When im sitting in the back of your car
And more than god wants to create I want to look into the rear view just to see your eyes.
But I can't look,
because what if I look and your eyes and they aren't looking at mine,
on top of that,
what if you aren't looking at me, because right now I need your attention,
I crave it like blood.
but I obstain like kryptonite.
just the sight of you not keeping me in your sights,
Alone,
In the car with you.
That fills me with an insignificance as insignificant as the star you passed on when you made a wish;
And I can't risk to feel that.
So I obstain from that,
out of preservation

It's getting old;
these anecdotes
of grief and pain.
Solutions silenced
to entertain.
Yet who am I
to obstain
when 6 years ago
feels like yesterday.
Chasing echos of laughter
as you fade away
into our past;
into my future.
Older than you,
but born as your junior.
I'd let the wound heal,
but I'd rather tear out the sutures.
Dabbling with the same mentality
that turned you into a user.
Oh Brother,
Oh Brother,
I'm addicted to
my memories of you.
Pausing my cause
to reflect on your loss.
And I'm still here,
6 years later,
motionless in fear.
Trying to make sense,
while refusing to forget
what I can't quite remember.

I have my hand on a chain
I am pulled along and the drain is insane
I can't obstain or restrain the pain I feel as I am dragged alond the feild
But I won't let it go, I won't let you steal the way I feel
make a meal of me, and then say it wasn't a big deal  
My body is battered and broken, and I am always beholden  
I have more to do as my time is always  bespoken  
The chain is harder and harder to hold on
and way is harder and harder to forge on.  
I am tiered and honestly, sometimes I  don't feel as if I can go on  

But I won't let go

Because i refuse to let the world know  
That it has beaten me
I won't let that dept grow nor will I ever slow.  
I will meet you blow for blow  
from the tides of spring to winters snow  
As the acorn falls and the rains do flow
And you will watch that oak tree grow
from a sapling as you and I are grappling
You won't understand what is happening.  
You will think that I am a creature of  some crazy fantacy.  

Why do I go on, I couldn't tell you.
Death just seems more fun if only I knew how to
But this heart of mine just keeps beating  
And I just continue living and my hand keeps on gripping
and I will be ****** if I just up and leave it.

I am a molded wreking ball
unhappy unless I am wrecking
For when I am not, I am only a ball
even the wrecking part of my name just falls  
And  whats the point of being just a ball
For when I was created I was called the wrecking ball

My pourpose is in my duty
My duty is in my pourpose  
and whats worse, the course I am on
would be gone without this chain  
So how can I complain even when I am in pain
Without this chain I would be plain  
I would be a ball detached from the crain.

So go on, and I will hold on

Mud is the word of gods.


You only are afforded fungus if you can knaw on your sisters ankle.




The world is raw.

And we can not let you be nothing.

You're strong.

and perfect.


I'm sorry.

Have our food.

I get it.
you're perfect.
We do what we can.

I span over gravy trains.

Other than that.... Just be a superhero.

Obstain.

Enjoy your muscle density and fast hearts.