it wasn't like we didn't know what was right or wrong
but sitting under abandoned structures at two in the morning,
talking about work, money and betrayal felt like neither.

i held the big bottle of beer for the first time
while stretching it out to her.
"Add ciga join oga", was her next response.
so i pulled it out from inside the pack. her pack.

"who you be? you be pastor?
why you come? you dey n.g.o?
abi you dey dea dey form good boy
siddon dea!"

so she blew out some smoke from her mouth,
blew what was left out of her nostrils
took another sip from the green bottle
some spilling off the side of her mouth
she scratched her back and waited for the next line

we managed to talk about what we did in the day.
i, a popular janitor, for better job to hang on to.
she, trader in Brazilian hair, owed by all her friends.
but i admitted being jobless at night
while she pleased other men for cash.

so she blew out some smoke from her mouth,
blew what was left out of her nostrils
took another sip from the green bottle
some spilling off the side of her mouth
she scratched her back and waited for the next line

"teach me facebook", she said
putting the sudden silence to shame.
so i grabbed her phone with in disgust,
but with plenty of curiosity,
while wondering what i was doing here.
"na ikenna send me dis fone"

so she shows me ikennas picture.
a young man with another woman beside her.
i quickly flipped through other pictures and messages.
some were about fights, some about clubs,
the others about robberies.

she blew out some smoke from her mouth,
i stand to go. so she asks, 'you go come shrine,
fela shrine tomorrow?'
with a smile only familiar friends can read, i accepted.

afterwards, she told the security men to let me go.
'na my friend'. a wicked smile scratched on the faces
of these men who stood for balogun street's security.
and we were friends. familiar friends.

many months have passed,
i blow the heat from my lungs with a sigh
i scratched my back and wait for this memory to erase.
what was i doing there?

'Oga, wetin you bring come na'
Nothing, sorry.

'My broda, what do you have for us'
Love, only love.

'Where is my morning coffee?'
Pardon? I'm not a café.

Where did you bury it?
Your shame, your conscience?
It must be somewhere dark and deep.
Where  you are haunted by dreamless sleep.

Some with a uniform, some with a gun
Some with a smile, with a glint of fun.
All with hands outstretched, seeking, begging
Asking, threatening.
So much coded, yet crystal intent.

It has spread all over, from the janitor to the judge
All that is different are the sums and the styles.
Corruption corrupts all. It condemns all.

Yet, it spreads further, fertilised by impunity.
Fed by the hopelessness of 'how things are'
They sell their integrity for pennies,
They sell us all out for what I spend on toilet paper.

Where did you bury it?
Your future and that of your children?
What price their integrity?
What cost the impunity?

At the mention of DNA test
Some softwares trip
Cool child runs within them
None is ever sure of a firing
Afterall, sharp shooters still miss fire
If you aren't afraid of scans
To determine our child's sexuality
What is the ruse about DNA test?

Not all women are infidels
There are evil practitioners
Intentionally they swap babies
Like guys swap girlfriends
What makes you so sure
That you are your father's  child
This table is not only shaking
I hope to break the legs

When my ***** travels through the epididymis
Direct into the vas deferens
From the seminiferous tubules
Am I even sure it is *****?
It could be mere "Ogi"
How do you impregnate a software?
While you are plagued with erectile dysfunction?
Ladies beware, impotent men abound

Wait, don't go nowhere
"I never finish with you"
When your arteries are plagued
You can never "Do The Do"
It is called atherosclerosis
*** is intended for pleasure
And for procreation my friend
Don't be called Daddy by another's child
Let us all seek full medical check up

When married women slay
They turn real side chicks
Especially the married but single
Even Solomon in his prime
Cannot match their ******
They drive in their cars
And just flash you twice
If you can decipher the code
"You go just dey clean the playhead"
While real Oga hussles for the family

No time to check time
One month after birth
Conduct proper DNA test
Let us settle this thing once
But be sure of your generator of generations
That it is working in full capacity
To avoid stories that touches the heart
Don't say i didn't warn you

That goodbye *** with your ex
The night vigils with loud loans
With "Ekwueme" at the background
The client you shagged for the cheque
The MD you seduced for that account
The "thing" might have entered
Don't give it to another man
It is pure evil
A day of reckoning looms

Terrible days are here
The devil was once a saint
If you already said "Yes"
Please honour your vows
Infidelity is now a norm
Moral decadence on both sides
Married women are now real side babes
Behind that beauty may be a Delilah

If you ever discover the smoke screen
Please be magnanimous...
Your escapades with your colleagues
Your secretaries and personal assistants
Your time-out with church and mosque workers
Your sins might have visited
This time, though your wife
Whatever you sow, you reap
Karma is very real

With the rapid wave of technology
DNA will soon be like BVN
Just like the XYZ test in government hospitals
It will be made compulsory
And help us demystify this mystery
But if you are very sure
That your father is your father
Am I really sure?
That my child is child?
DNA Test, are you sure you are the Daddy?