Momma If I spoke to you would you listen
Even If I said I didn't think my heart could heal anymore

Momma don't you know that I don't feel anymore
That i don't even know what's real. Anymore
Roads getting bumpy but Jesus won't take the ******* wheel anymore
I don't want to breathe no more

Momma would you still love me
Even If you couldn't love yourself
Even tho I'm not who I was before
How did I get so self obsorbed
Can't even save myself from me

Momma don't try and remember who I used to be
Cas Try and try but I don't think I'll ever see
Anything remotely close to me
Your all that's left in me

Momma don't look at me
I'm begging you please
Cas I can't handle the fear In your eyes
Shining through deep inside of my lies
Swimming through feelings now numb and unwise
Can't see through my cleverly constructed  disguise

Momma don't hate yourself for these sins In me
There not your responsibility when there inside of me
I'm scared to death one day you'll run n hide from me
You dont know what I really need
I'm just a broken seed
No hope of flowering

Momma don't you hug me
Youll catch my disease
I'm not worthy
Of your endless loving me
I'm drowning in my own ****
God you must think I'm a *****

Momma Don't you cry over me
Your tears bring me to my knees
I don't want live
Cas I can't stop hurting you
And love is all you ever seem to give into

Momma don't you think that I don't love you
Im messed up broken old n used
My love is there I just don't know how to show it
Why am i here Momma I'm all confused
Every woman right in front of me your still the only one Id choose
As for me seems I'm always a lose
I ******* love you
I need you
Look at just what my greed can do
I wish I couldn't ******* read you
Disappointments on your face
And it's stapled to my waist
Stuck down in a place
I wish I couldn't decieve you

Momma don't you break for me
Just take a break from me
It's what's best for you can't you see
You did not sign up for this you can't afford my hidden fee
Once again for you I'm on my Knees
Prayin for answers give me anything Waiting all your life on me
To do anything

Momma don't give up on yourself
Cas I gave up on me
Give me Hate anger shame pity hopelessness and blame give it all to me let me take it all on for all your pain I've caused
I want make things right
Sometimes your re the only thing keeping me alive
Your far stronger then i could ever strive to be
I think your special but Maybe it's just a mother kind of thing

Momma your an angel and I am a rip in your wing
I'm really sorry for everything

Reaching for my mug of coffee,
I realise my actions occur completely unconsciously,
I can't help but overhear conversations and observe the actions of others,
I make judgments,  criticise and scrutinise them all.
This mind loves to keep busy,  
A never ending sequence of non consequently nonsense.

Am I also a broken robot,
are these concepts actually programed in to my psyche.
I learn to breath awareness and see inside,
Yet I still feel like I'm made of cotton *****,
and other heavy things.
Perhaps I've obsorbed too much,
it seeps out dampening my thoughts.
In a dream where the dreamer is half asleep, half awake.
Sometimes I forget things, this dream seams so real.
A never ending game I dreamt up,
While I slept.

Starring at a blank page trying to see
Thinking what to write find feelings lifeless emotions
Not sure what to say thought of burning critics
So much comes to mind blows away with the wind
Feels blind to the world deep inside the mind safety zone
Tough from the rough times building strength for the soul
Things are right not in the fight up late another night
Never stay down with the struggle strive to survive
From friends to strangers grow apart move onto better
Silence the tongue taste of sourness spit on the phony
Over the lies from the insecure and obsession obsorbed distractions leads to dramatic reactions
Break free focused on success not less
Go forward not back grow into more
Broken truth no more false promises
One finding truth no longer associate with fake
Insecure with harsh judgement try to break the reality
Delusional realities consume like an addiction
Control with no plans, repeating crazy expecting a different outcome