you expect me to care what you do,what you say, what you think,
why?
because you are so use to being judged, because you are so use to being told that that's wrong, not right for you to say, for you to think that,
you expect me to me botherd by your threats,
why?
because you are so use to being scared yourself, because you are so use to not being you out of simple cowardicity, because you are so use to feeding off thoose of the weak you expect us to back down,
you  expect me to scream back in your face,
why?
because so many do that regularly, because you want me to sinnk to your level, because you simply want someone to relate to, someone to be in the same boat as you,
you expect me to rrun away,
why?
because you think you don't deserve what every human does, because you think that if you get help, that if i wanted to help, that you would let me down, because that is what you have been trained to do your entire life, let people down, because you have said no so many times wishing someone would say i know you want to say yes, because you yourself have ran away,
you expect me to stop, and look, and ask what's wrong?
why?
because you think you deserve help, because you think you are lower than i, because you think that i should simply pity you because you are the way you are, because you are in the circumstances you think you are in, because you assume i am a good person,
you expect me to do the right thing,to not betray you,
why?
because you have been cradeld, because you are so naieve, because you have been taught that people in my position ofpower are all good, are to be trusted, are to be romodels to look up to, because you simply want to be right,
you expect me to be loyal, to not lie, to want to be responsible,
why?
because that is what you have been taught is morally correct, because that is what you have been taught is what you must be to go far in life,
you think you are ugly, disgusting,
why?
because you have been told that you are ugly, because you have beentold that people who say you are oretty are lying, because you have been trained, forced, to believe that this is what' s beautiful, that this is whats ugly,
you expect people to care, people to be "good", people to betray you, you expect people to think your ugly, you expect people to say no, to say yes, you expect people to want to strive for better, you expect to be or not to be disapointed,
why?
because your brain was set that opne thing is ight one thing is worng, that you must reach standards to be "good" or to be "bad, because that is wat you have only ever known, because human's are human's. and we are our future death, and we are what will **** this earth, and we are what kills each other, and we are what makes each other happy, and whether we think we are good or bad, whether we need this or thtt it is ecause of society's standards, because of society's rules inwhich "must be obeyed" but what if the true fun part of life is breaking thoose rules, crushing thoose standards, an recreating something that isn't what we have known always.

you picked at the scars.
you opened the wounds.
to all the pain,
that i have been through.
you see what you want to see.
but you don't see the real me.
you don't see the demons dying inside of me.
im hiding my pain
but there's no one to blame.
refusing all help,
pretending all is well.
but inside i'm screaming
my heart is bleeding.
my body is a shell.
my soul is in hell.
but i'll keep biting my tongue
until my time is done.
i always wnted to be the opne you wanted.
always wanted to be the one you needed.
but it seems as though
i've lost control
of everything that i have put on hold.
there's many times i've cried in the dark.
because my world was falling apart.
many restless nights,
times in sleep that i would fight.
you say to stop crying
but there's no point in trying.
with every smile that i fake.
it's another stab that i take.
i laugh
but nothing is funny.
like a river
my tears are flowing.
im saying that im getting better
but it's all a lie.
with all the advice i feel closer to dying.
i feel so insecure.
lost without a train of thought.
lost inside my own mind.
in these ropes of depression im bind.
i dont want you to be scared.
i already am.
possession takes over me.
with no escape.
all hope is going down the drain.
i cut
and i bleed
with no expression.
its not the depression.
it's me.
im gone.
im fading away.
where am i going?
i cannot say.
but inside this shell,
im fading away.
im running.
im running
with no control
of where im going.
save me.
save me!
save me from myself!
i want you to save me
but i dont want your help.
this shell won't hold tight for long.
it won't be too long before
im gone.
one day im gonna hit the right vein.
and there will be no one to save.
ill be gone
in a heartbeat.
listen to my heart but it wont beat.
im dead.
im dead!
did you hear me?
of course you didn't.
the sound of my cries are completely forbidden.
im crying. im crying loud!
but you dont hear a sound.
im not afraid of dying.
im afraid of living.
what ami?
who am i?
where am i?
im not Paris.
i'm an alias.
Jane Doe. who am i?
the world will never know.
slicing my wrist.
river of blood swish.
tick. tock.
tick.
the world is crashing.
the walls are closing.
something's taking over me.
i can't fight it.
but im not trying.
save me....
SAVE ME!
LET. ME. DIE.!