themselves inside out
passing like aging stars
burning across the sky
I know a brighter fire
burns in you
I placed it there
before we even thought
of the beginning of time
before amens whispered
on the backs of prayers
when heavens womb
was full of hope
before we gave up
all the glimmering shadows
that slipped through our souls
like water through a child's cupped hands
the ways of the world
brought me to this ledge
you will push me
to remind me of my myself
of my loving for flying
the promise of gravity
and the certainty of an end

Look at me when you say goodbye
Not the red-fire approaching end
This was just a dream
Now you are my memory of love

Here I am doing both
Living and writing
Healing and grieving
The multidimensional complexity that life holds
All wrapped up in the swirls if my palms
My body holds so much time
Lived out
Not every scar is sad
My white lines like the layers of a tree
You can see the growth

Do you remember the bygone seasons
When I was winter
When you were spring

Are you budding again
Like awakened trees
Are you opening your eyes
To sunlight melting the freeze

My words have gone asleep and away
We each buried our dead
Stacked the rocks
Mourned, grieved
I felt for you, maybe not the right things
I hope you are gentle on yourself again
We both know I could forgive anyone's harshness but my own

You paint me as the wild one
So you can be the calmest man in the room
Calling yourself natural sunshine
So I can be portrayed as gloom

We are quite dark in the middle
That is where I go

There are words I hold in
Drafts rooted in the stumps of my fingertips
That may never branch into trees