"jmb" poems
I think I saw my
Soulmate on the street
The other night.
I was walking along the sidewalk
That was dripping with rainwater.
The night was humming with
Its dark secrets.
And then suddenly I saw him.
I felt all the heavy
Decay and dead matter
Fall off my shoulders
And when I looked down,
I saw that it all had
Turned into feathers.
Millions of pictures flooded
My mind of what we could be
If only we knew each other's names.
I felt a joy deep inside places
I'm usually too afraid to even acknowledge.
Like my heart.
And my soul.
My stomach was full of butterflies.
My heart was full of sparks that
I need you to make into a
Passionate fire.
You passed with a warm smile
And suddenly I melted.
I should've melted into your arms, but
They weren't open, waiting to
Catch me.
But it's okay.
I don't blame you.
I know it's my fault.
I know I should open up more.
But I'm afraid.
When I saw you,
I wasn't afraid, not even for
One second.
I smiled back.
And said one word that made
Your smile open wider than
I ever thought possible.
"Hi."
I'd like to thank you, Soulmate.
I don't know your name,
Your age,
Your favorite song.
But you still somehow made me feel a way
I've never felt before.
I've never felt such joy.
I've never felt so brave.
I've never felt like
I could touch the stars
Before I saw you on that
Rainy street.
---
JMB
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 9:08 PM UTC
In youth group, we're reading a book called
Do Hard Things.
And I try.
Kind of.
We all had to sign up to do a "hard thing"
From the back of the book until Christmas.
I signed up for what
I thought would be the easiest:
Wake up early every morning to
Read my bible.
Easy?
Yeah right.
Honestly, I don't even know why
It's so hard.
I set my alarm for only half an hour earlier than usual
Almost every night.
But then when it goes off,
I reach down and turn it off.
I even moved my alarm clock
To the other side of my room so
I would stop doing that.
But I still do.
Why?
I honestly can't even
Give a good reason why
I don't just do it.
Maybe I'm just too lazy?
Maybe I go to bed too late at night?
Or maybe...
Maybe
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of what
I'll see when I
Finally open the Holy Book.
I'm afraid I'll see myself in all the
Stories of the sinners.
The sinners who were driven out
Of their homes and cities.
The sinners who were killed
For just being human and
Nothing more.
Yeah, maybe that's it.
Just maybe.
---
JMB
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 5:13 PM UTC
Nothing hurts more than knowing that i have to let go of someone i've waited for
Today i realized that saying good bye does not always mean 'i don't love you anymore'
Because when i said good bye to you, i meant 'i love you so much'
This will be the last time i'll have to let you go
The last time i will not be beside you
The last time i won't be holding your hand
And the last time i will be unfair to you
I'll be missing our late night talks at the back of the church
I'll be missing your touch
I'll be missing your corny jokes that make me want to roll my eyes all the time
And i will be missing you
One day, we will see why this had to happen
One day, i will be beside you again
One day, all this waiting will be worth it
One day, it will be us against the world
You will be here in my heart
I hope and pray that i'll stay in yours
Please wait for me
And i promise this will be that last time i'll have to let you go
~KDCB
Mar 5, 2017
Mar 5, 2017 at 11:26 PM UTC
I know my poems aren't perfect, but
Writing helps me
So I will write
Everyday.
Because I'm not perfect either.
---
JMB
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 9:33 PM UTC
I'm lost on a gravel road
In the middle of nowhere.
But it's okay.
In fact, I couldn't be
Happier about it.
Because sometimes
I get lost in my head
And I can't escape
No matter how much
I scream and cry for help.
The left and right sides of
My brain collide
And blood sprays everywhere
And my thoughts are all mixed up
andijustcantthinkandpleasemakeitstop
PLEASEIMBEGGINGYOUTOSAVEME
CANTYOUSEEME?
Nobody knows.
They don't hear me laughing at myself
Every time I look in a mirror.
They don't see me fall apart
And cower
Every time I see him
Because I think I'm in love,
But too much of a coward
To actually find out
Or even to just talk to him as a friend.
I used to be brave.
I used to be fearless
And not give two *****
About what anyone thought of me.
But everything is different now.
Only getting to relax when
I'm laying under a
Blanket of stars.
Only getting to
Really breathe when
I'm sitting next to one of
My best friends while she
Hits the gas and
We cruise down a dark, gravel road.
She takes a wrong turn.
I'm lost on a gravel road
In the middle of nowhere.
But it's okay.
---
JMB
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 6:48 PM UTC
I don't want to die.
Okay, let me rephrase that.
I mean I don't want a typical death.
I want it to be unforgettable.
I don't want to die any of the ways
That have already been used.
Car accidents.
Burning.
Health problems.
******
Suicide.
OD
And much more.
You see, all these ways of death
include something else:
Statistics.
I don't want to be a statistic when I die.
I don't want the only remaining part of me
To be just a single number
Buried under millions more.
But I don't have a say in the matter,
Do I?
---
JMB
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 6:20 PM UTC
his strong, callused hands,
trained to grip and hold the toughest,
the roughest,
yet so gentle against my fingers,
my limbs.
his commanding voice,
built for authority,
booming with power,
reduced to a calm cadence to worship
me.
he loved me,
and I let him.
his affection, much like the ocean,
buoyed me in its consistency,
yet threatened to suffocate me
in its magnificence.
he was constancy
and romance,
there was persistence
in his softness.
a juxtaposition in corporeal form.
he had none of what I wanted,
half of what I needed.
and although
loneliness leaked into my nights,
he loved me
and I left him.
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 2:31 AM UTC