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Robin Carretti Jul 2018
This is not, a time to loosen up
Or nine to five job to give up
Just saddle up the power is in you
Five ladies cafe to dine at five and
drove_* the meter is running
(The Canadian Cup) team versus the
     Taxi Cup
He swooned you in your
Five dreamy but half heart sugars
Come on Baby bloomers
Let's see some boom!!

In your hips men will be men taking
frequent flyer trips temptation 1 2345
We need fewer digs one love teo reasons
World  345  heart flags
We don't have to cross our hearts
Perhaps tattoo heart legs no more strikes
Jumping Jack flash
What a rope in this isn't the Pope

Somehow we all get broke
To court her like your the lasso
stars cosmos hearts like Lassie
Never a change of subject how it
remains in your heart how it hit hard
to react but changed to five cards
Digging too long  lucky 777 like heaven
Heart digs

1-where?
Oh! There

No, I am here
We are always  
In-between
numbers_ I only
have 5 minutes
No I phone have a heart
Oh! where is designed for me
Those five plates

Whats in between them
      *Him

We are opening Live- Five
Strong heart to give the caring
The useful heart is never so daring
My gate* Girls are nail digging
Hugging

Or losing add +

Flirty
*****
Our community
Heftier like Jupiter
Heart to build
the gravity
A big kiss hunch
of five roses

Your getting to bloom
but only have
5 extra movie parts
The front dress mermaid tail
Your heart delicate hands
opened up your emails
I think you hit the
Jackpot

Max to the million shot
No heart of gold
Only more leaders
Scrambling and digging
your fork
Mixing those egg beaters

Five men think they know
there women
like ten
commandments
Turn to five wrong
engagements
There it goes the lucky
five arguments

A plot beating
like a hot-shot
The French Baguette
Bread 9 to 5 firecracker
Five-carat baguette
wedding band in her safe
Heart digs to five hands
Heart neck guilty as a giraffe

The cafe house had only
5 cups left  they sold you out
Only Five Bed and breakfast
stayers
Do detailed with their Ladyfingers
But need more alone time
Be on time get sweet key lime
What is real-time so sublime

That rose- paper cut- origami
Sorcerer of five he was like the
cold cuts of big Sub Salami
Japanese sword samurai
What a Geronimo Oh! no
Jericho
This wasn't a hot potato

Or Gizmo No-Go
Getting a shot for Polio
The gusto songs to the heart play
Maestro the Cosmo's
The five stars to heart his
afterglow
Like a titanic ship but heroics

Five lunatics wedding horns ******
Five two timer Mario gamers
so demonic
DOMINO'S bed five students wed
We dug deeper get-up sleepy-head
Exposed cries location set
Network U- dig cups

Something lip curved
He misplaced my lips
What did he do in exchange
More stocks and hard stone rocks
Like frying pan egg
scrambled words

Crossed heart Rapper so believing
The Fox five sticking tacky glue
His CD Rose lying pants no clue
Painful pointed shoes need R&R
     Robin's *Responsibilities
       The Heart On Replay
The deeper you dig to restart

The healthy organically grown brain
Men on Pause I truly believe nature
takes its course
but another beat to go is that so?
And if so heart digs to five
Feel the good vibe in another tribe
Five times I had to wake you up
I am the love cure reminiscing

Giving me five reasons
Our beautiful change of
heart in season

Studying the fine art heart
Referencing
Never refusing thats life
five-step to strive nothing
Fancy

Robin shoutbox she getting
her point across
Either you're the worker or loner
The heart pleaser the boss
Your heart looks good
on your dress
Whether we win or deep mess
The good heart can change to
a bad start

Recharge your heart count to five
Venus- beauty moved on like a
pathologist digging over staying alive
The hearts what digs this is not the 9-5 workers we are talkers
and long settling in heart walkers come any join me we may actually be alive did I get a live one
Toxic yeti Apr 2019
Dearest Ranoldie
I didn’t know that
Someone like you
Ever existed
I have been waiting
To meet some like you
Where we love the same things
In life.
My lady pathologist.
Micheal Wolf Feb 2013
I didn't know her
In the coming hours and days I will
I will know of her travels her dreams
Her passions, her brother her, sisters
Her mother, her father and her best friend
Her boss her colleagues.
I will meet you all,
In turn

You see I don't know her
Though now I'm her only counsel
An honoury counsel if you will
A go between, an artist in some ways
I will paint her picture
I will paint it without compromise
It will be a "still" life not impressions
I will give it my all
I always do

We met only a few hrs ago
The bright sunlight in your flowing hair
Eyes fixed in a warm gaze
A smile, yes a smile
Perfect teeth and jaw
Lips the envy of any model
I never heard your voice
Just your last lost breath
Gone now

I don't know you
Yet now your laid bare before me
In the bright light it seems irreverent
You clothes gone your body cold
Why so young, why on a beautiful morning
Why at all

To work now
The attendant comments "You alone?" he is here
As the pathologist enters my colleague arrives
All here ready to go, and yet each of us I swear pauses
Is it respect for her or shock
So young

I know now
I mean I know the cause of death
I've scribbled dozens of post mortems
As has my exhibits officer, shes the best
The drink drivers, the druged the racers
The limbless the headless biker
All have a story, a reason when flesh divided
***** by ***** the answer presents
This time no different a ruptured aorta
Yet different

Ok done
My notes go to be transcribed
We wash, dress. Hungry? Yeah ok
The pathologist joins us for breakfast
He jokes about a fry up "it will be the death of us"
We eat on, it's dealing with it I guess
A last supper for them in a way
A black closure

The picture? Oh yes
Death by rapid declaration. Not a pretty one
One side perfection the other bones exposed
None of them will see that.
The attendant is a seamstress a consummate professional
They will see a friend a daughter a colleague
Not what we see or how we answer their questions
So many questions

I now know more
An amazing daughter, fabulous friend
And a lost lover who worked late
Partied early but didn't drink
Emotional after a romantic split
Fatigued tired out with colleagues
Tieing one on to forget. How then?
You drove home In the mornings sunlight
Radio on you went a little fast only forty two
Miles per hour that is.
At thirty you may have survived
But not today

Now goodbye
The coroner's verdict accidental death
Tired, fatigued you simply fell asleep
Drifted and weaved, you couldn't see his Uturn
You never saw anything again
It was your turn, my job is done
No other to blame all the canvas used
The full picture painted
I never knew you, yet think of you often
Some you simply don't forget
The needless
The good
The honest
Sleep now
Jey Blu Nov 2018
Amanda confidently made the first incision on the corpse, as she’d done many times before. Starting near the right shoulder, she pulled the scalpel through the layers of tissue down the middle of the abdomen. She bobbed her head as she worked, listening to Where Did the Party Go by Fall Out Boy. The pathologist turned away from the body and pushed her long black hair out of her hands with her wrist. Taking her gloves off, she turned the **** on her speaker. “My old aches become new again, my old friends become exes again…” She hummed the tune while securing her locks in a ponytail. Pausing, she picked up her phone and rewinded the music. She could have sworn she Patrick Stump sing the words, “Woah, where did the body go?” Listening closer this time, she started the song. “Woah, where did the party go?” played through the speaker. She shook her head and took another sip of her coffee.
She gazed at the ceiling, bright lights blinding her suddenly. “Jordan!” She waited for a reply. Nothing. She called again. Flustered, she sighed and looked over at the schedule pinned to the wall. Jordan wasn’t scheduled today, Amanda was the only one. “Then why did the lights- Never mind.” She was obviously just tired. Tugging on another pair of gloves, she picked up a pair of forceps and a scalpel and turned back towards the body. It was gone! She looked behind and underneath the table, thinking it had fallen. It wasn’t there. “****! How am I going to explain this to the family?”
“You can’t.” She jumped at the deep, gravelly voice. “Wh-who are you?” she asked with uncertainty. Amanda was too afraid to look him in the face yet. “That’s not important,” the voice replied. “We need you to come with us.”
“We?” She looked towards the direction of the voice. There were thirteen men in black suits with dark shades standing in formation at the door. “Why? Will you tell me where the body is?”
“Just follow us, ma’am. We’ll explain everything in the car.” She followed them out the door. The man who spoke led her to a black Range Rover with extremely tinted windows. Once they were in the car, the man introduced himself. “I’m Peter C. Schultz. I work with the MIB.”
“MIB? Like in that movie with Will Smith?” She sounded confused.
“Exactly. But we don’t get laser guns.” He smiled, hoping to earn her trust.
She laughed softly and looked out the window. “So was he an alien?”
“Possibly. The craft seems to have removed the body, sensing alien DNA in the area.” Peter looked over his shoulder, quickly pulled out of the parking spot and turned onto the highway. Amanda still wasn’t sure if she was awake. Aliens? MIB? A disappearing body? What if they had taken her instead? All types of thoughts swirled through her head.
They arrived at a large, nondescript building. She hopped out of the range rover and shut her door. The men lead her into the building and down the hall to an interrogation room.
“So, Ms. Browne, tell me. Did you notice any strange noises or lights at the time the body “Um. Yeah, yeah, uh, there was. I was listening to music and the lyrics sounded different. I replayed the track and it sounded normal. There was also a bright flash of light right before I noticed the body was gone. I thought it was my assistant, but they didn’t weren’t on the schedule.”
“We’ve heard of the lyrics changing before. The lights are different, they don’t usually come that close.” Peter sighed.
“Before? You mean to tell me people’s bodies have been stolen by aliens before? What the hell?!? Why doesn’t the government tell us these things?” She started to panic.
“Calm down, Ms. Browne. The MIB has it all under control. Amanda stared him in the eyes. “Really? Because there are BODIES missing! That doesn’t seem under control!” She was yelling at this point.
Peter took a step towards her. She continued to glare at him. All of a sudden, his eyes went black. Amanda was confused. This had to be a dream. A lizard like tongue flicked out of Peter’s mouth. Blood poured out of his mouth and dribbled down his chin. She screamed and tried to run. A hand with sharp long nails and slender blue fingers came up from behind her shoulder and covered her mouth. She was instantly silenced. Another hand pushed her back to her chair, the alien body pressing against her. She forcibly sat down. The hands let go of her. The terrified pathologist tried to scream but didn’t have the ability to even whisper. Peter’s form changed into a tall, blue, thin body with disproportionately long arms and neck. She shook from head to toe, when suddenly she heard a strange voice in her mind. It spoke in alien tongue but she could somehow understand it. It said, “Look into the mirror placed in front of you. Be terrified of what you see and know it is your truth.” With shaky hands, she picked up the piece of reflective glass lying in front of her. Bringing it to her face, she looked at the aliens and then herself. She stared back into cold black eyes. She opened her mouth and could see the lizard tongue curled up between her sharp, pointed teeth. She expected to be scared, but instead felt strangely content. She noticed a new hunger awakening from deep inside her. Amanda stood up and walked over to the aliens. Her own kind. She spoke in the native alien language she now had a name for, Kewalanaei. “Do you have anymore of the body left? I need flesh.” Peter grinned toothily and led her into a room where hundreds of bodies lay. They feasted.
I know this isn't a poem or perfectly edited but its just something I wrote for class and kinda liked. I might start doing more 45 minute writes. Hope you enjoy it :)
Lynda Kerby Dec 2013
ME: gmorn i'm sore but will try walking today
FRIEND: What u sore from?
ME: my whole body aches from every day of the last few weeks
FRIEND: I see. Yes, start slow and do what u can.
ME: Was his death quick and painless or slow and agonizing? Do I want really want to know? Will a forensic pathologist supplying me with his cause of death provide me with that elusive state known as 'closure'??...I wake up but the nightmare never goes away....
FRIEND: :-( , that is very very saddening I don't want to give the wrong idea when I say that I've felt like I could relate to Colton when I hear you talk about him, because I was a pretty messed up kid and was in a lot of trouble, but very high spirited, and when trouble came I wasn't scared, but gave all I had. That's how I think, and I've thought about that.
ME: maybe he died "ok"?? its been 5 yrs but i'm just now feeling it....
FRIEND: Because u always kept hope that he may come home.
ME: ok as in he was brave and knew he was loved...
FRIEND: That is correct. I don't see fear from him. Maybe anger, but I don't fear. If anything he was worried about you, and if you'd be ok. Knowing u wouldnt is what scared him. Now u know, he is home He's been with u 'all this time. I've lived though a couple of those moments, and that's what I thought about, the ones who brought me in this world and my family cause I knew they loved me.
ME: if i had known that night the truth i would have no doubt about it, knowing my state of mind at that time, committed suicide ...it was graciousness that allowed me 5 yrs of slow torture.
FRIEND: <3
ME: you're good ppl
Taylor St Onge May 2014
I’ve been thinking about hands
a lot lately and how fingerprints are like
permanent, foreshadowing tree rings
etched onto our beings; I wonder if
the number of rings on my palms have any
correlation to the number of years I’ll live or
the number of years he’ll live or the number of
years that she lived. I’ve been thinking a lot about
        life lines        and        heart lines
and if there is any stock to be found in palmistry;
I wonder how my fate line got to be
so muddled with my luck line.  

I see my life the way a clairvoyant would:
in cut-up and choppy strips of film—
I should have seen the omens,
I should have read the smoke signals,
I should have recognized the cards.

Act One began on a waning crescent moon
and continued until its gluttonous belly
had swollen with light; I thought to
myself that craniums made of gallium
often melt the quickest, that blood filled
with plutonium often flows the slowest.  I would
have given my body up to the pathologist free of charge,
would have let him dig his hands into my entrails for
some sort of divination, some sort of revelation—
I was never told to beware the Ides of June
nor the Kalends of November.

Act Two began with the birth of Jack Frost
and has been continuing without intermission for
the past four celestial cycles; I thought to
myself that heart valves made of sodium polyacrylate
often love the most, that sinkholes disguised as
fingertips often feel the deepest.  He whispered
in my ear cliched words about not believing in
God, but how I made him feel blessed, and in
that moment I knew he was the oneiromantic being
that had been shadowing my dreams since 1996—
I guess you could say that, sometimes,
I believe in love.

There is an art to fortune-telling
there is an art to hands
there is an art to bones
there is an art to dreams, and over the years,
I have found them coinciding more often
than not.  In my sleep, in notebooks, in
irises, in mirrors, in poetry, in small little sighs.
I do not know if I believe in fate or destiny, in
God, in auras, or in the Blood Moon Prophecy,
but I do know that I believe in you.  I find myself writing
sappy verses and smelling your shirts and I do
not know if it is because I miss you or if it is because
I’m bored or if they’ve somehow
                       mergedintothesamething.  

I’ve been wondering a lot lately about
where you show up on my hands; about where
he showed up and where she showed up.  I want
to know which lines bisect and which lines fall
short; I want to know if the resemblance between
        mother        and         daughter
continues into that of my palm lines.  I want to know
if my life line matches hers and if my heart line
is even worth giving away—

find me in your crystal ball, make me
your sacrificed animal, look for my body
in the stars, and we will know that
        it was all made to be.
divination meets mommy drabbles meets boy drabbles meets words
As lead pathologist
I witness my own work daily,
I caress thoughts of interest,
And bring them here after their demise.
My latest case, my last victim
Witnessed me lead her body astray,
And now in death, ironic yet,
As to whom her murderer now portrays.
I cover my own work,
Though honesty is the best defense,
I can tell them what the killer did first hand
And give no recompense.
-
They found her body where I left it,
Like I hoped and knew they would
I'd seen her the night before last,
And thought they rightly should.
Admiring my moonlight work
In my routine A.M. garb,
What obscenities now here lurk,
On my table unperturbed.
-
I begin the autopsy
Of my latest thirst to "Be"
I consider cryptically
Of acting empathetically
-
I locate the Toe-Tag first
"Good morning, Miss Who-Gives-A-****,"
She had thought sweet Death had saved her then,
But I am far from finished yet.
Familiar adhesions from tightened rope,
Emblazoned on her skinless wrist,
"What a monster," I laughed to myself,
Up and down, I check my list.
-
Five-foot-five makes a short short bride,
Though marriage is laughable at best.
White female, dark hair, black eyes,
Dilated from light's detest.
Ears were cut, and teeth were filed,
Apparently so she couldn't bite,
Nose, bullhooked, extremities slashed,
The little dove lost the hope of flight.
-
I removed her eyes again,
I had cut them out before and replaced
But twisted around upside down,
The corneas now front faced.
I placed them in the chemical solution,
That they would not rot until,
Donated to some poor *******
That I would again cut into
-
Putting a block under her back,
Her chest ready for the famous cut,
Down the throat and to the stem,
I perfect it without much luck.
Science dictates to remove the organs,
An examination of internals in effect,
Rationally and with much vigor,
I notice her spine so stiff and *****.
I staple her ***** of skin aside,
And begin to break her sternum,
I would speak now maybe a poet's words,
But I neglected to learn them.
A gruesome crack echoes throughout
The vastly supplied room herein,
I look up, am lost for a moment,
"Ah...", I begin again.
-
Testing the leverage of her ribcage,
I separate both sides until,
I feel the pressured solemn rage,
Of her bones snapping in two.
Full access now, I gaze within
At her lungs, her viscera,
I gently lay scalpel to heart,
And mutilate her parenchyma.
I'm carried away, I flick blade across
Her heart over and again,
Until a matrix of slashes on it
Does appear within,
A wretched mistake, my first,
"Not everyone's perfect," I laugh,
No time to quench the thirst,
I must fix it before seen by the staff,
I stitch carefully with translucent thread,
Perhaps this ploy may avail,
I believe I've just made my death-bed
My days now numbered and frail.
-
Quickly, I bag and tag her insides,
And rest them aside my table,
I stitch her chest back together,
And leave when I am able,
I plan to run as far along,
As my time can take me,
Perhaps I will find some more dissections,
Perhaps just to sustain me.
Nikole Jewell Apr 2011
The woman sitting
at the adjacent table
has left and the bus boy hasn't noticed.
A fly
could land on
the skin of her milk.

Swirling my tea
The leaves swim
to meet and cling
to other debris
like the orange rind
previously stuck
to my teeth.
I’ve installed
a filter, so as to
preserve
their flavor.

I attended the funeral
of my high school girlfriend
the pathologist told me
there is leathery, plastic
skin
covering every *****
Inside her belly
were waxy
fetal fingers
almost born.

Café is closing
So I empty the contents
of my pocket
hoping the bus boy
will come for me.
Alissa Grinch Feb 2013
You know,
if you are in the darkness
long enough
items acquire
unusual form and content.
You know,
if you wake up in the dark,
it doesn’t become lighter
even in a half an hour,
even when the sun is high overhead.
I'm used to your silhouette in the dark.
Only the monitor and feeble light from the next room
illuminates your face.
I'm afraid when the light is up
I'll see how old you are,
how weak are your hands,
how fragile are your bones.
I'm afraid to be afraid to hurt you.
As if a light touch to the cheek
can break the heart.
We hide under the veil of darkness and drama
and you say, everything will be fine,
yet no one can see our faces.
You know,
when fall asleep under the neon lights,
it reminds of a pathologist’ table,
every night I am revealed
while I dream.
In the morning I am sewed neatly.
Just forget to remove the  tape out of my eyes.
Kim Jong Il Dec 2012
I put my cigarette out on my thick dead skin
I feel no pain, I see no sin
I bleed with ink and ash falls
Off my foggy head.

During the autopsy
Kind pathologist  will find the ashtray
In the web of darkened   arteries
Some other gray day

During my days of eternal physical struggle
The roads of dirt made my feet bleed tears
I’ll go to sleep once I wrap myself with fears
Wk kortas Dec 2016
In my father’s cosmology, God rose late come Sunday morning,
Having wreaked His vengeance by proxy the night before,
And it was a given that we greeted the Sabbath
With whispers and sock-soft tiptoe,
Knowing that his belt (black, wide, thick with implicit warnings)
Hung within easy reach of the bed,
Though sometimes, with no more explanation than
Man alive, what a beautiful world it is today!
Cold cornflake brunches would be postponed
(Our wonder mixed with consternation and rumbling stomachs)
As we would be whisked into the car
In order to sing His praises, our father all but jumping from the car,
Heading toward the preacher at a trot,
Invariably greeting him with Devil’s on holiday, Father,
So here I am
(the church was Lutheran,
Though it could have been a mosque for all he cared.)
He’d sit through the sermon, rapt and at attention,
Alternately scowling and smiling, knitting his brow and nodding,
And then he would corner the incumbent occupant of the pulpit
(He’d have scarcely noticed, if at all, that the leadership of the flock
Often changed hands between our cicada-esque appearances)
Backing him into a wall or against a railing
While he jabbered away, pointing or grabbing a sleeve in punctuation,
Gesturing like some latter-day Prospero, arms ****** Heavenward
To embrace the air, the sky, the whole of the cosmos, amen,
While the pastor’s gaze varied from bemusement to outright horror.
Such occasions were outliers, of course,
Father being much more inclined
To spend his Saturday evenings in un-Christian pursuits
Then stagger home singing a litany of done-me-wrong songs,
And his search for a joyful hundred-proof clarity
Ended before he glimpsed fifty, that being time enough
(So the pathologist noted in his final judgment)
For his liver to become elephantine, his kidneys mere pebbles
(Those effects, be they deleterious or otherwise,
Not listed explicitly nor in the footnotes
Which accompanied the post mortem.)
Robert Ronnow Jan 2016
Problems many of which are not getting solved
not because I'm not resolved but because I delay
to savor the day, the moon and the season
which is why I'm a non-person under the eye of eternity.

Except for my unpaid bills. And iambic pentameter.
Aaron fails English. Is there summer school?
What an *******! I want to slug him, but also
his teacher, Mr. Fisher, who's probably

a nice guy, just doing his job and raising a family.
Then there's the catheter from my last surgery
I was so sick I thought I was dying. The out of network
pathologist and radiologist have declined my insurance

and charged me to the hilt. Like I had a choice
face up in the emergency room. Facing doom, you don't ask questions.
Now that I've rejoined the living I've got to raise a million bucks
to save organic farms and endangered species I'll never see.

Perhaps none of this matters and chanting's the answer, Buddhist
      precepts,
or as Dad would say This too shall pass.
Life is a back and forth game but baseball is zen meditation,
you're in right field, nothing's happening, nothing's gonna happen,

but you can't let your attention wander for one second.
I should clean and oil my trumpet for Saturday's gig
or the valves will stick. And leave early enough
not to get stuck in traffic. Other lives, other quilts.

A guy who takes the subway to a dead metal desk
and the boss who fires him with the cold hard eyes
of one who accepts the rules entirely. Actually
we're fortunate to have rules because otherwise

child soldiers armed with AK-47s would be shooting up
the village and setting fire to our thatched roofs.
Instead, under the rule of law, when snow falls
even old roofs look like problems with proofs.
www.ronnowpoetry.com

--Francis, Robert, "Old Roofs", Collected Poems: 1936-1976, University of Massachusetts Press, 1985.
Julie Grenness Mar 2017
What is a doctor to you,
Is he your guru?
Or does he write a script,
Off to the pharmacist,
Symptoms he treats,
Do healers you meet?
Or does he turf and bounce,
Off for pathologist's amounts,
Then back to the doctor to you,
Is this your local guru?
Then does he turf and bounce,
off to a radiologist's amount,
Then it's all clear,
Good photos of your limbs here,
Time for poisoned jellybeans,
Modern medicine, it seems,
All with a copayment fee,
Is he your guru?
What is a doctor to you?
Feedback welcome,
BAM Oct 2011
Okay, so

I wasn’t really sure what I would say
My first time standing
Or if I could even muster the
Courage to write a new rhyme
So, instead, I decided to let myself go
Listen to these words, and hear my beat flow

Once upon a time
There was a little girl
And in her shiny blonde hair
Laid a few new curls
Curls caused by all the stress
Hidden underneath that fluffy pink dress

But you see, this little girl
Never knew what was wrong with her
She was always smiling and pretty
And always surrounded by others
But deep down, she had a secret
And 16 years later, she couldn’t keep it

Eventually she was going to explode
So she wrote it all down
On her loose leaf skins
And hid it from the town
And just kept on smiling
Hoping to reconnect her wiring

And then one day
The words on the pages fell open
All of her secrets spilled
With the words that were left unspoken
Suicide letters addressed with names
This girl’s life is no longer a game

Because she was done playing
Her pockets filled with posy
As she fell down to the ground
Something had changed
She was done playing around

Now she was exposed
Yet there still remained a question
For some did not believe her
She “made it up”
And she got weaker

And that day she broke down
Her mother believed her
And together they went to a psychologist
Where she didn’t speak
She needed a pathologist

Drugs slipped down her throat
For the next few years
Everyday searching for reasons to live
But he remained to haunt her
She found no reasons to forgive

Eventually she learned to block
Everything her mind saw, locked
Away were the secrets
                Restraining her
Most of the past becomes a blur

Because she won’t remember
And this November?
She’s gonna walk tall
                In her brand new smile
One that will hide her, for awhile

But as she fills herself with false pride
She still remembers the day she died
But she’s good at pretending
                Nothings wrong
For her innocence is long since gone

And now she pushes through
The crowd to meet a person or two
A new person
                That doesn’t know her
Past was full of torture

Now the ***** slips down her throat
Forgetting of the words she wrote
She’s not a ****, but won’t let anyone
                Get close enough
To ever call her smiles bluff

She keeps messing up, leaving loved ones hurt
Yet she can’t seem to hold down her flirt
Or keep the best friends close
                That she keeps on losing
Because of the path she keeps on choosing
Pearson Bolt Mar 2015
we are what
we pretend to be

caricatures of recycled
images and refashioned
motifs masquerading without
pretense of originality

carbon copies in dazzling relief
spun through cycles of roguish
vogue realities

you are what you Tweet

we've seen enlightenment dawn
and watched god die while
the planet relay-raced about
a decaying sun
drifting
children of the Digital Age

words are less than wind
they are fingertips tapping
luminous screens
spineless
lackluster and vain
beyond belief

we run our mouths
while the world burns
here's more Tinder for
the fire of distraction
GoFundMy upstart disaster

vegan hippie child of nature
punk anarchist activist
academic film enthusiast
novelist critic intellectual
psychologist pathologist anthropologist

will we practice a
discourse on delusion
or find solidarity with Sisyphus?

we are what
we pretend to be
-Enjoying the view?
-I'm going to jump.
-Sure.
-Sure?
-Who am I to say you shouldn't jump? Perhaps they deserve it.
-Who?
-The people's hearts you're going to break when you touch water like concrete and dismember yourself. I heard it's painful.
-How do you know?
-I'm a forensic pathologist. I observe dead bodies all day long. I know when something hurts.
-Maybe the external pain wouldn't be as painful.
-As?
-My crushed heart? I know when something hurts, too.
-What did he do to you?
-Love somebody else.
-Then move on.
-I cannot move on.
-Then leave.
-Why?
-So he cannot hurt you anymore.
-The other end of the world isn't far enough.
-No man is worth this kind of hurt.
-This one is.
-No one is.
-I have forgotten how to be happy again.
-Start with a smile.
-*Even smiling breaks my heart.
after pros and cons discussed
     with six grade speech pathologist, she weighed
in favor, to launch stealth offensive
     spring time surprise raid,

which faux analogous military show of force,
     no picnic nor hit parade
though undeniably,
     unequivocally, and unquestionably

     earned the unflagging necessary
     parental consent okayed,
whose unconditional love for welfare
     of this sundered son obvious

     nasal twang genetic mutation made
constituting said congenital defect
     identified as sub
     mucous cleft palate, which laid
waste thine boyhood psyche 

     teased, thwacked, and 
     tormented, skewered, and frayed,
which exacerbated introverted 
     strongly dominant behavioral trait, 
     thus hermetically sealed convenient 
     modus operandi spelled E+V+A+D+E

the madding crowd at all costs,
     (hence quickly felt lured 
     to an emotional brink)
thus from the fountain of death, 

     I wanted to drink
versus putting up my measly 
     (not so hazardous) dukes 
     knocking out cold, every rat fink

though this scaredy pants chose passivity 
     from classmates, a tacit ticket to yawl
to deliver sucker punches 
     (as iz the wont of mean kids), 

     and evoking evoking a 
     not so shabby (nee convincing) 
     impression of a stone wall
albeit rather small

since diminutive slight build another up pall
ling (albeit) physical characteristic suffering offal
bouts of bullying, and sought refuge 
     imagining dragons 
     to beat up punks and maul

every grimacing, leering, questing
monster lurking to brandish brass knuckles 
    upon turning down this, that, 
     or another dimly lit hall 

in part, cuz zam ma pinched 
     onrush of air thru my button nose, a drawl
dangling as perfect prime call
ling card, when only within pendulum 
     swinging in pit of tummy 
     did a horrendous brawl
ensue, yet this haint all

aye wanna write, originally to explain savior 
     in the guise of speech pathologist's aid
introduced tummy upon entering sixth grade
whose intervention laid  

precedent to exercise muscles 
     along inner neck, and played
what appeared as senseless games, 
     plus navigating, regulating, 

     and vocalizing wade
ding thru one book after another 
     while tape recorder thru brickbats un afraid.

an ambivalent flashback now occurs 
     upon forcing mine ears to hear voice
of yours truly, and tis not arrogance, 
     haughtiness, nor orneriness, but aye rejoice 
perfecting good riddance to figurative 
     thorn in muss hide by choice.
Toxic yeti Feb 2019
When they do your
Autopsy
I just hope that the
Pathologist feels
Every waund
I inflict on you
With my ice axe
Being hacked to death
Your immorality
Will be the death
If you
Darling.
Starry Aug 2019
This i remember
Of the grade 8
The teacher did trivia
Games
I got the answer wrong
The kids called me ******
We are smarter than you
What is with the torture
I just wanted to be a forensic pathologist
I up
Leave
See mfers.
And never come back.
EP Robles Apr 2020
EDITORS are pathologist
that dissect the words,
flay the meanings
and remove the guts
-- burn me within
a furnace before
an editorial autopsy

:: 07-28-2014 ::

Rev: 05-20-2018
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
.i can assure you, i don't speak with the same language i write with, being  bilingual, and not some peacock polymath, i do not use this language in my private life... hence? i don't have to play a privacy game, akin to the schizophrenic internet / "real world" (internet banking / shopping?) scenario... i just switch my language... English remains intact online and among strangers... and it's not many English speakers will learn the western Slavic tongue, either... win win.

the "miracle" cure of english
psychiatry, composed of
a speaking, "therapy"?
why isn't the old concept
of pen-palls ever revived?
   can we allow, space, for patients?!
can't we allow for
                 a laps of time?
why was Anne Sexton,
Sylvia Plath, "prescribed" writing
cures...
     mild coal miners of ink?
who the hell needs talking cures?
is talking really any medium
for the allowance of a, "cure"?
i can't believe in talking therapy...
too much nuance,
too many deviating ******
expressions...
         and... **** me!
   the implosion of the psychiatric
practice of dogmatic
   regression-ism...
i.e. implanting false memories
into someone...
i've had that... wunderbar
practice!
  don't **** someone with
pharmacology... instead?
   implant fake memories into them!
with a passive form of
persuasion!
     talking therapy is CRAP!
*******!
       ****-HIT-THE-FAN!
**** MY BIG TOE PRETENDING
IT TO BE A *******
8 YEAR OLD'S PHALLUS!
  *****-****-mother!
what do i believe in?
  talking will not solve it...
    writing?
        to see the face of god,
is to also appear within the medium
of a reciprocation allowing
itself an audience of a shared
experience...
        there was never any talking
therapy...
  to begin with...
          talking sometimes requires
the art of sophistry,
rhetoric, to begin the architecture
of a "solipsistic" membrane...
  writing doesn't suppose this
coordinate, since it presupposes it...
   talking is for idiots,
writing, for those who retain
an article of faith, within the confines
of the multi facet theater
of doubt, without an outright
operatic "inconvenience" of negation...
who thought that talking therapy,
or CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)
would ever work?
   if the basis of CBT is solely
focusing on the quick-hand of
speech?
  if CBT is to work, you'd also need
a SLP (speech-language pathologist)...
supposedly psychiatrists
are learned listeners,
quasi-priests,
   in the secular confessional
booths of sinless confessions...
and yet...
english teachers,
giving grades to pseudo essays,
listen more,
   to their pupils,
having to relax to some miles davis
in the meantime...
     talking "therapy"
is absolute *******...
     if this pseudo-medical profession
becomes nothing more than
corner-street drug pushers,
doesn't escape the "talking cure"...
and doesn't revert back
to pen-pall ergonomics,
   a Hippocratic oath,
beginning with, patience?
   **** them...
              CBT begins with an exchange
of writing...
   speaking to one another
is the last resort...
    an exchange of writing is
allowed a leisure "activity" of
engagement in one's own
periphery...
               allowance...
   not without the stress of...
       the allocated time,
     and the necessary "socialism"
of minding others,
of the similarity of shared problems...
   for a hyperventilating heart,
to drop a heart-shaped stone
into the sea of contradictory emotions...
and wait for
   the oysters to spawn.
Drab Aug 30
The cops were lots, but the docs won out.
They took me and my mum in for years.
The families, the friends, the memories are still here I know...
That’s what matters to me.
August 30th, 2024 – Dedicated to my Uncle Bob (aka “the Doctor Quincy of Orange County”….and Trev and Georgy, three fine people in blue suits), some of the most influential individuals in my life. For those who have strong experiences contrary to on these vocations, my father used to say, “Life is not a bowl of cherries”. (You can finish it if you want)….8<
Starry Aug 2019
When I was younger
I prayed to be
A forensic pathologist

When I was a teenager
I prayered that
The racism and bullying
would stop

Present day
My prayers
Are dedicated to love
Of another.
Self destructive wickedness arrested, convicted, and gaoled...

with kidnapping little boy
ordered to suffer
life sentence without parole.

The deadly scourge of  
one obsessive/compulsive disorder
nearly left me starving to death.

Anorexia nervosa absent bulimia
nadir of onset
diagnoses schizoid personality disorder
severe social anxiety still legion I aire
behavior which agonizingly
elicited slow suicide
courtesy self starvation
maelstrom within psyche of self
as prepubescent lad
(particularly devastated  
immediate family members)
as emaciation pitted existential
revulsion from unseen

wuthering heights
betook courtesy yours truly
teased, hectored, and called “professor,”
when riding the school bus
nearly wrung death knell
annihilating fragile entity
christened Matthew Scott Harris
with peremptory imprimatur
yielding covalent bond to life
readily obvious to kith and kin
via zorro like signature per
profound perilous depressive
psychological state.

Now - at about
three decades plus six years
from attaining rank of centenarian
perfect 20/20 hindsight
offers supreme advantage from
swift current near drowning
alluded earlier when das scribe
juiced thwarted leapfrogging
from pollywog tad metamorphosed
to witness puberty,
whence devastating emotional
crisis tripped, trilled,

and tricked aborted
natural healthy development
chronological denouement demise
jump/kick started
theorizing  numerous educated guesses
within mind of
middle progeny and sole sol
(of the both late father and mother
Boyce and Harriet Harris) respectively
why he willfully hurtled his flesh
at light speed
down the abyss toward death.

Literal and physical lightness of being
manifested within nooks and crannies
prior to full blown symptoms
to eliminate sustenance
drawing the curtain on brief residence
way before high noon of life.
  
Metamorphosis from boyhood
kindled burning man
found solace in attempting
to keep at bay of pigs hijacked
natural cycle, which seminal
transformation grieved me
to pine for nostalgic childhood’s end
(albeit one fraught with romanticism)
vengefully interpreted attempt
to halt dead in the tracks
intervention of mother,
whose nursing experience helped
fend off passive attempt
to promulgate passive
silent plan to fruition.

She whipped various nutritious
concoctions in the blender
to ensure minimal essentials to this,
I readily admit) famished body
in conjunction with applying
vital supplements into
one or the other skeletal
gluteus maximus
thru fuel injection,
which submissiveness to acquiesce,
and bare bony buttocks

to receive iron injections
did absolutely nothing
to squelch death wish.
I inexorably did buzzfeed
hashtagged eating disorder
to go on a deadly hunger strike,
which essentially constituted
declaration of independent control
despite horrendous craving
for food jabbed innards like a pike
bifurcated psychic division

to live ousted coeval death wish goal
to seize yore reminiscent  
blissful, (albeit fictional) childhood
over flooded self made ****** ****
engaging, engendering, engineering
propensity to catapult yours truly
into abysmal emotional hole
and way before the invention
of Facebook, I mentally clicked like
to surrender mailer daemons all
of me healthy development stole.

Imprimatur indelibly etched decades
after bout with passive exit from life
crimp on ******/social skills plus
stunted physical growth cuts like a knife
affecting mental health with panic attacks
and anxiety although existence
considerably less riddled qua
debilitating symptoms
(such as vertigo, racing heart,
profuse sweating, nausea, irritable bowels)

relying on the following prescription medications:
BUSPIRONE HCL 15 MG TABLET
CLOMIPRAMINE 50 MG CAPSULE
CLONAZEPAM 0.5 MG TABLET
FLUOXETINE HCL 40 MG CAPSULE
GLYCOPYRROLATE 2 MG TABLET
PRAZOSIN 1 MG CAPSULE
PRAZOSIN 5 MG CAPSULE
RISPIRIDONE 1 MG TABLET
ROPINIROLE HCL 1 MG TABLET.

To add insult to injury
yours truly also gifted
courtesy split uvula
but did little to ameliorate
the writer of these words
suffering brickbats as scape goat,
whereby severe adenoidal vocalizations
allowed, enabled, and provided
an easy target viz black barbs
poised to strike, hurled,
and bullied me by peers.

Up until I entered six grade
(at Henry Kline elementary -
a one classroom per grade school)
classmates bullied, derided,
and feigned to hammer -
jabbing leering, nasty pimping ragout as a rule
which boyhood self of mine availed
a perfect bullseye target
with combination of diminutiveness,
being painfully quiet,

essentially remaining mum the entire day
except when called upon
to answer question
thence utterance emanating between lips
produced and emitted
a strong nasal sound to boot
grist for the mill
sans malice meted, mimicked,
and mocked mashup
of mine warped congestion
ah, twas only by a fluke conversation,

whence speech pathologist
informed my parents about
The Lancaster cleft palate clinic,
where oral an examination
revealed minor birth defect
identified as a submucous cleft palate,
which explained the severe pinched twang
somewhat mitigated by wearing
a removable prosthetic
fastened with clasps to upper teeth

whereby a makeshift miniature
plastic protuberance closed the gap
(at the expense of practically gagging me)
so air would be prevented
passing thru my button nose,
and thus gentle and soft as a shutterfly
shunted air out oral opening
though congenital defect disallowed
returning merchandise back to sender
nor could blame be affixed

at either father nor mother
who both harbored the genetic mutation
now such admissions
re: aforementioned impediment allows,
enables and provides boasting rights
if in a mood temper
any curiosity or satisfying a rumor
whispered down the alley
whence I said “ah”
left nagging nincompoops
as if pie hole filled with a gobstopper.
Versus me
(chilling as an outsize ego freezer)
profusely perspiring
and heavily panting
experiencing one after another
stuff whet dreams are made
frolicking in autumn mist
(think Maxfield Parrish painting)
while skirt chasing
and playfully tackling,
a gamesome gamine with verve
mercilessly coquettish ingenue
"precociously seductive"
overgrown ****** wannabe.

Solitude and introvertedness
mebbe made more manifest destiny
courtesy severe nasal notable twang
(otherwise known as split uvula)
yours truly wittingly drew taunts
and unutterable pang
to escape being bullied as scapegoat
entering magical world
of mine imagination
fostered learning about
all creatures great and small
by age appropriate books.

Logophile lusts ever stronger after
twenty six letter combinations
(analogously surrendering to mistress)
that yield an estimated 171,146 words
currently in use in the English language;
according to the Oxford English Dictionary,
an additional 47,156 obsolete words exist.

I luxuriate engrossed
with choice reading material
and out of desperation
to slake insatiable thirst
(to discern syllabification)
yours truly doth read aloud
intently hearing cadence
of vowels and consonants.

Up until I entered six grade
(at Henry Kline elementary -
a one classroom per grade - school)
classmates bullied, derided,
and feigned to hammer -
jabbing leering, nasty
pimping ragout as a rule
which boyhood self of mine
availed a perfect bullseye target
with combination of diminutiveness,

being painfully quiet,
essentially remaining mum the entire day
except when called upon to answer question
thence utterance emanating between lips
produced and emitted
a strong nasal sound to boot
grist for the mill
sans malice meted, mimicked,
and mocked mashup
of mine warped congestion

ah, twas only by a fluke conversation,
whence a speech pathologist
informed my parents about
the Lancaster Cleft Palate clinic,
where oral an examination
revealed minor birth defect
identified as a submucous cleft palate,
which explained the severe pinched twang
somewhat mitigated by wearing
a removable prosthetic
fashioned by Prosthodontist

Dr. Mohammad Mazaheri MSC, DDS
fastened with clasps to upper teeth
whereby a makeshift miniature
plastic protuberance closed the gap
so air would be prevented
passing thru my button nose
and thus gentle and soft as a shutterfly
shunted air out thee oral opening
though congenital defect disallowed
returning merchandise back to sender
nor could blame be affixed

at either father nor mother
who both harbored the genetic mutation
now such admissions
re: aforementioned impediment allows,
enables and provides boasting rights
if in a mood to temper
any curiosity or satisfying a rumor
whispered down the alley,
whence I said “ah”
left nagging nincompoops
as if pie hole filled with a gobstopper.
Norbert Tasev Aug 2020
Everyone may see through me: Yet where I intended to go, I may never have been able to achieve it, because man's real goals are elusive and unattainable! I already know your world too well, and yet I fight every day, at least not in my perilous image of shadows so frighteningly that he follows everywhere as a faithful servant in the ring of circuit lanterns.

Selfishly and eagerly, baptized enemies would long to find me: The spotted armor of ignorance — now my refuge, though hardly, and in the last degree, would have been the Silence, the silence, the hopeful return to myself as a second mother tongue!

On the street corners - especially in the cauldron of heatwaves - alcoholic prisoners roar, scurrying. I deliberately close my windows against the vengeful invasion of beetles. I didn't crawl useless and pointless back and forth, as the lunar pathologist can't even guess where he was going: the creepy sounds of the nights were greeted as old acquaintances!

Panel walls forced the free-breathing warmth into prison: Perhaps everyone sees me cynically, and since my childhood, Loneliness has committed and followed me as a silent companion. Behind my window, the sublime and proud mountain giants yawn, spread out over green valleys, like crouching stone hearts: They would secretly call me among themselves to make the meaningless and gutted World a place in which we are forced to live deliberately hermits!
I recall father, (now behold
at near ninety years old - maintains stronghold
on life, cuz born of sturdy mettle -
rumor claims bullion – ne'er did buckle nar fold
meaning bull + lion rolled
together and processed

April 9th, nineteen twenty nine),
fortune teller foretold
envious longevity, perhaps
just shy of eternity
older than anyone polled
occasionally got a bit

short tempered as patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members of Harris household
with me, and timid, meek,
and fawning did scold,
and mother, (who passed away

after completing seventy plus orbits, all told,
sans November 13th, nineteen thirty five),
no matter both parents (more mom)
did abhor applying stronghold
tactics vis a vis corporal punishment,
though the late Harriet Harris, not so gold

din as totally carefree disciplinarian
confessed many moons ex post facto lost hold
of her appreciable tolerance,
than quickly crumbled like broken scaffold
after she spanked this monkey upon bony posterior
(an endearment, but NOT spanking

ever since mama did withhold
though kept pet name, which
ideally suited me as a little boy),
both her hands went limp and cold
apology immediately iterated,
cuz she felt mortified, and sold

reparation with self restraint
against further instances tubby brazenly bold
possibly contributed,
fostered, and inculcated mold
ding mine shy characteristic.

Me, this twangy nasal kid
(courtesy of split uvula we did
discover rather a speech pathologist
six grade minor congenital defect

i.e., submucous cleft palate), aforesaid
I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny

this vulnerability compounded amid
my undersized and socially withdrawn demeanor
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid!
Yours truly (an amazingly,
gracefully, and markedly modest
passively aging baby boomer -
formerly introverted long haired
pencil necked geek),
prattling wordsmith doth behold
nostalgic memories regarding father
(Boyce Brandon Harris)
long ago lapsed decades

during papa's prime time
many years past when complacence
existed about joie de vivre,
and considerations about mortality irrelevant,
where soothsayers promised
our family staying alive for eternity
few and far between instances found me
acting, exhibiting, illustrating brazenly bold
behavior, said rare spontaneity
the exception versus the rule,

hence following poem crafted
an endearment to those who begat me,
resorted to discipline, but NO spanking
ever since mama did cherish her little boy
scores of years before she passed away
at her death hands went limp and cold
as a shy lad his maternal and paternal parents
their virtues he extolled
contrary, now healthy sexagenarian
born of sturdy genetic mettle

rumor claims I suckled magic potion,
cuz courtesy to preventative medicine
mother followed advice
of one Carlton Fredericks,
renown radio commentator
and writer on health and nutrition
ne'er did mine lovely bones buckle,
even when skinny body crushingly embraced
into loving maternal fold,
without doubt mama adored motherhood
and brood of three offspring

harmonized, memorialized, pampered...
the hardworking de facto breadwinner
late twenty something handsome groom fêted
born April 9th, nineteen twenty nine,
Brooklyn fortune teller travails foretold,
when the late Harriet Harris, not so gold
din as totally bewitched, she gamely evinced
controlling authoritarian versus
crooning, marveling, and warbling
regarding once "little monkey" - me,

which pet name no longer applied
shucked off brought to abrupt halt
as yours truly grew up,
and decried childhood's end
I experienced objection to thwart growing up,
and latched unto anorexia nervosa
countless moons ago,
when I biologically, emotionally,  
intellectually, and sexually transitioned
into socially withdrawn young man,
once indomitable omnipotent

mother/son bond ex post facto lost hold,
where once applicable theme
exemplifying Harris household
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
dramatically, markedly plummeting
formerly measurable appreciable tolerance,
similarly short tempered patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members,
especially toward singular male offspring

timid, meek, and demure (effeminate) me,
essentially ruled the roost
regarding Harris household
sole son characterized vis a vis
presented passive resistant
outward nonestablishmentarian mold
worst case scenario
would hypothetically witness
Matthew Scott Harris
spending longevity old and feeble minded
at 324 Level Road

outliving parents, pets
(comprising inordinate
number of dust bunnies) and siblings,
both caring and concerned girls
(an older and younger sister),
the latter whose globetrotting exploits I envied,
nevertheless yours truly
speculatively imagined himself
to have outlived anyone polled
even Methuselah, where mein kampf
blissful, fanciful, nouveau poet
nearly long forgotten boyhood charade,
facade inlaid masquerade

analogously crumbled like broken scaffold
attaining centenarian years old -
faintly maintaining umbilical stronghold
considerably surpassing mommy dearest,
born November 13th, nineteen thirty five,
yet moments before her passing
she barely audibly apologized
for occasions she did reprimand and scold
retaliated against grim reaper,
he whisked her diseased riddled body away
after completing approximately
seventy plus orbits, all told.

I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny
bullying vulnerability compounded amid
courtesy of split uvula set me apart
alien as a Druid livingsocial
during latter half of twentieth
and first two plus decades
of twenty first century
rather a speech pathologist
informed legal biological guardians

regarding Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic
minor congenital defect when
attending sixth grade at
Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
i.e., submucous cleft palate, aforesaid
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid
me, this twangy nasal kid
my undersized and socially
withdrawn demeanor contributing
to existence tumultuous and turbid.

Extreme shyness demeanor
did heavily exhibit
as if burdened with a yoke
linkedin with anatomical diminutiveness
punctuated with aforementioned
pinched nose adenoidal sound,
quite obvious when I infrequently spoke
conveniently availed himself
as cannon fodder i.e. scapegoat to bullies
as a socially withdrawn pre/
post pubescent slowpoke.
Yours truly (an amazingly,
gracefully, and markedly modest
passively aging baby boomer -
formerly introverted long haired
pencil necked geek),
prattling wordsmith doth behold
nostalgic memories regarding father
(Boyce Brandon Harris)
long ago lapsed decades

during papa's prime time
many years past when complacence
existed about joie de vivre,
and considerations about mortality irrelevant,
where soothsayers promised
our family staying alive for eternity
few and far between instances found me
acting, exhibiting, illustrating brazenly bold
behavior, said rare spontaneity
the exception versus the rule,

hence following poem crafted
an endearment to those who begat me,
resorted to discipline, but NO spanking
ever since mama did cherish her little boy
scores of years before she passed away
at her death hands went limp and cold
as a shy lad his maternal and paternal parents
their virtues he extolled
contrary,  now healthy sexagenarian
born of sturdy genetic mettle

rumor claims I suckled magic potion,
cuz courtesy to preventative medicine
mother followed advice of Carlton Fredericks,
renown radio commentator
and writer on health and nutrition
ne'er did mine lovely bones buckle,
even when skinny body crushingly embraced
into loving maternal fold,
without doubt mama adored motherhood
and brood of three offspring

harmonized, memorialized, pampered...
the hardworking de facto breadwinner
late twenty something handsome groom fêted
born April 9th, nineteen twenty nine,
Brooklyn fortune teller travails foretold,
when the late Harriet Harris, not so gold
din as totally bewitched, she gamely evinced
controlling authoritarian versus
crooning, marveling, and warbling
regarding once "little monkey" - me,

which pet name no longer applied
shucked off brought to abrupt halt
as yours truly grew up,
and decried childhood's end
I experienced objection to thwart growing up,
and latched unto anorexia nervosa
countless moons ago,
when I biologically, emotionally sexually transitioned 
into socially withdrawn young man,
once indomitable omnipotent

mother/son bond ex post facto lost hold,
where once applicable theme
exemplifying Harris household
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
dramatically, markedly plummeting
formerly measurable appreciable tolerance,
similarly short tempered patriarch
( ~6'2” ~ 200 lbs at prime)
over any five members,
especially toward singular male offspring

timid, meek, and demure (effeminate) me,
essentially ruled the roost
regarding Harris household
sole son characterized vis a vis
presented passive resistant
outward nonestablishmentarian mold
worst case scenario
would witness Matthew Scott Harris
spending longevity old and feeble minded
at 324 Level Road

outliving parents, pets
(comprising inordinate
number of dust bunnies) and siblings
(an older and younger sister),
the latter whose globetrotting exploits I envied,
nevertheless outlived anyone polled
even Methuselah, where mein kampf
blissful, fanciful, nouveau poet
nearly long forgotten boyhood charade,
facade inlaid masquerade

crumbled like broken scaffold
attaining centenarian years old -
faintly maintaining umbilical stronghold
considerably surpassing mommy dearest,
born November 13th, nineteen thirty five,
yet moments before her passing
she barely audibly apologized
for occasions she did reprimand and scold
retaliated against grim reaper,
he whisked her diseased riddled body away
after completing seventy plus orbits, all told.

I experienced interminable
relentlessly psyche burning acrid
tormenting, teasing, and talking funny
bullying vulnerability compounded amid
courtesy of split uvula set me apart
alien as a Druid livingsocial
during latter half of twentieth
and first two decades of twenty first century
rather a speech pathologist
informed legal biological guardians

regarding Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic
minor congenital defect when
attending sixth grade at
Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
i.e., submucous cleft palate, aforesaid
whereby every day akin getting scorched
by some "NON FAKE" ironclad grid
me, this twangy nasal kid
my undersized and socially
withdrawn demeanor contributing
to existence tumultuous and turbid.
Drab Nov 3
Understudy of a forensic Pathologist.
Drug addict (when physically addicted).                    
Except for the entire seventies.
Alcoholic, (there is a difference you know).                
Liar.
Cheat.
Thief, so they tell me.
I just feel.

That’s all it is.

Thinking hurts.

Feelings too.

I’ll take the latter at this point.
Or the ladder.
notes - somebody call the "waaaaahm - bu- lance". Great line from a movie I loved

— The End —