As you know, gut feelings don't lie.
My guard was up with you from the start.
Somehow you broke through.
I never told you a lie.
Or anything that wasn't true.
Still you didn't want to listen.
You let me listen to your problems and pain.
You let me help you.
Your best friend even told me: be carefull, he's so sensitive.
Me too, I told him loudly, extremely.
What about me?
But it was never about me it seems.
Your pride, your ego, I had to have respect.
Respect needs to be earned.
Maybe later you think back to this and learn.
I screamed at you: Why can you not be understanding with me as I'm also deeply hurting and suffering?!
It didn't really seem to get through to you at all....
And so I had to cut you off.
So harsh, the ugly truth inside your perpect looking Persian eyes.
This Viking is leaving, never to return.
No regrets but still torn and angry.
I fought for you before you showed me it had all just been in vain.
Now I still have to see you for 5 weeks untill I'm moving.
Moving away from you forever.
Only left with my true friends to visit.
I hope I'll never have to hear another ugly word from you again or see you after that.
Words and looks of empty pride.
While my good friends are still humble and loyal, I gave you my all.
Foolish little fight, way too big fight to handle cause I could never win this one.
So I'm saving myself again for what's left to be done and fight for now.
You chose to look away when I was in battle.
While I was thinking about your fights constantly.
Did you learn that in your culture?
All autistic women are better off dead than to live with people like you.
You told me your stories, you were a beast in your country.
You're not so much of a changed man.
Nobody can save you from your ego but you.
To think you tried to teach me things about sprituality and everything.
Hope I showed you something....
But I'm leaving.
21-12-21
