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i was in a shell
a dark, vast shell
filled with a tiny little me
the taunting voices
and of course,
darkness.

the voices spoke
and like i said
they taunted me much
i hated it
and i often wonder
in this dark shell
how do i know what to hate
when i know so little
of what there is to like.

then one day
the dark shell cracked
and light flooded in
a shell that was seemingly solid
was beginning to crack
by the people outside
but then again how did i know
they were people?
how did i even figure there was a world outside
when all this while the shell was the only
place i'd been?

but the best thing about the crack
the best thing that came with the crack
was the flooding light
its warmth
its luminiscence
its existance in the shell
the light embraces me,
causes me to feel safe
curious
hungry
hope
unsure
acknowledged.

i hunger more for the light
i try to break out
for it meant freedom
now how i knew that
once again i dont know
it's just blind faith
but the voices
sometimes they pull me back
but i'm fighting
i want that light
i want to get out
to know
to experience
to be alive
to be loved
for i already feel the sneek peak of it
and i want more.
theblndskr Apr 2017
There's a creature that lives
outside this house,
under the left side window,
whispering dispersed breaths
of echoing luminiscence. .

It never goes in,
No matter how wide
You open the window. .
But its' soul creeps in,
Swallowing the air inside . .
Like it wasn't here,
But it lives within your skin. .
B e t w e e n    the   g a p s
You can't even see.
It digs on the surface,
To taste your blood cold.

You look around,
But it wasn't there. .
You started sitting on the corner
Beside the bed
Holding your head,
Covering your ears.


And when the dark clouds
Start to overshadow the land,
You see its shadow

S l o wly,    sl o w  l y. .

         Peeking in.

You held your heart.
I cannot imagine what a shadow's expression appear to be. . Could it be how we look like when we're afraid, but with a smirk there. .lol

This poem is a mess in structure, like how my mind is when I made it.
AH...

  sigh...       what a glorious sigh...
that I: aye?! i... little i...

something about
Aristotles' poetic that i can't quiete grasp:

in the ancient world
the people didn't paint:
but they: sculpted...

imagine how i think:
testament of thinking per se:
i don't really
think...

         nothing doesn't think:
nothing is a pronoun,
in the category of words:

my my: my most devilish and i:
an isc on
a leash
i don't have the time to appropriate
invoke... invoke is a better word

i'm here to paint!
Aristotles' poetics clarified
the obliviousness of language
to a philosopher...

i'm here's to paint!
so i'll paint... by punctuation!
i'll paint by punctuation!
and...
each... and... every...
line break pillcrow will not be:
my last...

if Spinoza wrote his Treaties in Hell:
i'll...
go ahead...
nothing is a pronoun and it speaks
more than god speaks
ever... truly... listen to: nothing?

but women can give birth
and it feels weird
disclosing that Reyla is my daughter...
genetics and phonetics
and blah blah the intellectual apes
are public intellectuals!
Gremlins get off!
give me the Unity with my brothers
the Siech: Sicz: Cossack BRONE!

women give birth but are rarely
strangulated by nothing...
forget Nietzsche's work ethic
and boredom:
if pronouns is what..
touch wood...
whoops! i just touched iron and i looked
at it and you looked at it
and we both hoped it was wood:
but it was iron...

just like a golden ring looks great
on a black finger...
so must a silver ring and moon
look good on the finglet
of the pigglet pink in white
on a finger the moon: is mine! to answer!

madness madness!

   if... you... say... so...
i'm here to paint!
i'm here to conjure all the oyster
raw meat delicacies...
but people of the ancient world
didn't paint!
they sculpted!
now see the impasse
how smart the modern people are
and how dumb the ancient people were?
see how there's this definition of humanity
by:

memory-erasure...
we will: forget!
we will rememeber!
but we will also!
die!
forget!
we will die!
we will: forget!

and by forgetting we will
imagine!
because there are archetypes
of humanity
not reincarnated
but from all origins: an abiding
concern for narrative:
and dialogue:
and monologue...

i'm here to paint with
punctuation and diacritical markers
atop of letters...
but not today:
today i'm all chaos and storm
and the grain of porridge
and the distance of raindrops on
the window come the daft ghouls of the night:
oopsie: oopsie...

but i'm here baby'oh:
owl my woo and lunatic...
woe and luminiscence...
but i'm here baby oh...
      just this you're not my baby
baby O...
                      now comes the measure
and with enough atom bombs one
might content with volcanos...

                     Mt. Vistivius... or who
the tragedy of Pomepeii...
Christ was crucified...
a truthfuly historic presence...
an event to topple all other events?
i ask: in Heidegger's vein
to the artery....
Heidegger: question-worthiness...
Zeitgeist: news-worthiness...

     thought is a muddling puzzle
of philosophers and opportunistic hacks...
the ones genetically displaced...
but then only the lower IQ strata replicate:
and we need bus drivers....
what we don't want is
for the rupture...

           intellectuals agitating the public
with a historical-conscience...

WE ARE MANY:
who says who to whom in the great agitation?
this is not... painting?!
this... is... not... words as... painting?!
MILLWALL! MILLWALL!
the SCOTCH CONNECTION!
that one... part of London:
Elephant and Castle
that i love...           why did i decide
to support Millwall?
       oh...                 mate... just the south
London architecture... the feel of the place...
couldn't feel it closest to either
Arsenal, Tottenham of West Ham grounds...

SCHLUS! MACHTUNG!
ABERZ! ABERZ!
SCHNELL SCHNELL SCHNELL!

Tartan Jersey...
you already have the colouring:
Edrick the Navy....
deep blue and purple...

— The End —