Bipolar, if you had asked me what I knew about it six months ago I would have said it means that a person goes from being really happy to really sad sometimes or, if I would be honest I would have said I hadn't a clue about it.
Bipolar means to touch heaven and hell.
This year began with me being in a severe depression, often holding a loaded gun to my head with a finger lightly depressing the trigger. Bipolar, after all, is the highest killer of all psychiatric illnesses with 1 out of 5 committing suicide and 1/2 attempting it. I felt completely alienated from anyone- severely out of place in the world, as if my birth was some sort of horrible mistake.
But I'm holding onto hope, hope that all these meds(Lamictal, Saphris, Abilify) may eventually enable me to have a life again. This year I lost my sister to suicide(she was 27 and also bipolar), I cannot put anyone through the pain that I've felt due to her leaving like she did. I must "carry that weight" as the Beatles would put it.
If you too are Bipolar I would love to chat, please message me. I'm looking for a friend who can relate, hell, I'm just looking for a friend.

Add Abilify to your Pristiq
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll add 150 milligrams of Welbutrin
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll double that
but if Abiliify puts fat on you
like some of the corticosteroids
we’ll replace it with Saphris
and hope that doesn’t upset your stomach
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll cut out caffeine and nicotine
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll cut out high fructose corn syrup
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll stop sodas and candy
and if you don’t feel better
in a few days
we’ll do an fMRI of your brain
and by then you will be so tired
of chasing happiness
that you will just sit down on the couch
and play with your cat
who knows better than you