Rain
Pains
Cold chains around my neck Rob me
of my dignities
Im Rodney Dangerfield
not only can I Not
get any respect
I cant even get a ******* rain check
damage control in effect
im a wreck and can you hear me
I think Im major Tom
and here am
I floating in my tin can
rather be a
chim
pan
zee
Pursuing all my efforts
In vain
Ev  er   ree  thang I do
Is what I was tryin not to do
a when I'm almost finished
I need some time not doin
an I look behind
I see some fool undoin
all the knots
I used to keep it all together
now are loosening
and as im
drifting
at around 120
an Im
accelerating
an im
trying
to gain a
better view
a new
way
of seein
whats happening
an im
changing
my
way of
thinking
instead
of saying
we got kicked
to the curb
how bout we sayin
weve been
set free
put all that ****
youve learned
put it up
nicely
in the rear view
mirror
flip it the bird
whistle whistle
hieeyahhh
were so outa here
like
like last year
ladies start your
engines
hes off his leash
and running
on false pride
denial
not in his right mind
has no idea what hes dooin
lets see who
can ruin him
this time
wheres the nachos?
shhhhhh
quiet
the shows starting
annnnnnn
back to you
Delton
oh well thanks
for the intro
a-hole
dont mention
it
friend
it is what it is
without further adu .....
lets do this
lost and lonely
if only i knew
everyone could see right
through my disguise
the wells of my
eyes
swelling
Oh .....
Swell
Life goes wrong
im gonged of the
gong show
again
and
things are getting
a little
blurry
I can barely see my friends
They look like they are all  doin well
I'm just so happy
Secretly
My strife goes on
posture imperfect
feelin like a chump
walkin circles
slumped
lookin like a derelict
talk about a half wit
bop bop bop
shoowap
talk about
bop....op
shoowap
talk about him
shoobie doobie
doo wap
dip dip

******
ok ok
enough already
he gets it
dumb dumb
does
he ?
$#¤<CUT>¤#$
AAAAAAHHHH
spank you vury much
myyyyyyy dear
I.......llllll
take it from here
facing down
pacin

Digging for

change
And saying
I have paid this toll too many times
This time I want the lead roll
Knaw what I get
instead
excuses
an
Regret I said it
Cause  I got my agent bret  
feedin me a ballogna
samwich
Tryin to console me
Given me council and
acting all
condesending sayin that time takin it's toll on me
oh really
is that what you think
let...... me.... .....show.....
you.
something
I've kept well pretty well thinking
Eventually Ill have to  run a bit
ya know
ta catch up on
things
****
not right now
f
though
cause my curtains calling the sun's falling
And now I'm in the sand running into the wind
And  the waves are crushing
I'm trying to break free
I get drugged back to the next one
That's reality or
Am I just tripping
And im

sittin
at
Malibu sippin on ***
Surfen.....
an lookin at the world..
Smillin ........
Throw in up dueces
ahhhhhh YA
BABY
truth is
i wasnt meant for this town
this world was meant for me
And ya .............
No I'm drowning in urban turbidity
Mistaking my youth lacking maturity
Someone keeps slapping me I brush it off smilling cause
im
cocky
I'm still big
enough
bad boy tough en rough enough
more like
heeees a huff en puff
whos the one who gets blamed
when things get tough
always does everything
and its never
enough
No one wants to try me
I'm  laughing
Thats immature ity or of me
I'm not sure
Hmm
Let's see.
Actually while I sit here debating
The tides taking me
Washed up I'm told
Unstable.
Stupid fables
I'm still able
Try me
Sometimes lately I can't get a gig
Even when I say
Aye I 'll work for free
Pockets empty
But still Rollin
Never rolled on anybody
I just got rolled I'm empty it fucken hurt me
I'm out
I fold
Leaving the table owing
The sharks morphing into vultures
Circling the desert sky above me
Scolded
Bought sold
old
Was been
Fear I'm afraid has started setting in
No taste I'm jaded
Gave all my best years to Jezebell
Who barely remembers me
Dazed
Dismal
Dank rank overlooked
Forgotten
Booked
Broke
Rotten rope
Spent my last dime on a broken
Boat sank
Starving no appetite
Lost fight
Karmas's bite
Tunnel no light
Funnel
I
N
G
D
O
W
N
Clown
Frown
Unclean
uneven
grievin
even given everything
I'm not playin
No thats ok
You go on
It's alright
I'll stay
No no
Don't wait a whole minute for me
You're barley gonna be a  hour early
You're what's important
You don't need me
I'm fine  
Dont be absurd
I dont want to be  burden
Can't get a word in .........
Ever.......
Ever
Everrr
Everrrrrrrrrr
Evvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Interrupted oh thats ok I'll do me later what do you need
Interrupting oh every body is waiting on me
I'm sorry IV just been so busy doin all y'alls things
I was just tryin ta give ya snore time channel surfing on tv
I'll work harder forgive me
Hope this doesnt interfear with you big plans of sleep in all day
Don't worry I'll work quietly
Decaying wailing
Waiting for the Boatman
No recognition in the reflection
Within the last trinket of treasure
Comforting  tether from a more pleasurable past
Time lent isn't coming back spent on the wrong things
Finnaly I get the feeling I'm no longer falling.
It's a definite maybe it's dark
Atleast I can walk I think I'm alright I can start healing
Ya right the floor just dropped out on me
Last reflection I reckalect  I'll see
Deplorable out cast naked empty
Groveling,used to be somthing
Stagerrin around hands in my pockets looking down
Rummaging through my own trainwreck
Exacerbating
my dreams and retirement tossed
Into the muck out of a bucket of slop
And feel bad cause I waisted your time
Whining about being
That pearl in the swine snout

out there as the frost melts off starry eyed  Lad 13

***** cheeks
bulgin at the seams pushin boundries cussin ,
chewin, perusing every female from His age up to 50 fightin everone .
every thing  
honery
mad at the world
voice changing immature
growin like a ****
B.M.O.C.
raw strength and so fill of pride he cant hide it
Un concerned Dads watchin Him
sorta metaphorically  
only he can see when its time to step in
cause hes walked a mile or two 2 in his shoes
puberty pimples and rage has set in
hes gotta give him room to bleed
he listens to his boy as if hes a childhood friend
lets him have full cart blanc in gesture and speach
makes him
feel like hes in
his click  
young and tuff!
makes the boy
feel at ease , old  -  er
and tuff
at this point on this crisp spring day
both smillin
ahhh those Irish eyes
closer than they've ever been
emotionally pretty close to the same age
suns beatin down hot  shirts off  
Dads playin hookey
met the boy at school with beef jerky
quarter ounce of ***
and a half rack of ice cold 18 ounce Raineers
and there off up on the mountain somewhere smokin a joint laughin sweatin
catchin brookies up by top of the world !
as it was later known to be
but at this point it was known as the ****** ponds up the road from the Rossinger store
and although
we had been there and many times since  
some how I knew and I think he did too
we both lavished and whole heartedly  savored every minute of those days
I was thinkin I Was a Man
He was feelin like a Kid
we flipped the bird to the world and nothin could touch that
He was the toughest *******
and the coolest

He got a little long in the tooth but never lost his edge
a full fledged Mosquito
it saddens me that  there arent many around that knows what that means
my Father
told his companion
not to say a thing ..    
to me

. of

.. his ...  

cancer

didnt want me to suffer
  
****** Cancer

He died not wanting to burden me  
a week before Christmas this year . Im numb

it hurts so bad
i wanna packit up take out a few enemies and fade and be done

then  I feel the sun

oh I can smell the beer
see his loving eyes and here  him say Awe
I love you Son.
and then I look at my Son .
I still have time to run with him awhile and try to build with him some memories

I will always love you Dad
not a minute goes by. I miss you