Every heart fiber aches,
as they stretch with each rapid beat.
It’s a pain I haven’t felt before,
an alluring, addicting pain my body craves;
A masochistic drive through the innerds of my soul,
craving the racing pulse that causes my throat to close,
and muscles to tense in paralysis,
so all that can be felt is the desperate pounding
of my heart against my chest.
The pressure builds as if
it will at any moment escape and float away,
leaving my body in shock.
That losing the pain,
which comes every time I think of you,
would not bring the relief that I have escaped this self destructive lust.
Because without that pain,
I wouldn’t feel the hurt and longing that the stories tell.
The beautiful, scary, blinding burn of being.
To love and to care, without return.
Just needing you to always be there
so the pain won’t go away.