I'm trying to see things your way but correct me if I'm wrong. pretending I'm you I've always been lonely growing up. I've been hurt and abused and scarred for life. I wish so much to forget it all, and then, one day, I do. I forgot because I finally found the person I didn't know I was looking for. Because someone finally called me the B-word and he meant it. The love I felt burned so bright and hot I... I couldn't explain it, but somehow he was perfect. He knows how to hold my heart gently and make my soul want to sing... But the dreaded six days are over and he says "I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm up for a long distance relationship" and I know its a mistake but I let him make it anyway. People are calling his name to get on the bus, but I haven't said goodbye yet. I grab his attention and lean in for one last kiss before he leaves. I'm hurting inside but I want him to see my smile. Too late. The tears start to flow and they just don't stop. I bury my face in his safe embrace... and I watch him walk away for the last time. I get back from summer camp and my tears have dried but the pain never went away. I tried to text him but he always cut the conversations short. It was like he avoided me... like he didn't love me. I hated him but I couldn't stop loving him, but the pain I felt was far too great. My friends tried to help me but it was like sending care packages to Hell; All I could see was His fire and coal he left all around me. One friend in particular tried his hardest to save me and suddenly he wasn't just a friend. He was my relief and I needed him as much as he wanted me. Suddenly I found my hero... to save me from the pain... to save me from the one that hurt me. I made him my storybook Prince Charming and everything he touched turned to gold. He covered the coal and I no longer felt the burn of the fire. I was grateful, but eventually I missed the boy with fire. I went through old photographs and found one of Us sitting on the ground in front of the barracks and I felt warm once again. Although my hero was the Golden Boy, I longed for the warmth of the fire and then I saw something amazing. The gold in the fireplace started to melt and I remembered that's where my hero buried the burning coals of the Bad Man... but... but it felt good and my heart began to thaw. It brought back the pain but the fire started to burn and I started to feel... to feel the way I felt those months past at Summer Camp and the question comes up. "Why didn't he stay?," because I need a different answer, a real answer. He replies to my text, but he can't give an answer. He began whispering sweetly in my ear of how he wishes he could take it back, how he wants a redo, how he misses me. Now my heart is melted and it spills onto the hard golden floor as my Golden Boy tries to catch me but he only caught 3/4 of my heart as the rest spilled into the fire. My Golden Boy wants to fix my broken heart again but he doesn't understand that war was declared and that the fire won't retreat. I think to myself that maybe i can force my heart back into place but I'm confused. The harder I try to force it, the farther my heart retreats into the fire. By now the room is blazing hot and my heart is beating faster and faster. Now I see the battle unfold: The Golden Boy Vs. The Flame on the opposite side of the room, but there is no victor because the Flame can't leave its coal and the Golden Boy is too ready to accept the stalemate. The Flame starts to go out and whispers softly "Please, will you feed my fire once more?" and I start leaking slowly from the hands of my Golden Boy. Suddenly, I remember where to find my coal but hesitate wondering if I can handle the burn and if I can make it last 12 more months of cold weather in the presence of my motionless Golden Boy. I ask myself the question and wonder "which king do I want? I, the queen have to choose which one I'll side with, but I'll ponder this more." The fire went out but the Coal starts to get hotter and my melted heart screams at me to pick it up and put it in my pocket and so I do.
