and over time the hurt may never go away sometimes you gotta deal with the pain sometimes you got to ignore the memories or at least try i had to walk away because i was tired of the pain and the hurt and the crying and the abuse no one will ever realize what we had because they dont understand it they dont see it. you were the first person i have ever loved and without a doubt you werent the last because i know someday i will find that love again i just dont know when or maby i already have hell who knows what the future holds life is ****** up you just got to keep your cool in the good and the bad you gotta learn how to be okay even if your not. i cant sit here and get jealous or even mad because i know that i had you first i know that i let you go and i know that i made the right choice i loved you but you always had your mind on someone else as you were falling for her you were telling me you loved me as you were flirting with her you were holding my hand, but thats okay because in the end i found someoen who made it okay i found someone thats going to make me smile instead of cry

I feel present but not actually there. I go to a party and watch as everyone walks by.  everyone passes and when someoen finally says hello I reply only as mere response mechanism "hello." I might carry a conversation but I still feel empty. that is the worst. feeling alone in a crowded room. will I ever feel present again? I'd like to hope so yes, but sadly ever since you left, I guess you took that with you as well.