I wear a double sided mask
so that I appear as desired
an yet I feel this feelings
with wich I cannot relate
because the mask is double sided
and it doesn't match
so I turn the volume louder than my thoughts
no sleep no more
and escape without end
these worlds, these people
they are better than this
than me
STOPSTOPSTOP these thoughts
I scream internally
why can't I be like the mask?
the double sided mask
it is better than this
than me
up the volume goes again
the base resonating in my ears
drowning the thoughts
numbing the feels
trimming the sleep
charging the escape
escape
escape is all I know

in the end
the volume
grew the thoughts
the thoughts of violence
to myself
to my surroundings
mentally
torturing myself
and killing my sleep
my sanity
my grades
grades
do I care anymore?
yes says the mask
the double sided mask
no says the voice
the dark voice in the back of my head
and i
I don't know
not anything
not
a
single
thing


I
I want to be myself
but who
is this self
I ask
as I look trough the mask
the doublde sided mask
to the wall
the wall i've built

the mask is uncomfortable
i've outgrown the mask
the double sided mask
once, the mask was my face
and my face was the mask
but my face started changing
while the mask kept staying
someday i'd  outgrow the mask
that day
is long gone
but the mask
the double sided mask
the mask is familiar
the mask is consistent
the mask is desirable
but my face?
I ask the mask facing me
no lies the mask
the double sided mask
I know it's true
why else would I wear the mask?

MASK VS MASK
TO WEAR
TO COVER UP
TO KEEP SAFE
TO NOT GET SICK
DIFFENENTCOLOURS
DIFFENENT SIZES
TO PROCET
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE TRUE SELF
PEOLE WEAR TO HIDE A SMILE
PEOPLE WEAR TO HIDE WORDS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HDE EMOTIONS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE SCARS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE PAIN
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE THEIR FACE
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO  HIDE MASK VS MASK
TO WEAR
TO COVER UP
TO KEEP SAFE
TO NOT GET SICK
DIFFENENTCOLOURS
DIFFENENT SIZES
TO PROCET
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE TRUE SELF
PEOLE WEAR TO HIDE A SMILE
PEOPLE WEAR TO HIDE WORDS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HDE EMOTIONS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE SCARS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE PAIN
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE THEIR FACE
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO  HIDE CRYNG
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE THIER HAPPINESS
MASK VS MASK
MANY DIFFERENT WAYS TO WEAR THE MASK
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE THEIR HAPPINESS
MASK VS MASK
MANY DIFFERENT WAYS TO WEAR THE MASK

Santa got a letter
From a young boy in Duluth
Will there be a Christmas
Say, it's not the truth

We heard that you aren't coming
This virus is real bad
Folks say there'll be no Christmas
And Santa, I'm quite sad

A virus keeping me away
What does this child say
A Christmas without Santa?
No gifts on Christmas Day

A week went by and letters came
They all said the same thing
We heard there was no Christmas
No gifts to us you'll  bring

So Santa called a meeting
He had to find out for himself
He called everyone around him
Including his top elf

Folks, this is a problem
These children are upset
This virus that they speak of
Is it one that I could get?

Research, do a study
Find out what's going on
I'll not stay home this Christmas
On Christmas eve, I'm gone

So, the elves all started searching
They checked and made the calls
This virus was a bad one
They've cancelled Santa at the malls

A week went by and Santa
Called a meeting just to see
If the virus was a dangerous
Would Christmas cease to be?

Santa,  said his favorite elf
You'll need to have a mask
So, we've started on designing
It is our major task

Santa said, he'd wear one
If it was what he had to do
I need to keep the children safe
Just, make sure that it's not blue

Another week, more meetings
A mask had been  designed
It covered up his nose and mouth
And it ******* in behind

I can't wear that on Christmas Eve
It will not stay in place
The knots will loosen over time
It'll slide around my face

The letters kept on pouring in
The kids all had to know
Was Santa staying home this year?
Was Christmas a no-go?

Another meeting, one more mask
This looked like Santa's beard
I like it, but, there is no mouth
I think it looks quite weird

Think boys, do your magic
You make toys and are the best
A simple little face mask
Should not put you to the test

Another mask, another fail
Time was getting short
If they could not deliver soon
This Christmas, he'd abort

Another meeting came and went
So Santa said to write
A letter to all magic folk
Maybe they can set this right

Two weeks before the big day
There was a small knock at the door
A fairy stood before him
She looked no more than four

Santa, I can help you
You want a mask you can see through
You do not want to scare the kids
They have to see it's you

Exactly, that is my plan
But, can your mask do all these things
She said, my mask is magic
It's made of fairy wings

She went inside with Santa
She told him fairy wings were tough
They could do all that Santa wanted
And lots of other stuff

The problem with my plan though
Is if I give my wings away
Wherever I am at in time
That is where I'm bound to stay

A sacrifice like that is huge
Do you want to make that choice?
There's no Christmas without Santa
She said in her small voice

You'd have to stay up here with us
A winter fairy you will be
Although you will be wingless
You'll like it here you'll see

She blinked her eyes and wiped her tears
It's what I want to do
I'll give them up to make your mask
And I'll stay up here with you

Santa, too was crying
This was the gift that he would need
He called his elven council
And tasked them with their deed

It took about a week or so
They made the magic gift
Invisible and see through
It gave Santa's heart a lift

The loops to go around his ears
Were as thin as thin could be
The mask, well, it was perfect
And there was nothing you could see

Santa put the mask on
Took a breath, and all was fine
There will surely  be a Christmas
And I love this mask design

The fairy was now wingless
She followed Santa all around
But, you could she see was not happy
She could no longer leave the ground

Santa called another meeting
Now that the mask is done
I have another job boys
And it is an easy one

He told them what he wanted
Gave a time when it was due
I need it to be perfect
Do the magic that you do

The big day came and all was set
The sleigh was set to go
The reindeer were excited
There was fresh, white, Christmas snow

Tonight, I will endeavor
To make this Christmas night the best
I'll deliver all the gifts you made
And I have one here in my vest

He called the fairy forward
He said the joy that Christmas brings
Will go on with no stopping
Because you gave your wings

For you my dear I have a gift
It's made from Christmas snow
A little elven magic,
And at this, the box did glow

She took the box, and opened it
Tears were in her eyes
A perfect pair of fairy wings
Measured perfectly to size

Santa, these are lovely
But, my wings, I gave to you
No dear, these are special
These fairy wings are new

You do not need to stay here
You can fly again and go
I made these to say thank you
You saved Christmas don't you know

I know you know the answer
She stayed there, need you ask
That kids is the story
Of Santa Claus's magic mask

MASK VS MASK
TO WEAR
TO COVER UP
TO KEEP SAFE
TO NOT GET SICK
DIFFERENT COLOURS
DIFFERENT SIZES
TO PROCET
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE TRUE SELF
PEOPLE WEAR TO HIDE A SMILE
PEOPLE WEAR TO HIDE WORDS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE EMOTIONS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE SCARS
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE PAIN
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE THEIR FACE
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO  HIDE CRYING
PEOPLE WEAR MASK TO HIDE THIER HAPPINESS
MASK VS MASK
MANY DIFFERENT WAYS TO WEAR THE MASK

my mask is pretty.
Its got happienes all over it.
Gleaming smiles, and a convincing laugh.
My mask has no fear.
It shines when nothing else will.
It's a great actor,
successful poet,
talented singer,
amateur artist,
great thing little mask.
My mask shows people hope.
Serenity,
insanity.
my mask remembers the person behind it, too.
The countless tears that strolled down my face.
It remembers the fears I have of going home,
returning to emptiness
My mask reminds me that I'm alone,
while taking me to others that could not even care.
My mask has a plastered smile when I just want to scream.
It strangles me,
"reputations
reputations"
it wants me to be someone that I want to forget!
This mask may make me look good on the outside,
but honestly
I'm dead on the inside,
like a tree
still standing,
but not functioning
Like ****,
I can't be who I want to be,
because that person is far stranger than anyone you've ever seen.
I can't
be
myself
this mask I hold buries me in my own darkness.
It holds the knife to my throat.
My mask saves me but curses me.
This reputation I hold is supposed to define me.
But I'm losing everything
everything
the girl I like is fading away
my best friend is noticing my flaws
nothing is working
anymore
MY TOWER IS BREAKING
MY MIND FADING.
<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Into a word
of
chaos
I am dying.
This mask is burying me beneath the surface.
It's consuming me.
Eating my life whole.
This ***** of a feeling.
This....darkness.
Is all because it makes me good
This mask brings me a feeling of belonging.
But after all,
it is
just
a
*mask

The girl behind the mask wasnt who she seemed
She made everyone fall and come to believe
That even the saddest people could be happy
Just for a while until things became sappy  

The girl behind the mask tend to laugh alot
At jokes she found were funny, or maybe not
She showed everyone how lovely she could be
But in reality all she wanted was to go and leave

The girl behind the mask was bullied all day
Very few times would the kids let her play
But as the years past, this just proceded
And made her think that death should be succeeded

The girl behind the mask was soon no more
She discovered the ropes would make her soar
Through the clouds in heaven that would go so high
Now she was finally happy to really be alive

The girl behind the mask was living the dream
While everyone on earth soon began to greave
Even though she thought no one cared for her
Life without her quickly became a huge blur

The girl behind the mask looked down one night
To see that her sister had goined the flight
She came up to her and asked why she was here
And she answered this is suicidal girls only good fear

The girl behind the mask did not understand
Why her sister had goined this holy heartland
Then she realized that because of her choice
Her sister decided to leave earth to hear her voice

The girl behind the mask began to cry
She ended her sister's life so that she could come to fly
She discovered that maybe instead of having to say goodbye
She could've gotten someone to help her stay alive

The girl behind the mask soon did find
That maybe suicide doesnt help fix the bind
She went down to earth and gave it her charity
And said im sorry to all including her family

The girl behind the mask looked as she saw her mother
Clutching to the robe of her suicidal daughter
The girl had finally saw what she had done
So dont make the same mistake and dont grab the gun
(k.b)

I hide my face from the world I know.
I wear a mask, a mask to hide.
A mask to hide who I really am.
The mask that hides the face .
The face of a depressed man all alone.
My mask keeps all my insecurities hidden.
Behind my mask I am everyones friend.
By masking my emotions no one gets hurt.

If I were to not wear my mask.
Would people accept me, for me.
Lonely and meak
Or would they only feel sorry for me.
If only I had the courage to take off my mask.
Show everyone who I am.

My mask keeps things at peace.
Keeps the inner me.
From ruining  the outter me
If I was to take off this mask who would I be.
Would you know me. Would you like to get to know me.
Let me take off my mask.
We shall see.

He says he loves me
He says that my smile glows of hope
And laughter
And wisdom
He says that I have this glow in me
That radiates out
Embracing life
He says I'm enough

But he only sees my reflection
And if he tried to skip a stone
He would see the perfection
Transform
Create shapes not welcome
Let him peak
At the murky bottom
Filled with treasure and trash
All covered in slime

My smile,
Is crooked
Has yellow spots and cavities
And the only thing that it beams
Is the breathe of my last catastrophe.

He calls me wise.
Only because he has never witnessed
The mistakes I step into,
The mistakes I give one more chance,
The mistakes that haunt in every corner-
Even the corner of my smile

He says he looks me in the eyes and sees hope.
I wonder where.
For when I glance at them
There is only emptiness,
And despair,

And the only thing I radiate
Is a warning
Do not tread that path
To the one lake
With the pretty reflection
It is just a mask
And though you may love a beautiful mask
A mask is not enough

But he says a mask can't mask everything
A mask can't mask
How I look up
When I'm on the brink of tears
As if the sun will wipe away my worries
A mask can't mask
How when a hand is outstretched
My whole being is clasped around it
A mask can't mask
That light that shines out of you.
Because,
Darling,
That light is too bright,
For even all of your self doubt,
Worries,
And the world,
To burn it out.

And a mask can't mask
And a skipping stone won't transform
That I love you
And because of him
I think
I can love me too.

Invite me to a masquerade held in a large hall
Most guests would be in suits, those you can see
Almost all are dark males, all quite are tall
All can't dance , because all of them are me

Few in this hall are some of my peers
One of me in a mask basks in their wonder
To them this mask is wise,and one without fear
The face behind though is foolish a coward and a blunder

Few in this hall are some of my enemies
One of me in a mask delights in their distaste
To them this mask promises violence with energy
Behind is the face of exhaustion and no anger to trace

Few in this hall are some of my mentors
One of me in a mask  indulges in their praise
To them this mask is one of potential and future
Beneath lies the face marred by failure and laze

Few in this hall are some past lovers
One of me in a mask savors their longing
To them this mask is a story with a knight and a tower
But beneath Is the face of a lier gifted with talking

Few in this hall are my fellow Christians
One of me in a mask flaunts his humility
To them this mask is of true religious commissions
The face behind long faced spiritual sterility

The last in this hall are my family
I face them with half a mask of strength
To them the strong half mask, and the true half face of apathy
The half mask hides a face exhausted with it's life's long length

The mask, as they say, is a friend of mine

Behind that mask is where I spend the most time

The mask just might be my very best friend

That mask seems to be my beginning and my end

The mask is there to keep people at bay

That mask tells everyone that I am okay

This mask I’ve worn since I was a child

Make everyone laugh, be funny, don’t dare disappoint

I am the good boy set out to change the world

That mask becomes tattered, aged and worn

Much like my spirit, tired, sullen and torn

Soon comes the time that energy I have not

To put on that mask and walk into life

I’m tired, so tired with the light ever further away

Is it time, my time, to say goodbye to today?

The mask is a friend of mine, or so they say

You don't have to live in fear
Or be a germaphobe
To be on guard when a pandemic
Spreads around the globe.
Erring on the side of caution
Makes a lot of sense.
The benefits of wise and prudent
Behavior are immense.

So, don’t put your mask away;
Put it to excellent use.
You don’t like the way it feels?
That’s a poor excuse.
If you're asked to wear a mask,
Don't raise holy hell.
Wearing a mask could save your life
And other lives as well.

For certain inexplicable reasons
Some people are loath
To do something that might prevent
The exponential growth
Of COVID-19, a nasty virus
That hasn't left the scene.
It would be nice not to have to
Self-quarantine.

So, don’t put your mask away;
Put it to excellent use.
You don’t like the way it feels?
That’s a poor excuse.
If you're asked to wear a mask,
Don't raise holy hell.
Wearing a mask could save your life
And other lives as well.

Someday we can look forward to
Not having to wear
A mask that covers our nose and mouth
And seems to cut off our air.
For now, let's all cooperate,
And please do not revile
A practice, which--though not so fun--
Is certainly worth our while.

So, don’t put your mask away;
Put it to excellent use.
You don’t like the way it feels?
That’s a poor excuse.
If you're asked to wear a mask,
Don't raise holy hell.
Wearing a mask could save your life
And other lives as well.

-by Bob B (6-11-20)

I remember when I first put on my mask,
it was the first time mum had really seen me cry.
Not like when I was a child,
more like pain and anguish rained from my eyes.
       I put on my mask.

The years came and the mask grew on me,
no idle emotions slipped past its wall.
And then I met you, and you saw through,
my mask and its wall began to fall.
       The mask crumbled.

When bad times came like thunder,
and the mask slowly crept back.
You held my hand and held me as I cried,
you stood me up and kept me on track.
       The mask cant return

I remember when you told me that you loved me,
I thought all my joy I should mask.
You smiled and said 'you don't need to hide from me',
and me, and my emotions were free at last.
       No more mask.

Once upon a time there lived a little girl. This little girl was no different to anybody else. She liked to play with her friends, she listened to her teachers and everyday she’d go home to watch TV and play with her two brothers and her little sister. This little girl’s life continued to flow smoothly, she went to school, got good grades, started high school, made new friends, and everyday she’d go home to find her mum making dinner and she’d watch her dad come home after a long days’ work.

The little girl had a good life.

Until one August morning when the little girl awoke only to find that she’d never hear her mother’s voice again.

That little girl’s mother died that day and that little girl suddenly wasn’t just a little girl anymore. The little girl was devastated by her loss but she tried her best not to show it. The little girl put on a mask, one that hid all of her pain and suffering from those around her. No matter how much the little girl hurt, no one could ever see it. What the little girl didn’t know was that the longer she wore this mask, the harder it would be to take off. So the mask stayed on, forever hiding all that she felt from the world. This mask took all of the little girl’s emotions away, both good and bad, it made her completely numb.

So the little girl learnt how to pretend.

She pretended that she was fine. She pretended to be happy when something good happened and pretended to be sad when something bad happened. The little girl was able to pretend for four years before the cracks started to appear in her mask. You see after four years of pretending that everything was fine pressure started to build under the mask. Every fake smile, every fake laugh….. Every fake tear, it all built the pressure up under that mask. Until one day the cracks in the little girl’s mask got so big that the mask shattered into thousands of tiny pieces that could never be put back together again, and all of the emotions, the fake smiles, laughs and fake tears; everything under that mask came out all at once.
Suddenly the little girl couldn’t pretend anymore. Everyone had seen the mask break; they had all seen what was hiding beneath it. So the little girl stopped pretending, but after so long without real emotions she realised that she didn’t know how to be happy, sad, angry, anxious…….. She didn’t know how to feel anything.
The little girl that had once hidden from her emotions, her pain, the world and even herself was forced to face it all at once.

The little girl couldn’t handle it.

The little girl went to the doctors and asked them to fix her. They told her that she was depressed. They gave her some pills and told her that they would make the pain go away. And they did, for a little while at least, but then new problems emerged. Sure the pills took away the pain, but now it was almost like there was too much happiness. The little girl saw the world in Technicolor vision; her thoughts raced and flew faster than anything known to mankind. She had compulsions to clean and to create, to socialise and love. She wanted to yell her happiness from well above the tree tops. Nothing could stop her. She felt immortal. Death was but a tiny distant memory to her.

This feeling never lasted long.

Before long the depression would come back, she found herself with a blade in her hand and tears streaming down her face many times. Too many times she found herself asking what the point in living was. All she wanted to do was die. She experimented with different kinds of overdoses, she got sick and most importantly she stopped caring. She didn’t care about anyone else, she didn’t care about herself. All she wanted was for the world to just stop spinning. The depression took over, until suddenly the world would change and colour would come back. That’s when the compulsions would come back, the racing thoughts, and the happiness. All of it would come rushing back. But just as quickly as it came; it went. This cycle continued for a long time until, during a moment of depression, she got a little too close to death and found herself in a psychiatric hospital.

All of the doctors and nurses agreed that there was more than just depression plaguing the little girl. They threw around words like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and cyclothymia. They gave the little girl new pills. This time they were supposed to stop her from going high, and also low. They were supposed to keep her stable. And then, they sent her home. They messed with her medication a lot, trying to find the right ones. They started her on one hell of a rollercoaster ride; and on that rollercoaster ride, is where you can find that little girl today.

There's this mask I wear
The glue is so tight
Hiding me, hiding all
All you don't see, unless you get really near
That I'm not alright
My eyes are dark and deep enough for you to stand in
My wrists are ******, so are my thighs
My heart is shaky
And I've got non stop anxiety
But from far you see this mask
You hear my loud laugh
And see me hold my tummy in pain from giggling at my own joke
You swear I have recovered
When actually my late night tears help me keep the mask on
I may not look injured
Nor hollow
Or in pain
Just with this smile on my face
Of this mask that I wear
I hurt unheard and unseen,
Impatient for good days.

If my heart was transparent
A lot wouldn't be the same
Anyways, I'm already used to building these walls around my heart.
It's protected, I guess. From the outside world yet within me the storm never calms.
Tears wet these pillows
All night through sometimes wishing that morning must never come
Holding the grudge against myself
While smiling to all standing right in front of me.
Asking is this how life suppose to be.
Limping with anger yet holding the last thought of laughter
One hell of life we living.
You see...
This mask doesn't show things in 3D
That's why I love rainy days
Coz my tears are never recognized
Sadness engulf my soul while hoping that one day I will be able to remove the glue on this mask I wear.

I didn't write this one. Its actually part of spoken poetry lyrics .. im sharing it because I feel like start to finish I can relate to every word, every feeling.  I consider myself the girl behind the mask



The girl behind the mask doesnt understand the beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and it doesnt matter how many times I have told her she still relies on the opinions of people of who dont realize that what they see as shy is in fact the feeling of lonley,
The feeling of whatever she does Is not quite good enough, the feeling of constantly disappointing the people closest who only want to see her happy,
But instead they have to watch the detoeratation and can do nothing.  They hope and pray that one day the girl behind the mask will finally say with content and honesty to herself "IM HAPPY "
I can put these feelings of no self worth on the shelf and live on, build up my life and repair myself from the past, 
And can finally say to myself that at last " IVE DONE IT"

I've beat the demons inside my soul, the demons that made my thoughts and life cold,
The ones that made me contemplate my life, my confidence,  my existence and my future,  made me feel hurt that cant be fixed with a suture,

The girl behind the mask doesnt see that her strength shines so much brighter, you see the girl behind the mask doesnt know what she is capable of, it's as if how blind to how happy she makes everyone, she puts a smile on a face of the person feeling down, shes blind to the fact that she can turn a sad day around, and make people smile from ear to ear,
But when she takes off the mask she's filled with nothing but fear,  fear of what the next day brings her, as if she's waiting for her sentence and there's nothing but rumours being spread around about her.

The girl behind the masks is the definition of beauty , the meaning of strength, she needs to know thats its the duty, of everyone who cares to help in the fight, to make her realize that her life is her life, to understand that there is nothing to be afraid of, she has family and friends that will show  depression what they are made of,


The girl behind the mask needs to lift her head up and open her eyes and realize  that she'll never be alone and as much as she may feel it, the pain she is feeling now.... happiness will heal it


So be strong and proud of the person you are because with strength and power the end of these feeling isn't far, and you can smile,dance, and sing  live thr life that u were deprived from, the life you have not yet felt..  the life u lived contemplating overdose or the rope. The feeling of eating was hell, the life u lived where everything goes wrong you will be free from all the anxiety and pain

Look at yourself in the mirror and  say these words to your self, "why  am I letting this control me, look at your beauty. As hard as it seems you need to smile.  Its your duty,  then see your pain as a emotional journey, 

Remember certainly there is a destination waiting for u to be happy at last..  but please be strong stay strong the girl behind the mask

I caught a glimpse of those eyes
As I said goodbye
They were dark blue
With a hint of hue
There was no face
Just a mask covered in lace
What a beauty they are
Like gems they are.

To one, goodbye I said
To another my mind lead
Gone to the shadows of the room
Where the walls are covered in brooms
I followed
I followed
The mask lead me
Welcome again, they said to me
A face without the mask, I long to see
But all there was, a reminder of the sea
I followed
I followed

Moving, turning
From corner to corner
Till the mask stopped
So sudden, my heart dropped
Then the mask said to me
Why do you pursue me?
The pleasure of satisfaction, I long for
A beauty to treasure, like never before

I saw a sparkle
Eyes a shining marble
Hands trembling
Feet shuffling
As I drew nearer
That I may see clearer
The face covered in a mask of lace

Take off the mask I must
To see a face I long for, I trust
Ahead lay my task
To set free a face
Trapped in the mask
A mask covered in lace.


© 2016 Busola S. Kolade

Even the bolt of a metal *****
will eventually erode.
Is it ironic to say that
a blowfish can implode, too?

The notion of wearing a mask
is an interesting one
Because nothing in this world
is meant to stand the test of time
And if you try to hide
you will fail.
Then, when you wake,
and try to see past your mask
you'll find yourself staring
at the wall behind you.

Even on a bright, sunny day
you can wake up feeling gray.
Making you feel out of place,
so wearing a mask compensates
Disguising blind eyes from reality
with a false sense of security.

The calm before the storm
is a deceptive moment in time
But it just goes to show
how quickly things can go
from good to bad
And it happens everyone.

Everyone has a shadow
no matter how you choose too see things.
It will never leave your side
Big or small, day or night
Your shadow is cast as a mask,
how you wear it is up to you.

Becoming comfortable in your mask
can be an uncomfortable task
As uncomfortable as a gullible mime
that is stuck on the outside
of his invisible box,
just trying to find a way in.

It's a queasy experience
that makes your stomach churn.
Trying to find the face behind
the mask
When you can't see past the facade
that acts as a mirage.

It's might sound easier to keep
the mask on,
put up a front and never look back
But that doesnt mean
things will be any easier,
just harder to hide behind.

Only when you choose to see
the reflection in the mirror
for its face value,
and not as a misleading mask,
will you begin to feel
how awesome it is to see clearly

THE MASK….

This mask that I wear
Is worn with care
Behind this mask
Is someone so
Rare
Beware!!!

For this mask can tell
A million stories
Of fight and glories
Behind this mask
Resides the real me
Confusions
Disillusions
Loneliness
Restlessness

This mask is worn
To cover the scars
Marred by the years
Of fears
Tears
Afraid of not being
Heard
Shattered confidences
Self-worth
Pity showing its ugly face
Feeling of disgrace
So never be fooled
By the mask that is worn
It could be I am tattered
And torn

This mask that I wear
Keeps me secure
And so sure
Silently watching
From every corner
Gaining strength
Dignity
And grace
Finally someday
I will show
My true face
© Helen Moule
23rd April 2012

With worthless words
In his throat
And on his tongue

He sits a thousand miles across
Through earth’s hard calluses atop bent-knuckle mountains
And soft, golden hair growing in the soil
Through lakes full with tears
And forests filled with hands and fingers...

He sits a hundred blinks of the sun
And watches drive-in theaters disappear
Along with the ferris wheels
Spinning into nothing

Dances going mute
Bodies moving soundlessly through the air
He watches lights go out in carnivals
And hands letting go

THE SUN BLINKS

With worthless words
In his throat
And on his tongue

He stands and shuffles
Through undefined shapes of colour
A brilliant array of blurred blues
And greens
And yellows
They move so

Fast

Through his eyes

THE SUN BLINKS

With worthless words
In his throat
And on his tongue

He sits
Through the drone of voices in his ears
And nods
To mask his heart
And smiles
To mask the obvious
Pull

On his soul
Dragging it down
Trying to keep it from being pulled
Out
Through the soles of his feet

A mask on his face
To hide the struggle
To keep it from
Slipping
Away

THE SUN BLINKS

With worthless words
In his throat
And on his tongue

He writes with his thumbs
Words he hopes
Can be felt
Like winds that whisper love
Through ears
And cold water
That reaches through
Skin and freezes bone

And the words return
Like rivers do
Sometimes
Missing
A few drops of water
Sometimes
A little less happy
And a little more

Tainted

With sad things
Like broke down carnivals
And quiet dances...

Ferris wheels that stop turning
And drive in theaters that stop playing movies

It becomes a little more polluted
With sad things
Like closed curtains over the sunset
Through the window
And tea that goes cold

A little more
And a little more
Until the words that return
Like rivers do
Are missing
More drops of water
And
They
Dry
Until
No
Water
Runs
Down
The
River

THE SUN BLINKS

With worthless words
In his throat
And on his tongue

He sits with lips closed
Under the mask of a smile
A mask of calmness over the worry
In his heart

Sadness masked by happiness
Tears masked by laughter
Fears masked by confidence


A mask
For every
Emotion
That his brain triggers



Except one



Because to him



No mask can cover


What she makes him feel



Such pure



Perfection




When she

Holds
His
Hand




THE SUN BLINKS

And no words come to his tongue
Or pass his lips

Silence, masked

MY MASK

I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled;
To hide my feelings behind this gigantic lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside, I still felt empty,
As though I was missing a larger part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling
For I designed my mask to always be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see,
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day,
I was slowly dying.
I couldn't go on,
There was something missing..

Until now I am still searching
For the one thing that'll stop my crying.
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For that person who'll wipe away my tears.

But until then I'll keep on smiling.
Hiding behind this mask I have learned to wear.
Just hoping for the day I will be able to smile,
Until then, I'll be right here hanging around for awhile.

I’m here in my mask;
I only wear it on good days,
A mask to hide the scars;
The scars of my life and yours,
Reflecting away my fear;
Ever present yet unseen.

I’m here in my mask;
I wish I wore you more often,
Without expression or feeling;
Undeterred by glaring eyes,
Hiding unkindly shadows;
Silent and passionless.

I’m here in my mask;
Another lonely hidden day,
Sharp yet poker face grey;
Unbetraying to all my secrets,
Shrouded in mystery,
Afraid to feel; to live.

I’m here in my mask;
Yet tire of the truths you hide,
Every-time I wear you;
You fit less comfortably,
Pitted with imperfections;
Cracking like the man beneath.

I’m here in my mask;
But for how much longer?
Dissolving before my eyes;
One day I will take you off,
Lower my guard and reveal;
The mask beneath you.

People assume things. They tend to do so every day, no matter the situation. Why? Who knows. What? All kinds of things. For example, they assume that the happiness I show them is real, when it is only a faqade. My happiness is the mask I use to hide my bitterness, my hate, my depression, my anxiety, my lonliness, my helplessness, and the broken pieces that I truly am. I mask many more things than this. My sanity is the mask I use to cover the fact that I truly am not in the right mind. I might not be insane, but I am certainly mentally unstable. My wholesomeness is the mask I use to hide the fact that I am beyond repair. I am broken in heart, mind, and spirit. My body may be intact, but the soul it masks is broken. It is broken in a million pieces and these pieces are slowly turning to dust - beyond repair. My smile is the mask that hides my tears. The tears that fall when no one is looking. My laugh is the mask that hides the screams of pain that constantly **** me from sleep. The screams echo in my ears and they never vanish until sleep takes over again. The make-up on my face is the mask that covers the tear tracks. My empty, emotionless eyes are the mask that keep my inner despair hidden. The hat, or hood of my hoodie are the masks that hide my scarred scalp. The scars there are from countless hairs being pulled out by my bare hands when I have a breakdown. My pants are the mask that cover my scarred thighs. The scars are from countless nights of countlessly and raggedly drawing razorblades across my sensitive skin. I am completely and utterly masked, hiding everything true about myself like a coward. I even take it so far as to hide my cowardice with a mask called strength. It is better to be masked than left out in the open with nothing to shield yourself, wouldn't you think?

Take off that silly mask that
You wear every day and night
Stop hiding who you really are
From your friends
From your family
From the world
From yourself
Stop pretending to be the person
You want to be around other people
Stop hiding your flaws
Your mistakes
Your problems
Your past
Stop hiding yourself
Behind that silly mask that
You wear every day and night
You are not the same person
Behind that mask
You are a fake
And everyone can see that
You are fooling no one
When you wear that ugly mask
Stop fooling yourself into thinking
That this is the real you
Take off your silly mask
And show the world
Show your friends
Your family
Your peers
Show yourself the real you
Show you true colors
Let them shine through
That hideous mask that you hide behind
Have no shame in the person that you are
In the flaws that you have
In the problems that you have
Have no shame in the past
That you want to be known as the past
Take off your mask
And be proud of who you are
Be who you really are
Not the character you pretend to be
In this play call your life
Take off that mask
And be free with who you are
The truthful, real you

This mask
At one time
Was my identity

It had friends
It had secrets
It had power

Some liked it
Some cared for it
But none loved it

Some wanted it
Some believed it
Few had seen past it

So this mask...
Could've been happy
Except masks don't feel

but I did
I felt fake
but I let the mask win

yet the mask
Was just a mask
So why did it have such power

I didn't like it
I wanted to be real
but I was so scared

what if it hurts
what if they reject me
what if i'm alone

so i live behind a mask
hating every moment
wishing to be saved

yet they couldn't save me
because they didn't know me
finally I realized

I was my own worst enemy
so I removed the mask
and for the first time

I lived

Hidden from true sight
The mask shields my feelings
it hides me from the light

i fear the truth underneath is to
hideous to be seen
the mask protects me from intrusion
it holds the wicked thoughts and the absolute unclean
underneath the mask i'm writhing with shame

my true identity has become lost
as i've become unfamiliar, unfriendly
even with my own name
protecting or hiding the years have
blurred the intent

i'm lost and confused all the time
the mask has taken away everything that it meant
i search for someone who would know my pain

i remove the mask for a moment
and i would feel as i found someone,
bu the flood of unclean would make
me loose that again and again

The mask returns to hold back what is deep with in
please dont look to  hard
i couldn't find anymore who understood
any place to go, much to my chagrin
this is what's here, what is and you what is not
my mask is my shield
it may not be the right way to be
protected but its the only thing i've got