I can’t wake them.
I can’t wake them because if I do
Then I’ll only be punished worse.
If I let them, anyone, see me like this,
Then I will lose any chance of hope
I might have had left.

I don’t want to lose them because,
Even if they are the ones hurting me,
I can’t make it on my own.
I don’t want to be alone.

These bruises and scars are nothing
Compared to what little of a heart
I started with. So I scream.
I scream inside my head letting all the
Pain and frustration and anger push at my skull.

And I want to break.
I want to just let it all go and loose my self,
But I can’t have what I want.
Cause if I do then what would I be after that?

Sshhhhhh,
Do you hear them?
I can’t wake them.
I can’t wake them because if I do
Then I’ll only be punished worse.
If I do, then they will leave me
And I can't live without the pain
It's the only thing that reminds me
I’m still alive

When the cage has no bars, what do you rattle?
I grab my chest, something is pounding inside!
Maybe I'm the cage...
I'm a walking, talking penitentiary.
My uniform is black, my prisoner is blue,
these words that I'm writing, he's writing to you!
Yet I'm an accomplice because I too am a prisoner,
I build walls and break them down hoping the symbolism will free me.
I traversed the world searching for a way out, my only hope is the sky,
so I created all of you to help me fly.
I just lied, didn't I? That's what you'd wish.
Baby, you've got no class if you're not the main dish.
A car or a plane or a train or a ship.
You can go anywhere you want but you can't leave this "planet"... sh#$!
Where do you want to go, J? You barely leave your house.
"Shh, I need an excuse to hate my life!"
You don't need to hate you, that's a job for your ex-wife...
"Sshhhhhh."

Freshly bereft of his final things
Trinkets which he had personally stitched
A little to tightly
to the tender part of innocent
Confused heart
and now .............like an aluminum bat
On a frigid day miles away from anything he knew
On the cusp of darkness and noway
To get back home
The pinch hitter slips in out of a shadow
Grinning evil to elbow and lets go wit a peach i tells ya
Oooh Charlie .......he got all of that one!
Man you aint kidden Mr Brown thats a grand slam......right to the back of his knees .
Involuntary functioning like a pythons squeeze expelled more breath
Than his lungs could ever hope to hold
The walls of which are sticky
Pressed to firmly are stuck ..........
He feels even more pathetic than he looks ..........all alone.     And its cold
I know its already been implied  silly
Im just tryin to drive that point home
Kneeling .........clothes way to big
Not wanting to come to terms with
His new lable
a vagabond all his good intentions
Vaporised in an instant
The wells of his eyes jutted out like
Soft red burlap sacks full of dark salty depths of painfull mystery ..............mouth open in wonderment face blueish red
veins bulging
Still unable to pull in any breath
Someone has broken the glass
And done the unthinkable
Flipped the ****** off switch labeled
Dont ever flip this ******* switch please
Yes a true maverick .......tragic ideology
Thinks hes hip but poor old chum
Not.......quite ....quick enough witt
And saddly enough thinks he knows it
And manges to mangle that into his way of thinking as a sort of keep himself from being taking advantage of..........problem is it still happpens only he doesnt see it as a problem .....
Cause he gives it away knowing...ly
They still laugh as they walk away with his money and steal his things
They carry heavy backpacks full of his
Dignity.
As he sits alone lieing to himself saying
"Someday theyll look back and say the grrrreatest things about me"
In the grand scheme of things
If nothing else ill be the one stable constant maybe somehow that will help them
What he doesnt know.....is that
When this cold day comes. Broke and broken .in dire need .
All these things haunting him
Feeling like a foolish tool
...............
That Donny Darko Day right before he frolicked away and swam in the lagoon of delirium.
He stepped into the kennel with his two massive dogs
Cut the chains and let the epic battle begin.
This time its to the death ......
And hes wanting the black one to win
Metaphorically  speaking
We all have two dogs within.
It what we use to get what we need
It represents who you are .
Because the dominate dog in you is the one that you feed.

That thought brought to you by our sponsor .
Who would like to remain anonymous.
Now lets get back to our story.
Already in progress.  

Shhhhhhh
Oh. Ok sorry.
Lets watch shall we?
Sshhhhhh
ill equipped to handle
The ferocity of deep disdain raging like a glowing vermillion crucible
Full of all the years riddicule
Going all the way back to school hood
Days and the hazing all the way through his marriage
His wife he pulled out of the ghetto
Like plucking the only ***** flower out of a prison yard
Adored her
put on a pedestal
His countenance fell
The day the laughter came from her lips this was his first glimpse into hell
They all try to tell him she was an infidel
He tried to forgive and forget
Till death do us part
My friend I love you
Ill be here to pick you up when you fall
.........
And for this he received a Judass kiss and his first dagger to his heart
Her response.............
I dont respect you because you took me back.
That was the day that **** Jagger slipped into his mind through the crack in his psyche
I thought i had a good life
I dont know how to *** it bayack
My whole world a night mare
and now I cant turn bayaaak ........
If i look back hard enough into the settin suuyun
My...............well you *** the gist rieeet?
He was the golden child trained to be a lover it was her that helped him
Discover ........ . .
To this dog eat dog world
He was an oddity.
A rarity .more than a novelty
More like a real commodity
Could be said a gem of considerable quality .
Clearly a priceless delicacy
For us to devour.
Lets feed.
Finnally his lung cavity began to spazam and as the air rushed in it ripped cold through the reeds in his vocal cords resonating so painfully
In convulsive loud  squelching yelps like that of a ******* sea lion beaten with a stick.
His pupils for a second went chatoyant
Then the whole eye went black
With a long blink ...... .
Curiosly a confident smirk emerged his cover washed away
And he rememberd what he was
Chuckling at his present circumstance.
That is only for a minute
quickly it became a sickning laughter
Maniacal and diabolical.
And you know what hes gonna do
Its the big pay back *******
Hes singing .a biker stolls into his path
He rips the jacket off his back throws his hands out and yells
*** punk .....
Saunters off like John wayne into the mist.
Tune in next week to frightening  conclusion of my unamusing debut
Called im not over the coocoo's nest im in it and i ate the cookoo
What?
Is that so rong
....i just love spelling that word rong