Late Night Skype Calls

Absence makes the
heart grow fonder
my ex girlfriend
once told me.

But, I didn't learn
the true meaning
of that statement
until I met you.

And seeing your
face on that bright
computer screen,
traces of fatigue
in your eyes.

You said you needed
to rest, and I whined
at you, but we both ended
up falling asleep together,
1,076 miles apart.

You told me I looked
so cute as I dreamed,
but I think the
real cute thing was
closing our eyes together,
1,076 miles apart.

Because, if you think
of it, it's almost as if
we were together,
just like we want it,
without being
1,076 miles apart.

qtsp

I once knew a girl who thought death
was easier than living a mess of a life.
Her family was stained with ****,
but I told her she had to put down the knife.

She said she had no purpose, no reason
but I pointed out to her the small, pretty things
and told her emotions and feelings changed like seasons,
and happiness would come with the summer the world brings.

She believed me and started to change her ways.
She was so gorgeous when she smiled.
I could press my lips against hers for days.
She was perfect to me, my wonder child.

The girl I once knew was dead, like she wanted.
Rest in peace, she was sadder than she needed to be.
Now with a smile and happy eyes that were once haunted,
I knew this girl had to know what she meant to me.

So I told her I loved her through a text, even though
I wanted to say it in person so I could see the look on her face.
It would have been one of those smiles I love, I know.
And since then I know we've both found our place

Right by each others' sides where our smiles are the brightest.
That's where we belonged, we couldn't fight this.
I was whole when I surrendered to her with a kiss.
I finally learned the definition of eternal bliss.

-qtsp- 6/14

It's your voice,
or maybe your hair,
or possibly the way,
you wear boxers for underwear.
It could be your name,
first and last,
or the tingles I get when,
you say you want to smash.
Another thing it could be,
is how I imagine kissing you.
Or how you say, “I love you,”
and we both know I love you too.
Maybe it's the thought of
you being mine,
or how, when you come home,
we can kiss all the time.
I love your good morning/goodnight texts,
The reason could be those.
Or maybe your sweetness, your intelligence,
your music taste or your stubbornness, maybe so.
Yes, your stubbornness,
sometimes it's cute, I'll admit.
Or when you deliberately try to
get my ******* wet and just won't quit.
I like when you talk all the ***** to me,
**** it gets me going.
You're fine as ****,
that gets me going.
I love b$ + qtsp = <3,
I'm not trying to be cheesy,
I try to avoid cliches,
but baby, you got my heart beating.
I love your beautiful poetry,
especially when it's about me.
You can't address envelopes correctly,
but that's okay because you're thuggy b.
Maybe it's the snapchats you send me,
or your handwriting,
or just you period.
I know you got me sighing
when I think about how it'll be
when you're finally home
where you belong
and I can give you all the dome.
I really like when you say
you're in love with me,
I could listen to it everyday.
I want to be in love with you too.
I love how we constantly talk,
so maybe that's the reason I would walk,
the 1,076 miles to be with you,
except I have college and school.
****, I can't think of anything but you.
Your cat drawings may be a reason.
Or maybe it's the summer season.
I like when you text me after not talking in awhile,
and how you fricken always make me smile.
All the letters you send make me happy,
and how good you are to me.
I love your freaking eyes,
and your mind.
The way you say “baby” or
say my name
makes me happier than
I have ever been.
I also like the feelings I get when I
read your letters,
if I'm ever sad,
I reread them to feel better.
Even if it sounds tedious,
I love how you stalk my tweets,
and when you text me kissy faces,
and when I can hear in your voice that you're getting sleepy.
And I ******* loved the night
you fell asleep with me on the phone
while I told you all the pretty things,
made me feel like you were kind of home,
you were falling asleep next to me,
and I could kiss your eyelids,
and watch you sleep so peacefully,
but it made me want you with me.
Those are the reasons I love you

Your face is like a devil to me,
Eat my heart and leave me to bleed.
Hold on to my love with a dying kiss,
Cross out my eyes like that slashes on your wrist.
I've been asleep since noon,
Demons line the walls of this room.
You know what you do to me,
Leave me crying deliberately.
I'd jump out of my skin for you,
But would you do it too?

-qtsp- 6/4

a harmless monster
they called him
he's beautiful
and no stranger to sin.

he fed upon my innocence
he said i was an angel
and that we were different:
he came straight from hell

his cigarette smoke, unfiltered
clung to my sweaters and my
mother would beat me when
I'd return after saying goodbye.

we'd get high on Saturdays
and I'd tell him about
my child hood, the happier days
and I loved him without a doubt.

the day he told me
he was leaving
I sat in my room and cried;
our love had no meaning.

he promised he would write
and I believed him though
I knew he only knew how to lie
but I kept my thoughts low.

and I still waved him off
and watched his boat until
it was a dot on the horizon
and two weeks later I took a pill.

I told him I wouldn't live
without him and I kept my word,
(I only wish he had, too)
his pen would have been mightier than the sword.

when the pills didn't **** me
I killed myself with my father's
ax and said to myself only
"thank god I'm not their only daughter."

(qtsp)

You look worse
since we broke up.
Especially from the
waist up.

You face is hollow,
and the bags
under your eyes,
dark.

You look scruffy,
dead inside,
and that pleases me,
I don't know why.

Good luck,
sadness is such
a sorrowful
little thing.

Look at my lips,
eyelashes,
hands,
and hips.

And slowly,
remember,
sorrowfully,
our last kiss.

-qtsp- 5/23

Angelface

Hold me
like you should
have been
three months
ago.

Kiss me
like you would
have in
February
though.

Hold my
hand and whisper
sweet things
like I
want.

I've wanted
you for so
long and
now you're
here.

Please stay
for as long
as
possible
angelface.

-qtsp- 5/20

i always tell
myself to take
a structured
approach to this
writing business
but how do you
structure and
organize ideas that
are scattered about
your mind with one
common relation:

you.
you are that
common idea,
the thing that keeps
my fingers sweeping
across the keyboard,
pressing all the keys
that'll make the beautiful
words pour out, but they're
only as beautiful as you are;

you are so beautiful
to me, there is not
a doubt in my mind
that you are the most
gorgeous ******* the
Earth, which is why,
when you fall asleep
with me on the phone,
I listen to you breathe
and sleep for a few seconds
before saying goodbye.

now at eleven forty
i listen to lana del rey
in my bedroom, diet
mountain dew, and
the song has no relevance
to you, but it reminds me
of how i feel about you.
do you think we'll be
in love forever?
(qtsp 2013)

15 Days & Counting

To pass the time
that I have to wait
I read street signs
and count the miles
between the states.

I hope when you arrive
I'm enough for you
I hope you still feel alive
I know that I can make
these hopes come true.

So now it's only fifteen days
which is still a lot and it's still
about two months late
but I can handle the hesitation
because I have the power and will.

When you come to me for the first
time on June 26th, I promise
to kiss you until my lips hurt
and I promise that everything I said
in this poem is completely honest.

I love you with all my heart
Angelface, you've made it all worth it
I hate the times apart
we had to spend, but that time
wasn't enough to make me quit.

Here we are, four months down the line
after the first official moment we met
(disregard the first not-so-happy time)
I was happy that day, it was the best
but, with you home, the best hasn't came yet.

-qtsp- 6/11

I had work so I
took the train to
Sacramento.

There was a beauty
on the train with
red lips and a petite frame.

She sat beside me,
and called herself Lea,
and smelled of flowers mostly.

I wanted to kiss her lips
and hear her heart beat
and grab the fabric at her hips.

We both got off in Sacramento
but she went right and I went left
and that was the last of the pretty girl I didn't know.

I watched the car hit her
I rushed to her side,
but it was too late; she already died.

(qtsp)

It's been 73 weeks yet I still find myself
every now and again
   Searching through old pictures and feeling old things
that I should not be able to feel
   And I know we've both moved on a great deal in
this last year
   But I can't help but wonder how life would be
if we fell in love
   I refuse to wonder these things aloud, unless in silence
because I am not allowed to think or feel these things
   We were not meant to be, so why do I care
if our story was cut short?
   Do you still think of me?
  Of course not, we both moved on.
   Have a nice life.
   I know I will.
        - Pixie

qtsp

Where The Bad Ones Go

I'll show you where the bad ones go,
Land of nightmares and submarines,
Submerging you into the ocean of your tears,
You'll be wrapped in a blanket of your biggest fears.

The trees whisper your secrets, they see everything,
The clouds cry tears for you, but their tears, acid,
And you'll drown in their misery for your misery,
You'll forever scream, “Can't you see what you've done to me?”

The things in your dreams, imagine them,
Are now mutilated at the seams, imagine that,
And imagine that, now you're dead, dead, dead,
dead, dead, blood red, you've lost your head.

You're falling faster, you wish you hadn't been bad now,
I told you I'll show you where the bad ones go,
You didn't believe me the slightest bit, but you should,
If you knew this world like me, you'd **** yourself, you would.

End it all, end it all before it gets any worse,
But it's going to continue to hurt, you're going to continue to bleed,
I hope your fears are scary, tears are red, hopes are dead,
Don't look at me, you heard what I said.

I hope your hopes are dead.
You left me dead.
I'll show you where the bad ones go.
You left me dead.

-qtsp- 5/24

Promises pt. 2

“I promise I'll
do my best
to make
you stay.”

I knew this
already, but
I like to hear
you say it.

“I promise to
try and work
things out
instead of
being stubborn.”

I've been trying
to do that for
awhile and I
think I've got
the hang of it.

“I promise I
won't ever let
you go
to
sleep
mad or sad.”

I like that
because
I don't
like
to
be mad at you.

“You're so
good to me.
I hope you
know that.”

I hope you
know that.

-qtsp- 5/23

you said so many things,
i held close all the things you'd say:
from meaningless words to things about the day;
from i hate you to i love you in every single way;
from good bye, i'm leaving, okay;
you said so many things,
i wish you would have said you'd stay.
-qtsp- 6/15

I'll show you where the bad ones go,
Land of nightmares and submarines,
Submerging you into the ocean of your tears,
You'll be wrapped in a blanket of your biggest fears.

The trees whisper your secrets, they see everything,
The clouds cry tears for you, but their tears, acid,
And you'll drown in their misery for your misery,
You'll forever scream, “Can't you see what you've done to me?”

The things in your dreams, imagine them,
Are now mutilated at the seams, imagine that,
And imagine that, now you're dead, dead, dead,
dead, dead, blood red, you've lost your head.

You're falling faster, you wish you hadn't been bad now,
I told you I'll show you where the bad ones go,
You didn't believe me the slightest bit, but you should,
If you knew this world like me, you'd **** yourself, you would.

End it all, end it all before it gets any worse,
But it's going to continue to hurt, you're going to continue to bleed,
I hope your fears are scary, tears are red, hopes are dead,
Don't look at me, you heard what I said.

I hope your hopes are dead.
You left me dead.
I'll show you where the bad ones go.
You left me dead.

-qtsp- 5/24

Someone

It's the most
alone feeling
laying in bed
beside someone,
crying.

It's worse thinking
about missing someone,
kissing someone,
1,076 miles away.

It's the worst
when that
someone
won't be home
for another month.

So all you can do
is cry while
you sleep beside
someone,
someone
you don't love.

-qtsp- 5/20

Since you left
I spend most
of my time
sitting in my car,
listening to those
sad radio songs
that make your
heart go numb.

I only go inside
when I go to shower
and even then
I leave my car radio
on and loud so I can
hear the songs
through the window
and can cry along
with the other
broken souls.

-qtsp- 6/14