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If Life Wasn't Such A Blade Through The Heartt,,
If Onlyy It'd Feltt Nothing Like A Fartt,,
Maybe Then You'd See The Artt,,
Instead Of Onlyy What's Torn Us Apart,,

I've Seen This Coming,,
Wishing I Had Nott,,
But That's Ok,,
I Wontt Dripp A Single Dropp Of Snott,,

Nor Shed Ah Tearr,,
Nott Here Nott There,,
Living This Life In Constantt Fear,,
Foreverr Craving But Hating The Veryy Words We Hear,,

Four Letters,,
One Hope,,
I'm Speaking Of Love,,
But It's A Lott Like Dope,,
I've Been High Off Of You,,
Feeling Like A Hitt Of One Or Two,,
But Instead Of Trying To Smoke,,
This Time I've Justt Said Nope,,

Unable To Fool Myself Anyy Longerr,,
Hoping Thatt Maybe Nextt Time I'll Be Ah Bitt Strongerr,,
But For Now I Noo Longerr Wish To Feed This Hungerr,,
This Fear Is One I Mayy Nott Conquerr,,

I Do Apologize,,
Justt Once More,,
Look Me In My Eye's And Tell Me,,
Those Words Were Neverr Lies,,
Even Thoughh I Mayy Despise,,
The Veryy Truth,,

Of You,,
Noo Nott One But Maybe Two,,
I'm Beginning To Feel Ah Little Blue,,
As I Flood My Mind With These Thoughts Of You,,
Constantlyy Wishing Thatt I Could Sue,,

The Angeles Of Love,,
Nott Justt Those From Above,,
For The Time We've Spentt On This Thoughtt Of Love,,
Justt One More Word,,
Ah Push Or Ah Shove,,
Once Again With The Touch Of Ah Dove,,

This Constantt Battle,,
Feeling Like The Snake With Ah Rattle,,
Wishing One Would Have Chosen To Tattle,,

It Should Have Neverr Been Ah Debate,,
When Thinking To Use Ah Word Soo Greatt,,
Because In The Process You Mayy Be Preaching Hate,,

Forming The Word,,
Even While Doing The Verb,,
You Call It ***,,
Maybe Even Love,,
But How Could You Do Soo When Knowing Nothing Aboutt Your Dove,,

In The Pastt,,
I've Spoken Greatt Words Of Confusion,,
Hereby Leading Us To This Conclusion,,
Soo Before The Veryy Contusion To The Brain,,
I've Spoken These Words To Tryy An Relieve Some Of This Upcoming Pain,,
Speakk Of The Future & Few Will Nott Thinkk Of You As Insane,,
When Truth Is,,

You've Justt Seen This Coming Once Again.......
Jamison Bell Dec 2021
Merry Christmas Grandma,
Thought I'd fill you in on what's been going on here for the holidays. Since you can't be with us on account of you having your vaginal gout flare up again. Dad says it's just as well since you're not actually my grandma and really just some homeless lady I keep writing letters for. So I thought I'd huff whatever I can find under the sink and write you up.
Timmy had had another bad dream last night. He wet the bed and the Wolfhound that had been given to my aunt by her ex Snott, his name was actually Scott but he couldn't pronounce the letter c. Well it went crazy and killed Timmy. The Wolfhound, not Snot. My sister Tammy is pretty upset since his name had come up in her ****** Advent Calendar.
Mom took us by the prison last week to see Uncle Skinny. He's still in isolation so we had to yell at him though the drainage pipe in the back. Says he's doing well. Still eating skin every chance he gets but hasn't had a cigarette in four months. We're all pretty proud of him. We used a tent pole to shove some chicken skins through the pipe and wished him a Merry Christmas.
Our neighbors are having a dispute over Christmas decorations. Seems our new neighbors the Crowleys celebrate Christmas by going from house to house and screeching satanic verses into a megaphone whilst making their kids dance for nickels. Seriously these kids will not stop dancing unless you have nickels. Try throwing a quarter? Nope, they just dance harder. Nobody in the neighborhood is sure as to whether or not it's child abuse so we just collectively try to make sure we have nickels at all times. These people will just jump out of the bushes screeching and dancing. The other kids are afraid to wait for the bus in the morning.
Well in an effort to get them to stop. Our other neighbor begain having an affair with the wife in the schreechy family. My guess is he was going to blackmail her to get her family to stop screeching and singing. Well she ended up keeping the baby he knocked her up with. Turns out her husband is a cuck and into the whole thing. So now whenever you see them, they're pushing a stroller with his kid in it. His wife left him for her stepdaughter and they're making ***** films in Burbank. Daryl and I are thinking of trying to cheer him up by decorating his house for Christmas for him. We're going to turn a woodchipper towards his house and throw green paint and squirrels into it. Because he's always feeding the squirrels so we think he'll like it.
I found out what my friend next door is getting for Christmas. I saw his dad shopping for trampolines at the trampoline store in the trampoline district downtown. They have to perfect yard for it. They'll probably put it near the pool with the waterslide and the next to the rock climbing wall. Hopefully my friend will do more than just sit in his wheelchair and cry about it like he does every year.
Anyway. I should probably go clean up what's left of Timmy. I was supposed to do it hours ago but the dog has playing with Timmys corpse for a while. He shakes it around and flings it down the hall. Then he picks it up and runs around the house with it. Mom and dad will be back from their swingers party at the orphanage soon so I better get to it.
Tomorrow is Christmas. I can't wait. After I open my presents and have breakfast. I'm going to do what I always do. I'm going to stand in front of the Mosque and smoke cigarettes in a very intimidating manner. Once they come out to see what I want. I offer to scratch their ***** if they'll bring me some figgy pudding. It hasn't happened yet but I remain hopeful.
Have a Merry Christmas Grandma.
Love Billy

— The End —