"remourse" poems
The canvas of my memories,
Destroyed by my tears,
Was the last remaining torture tool
Of my roughly ravaged years.
I've been given a second chance.
Another shot at remourse.
A chance to get my life
Set on a tolerable course.
With a new pure white canvas,
Unscathed by my past,
I can go on living without
Regrets that will last.
The memories of my pain are long
Since behind me.
I have a whole new world
I have the chance to see.
Seeing through these untainted eyes,
I can see through everyone's hateful lies.
May 27, 2010
May 27, 2010 at 12:52 PM UTC
Key and a Lock
do you need me to go....?
well i never told you that i was going to leave
now you're stuck here face to face with me
tonight is the night that you suffer from all the
time it took me to recover. just a face i thought
i knew that became my new lover.
what have i been trying to accomplish?
things get blurry.
you told me you loved me
you told me you need me
you told me that you would never ever leave me
.. well what happened?
now you're stuck here to face the pain
that i kept locked deep inside my chest
in a box with a lock that only you held
the key to.
but where did it go? it was swallowed when
you took him to the room and you locked the door
now this box is here forever to stay
like you stuck deep in this game
i thought it was only you that could
save me from this pain.
but it was you
who enforced
the remourse
on this recourse
to shape a new key
..then maybe that box could be unlocked.
..well i was wrong.
you told me you loved me
you told me you need me
you told me that you would never ever leave me
now you can just sit back and watch
as i toss every photo that we ever took
into an ever lasting flame that will burn
each and every corner of those false
memories.
do you want me gone?
you're bound to this case
you wanted to fame
you came with a chain and wrapped it around my heart
the continuous tug that constricts my heart a little more
with each and every lie your lips told
well tonight is the night that this chain
breaks and i wont have to worry about unlocking the box
to release the pain that has been stored for decades
... was this not really happening?
or was this a way my mind was trying to help me cope
with the pain.
i still wont have to worry about finding a new key
because i already had it.
i look down only to find a few pills in my hand.
no one was here
no one to shape a new key
no one to even try and break the lock
but more importantly you weren't here.
there is only one way to break that lock
what have i left to hold.
i didnt't leave a note,
the door was unlocked.
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 19, 2013 at 3:43 AM UTC
Restless rainyday feelings
Alone in my room
Peering out of the window
At the gathering grey gloom
Left in the darkness
With nothing to do
I open up my memories
To think about you
Like the raindrops that gather
On a clear window pane
The drops run together
Like the thoughts in my brain
And I'm floating along
On a foggy grey day
Peacefully dreaming of sunnier days
When we walked and we talked
Without ever even thinking about time
Restless rainyday feelings
Alone and wasting my time
At the depths of my remourse
On a steep uphill climb
As I'm climbing so hard
Just to get to the top
My thoughts........they just scatter
Like the falling raindrops
As they all run together
Like the lines on the pane
Running together much like
The thoughts in my brain
And I'm floating along
On a foggy grey day
Peacefully dreaming of sunnier days
When we walked and we talked
Without ever even thinking about time
Restless rainyday feelings
Alone as I'm thinking of you
I find that it's so hard
To know just what to do
When left with an emptiness
That goes so amazingly deep
To the depths of my heart
My soul and my deepest desire
Those thoughts that inspire
These restless rainyday feelings
All alone -- much too soon
So I'm just floating along
Through the gathering grey gloom
All alone....alone in my room !!
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
The captain of the legacy
Retired his ship this noon
Yet I feel after 91 years
It was still a bit too soon
But never having held the helm
Or sailed his troubled sea
Who am I to say just when
His time of rest should be
So now that time has come
The flags sail halfmast
In tribute to a legend
Who's time has come and passed
Now at the rail he's standing
To wave a final farewell
To all the tiny vessels -- sailing
In the shadows of his sail
No more great regattas
Or ventures will he lead
No more anchors holding bottom
When the dingies are in need
The great ship still looked impressive
As it set its final course
Amid the sea of tears------
------and bellows of my remourse
FAREWELL MY CAPTAIN.......
....FAREWELL !
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 3:23 PM UTC
I didn't cry
As we said goodbye toss and turn
and gently weep
Should I fail to fall right off to sleep
Or endeavor to sever any sense of remourse rising up... along
the course of my day should I see
the extra key
now hung on the hook, or a stray ...
paperback book
as I put up ...that...now
extra coffee cup
or anything else
that seems out of place designed
to leave the trace
of a tear down my face nor have I felt any sense of dread concerning that
half empty bed
Consciously choosing to fall asleep
on the couch
or recliner instead
nor have I felt any nostalgic bite
when rolling over
in the chill of the night finding no one there
to cling to
I do not choke up
when I read or hear the same phrases
or words
used elsewhere
That was said
between ....us
as we broke up
no driving miles
out of my way
or checking my emails over and over each day no practice calls creating phrases looking for
the right words
not one of these things has brought any tears any pain
but I'm crying now ...as I'm realizing how unfair it is to see
by what I just shared how little I must have cared....
...... that truly makes me sad!
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 11:47 AM UTC