I am weary
I am worn
I don't know where my home is
I feel myself slipping
From where I know I am
I am getting tired
Feeling myself weaken
Feeling my resolve weaken
As I am repeatably battered by the storm
Just wondering when this weariness will pass
When this heaviness in my heart and in my soul
Will actually lift
Removing the fog
Opening up my path
So I don't have to fight all the time

You're standing on a bridge
over looking the never ending water that is the ocean
you watch as the waves viciously pummel over one another
thrashing about as the rain falls like bullets
slapping the water
the lightning and thunder sound in the distance
It's the perfect night
no one is around to stop you
everyone is safe in their home trying to out wait this wicked storm
wind goes racing by, pulling my hair with it, trashing it about to where is slaps your face repeatably  
you walk closer to the bridges railing, closing your eyes and ******* in the cold air slowly
prepping yourself for what you're about to do
you clear your thoughts to where your mind is blank
finally reaching the bridges railing your cold hands meet the cold bridge and you laugh at the irony
that this cold hard metal you are feeling in some way represents you
for a few moments you stand and just absorb the cold metal into your skin
you soon find yourself moving without knowing
your body is so overwhelmed with the want of relief
that it's moving for your own good, avoiding what your mind and heart have to say
it doesn't care any longer
you feel the strength in your arms as you lift your entire body to now sit on the bridges railing
you slide your feet over the edge, dangling them down into what seems to be an eternity of a fall
eyes closed and body slowly but sure sliding forward
you scream
you let it out, what you've been holding in for years
all the pain and heart ache and troubles
the things that no one wanted to listen to
and then the tears come, rapidly streaming down your cheeks
Your raise one of your hands to slap them away and as you do
you
fall

In the opposite direction that you wanted
you fall back onto the bridge
and into the grasp of person
they draw you into their hold
they cradle you, like no one ever has
you open your eyes and look around, the storm still going steady
you turn your face to the stranger that has saved you
and without realizing it
the tears start again and you you not able to catch your breath for now you are brutally sobbing
through chocked cries
you
thank
them

Finishing is so hard
Why is finishing so hard

I can start
And I can continue
But repeatably I cannot finish

What is within me that makes finishing so hard

Perhaps I'm scared
Perhaps I don't know how to finish

Perhaps I wasn't born to finish
Only to start

To start unnecessary and uncertain Projects
In my life
But never to finish

To never finish a **** thing until the thing of life finishes upon me

Finish something once in your life
Finish so you can know what being done is

Finish something on your own
Finish on your own terms
Finish because you want to
Finish because you need to

For Christ sake
Just finish something

As I desperately cling into your arms
My once saddened heart began to rejoice again
My tears fall down my pale, white cheek
as I repeatably cried out I love you
Your gently kiss touch my lips
as you whispered I love you too
I began to be happy again...
to finally touch you again...
to be there again with you...
But as I began to say stay,
my eyes opened,
and you vanished from me and my arms...
leaving me alone once again.

One Mississippi
two Mississippi
three missahippie.
My sweet mama I miss a hippie though she's is completely ******* trippy.
Still the life of the party at a little past sixty.
Tonight I wished her *** was here right here with me.
I couldn't put it more simply. I hate feeling **** so **** intensely.
Incomprehensibly stupid are the people that surround.
I don't think you want to find out what's next do better don't **** around. White moise in my head the static is a deafening sound.
I chase it with clouds of smoke to ties that bind by blood I am bound deep dark thoughts so **** profound
Just merely everything i hold so dearly
I mean come the **** on now really this **** is being to get silly insincerely punished severely.
My pain is now mixed with little bits of my tranquility.
Still I'm feeling rather ****** sometimes im so glad time moves so  swiftly
whatever it is I've got coming just gimme and let me trudge on Weary. Oh my sweet sweet mama was caught up in some ******* drama and is now in county jail a possible thousand dollar bail. Into I seemingly stare.
Is anyone here right now even really there.
It doesn't matter I don't really care.
Back in my day I was the very one, from me you'd die if you had tried to run.
I am not top flight security I will not drop the **** gun. It seems like most of my life I have already been spinning with the exact actions needed when you are conspiring to be spun
against all I stood for into the  calamity automatically sprung. Words were used as ammunition while unbroken remained all of my bones the sticks and the stones really stung. The battle may be over but the war that was freshly was just waged with each sides demonic factors had been chained up and caged this war
Had just begun meanwhile back at the standpoint it was sorry Charlie you're ******* clazy
bloodshed and bodies litter the battlefield
but not even that could have ever phased me
the insane ways others often think intrigues me clearly it

The feel right now is completely irrelevant but in this room I would like to address the elephant hallucination
probably about 100 percent.
**** really even barely makes sense. Lately things have made me feel so tense
what comes next don't keep in suspense.
Head's feeling a little too dense.
I swear I only fought back on self defense
that black eye I didn't give you was no coincidence
I am claiming that ignorance is bliss the key is on that stupid **** don't place so much significance. Different places different friends different things I now intend
lower and lower it seems that I am beginning to descend with this addiction I must contend. If you asking me what I am about to do well that will depend if you and I turning in full circles like it's a new trend. I am not your foe but I am in fact a fiend my friend.
Is this some kind of superstition or is this simply a tradition.
This is just another example of the human condition
how long will it be before I break instead of just Bend.
Into the crowd I am desperately attempting to blend.
I'm sorry I really don't mean to offend
it looks like we have hit yet another dead end.
I repeat the complete insanity over and over again.
I'm just a hollowed out vessel harboring these secrets I am forced to keep.
Incomplete
I am trying to be discreet but I am seeing **** due to the lack of sleep
I am a little lost I'm  feeling rather weak I have one hell of a vindictive streak
well this is me  it is who I am  along with demons playing hide and seek now I lay me down my soul I pray to God to keep  
actions speak louder than words because talk is cheap
one day just what I have sewn I'll reap.
Through my old neighborhood slowly I creep. I
slow my roll as I roll down my old street
sporadic in my chest my heart does beat.
I think what I'm looking for is probability right out of my reach
I am unable to just accept defeat. My life is stuck on ****** repeat. Sometimes I consider being out there running with the elite.
Then into the shadows I often retreat fleeing from those moments that are at best bittersweet.
Memories that I cannot delete still my story is in set in concrete it can be anything my broken mind can conceive.
I know the  goals  I've set soon I will achieve that would actually come as a relief
I am staring at the newest version of me in total disbelief right now I don't have time to deal with this grief.  Just who the **** are you attempting to deceive.
I have nothing else up my sleeve addiction is a hell of a disease
can't someone just come and help me please the day is discouraging I prefer to just seize the night..
I know I am so **** far left I just cannot get myself right.
I try with all of my might to make sense of this gifted kind of insight. Flames in my hell don't quite burn as bright.
The voices in my head now have all gone quite
I won't grow old graceful every step of the way I have every intention to fight it.
I smoke I chief on these little green trees I pray for that sweet leaf. Offering me a little bit of a release. How could I forgotten the way my heart rate seems to increase when I start to live dangerously.
Excuse the hell out of me people they only see just what they really want to see.
I stand alone among the debris.
I just have to  live free
to me please don't pay any attention to my contributed delinquency
you have any clue on who it is I am really  supposed to be.
I give in I surender the control I have thought about relinquishing.
I myself am diminishing this project I'm nowhere near finishing
I am supposed to love myself unconditionally
but just not the case when     disbelievingly  in prayer I drop down on bent knee.
I feel like I need so one that's able to represent me.
Maybe I need someone to just reinvent me
I do all kinds of this experimentally
I try to use my resources sparingly yet I move the **** on daringly. though these dark skies I navigate wearily.
This is the story of my life apparently before I lose all my strength despairing
it probably looks like I move all so uncaring increasingly there seems to be a minor discrepancy
. It's the very definition of me trying to emerge with integrity
whole often I find myself just spinning off right out of control colder and more corrupt the older I grow
there's a hole that isn't fillable
in my dark desolate soul
that is what most people simply do not know all the secrets from all of these last years that I have been told makes me want to be like laundry just so I can fold asked no questions so lies have been sold.

They say that if you  don't ever slow down you'll never grow old
. I barely found it inside of myself to be able to hitch hike down this familiar dirt road
teeter I totter on the very brink of a psychotic episode
just give me a second let me go ahead and lock and load
  to have and to hold though the very gates of hell I have **** sure rode.
I am half *** ready to go on and explode you're **** straight if you think that I am throwed.
I slipped right back into beast mode. These big *** cracks in my moral code bodies they will easily hold when the devil made me he **** sure broke the mold I am only taking just what I think that I'm owed wish the progression could be slowed  I'm impossible to be consoled this particular street is often  heavily patrolled there have been very few times my emotions have accidentally shown.. cherished you are in the eyes of the one you actually behold. I think I am a little too exposed quite a bit I'm indisposed this isn't how I supposed this would go.  Being pulled so far down below me and the devil go blow for blow. I go where no one else can follow I wallow in my sorrow I knew that time here was only ours to barrow I am counting on there being a tomorrow Broken it's me laying here hap hazardly for a place just I wait disastrously the truth is even when Im good with all the chaos and calamity I still a walking talking catastrophe. I the job I have done unsatisfactory. Distractedly dastardly reactively to some things I feel so compassionately that to myself I think absently that you are a liability that is just part of the reality. I had a bad bad break in my mentality abnormalities help me with all these legalities that get me off on technicalities. Effectively questionable exceptionally a deception I see. I gather up my **** separately  selectively I trod on defectively I'm unable to see the situation objectively why does there seem to be so much negativity I don't want to suffer through the indignity I need a new identity can't stand the intensity cannot not hold up under the pressure yet I continue on relentlessly I suffer through the Indecently that had gotten worse as in recently halt fire increasingly. It is so hard to get through to me freezing cold I am ******* empty images the fade fleetingly I find I am indeed discontent repeatably the future I can not see fearing Indecently interfering the demons are staring at me indecent in their inhumanity somewhere between this rewritten work of fiction and a fantasy, it's something that for me is hard to fathom understandably underhandedly explicit in the lines of demented profanity. Up to my eyes I'm in elbow grease and ingenuity.  This is so unusually new to me nothing is really left
The feel right now is completely irrelevant but in this room I would like to address the elephant hallucination probably about 100 percent. **** really even barely makes sense. Lately things have made me feel so tense what comes next don't keep in suspense. Head's feeling a little too dense. I swear I only fought back on self defense that black eye I didn't give you was no coincidence I am claiming that ignorance is bliss the key is on that stupid **** don't place so much significance. Different places different friends different things I now intend lower and lower it seems that I am beginning to descend with this addiction I must contend. If you asking me what I am about to do well that will depend if you and I turning in full circles like it's a new trend. I am not your foe but I am in fact a fiend my friend. Is this some kind of superstition or is this simply a tradition. This is just another example of the human condition how long will it be before I break instead of just Bend. Into the crowd I am desperately attempting to blend. I'm sorry I really don't mean to offend it looks like we have hit yet another dead end. I repeat the complete insanity over and over again. I'm just a hollowed out vessel harboring these secrets I am forced to keep. Incomplete I am trying to be discreet but I am seeing **** due to the lack of sleep I am a little lost I'm  feeling rather weak I have one hell of a vindictive streak well this is me  it is who I am  along with demons playing hide and seek now I lay me down my soul I pray to God to keep  actions speak louder than words because talk is cheap one day just what I have sewn I'll reap. Through my old neighborhood slowly I creep. I slow my roll as I roll down my old street sporadic in my chest my heart does beat. I think what I'm looking for is probability right out of my reach I am unable to just accept defeat. My life is stuck on ****** repeat. Sometimes I consider being out there running with the elite. Then into the shadows I often retreat fleeing from those moments that are at best bittersweet. Memories that I cannot delete still my story is in set in concrete it can be anything my broken mind can conceive. I know the  goals  I've set soon I will achieve that would actually come as a relief I am staring at the newest version of me in total disbelief right now I don't have time to deal with this grief.  Just who the **** are you attempting to deceive I have nothing else up my sleeve addiction is a hell of a disease can't someone just come and help me please the day is discouraging I prefer to just seize the night. I know I am so **** far left I just cannot get myself right. I try with all of my might to make sense of this gifted kind of insight. Flames in my hell don't quite burn as bright. The voices in my head now have all gone quite I won't grow old graceful every step of the way I have every intention to fight it. I smoke I chief on these little green trees I pray for that sweet leaf. Offering me a little bit of a release. How could I forgotten the way my heart rate seems to increase when I start to live dangerously. Excuse the hell out of me people they only see just what they really want to see. I stand alone among the debris. I just have to  live free to me please don't pay any attention to my contributed delinquency you have any clue on who it is I am really  supposed to be. I give in I surender the control I have thought about relinquishing. I myself am diminishing this project I'm nowhere near finishing I am supposed to love myself unconditionally but just not the case when     disbelievingly  in prayer I drop down on bent knee. I feel like I need so one that's able to represent me. Maybe I need someone to just reinvent me I do all kinds of this experimentally I try to use my resources sparingly yet I move the **** on daringly. though these dark skies I navigate wearily. This is the story of my life apparently before I lose all my strength despairingly it probably looks like I move all so uncaring increasingly there seems to be a minor discrepancy. It's the very definition of me trying to emerge with integrity whole often I find myself just spinning off right out of control colder and more corrupt the older I grow there's a hole that isn't fillable in my dark desolate soul that is what most people simply do not know all the secrets from all of these last years that I have been told makes me want to be like laundry just so I can fold asked no questions so lies have been sold. They say that if you  don't ever slow down you'll never grow old. I barely found it inside of myself to be able to hitch hike down this familiar dirt road teeter I totter on the very brink of a psychotic episode just give me a second let me go ahead and lock and load  to have and to hold though the very gates of hell I have **** sure rode. I am half *** ready to go on and explode you're **** straight if you think that I am throwed. I slipped right back into beast mode. These big *** cracks in my moral code bodies they will easily hold when the devil made me he **** sure broke the mold I am only taking just what I think that I'm owed wish the progression could be slowed  I'm impossible to be consoled this particular street is often  heavily patrolled there have been very few times my emotions have accidentally shown.. cherished you are in the eyes of the one you actually behold. I think I am a little too exposed quite a bit I'm indisposed this isn't how I supposed this would go.  Being pulled so far down below me and the devil go blow for blow. I go where no one else can follow I wallow in my sorrow I knew that time here was only ours to barrow I am counting on there being a tomorrow Broken it's me laying here hap haphazardly for a place just I wait disastrously the truth is even when Im good with all the chaos and calamity I still a walking talking catastrophe. I the job I have done unsatisfactory. Distractedly dastardly reactively to some things I feel so compassionately that to myself I think absently that you are a liability that is just part of the reality. I had a bad bad break in my mentality abnormalities help me with all these legalities that get me off on technicalities. Effectively questionable exceptionally a deception I see. I gather up my **** separately  selectively I trod on defectively I'm unable to see the situation objectively why does there seem to be so much negativity I don't want to suffer through the indignity I need a new identity can't stand the intensity cannot not hold up under the pressure yet I continue on relentlessly I suffer through the Indecently that had gotten worse as in recently halt fire increasingly. It is so hard to get through to me freezing cold I am ******* empty images the fade fleetingly I find I am indeed discontent repeatably the future I can not see fearing Indecently interfering the demons are staring at me indecent in their inhumanity somewhere between this rewritten work of fiction and a fantasy, it's something that for me is hard to fathom understandably underhandedly explicit in the lines of demented profanity. Up to my eyes I'm in elbow grease and ingenuity.  This is so unusually new to me nothing is really left just air and opportunity sing a song out of tune off melody commit a ******* felony I admit I watch the entire scene play out only seldomly. Drastically I evacuate the building almost magically. Unfortunately I am person that is uncontrollably disturbed emotionally  unknowingly causing a
Commotion imperfectly commit a travesty another ******* tragedy violently over there balcony silently there is now a casualty. It was casually created so callously principles before personalities. I will do just what I **** well please I swallow down quite a few of those and some of these easily. I get myself ****** up pleasing to me a waste of space A space that has gone into waste now it is time to make haste because I am significantly placed  for the faceless ghosts to give chase constantly I fall far from this side of saving grace  I keep trying to save face but it's hard to keep up this quicken pace when with the memories the pain now seems to interlaced. Back to me there is nothing that can be traced steps I have placed this Just in if there is no **** evidence  there. Is no **** case