There is a girl i sit behind in a class we are asked to hone our craft of writting, producing storys and tales but in my mind poetry stiill prevails, this girl has long light brown hair that flows like silk down her soft face jeweled by her big bright brown eyes that draw me in. She speaks from her heart and can captivate any reader she gives the glorious chance to glimps upon her work. Her words could move mountains with the weight of truth she uses. Still she does not see it, sadley she does not see the gold in her soul, the angelic like perfections that make up her face beauty is not worth the essence of what you trully are, for you make the stars envious with how u shine, your eyes so amazing they are like a rainbow a child sees in the sprinklers reflection to remind every man that deep down is a boy who still thinks the world is full of wonder you give me the same feeling as christmas and just like the grinch u made my heart grow three sizes bigger then nyone thought possible to the more astonishing part you ddnt just make me fall in love with you, you showed me i can love myself even with the times i grunted n growned as u made me look after my health a good nights sleep before you meant nothing, but now with you a dreamer has a reason to sleep hopeing i can see you even a second longer in my head as storys play like projector screens thinkin of the magic it would make me feel if i could only just kiss you, Your lips softly pressing against mine. The idea brings fireworks to my mental imagery, my body becomes lifted full of energy. Like the sky that was once dark and smogy is fresh again, i take a deep breath inhailing the clean air that clenses my heavy soul. I reach my hand over my cheast realizing the heart you stole. Thinkin its safer where it is cuz my hearts a wild animal and its wrong to keep it locked up behind the cage of bone being my ribs. Memories like monkey faces and tickle fights, curved with philosophy and a cold cola dwn my neck while you laugh enough to everyone stare but we diddnt care, whats highschool without silly memories, like asking bout my feet. Or convincing me to keep my dorky hair that never seems to lay flat in the back. Picking jokes at my baggy jeans, stealing sweaters but that part always made me smile thinking something of mine kept you warm, no matter if it was dark or a snow storm know im close to you. The thought of my arms around you, sometimes we might get pulled into dark thoughts, we are tested and pulled, sometimes you might think you have nothing but know you will always have me. I care so much i will never let you forget. Till the life leaves from body and i take my last breath. You are strong, you are smart, you are beautiful. THANK YOU, You made this grumpy man smile.

"Just try it! " said Jonathon. He held out the straw. I don't want to take it.
"No, it's killing you. Can't you see that? I'm not gonna do it", I said, sitting up straighter. He gave me his best puppy dog eyes. The amount of crap he's been using made his eyes wet, like a puppy. And sadley  enough it was working. His little green eyes were already glazed from the **** at the start of the party. I didn't come to Dan's party w/ Jonathon, I met up w/ Jonathon at the beer keg.
"Please!" He whined. The extra coke he'd done gave him extra energy. His legs were bouncing in and out of his chair. His eyes were huge now. I hesitated.
" Dont tell anyone, or your digging your own grave."
I took the draw from his hands. A huge wave of adrenaline drowned my thoughts and my heart stopped. I leant over the rave were the coke was w/ the razor blade and the lines. I didn't even breathe for fear of breathing it all away. I should've. Inlet out a small breathe out the side and did the line like a champ. In one single snort. My nostrils burned, along w/ my brain. Jonathon told me to take another hit, so I did. It burned again, this time like a solar flare.
But I did it. I was done.
People say when the feeling of need comes, it's impossible to stop. My feeling of need came 3 hours later.
Then I realized one thing.
There was no going back after that.

All the lies, all the hatefull words.
Burn,
so much,
I could die.

The love,
was always dead.

And whenever there is silence.
You become an unwanted guest.
The kind that is impolite,
that bothers everyone around them.

You waited for me,
but only to crush me.
"you're just a shallow *****".

Then why hold me in your arms, and say "when he leaves, I'll be your open door"?

*******.

You hurt.

And I cry,
I fight,
but my soul dies.

You will always hurt me,
and sadley,
I will always love you, because you did things no one else would.

I want to hate you,
but it seems impossible,

my room has become my friend,
along with the dark,
it gives me a place to cry,
with out my mother by myside,

cause she wouldn't understand.

Hold me,
hold my hand,

hug me,
and twirl me.

Kiss me,
like we never got the chance to,

and say you hate me.
Cause I still love you anyways.