Your hands are posed up in front of your body,
as if you are warding off bad things.
But your face is waiting.
Fingers come up to meet yours,
weaving themselves around you.
They are my own.
Our palms press against each other,
a fire igniting beneath us.
The white blue flames licking our toes.
How can a simple touch
feel so rewarding?
I lean in so the tip of my nose grazes the stubble,
stiff, but I can still feel the softness of skin
below your jaw.
I want to take that skin in between my teeth
and ****
and make you want me more.
But this isent about ***
No, this is so much more.
I inhale that intoxicating scent.
A scent that can't be described as anything but you.
Just a simple smell, so intense
that it wraps its self around my chest
and squeezes, until I release my breath.
Unable to hold on to it any longer.
Your arms move around my waist
and they are pulling me in closer.
But im drifting.
Blackness is consuming you
while my ears are perking,
ajusting to a horrible high pitched noise.
I roll over,
shifting under my stiff cold sheets.
A green 7:00am flashes in the dark
as I embark on another day without you.

As you stand there yelling at me I can't deside,
Wither to go to the kitchen and stab myself,
Or sit there and listen to you bring me down for the tenth time,

I chose option B because you tell me to grow up,
And you deside what I will do when I'm older,
Because what I want to be isent good enough for your life style,

You are planing tommrow while I live tommrow,
With a laughter and a smile,
You live with flash cards and notes,

For I chose to live of studying,
And you are jelous of it,
For I will never grow up until I have fully expericened life.

This might sound rude
    But right now im not in the mood
Listening to little kids as a mother sings her babys to sleep
     Talking to my boy as hes sayen hes about to leave
   Im just sayen im not in the best mood
My body isent funtioning in the way id like
And id rather not be sober on this ok night
   Id rather be doing something
    Somthing other then miss you
My father
    Your name
Well thats easy its chad
Your postion
Was a father
A husband
A listener
A provider
And the best part of chad
You made the choice to love and take care of me when you dident have to
    You wer a great dad
And i miss you dearly
You were the best person iv ever known
    My hart longs for you
        Chad
I had just started calling you dad
The day you passed
All o wanted was for you to stay home
To ride bikes with me but insted you had to work
   You had to leave
My daddy i miss you  
I just wanna hear your voice

My head on your chest
And Lord knows I'm a mess
But that steady beat i hear keeps me in time

That look in your eyes
Your hands shaking like mine
And I cant keep you out of my mind

No denying this feeling
These cards are self dealing
All i want is to stay by your side

And the world could come crashing down
Around my head
But i just wont mind
So long as I'm here
With your arms wrapped around me
I know it will be just fine

'Cause i cant shake this feeling that there is no turning back now

You sigh in your sleep
And most things just don't keep
But hearing you breathe makes me think that whats gold can stay


I remember it all
I remember the fall
And the sun just keeps rising since then

This feeling inside
I just cant seem to hide
Then i look in your eyes and its there
And it's there
And it's there

The touch of your lips
Your hands rest on my hips
And we clasp hands so tight that it hurts

You fear for the worst
But that's not how it works
'Cause you see I'm in love with this boy

I play with your hair
And it just isent fair
That time wont stop for me
And for you
And for you

So long as your here
With your arms wrapped around me
I know it will be just fine

We live a life were..
   Kids are distracted from crying by phones
      A little kid knows the moms password be for he can speak
  Were kids instead of going outside
We'll they'd rather stay in,
     Playing on Facebook or Twitter
Whatever that is.
And I'll admit I spend some of my time
   On my Facebook doing nothing
But scrolling down.
Being board
     When we all could go out and bike
Or skate, or take a walk
     When instead of useing our phones
Witch is a trapped society in its own
    We could ask a stranger for directions
   We could use what god has given us
It's called speech and our hands
  Use the words you know
Or the hands to sign.
Put the phone and the laptops down
   Take in the relization
That there's a world to be descoverd
Look at the sky and listen to the birds  
   Not saying musice is bad becase I'm **** to say it's something I love
   But putting it aside the other day
I relized just how much I missed..
Just being out side.
Yea......
This is our society
We can always change it
     But not unless we want to
So instead of haveing your musice in
Or being on Facebook
Or twitter or other media sites
Go be with a Frieand
Go for a walk and talk
Like when you were 10
Playing out side on the playground
Amazing your never to old for that :)
   Don't listen to the haters
Belive in what you want and go have a good time with some Frieands
I know our parents always Say stranger danger
     But howed you get to know the kids you call friends now?
Good luck out there and smile tomorrow's a new day it isent over.

I’m not sure if it’s the soldier in me or just the father in me. I feel helpless when I see things like what Christopher watts did. It makes me sit back and wonder what this world is about. I think about my daughter and son, and the innocents of a child and their love for their parent. How the two little girls sat in that back seat and trusted their father and loved him, even has he killed his first daughter the second daughter never doubted him.  
    Sometimes I sit by myself and look at my hands and remember that these hands have pulled a trigger. I remember that my boots have walked a narrow path hoping not to step on a IED. I remember the last thought that run through my head before I watched my friend **** himself. I remember what it was like when we got the call one of our squad leaders stepped on a IED and that there was a good chance he wouldn’t make it home to his family. I remember listen over the radio the day our friend’s life was taken when they engaged in a firefight. And I remember the days I go home and seems like all this happened just yesterday. When I look in the mirror I sometimes wonder was it all real……. How could I have done and seen all this. I think about my kids, my wife and sometimes picture would life would have been like for them if I would have never made it home.
    They say no man ever really comes home from war. When I hear this I don’t always know what to think. I try to figure out what these words really mean. I try to picture my life in 20 years, will I still struggle, and will I even remember the things I did when I was young, or will I even be here in 20 years. Was it all worth it? I guess that’s the question every man ask himself……. The nightmares, the sleepless nights, the migraines, having to watch tv with sub titles on, the 27 year old feeling 40, the depression. There is a sense of always wishing you were back over there, things were simple.
    Somehow all these things come back from just watching a video about Christopher Watts, Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact you realize everything you did really doesn’t matter. There are monsters in this world and all we can do is hope they don’t come for us and the people we love. Then there is another part of us that wishes they would. You wish you were given another opportunity to rid the world of these monsters, even if you die doing it. Wouldn’t that stop all the nightmares, the depression? Wouldn’t you find peace? Isent that what we all are looking for, Peace? Im not sure I will ever find peace, nor will anyone that has ever been to war. It will live in us somewhere for the rest of our lives and all we can do is hope to figure out how to live with it.
.