Do you think the streets of Thamel misses us?
Your feet aching and my makeup smudged
Hands gripping, not intertwined
It's too late to go home

Your presence next to me
Let's look at the glowing star stickers on your ceiling
Pretend that the galaxy was here and that the universe cared about us
And that we knew where home was

I couldn't look past you
Your eyes shined through city lights
You always felt like cold nights
And after all this time, I didn't know you past the smoke rings and alcohol glass shards

Your heavyweight on to me
too much to carry or push off
There was something addicting about your hands wrapped around my wrist
Your nails digging into my skin
Something sickeningly satisfying about you needing me

You talked about you not wanting to be your father and
Me fearing to be my mother
But once all bandages came off
I never realized how much I didn't recognize you

I never realized how much I was afraid of healing
Cause healing meant fresh skin growing over your cuts on my body
And I'm afraid where I'll be in my next
journey
I'm afraid that the found family and soulmates in my books weren't true
I'm afraid of the person I will be without you

The truth is I don't know who I am without your tear strains on my tshirt
And I don't know who I am without me waking you up at 3am
Without you knocking the wind out of me with your embrace
Without my cold ****** feet running towards you

And you?

You already wrote another novel without me, starting from chapter 1
And I now know I was your prologue, not your ending
I'm not scared to go the streets again because I might see you
I'm scared because I know the ghost of us still lingers there

And when you go back to the streets of Thamel
Please don't think of me.