And I found that sadness isn't a gradual process.
It's instantaneous, like a cold wave of salt water flushing you under,
Drowning you for a few moments, and you're in shock.
You ask yourself, "Am I drowning?" and, "Is this really the end?"
And then you begin to panic.
You cannot see, for the salt burns your eyes, and you aim blindly for the surface.
Your lungs feel heavy, suddenly,
And you begin to lose your breath.
And in that moment, you reach the surface.
The surface isn't promising, for it's a blinding, white light,
And your eyes have a difficult time adjusting to the light.
They may never fully adjust, really.
And then you wish you had drowned,
Because for some reason the water changed you,
And you cannot fully learn to breathe,
And your eyes never fully adjust,
So you're stuck being this numb, blind, asthmatic person for the rest of your time.
There's no going back either,
Once you're hit, you're hit.
It's not a gradual process.