I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INSANE. GETTING ****** AROUND LIKE A PUPPET THAT HAS NO WAY OR PATH.

I lay awake with nothing but scatter minded thoughts. I feel like I don't know where to go with no sence of direction.

It's 2 am and I'm still not asleep my mind had full controll as I just get dragged along.

I feel like screaming but I will only makescape people think I'm a psychotic bipolar monster.


I have no way out trapedal in a glass prisom that is unbreakable suffocating with no sleep just going loopy.


I lost my fear with abusing energy drinks.


I'm not insaine I'm not insaine I'm not insaine.


Every thought every word I'm lost with now direction.


Only knowing I'm going to loseither control and crash and burn.

I'm lost scatter minded and I'm bipolar and I can't escape being feeling like a puppet  being played by the evil sensation

Of bipolar disorder scatter minded

Today i was sitting under the shower
and thinking
thinking about all the teenage woes i have
and how the stupidest things can
consume my attention
in the midst of this i had a
moment when my mind
cleared and
just
stopped
thinking.
.
.
.
i focused on the little drops of watter
massaging my skin
this sensation sent a shiver up my spine.
for some reason the widest grin
appeared on my face
i felt as happy as a five year old
i closed my eyes and tilted my head
towards the water source.
the warmth ran down my face.
as the water seeped into my my nose and
between my lips i felt
alsmost as if i were
drowning.
....
when i realised i was being waistful,
i turned the faucet off and became
hypnotized by the steady dripping
id like the believe this event was significant
but i think it only further proves my insanity

night falls
but i dont
all night awak
with nothing to do
with nothing dut thoughts
sun rises up
i look out
my mind is crazy
so am i said
my own counsious
breaking
sleep
going slowly insaine
scared ashamed of what a perfect mistake
being what you were made
finding out what you are
seeing the freak in your own eyes
society screws and kills
my eyes are blood shot
more less sleep makes me want to scream but i need to know my store
scares fill my face making you look like a train wreck that cause the scares

who are u do i know you
are you the threat of me
shouldi just keep going crazy
no answeres have been made
your all alon in the big wide world
normal people scare me when i freak out when they come near me

no sleep turning me in to a scary monster at 3:00 am just like when u see ascary monster i am the scary monster

poepl look at me i might be kinda paranoid since every ones silence
i dont know who i am expent my every mistake.
i splacsh water in my face
but that dosnt change a thing
this wold has no boundryies
i see the reflection of my self in ther meior
i puch the mior shattering glass in my fist
anger grows deep
when society is just a mistake you make

i go insaine do i follow or decay

playing every little game getting your hoodie pulled up. messing around. playing ***** pranks tourching me. when i try running she is allways in  the corner following you day and night. im lossing my mind i cant escape her claws that dig slowly deeper as she poles me down to the empty grave.im losing my mind i might be going insaine to the biggest part of the deepest hell. what is left there aint no where to run or hid cause she always knows where my next location is. this psych ***** has taken my life in to her own paranoya game she smuthered me till i can scream no more. every road i cant take cause shell drag with my claws dragging behind. this ****** ***** is making me go insaine with lossing control tearing up the floor. theres no escape from her grasp i think this is the day i know she will end my life

im going to snap from the claw marks that left ripps down my back!!


how many times have i ran idk cause this ******* crap has no road to meaning. i am running from a ****** ***** who cant get her little crush off me.


no place ti hide no place to speak

**** **** **** i cant escap from my ****** ex girl
but there is allways light at the end of the tunnel with a chance to survive




her mom told me her wall is covered in pictures of me in her closet more and more pictures she took with her phone. i dont know how to escape to the next town cause she is a shadow with a messed up twist she has t shirts and pants and every thing with my picture and name on it.

when she is at school she hands out patitions to get us back to gather.

im gone mad less every thing is she cant let go of me cause she is only attrakted to the freaky **** of me  theres no escape AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

A fly flew out of my window,
What a silly thing to do .
Driven insaine by the noon day heat ,
Out to blue sky's flew,
Out to relentles noon days sun .

A fly flew from my window no longer inprisoned in my room ,
To wandering sky's it travelled ,
to flame filled sky's belonged .

As evenings Suns. On Grenfell towers fell the night before the fire
like heavens stars shone in grace .

A fly flew out my window to blackened sky inflamed ,
and dark clouds circled all around in soot and fire and pain .

For in morning time Christs loving arms to the lost would embrace ,
and those below kept searching for loved ones to hug and hold

For our body's are no more than cheap disposable takeaway containers with unseen riches untold.
To every Christ believer city's await paved with Gold .


A ghostly shell of hell on earth stands tall above Kensingtons
Well to do ,
Empty houses ,
With empty rooms ,
Stand idle whilst homeless walk in streets of gold without a
Flamin clue .
Oh the many that gathered brought food love and drink .

The forgotten rose with banners Held high with anger in their hearts , to City hall with flame and sword justice for their dead .

A fly flew out of my window to hollow sky's of grey ,
To rainbows all around a beam of light struck its tiny wing ,
to charred timber it rested ,
On what was once a home ,
A fly flew from what was once a window
to blue sky's above .

The sun found its evening rest in the courts of God above .







...

im tired of being traped like a animal in a cadge. let me out to take to the streets.
let me roam around exploring what i need to see. nothing cant hold back when you hold my anger back. you push back me ill attack you slashing you apart. set me free to go insaine let me o free in this world of mistery. let me free so my viloence  wont be come like my long claws scaching down the chalk board. set me free to learn how every lifes misterys. set me free to enjoy the littel things .let me free cause im not a animal that is tame. im a animal witth dangerous claws that can slash you apart. set me free to take off  running. set mee free so i dont **** you when you lock me away

i have crashed in to the middel of the desert. i have lost hope since theres nothing out here to save my words to write my fear of dying. i feel like im spinning in my own memories that fade away. i keep seeing the same patch of rocks. i dont know but i need the cool shad befor i fall over. i could keep walking but theres no chance of sivilization so maybe ill scream and go crazy.  i keep walking the sand rocks. but its just the circles that trapme in my own insaine liitle game. the wild greens i ate have mad me additted to rhe barries witch bring a high.  the heat grows stronger. i even wonder who i am since theres no name to even know me. the san feels nice on my feet but the sun blisters my patciants its own self.  i feel like i am going in cicles  when i dont know who the **** i am. my madness has grew and my addition to the barries made time stop.

When you wake up its there
Pop! out of nowhere
A sort of despair..

words rhyme
its time

This pain
Insaine
Depressed
Compressed
Wound till' snap
Can't take this crap
Shut off that brain
Pretend to be tame

No fun to be had
When you're  suddenly sad
This bipolar game
My life it does reign

I guess I cope
Just **** ****
And choke choke
Back the tears
And hidden fears
***** and ****
Are all I need

But its always there waiting
For my resolve to start fading

Pure energy long lasting. The pure high I drift into and drift out. Trying to chase that feeling I'll never know for the time we have to mature and grow.

I'm not insaine. Buy I am a psychotic machine chasing something you will never be able to feel the same.


I am my own malevolent addiction to stupid **** I'll never win back.


I will chase the feeling of my highs and lows. But I will never end up strong if I'm weak as hell

my own words i want people to hear my words. i want the world to hear my poetry heal the ones who need it. i want people to know my words need to be heard
every poem or sentence means the world to be heard.
i dont do good with socializing much. but i would rather show you a world where you can scream the world. i hope to show you a world o free to go ******* insaine what ever you want. take the pen or brush and paint your words make people read what your heart desiers.  make your own room smash the table smach the chair threw the windos

Nothing seems to matter when she took my hands and told me to follow her into the night we laughed we played we hugged we kissed my heart is burning  with passion and her firery lust she hits me like a train with I feel her skin agents mine every day disappears litle by little when my every hope and my every dream and my every day dream become reality am i going insaine or am i finally happy where i wanted to be

Inside me there is a evil that grows when my anger grows i lose contol and go insaine.

Lets play a game a game of ******* up peoples minds

The demons will play so will i agame you will never beable to survive


On my body my mind will scream for how may weeks i havent slept


Night go by awake all night with nothing but the engery of life


Your regrets are real its time let the demons escape into reality letting the ugly side of you terrize the life you chose to live



My pure heart is what has kept me alive no evil could break my pure heart the leads and guides me threw the gates of living hell




Lets play a game a game of twisted minds will you dare to play the game of twistdd minds unleashing your evils ugly side out



I thing you should you will purify your own self and let your wounds heal


Will you like to play my game and see what will arrive

There is a black heart in a tower full of hurtful harmful things ,
and the rains pored down for hours
And there are flowers and black orchids.                                                yet none of them are ripe
And so the seed that I once planted Have all  been  trampled in the night .
by the jailers who now guard me,
with prongs and knifes and hooks .

But you once said you love me,
but that was two thousand years ago .

But There is a black heart in a tower ,
guarded by a thief upon a cross ,
he sat me down ,we talked for hours ,
about  love and what I had lost .
But there is a black heart in a tower ,
and it’s calling out my name
like the rains which are now incessant they are  driving me insaine .

But you once told me that you loved me ,
Oh won’t you say it again ,
this time not with hearts and flowers ,
but by calling out my name,
Play a love song to my heart ,
sing the songs of the lyre
Oh won’t you set this heart on fire ?

I want to feel those nails inside me ,
to take this heart and turn it to white ,
to feel that love forever ,
in this God forsaken night .