somewhere where they are aware
unforgetting

put aside
fields of clay

inside, you
surround weathered strides

who can I
float alone towards

devise a
pearl reject

still
holding

an ocean
not regressed

for nothing

all at once

The curse. Kiko had forgotten temporarily.  

Long ago, his family spoke of a curse.

From a lover's wound.
Some say she was born in the air.
Her parents were of the sky.
& unspoken infidelity led to her birth.
When she was born, she fell from her mother's womb tumbling down to the ground.
Her mother ripped life's cord from her belly, fighting her infant child as they fell.

The daughter found love & devoured it quickly.
A fury of passion & promises broke with secrets held.
Tinted with momentary happiness & dwellings of depression.
Everything love was supposed to be, she had. & everything the master told of her love she felt.

She ate her lover.
Devoured first his soul & ground his bones into powder.
Charred his handsome flesh & played with his muscles.
She pasted his muscles together with the soup of his bones.
His soul became her mask.
She loved her lover.
Guilt washed over for this new ******.
& thus born, with her carnage, a new identity.

She was void of Death. Death had not seen her born & was blind to her life.

Kiko saw.
With every passing moment he grew weaker from his conquests.
They were leaving behind galaxies.
Weight trailedhe & his lovers.
Unable to comprehend these galaxies,
unaware of their mechanisms
& how to dismantle them,
they scarred their eyes
& built bridges to others.
Taking stones from the past
& trying to build a future,
never searching,
never creating forms of their own.

in the heart of my chest,
the ink bleeds further
hands covered in the
words never spoken
my God

this
and only this
won't wipe off your
helping, guiding hands

leaving silhouettes of triumph.
casting shadows of torn hearts
mimicking the symptoms
managing the systems &
it's still not enough.
awaited silence.
the pursuit of distance.
almost there now.
devoid of all reason

hold me tight & slip away
into anger.

she wasn't there.
you told me,
she'd be there.
you scold me &
she's waiting
too much time,
Jesus.
she'll disappear,
Jesus.
It takes too much time.

The crowbars are counting on me to save.
You're leaving me angry now.
This bottle of bleach is going to take me low.
Lower. Lover.
Vanish into the holes of my skin.
Trapped below the scars you've caused.
Skin it all. Regrow with plant life.
The pharmacy disasters.
Tattoos on the throat.
Room enough to bloat.
one three five.
four five six.
The doctors are counting on me to live.
You've listened to my favorite songs.
Listening. Living.
Vanquished into the heart of my heart.
Protruding little by little now.
Soak it up. Renew with your tears.
Definitely now.
The hospital's procrastinators.
I'm keeping my word. But the rest you can have.

The blood behind me kisses my feet.
With all the time never spent.
With all the words never said.
I look to my side & kneel.
Before a God too cocky.
Too proud to talk to me.
& with that said I'm done.
I'm beginning to see the light.
& it's so very sickening.
My stomach in knots & I keel over.
Heel Boy.
Now isn't the time.
She never answered that question.
You never asked it. I tell myself
Streamlined seems fine.
Whatever is fastest to get me
out of here, away from fear.