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Anna Jan 2022
Do you think the streets of Thamel misses us?
Your feet aching and my makeup smudged
Hands gripping, not intertwined
It's too late to go home

Your presence next to me
Let's look at the glowing star stickers on your ceiling
Pretend that the galaxy was here and that the universe cared about us
And that we knew where home was

I couldn't look past you
Your eyes shined through city lights
You always felt like cold nights
And after all this time, I didn't know you past the smoke rings and alcohol glass shards

Your heavyweight on to me
too much to carry or push off
There was something addicting about your hands wrapped around my wrist
Your nails digging into my skin
Something sickeningly satisfying about you needing me

You talked about you not wanting to be your father and
Me fearing to be my mother
But once all bandages came off
I never realized how much I didn't recognize you

I never realized how much I was afraid of healing
Cause healing meant fresh skin growing over your cuts on my body
And I'm afraid where I'll be in my next
journey
I'm afraid that the found family and soulmates in my books weren't true
I'm afraid of the person I will be without you

The truth is I don't know who I am without your tear strains on my tshirt
And I don't know who I am without me waking you up at 3am
Without you knocking the wind out of me with your embrace
Without my cold ****** feet running towards you

And you?

You already wrote another novel without me, starting from chapter 1
And I now know I was your prologue, not your ending
I'm not scared to go the streets again because I might see you
I'm scared because I know the ghost of us still lingers there

And when you go back to the streets of Thamel
Please don't think of me.
PS May 2014
somewhere in corner
Like roses waiting for dew
I wait for your warmth
Soaked in rain
Your memories run down my spine
(Morning Nostalgia)

Pashupatinath temple*
The rain drops on the golden roof
the mountain breeze to pacify my soul
The life can be beautiful
When serenity surrounds to bind us
(Afternoon Divinity)

Thamel
Crying strings, the music of life
White smoke in air
The sound of cheers
Wish the time stopped here
(Evening Bliss)
Storm May 2014
On the highway
They’re sitting down and rolling joints
Contemplating
If it was freedom
When she pierced the muscles
Struggling beneath her frail bones.
They all draw wings on the wall behind the road and
Some say about her rings,
That in a corner in Thamel
Scientific instruments in a white room replicate force
(And it doesn’t hurt so much anymore)
On the highway
The times before rolling joints
She rubbed elbows.
***** in the mud like a pig.
But the tourists still took pictures of her snout, and called it
“Cute.”
When that mother came into her room
She was sleeping with a pout on her face.
Until the highway men drawing wings on the high wall
“Woke” her up.
(The first day, she thought she was still rubbing elbows)
Until the marks came on hers and bled
But not on the other side as well.
Almost simultaneously with the gypsy’s work Aureliano had been reading
On wires metamorphosis-ed into the air
(Brought the world to her feet, or the other way round)
And she knew it must have been a high because
The ground was cold.
And all above she saw the skies cheat
Right before they pressed in on your lungs
Leaking smoke
(When you thought you were made of blood)
Yet before, in your head you’ve smashed the universe
And eaten its brains for lunch – they are green.
Before it gulped her down
In a go.
So you know
How drawing wings on the wall
Has gotten no one nowhere except
Talking about that girl
Who pierced the skin under her bones
In Thamel.

Storm
5.14.014

— The End —