Oh, Prue she has a patient man,
  And Joan a gentle lover,
And Agatha’s Arth’ is a hug-the-hearth,—
  But my true love’s a rover!

Mig, her man’s as good as cheese
  And honest as a briar,
Sue tells her love what he’s thinking of,—
  But my dear lad’s a liar!

Oh, Sue and Prue and Agatha
  Are thick with Mig and Joan!
They bite their threads and shake their heads
  And gnaw my name like a bone;

And Prue says, “Mine’s a patient man,
  As never snaps me up,”

And Agatha, “Arth’ is a hug-the-hearth,
  Could live content in a cup,”

Sue’s man’s mind is like good jell—
  All one color, and clear—
And Mig’s no call to think at all
  What’s to come next year,

While Joan makes boast of a gentle lad,
  That’s troubled with that and this;—
But they all would give the life they live
  For a look from the man I kiss!

Cold he slants his eyes about,
  And few enough’s his choice,—
Though he’d slip me clean for a nun, or a queen,
  Or a beggar with knots in her voice,—

And Agatha will turn awake
  While her good man sleeps sound,
And Mig and Sue and Joan and Prue
  Will hear the clock strike round,

For Prue she has a patient man,
  As asks not when or why,

And Mig and Sue have naught to do
  But peep who’s passing by,

Joan is paired with a putterer
  That bastes and tastes and salts,
And Agatha’s Arth’ is a hug-the-hearth,—
  But my true love is false!

THE WODEN WESTFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE




SUE’   HI AND WELCOME TO THE WODEN WESTFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE

MARKING THE START OF SANTA’S JOURNEY, HERE, AND AT PRESENT

THEY ARE CLEANING THE FLOOR WAY, SO THEIR AIN’T ANY ACCIDENTS, MATE

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS HAS PETE WITH A CAROLD FROM US

PETE’  WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

OH YEAH A JOLLY CHRISTMAS

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

IN THE SOUTH OF CANBERRA TODAY

GOOD PRESENTS WE’LL GIVE

TO EACH OF OUR KIDS

YPU SEE WE WISH YOU A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AT

WODEN WESTFIELD TODAY

SUE’   THAT WAS A GREAT SONG AND NOW

HERE IS ANOTHER CAROL FROM PRUE

PRUE’   OH YEAH THE CHRISTMAS BELLS

OH ******* WHERE ARE THE KIDDIES

I CAN’T FIND THEM OH NO

AND THEN AS I WALK AROUND WOOLWORTHS YEAH

I FOUND MY KIDDIES, YEAH I DID

EATING CHOCOLATE AND MOTHER HAD TO PAY THE BILL YET AGAIN

SUE’  ME SUE LONGWAYS WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS BREAK BOBBYE SANTA LAND

THE KIDDIES ARE HERE

PART 2
SUE’   AND WELCOME BACK TO THE FRESH FOOD SECTION OF WODEN WESTFIELD AWAITING

THE START OF THE SANTA CLAUS PARADE

AND WHILE WE ARE WAITING, NEVER HESITATING WE ARE REALLY REALLY WAITING

TO START IT, HERE IS A YOUNG DUDE JINGLE BELLS, FROM BILLY

BILLY’  YO DUDES, WE ARE DASHING THRU THE EARTH, LIKE A YO SURFER SHARK

WITH ALL THE PRESENTS IN THE BACK, AND A GREAT BIG DOG THAT BARKS

YO LEAVE ME ALONE YA DOG

I WANT TO SEND YO SURFER TO SWIM

ON EVERY BEACH OF THIS GREAT BIG WORLD

AND RIDE THEV WAVES, THAT’S GREAT

JINGLE BELLS YO JINGLE BELLS

THE CHRISTMAS SHARK HAS COME

TO GIVE THE KIDS AND ADULTS GIFTS

AND ***** TO GET US BLIND

YA SEE WE HAVE XXXX AND VB TOO

AS WELL AS CHAMPAGNE YIPPEE I AY

YEAH THESE JINGLE BELLS ARE  RINGING DUDES

YEAH ON THIS CHRISTMAS DAY

YO, YA HERE THE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ARE RINGING WITH A LOUD SONG

AND THE REINDEER DOES A **** IN THE PADDOCK

AND BOY DOES IT MAKE A PONG

YA SEE YO SURFER SHARK IS COMING UP TO SAY

OH WHAT A WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR WE HAVE

I WANT TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

JINGLE BELLS YO JINGKE BELLS

THE CHRISTMAS SHARK HAS COME

TO GIVE ALL THE KIDS AND ADULTS GIFTS

AND ***** TO GET US BLIND

SUE’    SORRY BILLYI MUST STOP YOU NOW, AS THE PARADE

HAS STARTED, WITHN A MONSTERLOOKING REALLY COOL

AND A FEW KABGAROOS AND REINDEERS AND A MARCHING BAND

AND ALSO SANTA WITH A BEAUTIFUL MRS CLAUS

THAT THIS CITY JAS EVER SEEN, AND WESTFIELD WODEN, IS COMING ALIVE

WITH HEAPS OF CHRISTMAS CHEER, AND THE MONSTER ISN’T A MONSTER

IT’S AN ALLIGATOR, OR EVEN SHREK, ******* LOOKS LIKE SHREK

YEAH IT’S RADICALLY AWESOME, AND THERE ARE A FEW PRETTY CHEER GIRLS

AND ALL THE BLOKES SAY, THEY ARE SOOOO HOT BABY

AND MRS CLAUS IS WAVING TO EVERYONE DANCING ALONG HAPPILY

TO EVERY CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYED BY THE GREAT BAND

MAN, SHE IS SWAYING FROM SIDE TO SIDE, DUDES

IT IS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

AND SANTA YELLED OUT, MERRY CHRISTMAS ON THE BOTTOM FLOOR

YEAH THIS IS COOL, AND IT’S THE ALLIGATOR, WHO IS THE FINEST COSTUME ANIMAL

AS WE ARE MAKING A GREAT TRAVEL AROUND THE WODEN WESTFIELD PLAZA

AND I SEE THE ELVES KEEPING CLOSE SHOWING THEIR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

AND EVERYONE IS WAVING THEIR HANDS AS THE PARADE WENT ON

AND WE JUST PASSED A KID WITH A SUPERMAN SUIT ON, HE’S COOOL MAN

YEAH THIS IS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

SANTA GIVES ALL THE MEN CUDDLES AS HE TRIUMPHS THROUGH THE MALL

AND AS WE DRAW TO LINCRAFT ESCULATOR, THEY MOVE ON FORWARD

TO MAKE A STOP AT EPIC HAIR SALON

WHERE THEY MADE A TURN AROUND AND ME SUE LONGWAYS

IS HAVING A WOW OF A TIME

AS THE BIG SHEEP DOGS AND OWNERS, AND THE BEAUTIFUL CHEER GIRLS

AND THEN SANTA PATTED ME SUE LONGWAYS, ON THE SHOULDER

YOUR MY OFF SIDER, SUE LONGWAYS, AS ME SUE LONGWAYS IS WEARING

A SANTA SUIT FOR AAA YOUTUBE TV

AND NOW WE ARE HEADING TO THE ESCULATOR, NEAR THE BIG W ENTRANCE

AND THE BAND PLAY RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER

HAS A VERY SHINY NOSE, AND IF YA EVER SAW IT, YA CAN EVEN SAY IT GLOWS, LIKEW A LIGHT BULB

ALL OF THE OTHER REINDEERS USED TO LAUGH AND CALL HIM NAMES, LIKE PINNOCHIO

THEY NEVER LET POOR RUDOLPH, JOIN IN ANY REINDEER GAMES, LIKE MONOPOLY

AND THEY GET TO THE NEXT DOWN LEVEL; AND THE BAND PLAYED

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS

RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE,BLITZEN AND ***** AND ALL THE REINDEERS

PULLING ON THE REIGNS

AND SANTA AND THE ALLIGATOR AND THE GINGERBREAD MAN WAVED

TO ALL THE KIDDIES AS THEY MAKE IT THROUGH

CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND PEOPLE ARE EATING LUNCH AS

WE ARE PARADING THROUGH THE FOOD COURT, OH YEAH

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS, THINKS THIS IS COOL, MAN

EAT MY FLAMING SHORTS, LIKE BART SIMPSON SAYS

AND SANTA AND THE ALLIGATOR ARE WALKING PAST HUNGRY JACKS AND MACCAS, YEAH MATE YEAH

YA KNOW, HAVING A WOW OF A FLAMING TIME

AND THEN THE BAND PLAYED

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY

YOU BETTER NOT POUT I AM TELLING YOU WHY

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

AND THE REINDEER AND THE ALLIGATOR AND THE CHEER GIRLS, TEEN OR TWEEN, OH YEAH

AND WAVING TO EVERYONE WAVING TO EVERYONE

AND ONE LADY HAS THE GIFTS, SANTA WILL GIVE THE KIDDIES

AS THEY SIT ON HIS KNEES

AND WE PULL UP HERE AT MUFFIN BREAK

AND NOW WE ARRIVE AT SANTA’S WORKSHOP

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS IS EXCITED AS SANTA MEERTS HIS FIRSTKIDS IN THE LINE

ARE THE MOST EXCITIBLE KIDS IN WODEN

AS WE VWATCH THE KIDS EYES COME OUT WITH TOTAL AMAZEMENT

AS THE KIDDIES CHEER SANTA SANTA SANTA OI OI OI

WE ARE CHEERING ON OUR SANTA CLAUS, YEAH AND THE DOGS WALK ON THEIR PAWS

AND THE CROWD GOTN THEIR PHOTOS WITH THE GINGER BREAD MAN

AND NOW HERE IS BOBBHY WITH HIS SONG

BOBBY’   JINGLE BELLS JBATMAN SMELLS

ROBIN LAID AN EGG

THE BATMOBILE LOST IT’S WHEEL

AND THE JOKER GOT AWAY

JINGLE BELLS BATMAN SMELLS

ROBIN FLEW AWAY

WONDER WOMAN LOST HER *****,

FLYING QANTAS AIRWAYS

SUE’   AND WE LOST OUR MAN WHO SANG OUR JINGLE BELLS YOUNG DUDE SONG, SO WE CAN’T BRING HIM ON

BUT IT’S TIME TO GO AND PARTY DOWN IN SANTAS VILLAGE

Sunday morning brumbies


Hello everyone and welcome to Sunday morning brumbies where we are watching the match between the brumbies and the jaguars and here is terry with his jingle

Go the brumbies
You are the best
You will really put the jaguars to the test
You will fight fight fight
Like you will never stop
Go the brumbies
Go go go
You see we are starting to win a few
In the last 2 weeks
We need to win today
To make it very neat
We must win brumbies
We really need it yeah
Let us enjoy your victory
Over a nice cold beer

Thank you terry and now here is Prue with her jingle

Brumbies brumbies brumbies
Oh yeah that is cool
Go the mighty brumbies
Break no rule
The jags won’t know what hit them
At the final siren
The brumbies will play so well, mate
The best they can be
Oh yeah the brumbies
Fight for victory
Fight for victory
If we beat the jaguars
Fight for victory
Fight for victory
We will be the best version of a footy team we could ever be
Go brumbies fight for victory

Thank you Prue and now Sam with his chant

Brumbies clap clap clap
Brumbies clap clap clap
You see as the season is progressing
The brumbies leave their opposition. Second guessing
About whether or not they are good enough to win and win well
Brumbies clap clap clap
Brumbies clap clap clap
We will get close to holding the
Super rugby cup right over their heads
But that is just a pipe dream
First we must beat the jags today
And give the fellas back home
A happy Sunday morning to you

Thank you Sam and now for the first half between the brumbies and jaguars

Welcome back to half time of Sunday morning brumbies and the jaguars hold a very close 2 point lead 17-15
It was a very good match to date and here is Peter cheering along

Brumbies clap clap clap
Brumbies clap clap clap
You see the Saturday night party goers are sleeping in today
Because they partied well last night
Oh yeah we pray
The brumbies are down by just 2
Yes they are playing on our Sunday
Morning which is quite cool
Oops I see someone has awoken
He was a party goer who supports
The brumbies
He was sitting on the couch
But he kept falling asleep
His brain and body fall into a heap
Go brumbies we must win
Show the jags who is boss
Yes we do
Go brumbies we are the best

Thank you Peter and now here is ken

At the end we draw the final curtain
What will be the outcome here
Will the jags hold the lead right
Or are the brumbies good enough
17 to 15 is the score I hope we win
We must fight and fight forever
And we must never never cast the first stone of sin
Go the mighty brumbies
Sunday morning brumbies
Beat the jags beat them well
Do tell us how much you wanna win
****** oath we do

Thanks ken and now the second half between the brumbies and the jaguars

Welcome back to Sunday morning brumbies and I might let Lionel tell you who won

What is wrong with our brumbies team
We lost it 20 to 15
We made too many mistakes mate
That is not good at all
If history has told us much at all
We must reduce our drop *****
But we couldn’t no we didn’t
The brumbies really did fall
What is wrong with brumbies today
They played so ****** ****

Thank you Lionel and here is Daniel with his poem

Fight for victory
The brumbies didn’t do that
We dropped the ball too much mate
Which is a total disgrace
Brumbies are 12 th on the ladder
And they won’t win on my watch
How about we sit down
And talk about what went wrong
You see the brumbies were woeful today they need to pick up their game
Go the jags they won the match
What a win it was

Thank you Daniel and now we have to say goodbye so congratulations to the jaguars over the brumbies here is the final curtain song

And now we draw the final curtain
The brumbies lost but well done to jags
The brumbies made too many mistakes
But take no credit away from jagulars
It was only 5 points though
Our performance saw it more
We must get back to our winning run soon
Or we will look like a pack of *****
See you next time the brumbies play

Jagulars 20
Brumbies.15

'Taiga" she screamed.
Jumping up on the table; embodying a tree.
She kissed me softly.
Between her eyes, a small metal thing.
You have gone beyond the bounds.
Inked only lightly.
Pretending.
An eye and blueberries.
Drew her name in the sand.

mr ronald speckleton, the 1100s magician




you see in  the 1100s, there was this man named ronald speckle ton, who to a lot of people

was a real joker, right from the tender age of 1, he’s the son of peter and prue, who were

too ****** realistic , and in those days realistic was a big thing with no TV an d all.

robert through every day of he teased his mum and dad with silly little practical jokes,

he also put cuffs on his hands and said the police have me in their horse and cart,

can you save me mummy and daddy and then said, the bushrangers have me kidnapped

in their cave, save me, and his father got out the snippers, and boy was he angry, but ronald was having fun

doing this, and, yes, it was under his parents expensive, ronald joined stage coach road trips to try and be noticed

and everyone laughed at his jokes, thinking he was a funny dude, he was a good magician for 5 generations

all of ronald’s friends thought of ronald as being a fun loving guy, who loves the world of magic

and ronald would do clown shows to all of his chums, and all the kids and members of the general public loved him

ronald tried to pull a rabbit out of his hat, it never worked, and the crowd yelled out boooo hiiis boooo hiisss

and ronalds friends and parents said it’s over, but it was fun while it lasted, but ronald was determined to make his magic happen

and then his friends said, how about if you can put on a regular show for the king, and  and ronalds best friend roslyn resin

was given the title of girl being cut in a box, you see roslyn would get in the box, and ronald would put swords in

the box, and yell, abracadabra and roslyn walks away unharmed, and the townsfolk who don’t believe in magic

and then, roslyn resin and brendan schultz were dragged by ronald down to the sea, where ronald tied them up

and threw them in the lake and yelled out ABRACADABRA, but they never escaped, because there was no such thing as magic

both these kids died.   when ronalds parents found out about the body in box experiment, they drove the stage coach away from this weird life, saying ronald

isn’t ready, and they moved into this town where everyone liked ronald except for this bully who hated ronald because, he was brendan schmaltz’s little brother

ronald was determined to get these tough kids to like him, so he showed him his magic tricks, but brendan’s brother said, he will tie you up

and leave you in the ocean, and ronald said, how about we play a game called tie the bully up, but as ronald tried to touch brendan’s brother

he said, get off me ya little freak, and the next day ronald and all his chums were brine watched by a weird predator, who has plans to lock them in his old fashioned dungeon

and then at the stroke of midnight ronald and all his chums were ******* in a stage coach and driven to  the mt georgia volcano, as hot as a

giant oven and ronald escaped from the stage coach just as they stopped, and because there were only 2 people who driving, so ronald ran back up the road, and after two weeks

ronald arrived at his parents den, saying, the other kids were thrown at the volcano and that christmas, when ronald was 12, a man dressed up as santa

kidnapped and murdered ronald, and cut ronalds head off, and threw him to the sharks, and the head was being brought to the stern of the ship, and

i believe the only thing that died in ronald iwas the body, the should will be passed onto each earth body year by year, now, the should is in his latest life, ME

totally cool dude

When Esther Smith and Stella Prue played a prank,
The community speculated who-dunnit,
Quirky, yes, and funny, too, the spinster pair created
Minor havoc in the town and were permitted,
By one and all to set the pace for jokes committed.
When Jebediah Olefson's oldest ward,
Tommy, and his girlfriend, MaryLou,
Moved in together, no one spoke a word,
At least out in the open, but the village knew
A prank to fit events would soon be witted.
One Sunday on their way to church,
Towns people passing by the couple's place
Beheld a sight to make the elders smirk.
A hundred diapers, white and in disgrace, were hung
Upon the couple's drying lines, a piece of work.
No surprise, the two were wed within the month.

This wasn't meant for you not this life. You weren't meant to lose yourself this young and see paradise.

But your soul was brave, so in the next life don't you run and hide. This world just couldn't hold something so prue, take it in stride.

You have given us something that this earth could never tear apart, you put one hundred and ten percent into giving us your heart.

But even that wasn't enough to stay ahead, you did all you can and reached your end, and now you are off to bed.

It pains us to see you go on. You've been alone for along time and now you get to rest eternally at home.

But my heart still aches and with every tear drop there's a new break.

I've lost one already and now I say goodnight to another. Sweets to the sweet, farewell my lover.