As I stand
Under the streetlights,
And look up at the blood moon,
I wonder if you're looking up at the same stars...
But I know
That you're probably looking down
The barrel
Of a loaded gun.
Under disguise,
Where I stand on the edge
Contemplating past memories,
Things not forgotten,
But too long dead.
Feeling the rush
That spike-
-Of cortisol,
High adrenaline-
-Accompanied by a heavier fall,
I know
For a fact
That no-one
Under
Stands
Me.
Not even you know
The depth of my
Regret..
...Suffering.
Guilt...
Pain.
Experiences rebuffed
Un-cared about
The children
Forsaken,
The bodies I've seen,
The lives I've observed taken.
The people I was around for too long,
The people I wasn't around for long enough...
The lives I've lived,
In this one life.
And for the one time,
All I ask
Is your
Understanding...

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

As I reach the last stop
I look around
The last drop of emotion now hitting the ground
What I've found, I couldn't have touched without you
You
That fire breathing through my solar plexus
It's perplexing
Standing on the edge of the nexus
The precipice of soul-wrought exodus
Bleeding extacsy into my lungs
What an experience, but when will I be done?
The question
Without an answer
Falling on the deaf, only seen by the blind
I am the only one who can release my binds
My mind
Sinking below the surface, flying high
My cerebellum is glowing
Calculating my time
The sky, almost vacant
On the edge while the sun melts under the plain, what remains?
But hesitation

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

A solar flare
Warm, soothing
Light, emitting
Caressing the void
Creating radio waves
Ripples through space
Distorting, ripping
Heating, emanating
Effecting those particles
Sub-atomic
Planetoids, bodies
Drawn in by the density
Gravity
Pools and dents
In the fabric
Of existence
Touches the untouchable,
The deep essence at the center of everything
Penetrating the impermeable,
Resonating with the silent,
Burning the spaces in-between
Fire
And light
Kissing you goodbye

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

Rays of sun
used to
Wake me up
Every    morning
It was really kind of
Annoying
Their light would
Burn my eyes, show me
         The dust in the air
But...

When it was cold, and dark,
And I would cry,
                                 ..try...
               ...to stare at the stars...
Through the thick fog

I longed for that warmth
                       Missed it,
                                          For so long.....


                                      When they returned
                                                       I spent my time getting burned
And pretending I knew
                       What to do...
                                     ...what not to do wrong.

        I closed my eyes,
                                    to escape
                                                   for a second
...because I was second-guessing...
And in the blink of an eye,
                                          the night filled the sky
                                      
                      ­               My rays of sun were missing.

SUN
     CANNOT              
                   BE
                      DETAINED

...Besides,
DUST
is far more Captivating.    

2019 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

I hate you
You've grown distasteful of me
Suspicion flies by for the time being I,
Don't think I mean much more than I say,
That is to say, it's a weird feeling
Like stepping on glass that feels like clay
Like floating in your own blood
Resentment is a word
Not used in the correct context
Not nearly enough
You resent me,
That, I can see- because you're crystal clear,
Like a megaphone on overdrive,
On the other end of the million mile field.
Every side to their own, the war has begun.
Offense and defense are claims- we are all opposition,
Yet we are all in macro superposition.
Are my intentions read?
Do you have an understanding that they understand you?
Mutuality is an unattainable bliss.
I'll kiss the night sky goodbye.
And rush back to my existence.
What use is speed of the universe,
When distance is irrelevant,
And time is perception?
My selection of weapons are for protection,
Of course, opinion can **** fact any day if there is enough support...
Build a fort.
Sleep, eat, breathe,
Crawl, drool, heave
The fluke that you are, living on a series of flukes,
Like mistakes without negative impact.
Neutrality.
The battle has paused.
We take time to reflect on ourselves,
By deflecting on others.
Destructive forces we possess.
Yet less, we retain our humanity.
Through the guise of appearing civil for a brief second,
We let our discussions cast our fate,
Hearing our contradictions in order to heal our wounds.
Momentarily, that is-
Can't you see? Syntax fails me...
Plausibly unexplainable through the heavy bias of words.
The shade of our own lack of information,
A dense shadow looms.
It is hard to see through such limited eyes.
Expression is a mission to break our own human barriers.
Setting more would be counterproductive.
But some disagree.
Therefore the battlefield is stained with fallen ideologies,
And victims of the ones still standing.
Some turn their heads first,
Their eyes revealing the scene at hand.
Blood stained grass,
Thick bullet-sprayed mud makes the land.
The brief moment is over.
Our privatized chaos ensues.
Many more will fight, hoping to win,
But everyone will lose.

2018 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

Compliance is only
Implied to be involuntary
Committing yourself to others
Obligations
Making your life work according to
Expectations
Faking your soul's net worth is exasperating,
And if you can't relate,
You're probably okay
Part of the 20% or less
Of the populous
Not stuck in survival
What a privilege that must be
To never know Fight, Flight or Freeze
I know them well, not as friends
Not as enemies
No, you can't relate.
But you say it anyway,
"Things get better, life?
Worth living, just give it time because that's all life is giving,"
No. You're okay.
No need to be chained to a radiator in another person's brain
No odio nadie, love is just pain minus the hate
Like if your lover doesn't like you,
You love them anyway.
Ceaseless, timeless and without rest,
Testing the limits of the heat off the sun's crest
But I digress-
Death is the only outcome,
So why act surprised when a number comes up?
Fear of death is fear of life itself
So until you taste death,
Tienes miedo de ambos

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

Un          
    i  _      
      Ver
           se

I want to make love to you

Until we collapse

In each other's arms,

Eyes never unlocking,

Lips never parting,

Until we slip into unconsciousness,

Entangled like two particles

Invisibly connected

Across the expanse

Of the universe

Each resonating at the vibration of the other.

I want to collide with you

Trailing photons as we spin

Through space untouchable

Dancing, Twirling,

Intertwined

On our separate paths

Swimming parallel

Through the universe

In our minds.

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

Funny,
How I found trust in you so fast..
How to stand by your side,
Would be a lifelong adventure.
How to die by your hand,
Would be a great honor...

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

I will my soul to be still
As you force your every step away
Through the grass and dirt
I try to keep my pain

On that day you left me
Not just your lover, but your best friend
Red blood spilled gently
Marking an unwilling end

My heart travelling miles
Pulled softly from my chest
Traversing the depths of darkness
Caress the cavity that it left

Bruises brown and blue, deep maroon
Below and above my collarbone
Left to mark me as your own
Leave me this feeling I've never known

The smell of you was strong at first
But now it's ever fading
Like these memories I hope to keep
That are not so everlasting

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

Cut me
From my cloth

Sew my rough edges together

Hide my insides
Paint a pretty picture

Stick me by your window
For everyone to see
Your handiwork

Or maybe, put me on a shelf
So they give you praise
When your friends show up

Give me a story
Give me a name

All day, children with God-complexes;

Play children of God;

Play authority figures;

Play cops and robbers;

Play house with me;

I don't have a voice
To tell you no
Or the ability
To walk away

But being passed around and used
Can wear you out

The cloth you cut me from
Is just cloth,
The same you were once a part of

But when I start to unravel,
No one is bothered to repair me,

You just take the sharpest tool in your torture chamber

And

Cut

My

Cord.

2019 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)