Left on the side of the road,
Nowhere to go,
I COULD HAVE DIED.
I swear you wanted me to.
A blow to the face,
A broken nose,
A black eye,
An apology.
A sign of respect.
That was the day I realized you loved me.
When you could have killed me but stopped.
A sign of respect.

I always remember that day not for you trying to end my life but for you deciding not to.
I thanked you.

Four months later and we are back at it again.
I am driving,
You,
Yelling.
I thank god this time and not you. I thank him that I am the one driving and in control. Not you.  
But even in full power,
You find a way to steal my freedom and obtain total dominance.
You never give up in wanting me to give up,
But you do eventually leave.
Slowly.
First you untack your safety net,
And then you gave in with your want for cold blood ******.
I loved those parts of you.
Signs of respect.

The day you really did leave,
Safety net and all,
I watched you out my window,
Thanking you under my breath.
Your last act of sin still leaves a mark around my neck.
I thank god again. Not you.
I thank him that the seat belt locked in my 1993 Buick.
A sign of respect.
A letter to my first car.