b.** she’s in love with kierkegaard, i borrowed a quote by him
about poets...
i was going to end the poem with sarcasm...
the poem got deleted without being saved...
now to remember:
the missing diacritic in english of phoneticism
gives chaos to how english is punctuated:
bewildering that there are two types of quotation in english
rather than the polish / joycean irish
use of quote / dialogue,
in the latter instances we have the use of thye hyphen,
in the latter
the problem of what freedom of speech invokes:
how was it said if it wasn’t said?
  “      “    “   “   “  “      “        “    at all?
the english language has moved away from the classical
sense of the ditto...
it has moved into the confusing territory aking to its excessive spelling:
- i said you could have said it better.
- you thought that prior though?
- i did indeed.
this is the polish / joycean example of how dialogues flow.
but in english there’s a disparity of the usage of the dialogue “brackets”
that are “ “ and ‘ ‘...
in philosophy the ditto brackets are ambiguity stressors...
the mis-understood words in servitude of specified usages...
but there’s no contentment in applying
such notation to stress ambiguity when the mathematical
symbol modelling is already apparent - approximately:
i.e. instead of noting the ambiguity of meaning of a word like
truth via “truth” is no better than the notation ~truth:
since the former only revels in the negation of the meaning of the word
truth... that there’s a meaning & and an ambiguity of using such a word...
rather than the mathematical observance that there is an approximate truth:
the one that’s experienced / the one that’s related to / the one that’s
neither as a mere historical interpretation.
i detest being tested by a diety in the platonic sense...
i know what i'm writing about...
i can remember it and explain it - but of course poetry's
verbiose and sometimes ivory extravagence is self-explanatory,
poets know what metaphors are...
poets know what imagery is... but i hardly expect
there's a need to itemise which words fit the terminology
of identification for an essay... there would be
not creative fluidity if that was the sole intention behind poetry.

The verbiose virtuoso of verse
clutters the page with poetic pap,
penning endless meandering murk
that amounts to a pile of crap.

compared to the circumcised
i'm a docile creature...
so many circumcised jihadis,
i almost forget there's
a snippet of them missing...
     the bit where you *******
without complaint
         and the part where
third parties, sort of:
       do away with mirroring
scalping...
   so much for Jesus'
                     stomping on
gentile hands prior to
                     marketing the sign
of the cross...
       this little piggy arithmetic
among lepers...
     and a loose tooth smile...
plop...
          the sound made with
gangrene gums into
the porcelain basin of a chinese
toilet, affair...
    my my, the punctuation
dynamism, further explored,
as if: synonym of stuttering...
     why is it though,
rolling sweet tobacco,
   i have the scent of freahly
scratched cucumbers on
my tips and between
fingernail trenches?
        late spring and rolling
tobacco infuriates me with
a perfume of cucumbers...
what's missing is
white vinegar, a pinch of
sugar, salt, pepper,
Charlotte's odour,
           and sour cream...
         2 months in a city worth
60,000 souls...
           reentering the behemoth
of London and what's
"london" within the M25 criterium
and...
         ****! gone...
                  a drop in the water...
fame and the unflinching
status quo of the numbers...
      fame as: a necessary invested
in P.R. motif...
      and the french, generally eat
letters,
    rigid slavic syllables blocked
my learning of the ***** ******...
  bouquet...
    bucket...
        or, rather: boo-kay...
                    french cannibalise
and no ******* omelette will
serve me an alternative op.
      to not, masquarade the said
acronym to a shift...
               and to mind:
americans and their acronym
exclusions...
     stemming from u.s.a.,
        off a missing of...
   elsewhere the "acronyms"
or, more pignant the resorting
to "chance"
                 p.s. ref.
    points, acronymised:
             (cognitive crossword,
imitating free reign search:
  all algorithm is ronin,
bouncy maxim, just shy
of aphorism...)
                   a memorable nostalgia...
shy of joy...
          not antidote... no...
not the antithesis of...
    ah!
                anecdote!
    what was i thinking of prior?
        tailing off into a cul de sac
and harvesting
the impermament scoff
that is time... given the source
of: hardly a subjective
     "deviation" of a timeless
normative...
                mortality...
sacrificial lamb adrift on
the altar of morality...
                 now i know why i write
poetry...
           i can hardly settle
for solving crosswords...
              cucumber perfume
having rolled tobacco?
            imitating alzheimer's
     in telegraphic broken-
            language?
         lost the patience
to paint... took a photograph?
    and so:
    because the fundamental
antithesis of painting,
that is photography,
                is to make foundation,
in verbiose presentation...
    the opportune moment
was itself-revealing,
           somehow,
accommodating a "self"
          make a frozen puncture of...
photography per se, yes...
  but with all the verbiose
attachments to be: excused...
         hardly necessary...
           because what came from
the frustration of
painters, anti-photography...
if not: splashing paint on
a canvas?
   jackson ******* was
a photographer...
                     not a painter...
albeit,
    in a more lower reminder
of form of the observable
spectrum...
          a photograph worth
a painting but worth
more a thought,
   than what the crude eye
would deem digestably
orthodox, with
comparison.

cultural darwinism:

too much time spent
looking through
the ****
of a chimpanzee
expecting to roar
like a lion...
and now enough time
spent looking
through the ****
of a homosexual
looking for
a higher mind
  of heterosexual
male's
worth of an imploded
fwench kissing
marathon
of...
   what didn't satiate
the body,
sure as hell made
up for in a thai
circus of convo.

i: unit of one...
am but the wishful
attention span
of: the crux of algebra:
verbiose,
  and... more verbiose...

cabbage +2 + 2 'n' 1 kids...
mother
             sgt. pepper's
and...
that collage...
like a bearded man
doing an American Pie
Ostreicher...

me? my fetish with
the...
polish-lithuanian
charge of the winged
hussars...
against the Cossack
rebellion...

hardly a lawd tennyson...
but a great
sienkiewicz novel
to: mind you what
and what not...

the middle-Asian
fetish for cabbage...
like mine:
the *******'re going
to do with all that turmeric
and chilli, and ginger,
garlic... and?
stink with a stink's waaa'th
w'ah?

the pride the boot
and then...
expecting some
côte d'ivoire
brute...

           and i'm to be:
the napkins provider...
i, the:
       curtain fling -
à la flop...
      
  ***. fetish for western
cuck...

             like ski jumping...
noriaki kasai...
and...
what happens in
sapporo:
stays in sapporo:

while in ****-yo:

          rabu hoteru:
  súkī súkī: thai goose:
guess lucky lucky...

suave... baige 'n' all...

indentations: loci: print...

that movie!
no!
not ninja scroll!
not tenchu
or ten-times-achoo!

  funny... not howl's
moving / floating /
whatever the castle did...

or spirited away...
that... manga *****...

shingles for a schmile...
like: teeth...
but less ordered in:
the arithmetic of...
buck-tooth
kicked out...

   that ******* manga
***** though!

         what was it?!

(20 minute interlude):

ah!

               urotsukidoji!
shin-towing
a pajama in bamboo
strict-tease...
via: dojo-open:
**** flower
    alias kimono...

sigh / aye / sigh / aye /
soogh-too'ji!
Shanghai express...

but i whittle
Pole'lock's breath
of the anglican
might but might not add:

         pale Franckian
'aving imported
the: what the Moroccan
sheikh didn't
deem "necessary"
to export...

           but i'm on
the receiving end:
tell ******* coco
what the copper turban
said...
try that...
ain't no *******
cul de sac sushi
palace wish where
whatever comes
after, come prior to:
"a" from...

world salad from now
on...
    it needs to be
IKEA literal...
no nuance...
   no... just literal:
give me the verbs
and...
  and no 'uance
considering 'ouns...

me?
   i like the idea of
the English language
having the capacity to
entertain more requisites
of letters 'come surds...
  
      cockney playing
conckers...
    C C, K K...
            either cold or:
kindled spirit:
yo ** ** and
a fidgeting compass
originating in Sigh-bear-ah...

cold Solomon:
a cod's whallop...

in summary:
i'd still prefer the tongue
of a gay
to a body of a woman
should it be suggested
i pass the hour in:
"prevailing"
to consecrate myself
upon the altar of
a continuum;

but hey...
that's life...

     her life...
i no chimpanzee shrunk
worth a fight
into her dynamo
of the Mars: ahoy!
if she...
       toying mantis...
           mother... tarantula.

everyone can agree on the fact that scholasticism
existed in medieval Europe...
i'm not even going to tackle the dichotomy
of scholasticism "vs." humanism...
but... what is apparent... from what i've heard
and seen...
scholasticism wasn't replaced by humanism...
but... pop-psychology...
i.e. the schematic-ism of man...
        Oxford dictionary has yet to approve the term:
schematicism...
   from the "holy trinity" of Freud -
the father the ego
   the son the superego
the holy spirit the id... blah blah, blah, blah...
the fragmented man in search for...
for me... less of a "soul" and more of
   the sigma... the totality of what is man...
   such the fragmentation of man...
it's almost impossible to find the right sort
of geography one can orientate oneself
around...
i find man too fragmented... too splintered...
i am sure of this...
scholasticism has been replaced with
post-humanism of schematicism....
we have the supposed schematic of man...
but... this ******* genie is not going
back into his lamp...
unless he is put back together is some
jumble, some, dissection freak-show...
    why didn't i pursue a career in chemistry:
even though i studied the art (science)
until i was 21... i didn't want to be the rat
in a laboratory...
           the hamster on the wheel...
apart from the experiment that took almost
a week... synthesising esters...
the best experiment i ever conducted was
in high school... synthesising polyesters...
the event horizon of pinching plastic akin to
how you can't mix oil with water...
how oil is a layer a "tier" above the water...
this is where i am...
   schematicism... i find man trapped...
choked by pop-psychology...
putting himself back together like some...
Frankenstein's monster...
              it's painful to watch, to hear...
it lies so heavy on my heart that...
it almost makes sense to: xiao xin...
   small heart... careful heart...
                literal ******* complimentary...
overt complications / nuances of Chinese
ideograms like i have a ******* spare
day to nuance emoticons, for, ****'s, sake!
yes, because Latin script was not destroyed
by the Hebrew deity like cuneiform
or the hieroglyphs... only that in Chinese
the X could be / ought to be written as...
                                                                      Ź...
******* lemon ******* paper dragons...
squint at my ******* sour: ooh... ooh...
gist gist: ******* juicy plum Hoisin duck
sauce! mmm... ******* yummy!
get my ******* cotton spindle threads from
Sri Lanka or Bangladesh...
Europe is the existential ferment of
existential values... as useless as a fork when
you're presented with a bowl of soup!
slurp up, and hope for the soup to be clear
and have some vermicelli to boot!
but... how else to look at public conversation?
if once upon a time in medieval Europe
there was a trend for scholasticism...
that was replaced with humanism,
romanticism, existentialism...
no wonder... post-humanism...
a return to scholasticism: schematic-ism...
i should reword it as:
a day in the life of an evolutionary
psychologist...
    but, but i thought the soul does not
exist? what logic, what soul?
since, ergo, there's no god?
           somehow the Copernican revolution
could back-peddle... return to the background...
i'm with Nietzsche in my argument
against Darwinism...
   Darwinism has mishandled ontology
beyond comparison...
it hasn't even elevated our attention to detail
/ increased our fascination with the natural world...
with... mantises... with spiders...
i'd love to rid myself of my stupid
arachnophobia... in all honesty? i love spiders...
******* super freaks...
but i think i'm more fascinated with
frogs and earthworms...
   i'd love to take a selfie with a freshly shat out
tapeworm... no... i'm not scared of spiders...
just... there's never a spider
the size of a 10kg Maine **** cat when
you need one to scuttle alongside you
on a leash... ****** reality...
i just don't get it...
               if i was once diagnosed as schizoid...
for being: bilingual...
sorry... this world doesn't want me to make
sense of it... i tried... supposedly "sane" people
are not making sense any-more...
sure... i was diagnosed as X...
but... this X is sort of... it sort of has become
a backstage: ooh: oh! ****'s about to become
acquainted with the fan... time for proper ****** blitz...
i mean: i could understand Soviet style
leftism... empire solid: cheap metal...
loads of nukes... but... western style leftism
is a ******* joke-prop...
   flimsy hair-dye brigade...
and i do come from a former satellite state
of the soviet union... the Czechs still hate the Polacks
thinking that it was Polacks that moved
in the tanks into Prague in 1968... maybe...
it was a Warsaw Pact brigade...
  whatever...
                      i still have a fetish for:
die Deutsche-Zunge...
             but see... the Copernican perspective...
you can sort of ignore... great...
   we're on a pebble in an ocean of nothingness...
nothing changes...
but... Darwinism? has been hijacked...
it's... insufferable... it's so in your ******* face...
like... feminism... Darwinism = feminism...
next you'll hear: stoic darwinism... like you might hear:
cynic feminism...
horseradish load of rubbed-off *******
*******!
          i get it! i get it! stop, rubbing, it, in!
that's it... the ******* universal explanation...
like Jesus on the ******* Cross
Herr Darwin with his space in **** similis...
odd... the ancient people had knowledge
of the existence of the apes...
but... hmm... how much of a comparison is necessary?
when you start to look beyond it...
say: well... that's ugly... that's animal...
let's do something better... let's conjure the beautiful!
these days? good luck with that!
but like Nietzsche i abhor Darwinism...
when it comes to Darwinism i'm a *******
Mary Shelley advocate... Darwin throws me a monkey...
Mary throws me Frankenstein...
i'm siding with the Frankenstein...
what the hell has changed since the geocentric model
became the heliocentric model?
from the very public interactions:
we've managed to reach the "dark side of the moon"
perspective... no... this world is...
lunacentric... everyone's ******* cuckoo...
and i will, ******* die on this little hill...
with firm affirmations and said convictions...
because... why not?
but that's good... i can scribble these little "protests"
while pretending to be the... cool... collected
normie at work... and i am just that...
but inside... i'm ******* boiling...
i'm screaming... i'm Atlas wrestling with Prometheus...
but that's also good...
   because: i'm jealous...
of whom? Charles Olson... the Maximus poems...
call me stupid but... i'm jealous of those poems...
no... i could never be jealous of
ol' Ezra... hmm... King David... oh yeah: him...
to have been the man to have written the psalms...
de profundis...
     let's face it... i couldn't be jealous of king Solomon...
brothel owner...
             but with a man like Day-vid...
   to be so absorbed in music...
               my kind of man...
                  such a beautiful man...
          as sang about via Leonard Cohen in Hallelujah...
and yes... Jeff Buckley did it better...
such the glorious spectacle of the most
absorbing sort of pain... you actually want
to feel his pain... trans-empathetic....
to hell with your trans-sexuality confusions...
    oh to feel this similar... to sigh like Jeff sighed...
this hidden-rot-of-anger in me at the political
language that's current in England...
   this... ****-fist-fake-leftoid pseudo-Soviet imitations
with no grounds in reality!
blah! blah!
                    ******* more: blah! blah!
pink-hair-dye frigid pseudo-sociopathic virgins...
or is that sociopathic pseudo-virgins?!
still ******* frigid... not good luck either left
or right when trying to shoot a load...
          i'm 35 and already tired of life...
libido insomnia... war-esque perpetuated: also
insomnia... but... clearly, apparently:
no ******* war... not the sort of wars one might
conjure when having to conscript civilians...
back-of-the-head sort of "wars"...
              shape-shifting chess... the horses ate too many
rotting apples... became drunk... stumbled...
then had a Picasso diarrhoea session of...
E-HA! let's paint! oh no... this world doesn't bother me...
it's just a massive ******* joke to me...
it's counter intuitive...
if... i were placed... in a more primitive society...
there wouldn't be a talk of a Bernie Ecclestone...
     there wouldn't be a Rod Steward...
            believe me... if Darwinism was to be done...
proper... men like me...
we wouldn't be restricted from utilising our...
naturally gifted capacities... of... wrath-thirst...
how we must have... nuanced it... hid it...
                oh... but those feminists and their:
patriarchal construct arguments...
       sure... it's only safe... when you have a boxing match...
but... i know it: there's a terrible beast sleeping
in me... i know it... when i... sometimes relax...
drinking my white wine aphrodisiac...
when having two sessions of exercise...
and then... ******* the brains out of a Turkish
******* in a brothel...
but... no no no... if Darwinism was true...
               i could follow a Longshanks... an Edward...
we're doing counter intuitive things...
Napoleon? and then, what? ******?!
the latter i can understand as a sophist / rhetorician...
whatever...
           if i were to exercise my natural rights...
if i were to exercise my natural rights...
i wouldn't have to deal with these *******'s worth
of social constructs of appeasing the time-wasting weaklings!
if i were returned to my natural state...
rather than these... polite... politeness-titillating:
Christian *******'s worth of timidity...
i hate it...
                                         everything about this world
is unnatural, counter-intuitive, overtly-feminine,
weak, pardonable, fake...
horror-stricken, worth demanding more of,
too ******* "artistic"...
       smelling of a mingling of acid and rotten eggs...
in a world where society delves into
the appreciation of staged violence...
but abhors actual violence...
    this phobia stricken conglomerate of weaklings...
if Darwinism was done: right and proper...
no... you wouldn't have these sordid discrepancies...
if nature had its sway...
          if only nature: had its sway...
and not the mind of man...
              the feminist angle: of the social construct
of patriarchy: would be the least of your worries...
i'm lethargic... borne from this...
hideous weakness of salvation born from
a suffering... never to be celebrated from
the advent of vitality that was once glorified in
the years B.C.
           Darwinism never promised anything,
it just hijacked the strength and overturned it
with psychologism - bogus explanations of
CUCKS! it ****** the vitality i was originally equipped
with! and what did it do?
the Star of David inversion...
what was once on top, singular...
now became a flattened plateau of a "democracy"...
i can't believe this anglophone *******...
Ezra rallied against usury...
   me? i'll rally against Darwinism...
a man of my stature should not have to bow
before someone biologically inferior
to him... naturally! naturally this shouldn't happen!
but it is... pray: send you earthquakes,
tornados, all the elemental proofs!
   but i bow, regardless...
                  with as much... hatred as can be
easily disguised... with more animosity than
hatred... and that's still: the sort that can be best
hidden... because... society expects me to do so...
but... should i ask nature...
oh... oh... nature would have a really troubling counter
narrative: that it would allow me
to exercise! ******* dim-wits, Dickensian *******
dim-wits... happily married to exercising the play
of cricket... ****-wits... English-****-wits;
such....eagerness...
the weak shall inherit the earth...
     and make it... a shored stone outside the realm
of the fertile grounding...
                if the vitality in our midst is not
protected... then... SUFFER!
you ******* schmucks! your ******* wonderbra
elect gimmicks!
*******: die! be: born of death!
             you've had your say / your sway:
my turn!
                ***** with anvil!
               you ******* pederasts!
                    **** glory! i just want to love
a woman... but... seeing clearly...
you people are making finding a woman...
a lot more difficult! ****-jobs of the dodo-project!
i'm retiring from outright verbiose
momentum... that's it...
                      i stroke my beard...
i cushion a feels for ****** of a woman...
the end... that's the *******: the end...
                          time's a tired type.