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Cunning Linguist Sep 2017
Muthafucka I squall,
**** with me.
Bawl so hard, aneurysms burst;
Call it apoplexy
Uh, ***** I rage!
With the squad in the whip
Yeah we goin places, ayye

Up to the trap.
Insert rap
Got the gwap
We in the kitchen cooking crack
I'm like assuh dude. Nomsayin?
This wordsmith, *****
I'm wild & sign my autographs with crayons

I'm stimulated got my face wrung.
Getting my sip on,
***** what the **** u trip on?
Ugh.

Worry about whats in my drink I'm lit for days son!
Its been a grip;
U Catch me slippin'
I'm out this *****,
Dont gotta stay long

Whip that yayo,
White like mayo,
Rhymes on fleek -
****** your fleet,
cops on my payroll

Sick of the same ol'
Every day yo.
PC ******, cut yourself
Mainline some Drano.

Fire to the rock, then I'm stone cold!
Slurrin my words;
Got the glock in my holster
Uh, & fam I'll flash my **** at your home girls.
No **** to give lit 24/7,
You want that beef I got it kosher (skrrr)

I got the sheets and the lotion
& the bud I got is om nom
U cause a stink, I got commotion
don't wanna face
that skunk ****,
That **** is potent

Mixed some jet fuel in my lean -
Now the fire I spit
Is hot enough
to melt through steel beams
Rap game's fake,
I devastate
March to the guillotine -

Don't hesitate its make or break
I smoke the dankest memes.

Ugh.. I'm 100 about that hanky-pank
uh. & U won't find me
where that loud pack ain't.
Pop these shots off
Go bang-bang
I rep these streets,
Bleed OG
Whilst floppin' my dang-lang.

You scream you got racks
But your ****'s old.
No slack you're broke -
***** whack bro.
You've sold your soul
Blood inks the contract tho
& I'm Diablo.

Headfirst,
Victims from this wicked verse
Burst into flames
Inside this wretched furnace
Super earnest,
This my sermon,
Y'all gon learn this
I'm that serpent
******' sinister minister
Mr.-*******-Your-Sister
I slither in it a little
Now I'm in utero, for real tho

Til I'm old and withered,
And my body's brittle
With a 40,
I'm in my underwear
Wheelchairin' round
Screaming
I am the liquor!

It dont get no sicker,
So just come bump to this -
All the uglies in the world
To violate with my fists.
Fulfilling all my deepest
Darkest wishes

I'm vicious.
Some say I'm savage;
Wreaking havoc,
Combustion proliferating the madness -
Ashes to ashes
As the blunt makes some passes
2 lit 4 life
consciousness starts to lapse fam

Faded/

Stay lit through the day trip
Not enough,
where the plug is?
Attractin' wealth
stack em hundreds
Slander me hold your tongue,
***** 'fore I cut it...
fresh prince, catch my lil' smith
im going west son,
railing through the clips
get rekt'd check your privilege
White as ****, zen master flux
**** I'm killin it Reid-Dickless.
Quit your *******', I'm in the kitchen whippin' it chu see the flick of the wrist?

My attempt at being intentionally dumb af/mainstream rap nowadays
B Woods Aug 2010
Ay' there all ya drunkerds
Ahoy to those that sin
I hope i aint been slurrin words
For I'm a few pints in!

So grab your glass
And heres a toast
To the merry, we be green!
May your days be short
and your nights be long
and your mornings, not so mean.
Tom Webster Jul 2019
CONSISTENT  CONTRADICTION
I'm a perfectly consistent contradiction.
I'm oiled by tons of lightweight friction.I'm
spending my time with no time to spare;
while suffocatin' on all the fresh air.
I'm slurrin' my speech with perfect diction,
while truthfully expressing science fiction.
There's not a lot more that I can say,
so I won't take long;
just forever and a day.
My past draws ever closer as my future fades away.
I'll see you in Hell but have a nice day.
I have ultralight opinions that hold lots of weight;
can't draw worth a **** as I'll illustrate.
You may think I'm on your doorstep, but I'm a hundred miles  away.
See you in Hell but have a nice day. I don't know why you're so
insistent that I have to be perfectly consistent.
Can't you see that I'm doin' OK?
See you in Hell but have a nice day.
I gotta  comatose brain that won't slow down;
a friendly warm smile that's sprinkled with a frown.
My mind is racin' 'bout a mile a minute.
Get out of my life cause I need you in it.
I'll take Mastercard or Visa but you don't gotta pay.
See you in Hell
but have a nice day.
Consistency  is overrated,
and lunacy is unappreciated.
Every corner of my coaster has got one roller.
I've gone clinically sane,
while being bipolar.
I'm as short as Paul Bunyan and tall as Tom Thumb;a cross between Einstein and Dumber and Dumb.
I'll wish you a Merry New Year in the middle of May ,and I'll see  you     in Hell but have a nice day!
TREASUREI Oct 30
He keep calling me up !
You wanted all of his love  ?!
I know  forgiveness ain't free .
Slurrin words like my feet
Was worth all the drugs ?
Common ground is a blinking for me ..
He think I'm thinking to much

— The End —