I’ve been observing your camaraderie with ladies who are not me, and I have to say it makes my heart stop for many minutes at a time and I fear my life is hanging on an edge. Please save me.

The last time I kissed you, you smelled like smoke and cologne and my system is burning like a city on fire, everytime you say I love you because your eyes turn somewhere far beyond the atmosphere we’re breathing in, almost as if those three little words were meant for somebody else.

When you said those words to me, your eyes were always far off, looking into the distance, like it was all a lie, and me being gullible, I believed it. For I loved you so as I trusted you.

You lean in and your lips kiss me good night, but all I can taste is good bye, good bye. I want to be your good morning. I want to wake up next to you with your heart handcuffed to my chest and I want you to feel the burn, the fire that creates sparks in my veins, every time we hold hands. I want to be the one, sorry, I want to be the only one that gives you a home in the valleys of my collarbones.

I hope that you would stay in this home I’ve built, and lie with me for every night after. Stay and don’t ever leave. You have no idea how I shiver and how my body shakes with epileptic spasms coupled with screaming and I didn’t think I would survive all that. Every time you leave, you leave a super massive black hole in my chest and it aches so horribly that I can’t even stand. Don’t leave.

I’ve been observing your camaraderie with ladies who are not me, I hope one day, you’ll come back to your senses and observe that despite every downside, I will always look at you as once in a lifetime opportunity, that this love, our love, my love for you will always be constant and that I don’t need camaraderie in my vocabulary, when I already have love written on the corners of your mouth.



-x.o & t.m (@lunarlullubies & @strawfaerie)

You have to understand that you have me writing run on sentences on the palms of my hands I miss you I miss you I miss you. I can almost feel your exhales travel around my neck and they’re choking me, and I’m suffocating for your hands on my waist do you have any idea on how much I miss you?

And every wall of my room just seems to contain your face on them – or is it just me missing you? You run through every nerve in my mind, breaking connections and leaving me unable to breathe every time you do. Why do you make yourself a broken memory?

Why do you make me broken? You could rip my chest open and find your initials written on the sides of my beaten up heart and it is screaming your name, almost like an out of tune sonnet but I still think it’s beautiful anyway that it’s learned to memorize the way your full name is pronounced even after the countless time you’ve turned your back on me and walked away.

I’d think of your name backwards and horizontally while it floats around in the abyss in my head, and I’m struggling to close the home I made deep inside the safety of my ribcage, just for you.

Just for you. For you. You, I would bleed myself alive, just for you - to understand that my system is made out of the music in your voice and the rhythm of your heartbeat. I will make you understand that this universe is not simply a competition of who makes it out alive, but a game of living and loving and loving again. Do you have any idea about how much I love you? Do you have any idea how much I fall on my knees every night, begging a god that one day you’ll wake up and love me like I love you? I want to be the air, your lungs take in every morning as a reminder that every day is a new day to kiss the sun a good morning and an advanced good night.

You have no idea how I long to be the sunlight that touches your skin when you draw the blinds and let the morn shine in. I long to have my arms wrapped around you like how they tell you to hug a tree when you are lost and this Is how I am, lost and you are what I need to find myself again.

-x.o & t.m (@lunarlullubies & @strawfaerie)