"kilgore" poems
when I was younger
I got into staring contests
with the sunset
despite dire warnings
I challenged him
I thought I would live forever back then
or maybe I just wanted him
to blink
out
before I did
I fear death
I grew up a Christian
reading about Narnia
and there was one man
after escaping ten years of living
in a nightmare
as relief from his waking horror
he was given the gift of sleep
without dreams
forever
now
as well as then
I struggle to comprehend
how this was a reward
to fall asleep
and never dream
and never wake
this is death as far as we can tell
in my childhood
this was the only exposure I had
to the idea of VOID
and now it yawns wide open
at the feet of this newly formed atheist
and I am afraid
‘I never asked to be born in the first place’
-Last words of Adolf ******
(per Kilgore trout
(per Kurt Vonnegut Jr.))
the sunset is deep deep orange
and summer is fading
from green
to red and yellow
then to brown
then to white
I’m thinking of Christmas
watching a hawk fly
silhouetted against
the now hot pink clouds
to the sound of cicadas
and a whisper
of moist and cooling air
winter is hard to get through
then again
so is summer
the sky above me is the shade of lavender
I fell in love with
when I couldn’t find anyone
who loved me back
I was taking a bus trip from December
to late spring
everyone else was asleep
and I watched the sun rise
through palm trees and ferns
if the afterlife is composed
of floating through my time in this life
Tralfamadorian Heaven
I will be content
I am living now
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM UTC
Just what on earth do you really gain?
By inflicting and causing so much pain.
Oh, how it breaks your momma’s heart,
To see you acting a fool not being smart.
Dope, alcohol, and popping pills,
You seek them all for cheap thrills.
Thugs for friends are your family now,
To be like them and throw in the towel.
Life on the street they make look so neat,
Your belly rumbles and can’t sleep for lack of meat.
Hungry and jobless leaves you to steal,
From hardworking people with weapons you conceal.
Wait! Where are they all at now you do scream?
Did they run away when locked up or is it a dream?
Before the judge in the courtroom you look around,
None of your so called **** family are found.
Who is that praying and wiping a tear?
How can my momma still love me so dear?
Cards and letters I get but a few,
Prayers from momma on starting anew.
How Jesus died on a cross for my sin,
He spared my life by placing me in the pen.
In my reply to her letter I did write,
Sweet momma on my knees I pray each night.
Thanking Him for loving me enough to sacrifice His life,
And forgiveness for stabbing a man with a knife.
I have given my life to The Lord up high,
And momma I will see you in Heaven when I die.
Vicki L. Kilgore 9/5/15
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 9:23 AM UTC
Beautiful is not a word this world would use to describe me,
But you see God sent His only Begotten Son to die on a tree.
Because He found me worthy of His love not by sight,
But because He knew my heart was true and bright.
People can be so cruel with words their mouths do spout,
Making us feel so ugly, unloved, and lonely inside and out.
Do not let what worldly human beings do or say,
Lead your path, for they will only keep you astray.
Building themselves up at your expense,
Straddling they are a very dangerous fence.
For God says it’s better to be cold or hot,
Lukewarm in Heaven He will know you not.
Look not in the mirror but pray in your heart,
That others see Jesus in you not just the outer part.
He was not alone that day at Calvary you see,
I was with Him when He shed His blood for me.
Forgiven of all my sins before I was ever born,
Worthy of His love with each piercing thorn.
Sticks and stones may break my bones into,
But unkind words will help me turn away from you.
We can all be a Blessing to others with Godly love,
It is His desire to someday see us together above.
So before anger, jealousy, and hate you speak,
Get on your knees and let it be Jesus you seek.
Know the damage a cruel word can create,
May just be your inescapable adverse fate.
Forgive them Father for they know not what they do,
Is my daily prayer for this broken world and you!
Vicki L Kilgore 9/4/15
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 9:30 AM UTC