Okay, so
I wasn’t really sure what I would say
My first time standing
Or if I could even muster the
Courage to write a new rhyme
So, instead, I decided to let myself go
Listen to these words, and hear my beat flow
Once upon a time
There was a little girl
And in her shiny blonde hair
Laid a few new curls
Curls caused by all the stress
Hidden underneath that fluffy pink dress
But you see, this little girl
Never knew what was wrong with her
She was always smiling and pretty
And always surrounded by others
But deep down, she had a secret
And 16 years later, she couldn’t keep it
Eventually she was going to explode
So she wrote it all down
On her loose leaf skins
And hid it from the town
And just kept on smiling
Hoping to reconnect her wiring
And then one day
The words on the pages fell open
All of her secrets spilled
With the words that were left unspoken
Suicide letters addressed with names
This girl’s life is no longer a game
Because she was done playing
Her pockets filled with posy
As she fell down to the ground
Something had changed
She was done playing around
Now she was exposed
Yet there still remained a question
For some did not believe her
She “made it up”
And she got weaker
And that day she broke down
Her mother believed her
And together they went to a psychologist
Where she didn’t speak
She needed a pathologist
Drugs slipped down her throat
For the next few years
Everyday searching for reasons to live
But he remained to haunt her
She found no reasons to forgive
Eventually she learned to block
Everything her mind saw, locked
Away were the secrets
Restraining her
Most of the past becomes a blur
Because she won’t remember
And this November?
She’s gonna walk tall
In her brand new smile
One that will hide her, for awhile
But as she fills herself with false pride
She still remembers the day she died
But she’s good at pretending
Nothings wrong
For her innocence is long since gone
And now she pushes through
The crowd to meet a person or two
A new person
That doesn’t know her
Past was full of torture
Now the vodka slips down her throat
Forgetting of the words she wrote
She’s not a slut, but won’t let anyone
Get close enough
To ever call her smiles bluff
She keeps messing up, leaving loved ones hurt
Yet she can’t seem to hold down her flirt
Or keep the best friends close
That she keeps on losing
Because of the path she keeps on choosing