Matron of the festival,
child of the hazy dream land,
herald of the time strayed deities.
With a raspy roar you call us out from our withered inflection,
into the maddening fire hive
rampantly dancing like indigineous arcane inventions.
Water bearer to the fractured hillside warriors,
queen of the concrete paradise,
ferry us to the elusive body of the moment
and rid us of our abnormal myopic reality.
Wandering child,
Beautiful child,
your epic expedition is at its timely genesis.
I pray the world is prepared
for your vivid prismatic anima
and the staunch anthem of revolution.

i always found the real crux of horror to be the sound, rather than the image: you are sure to watch every horror movie there is on mute and barely flinch... as if to say: about that man in the sky? he's in a vacuum, and what he sees is hardly that horrific, in need of intervention.

and may i add... sound doesn't underline
the image, nor does it compliment it,
it's there out of its own right -
    which begs the question of nosferatu...
           if i remember, a silent movie...
and the epitome of further b-movie horror types:
if it ain't got the perfect chiller-score...
it ain't happening.

i only say this, because i have just been
watching a bbc2 documentary on
francis bacon...
      but it's not really about the documentary
that i'm suddenly prompted:

and so the saturday papers
land in my lap...
      and it's hard not to notice the saturday
times* magazine...
      and how there's this focus on selling images,
or how to get from 212 to 5K followers
on instagram...
           they really have created
a grotesque version of carpe diem, haven't they?
i always imagined carpe diem to
be something like a memory of a single
chance at catching that blimmin' unicorn...
   but to carpe diem, carpe diem, carpe *******
diem that maxim 100 times in a day?
  oh look... a doughnut... oh look:
a stampede of commuters trapped in a hamster
maze of the Tottenham Court Rd. station...
    i've never seen such an abuse of a maxim
as i see now... it's either carpe diem: truly,
extending well beyond a month or a year and
gives birth to an atypical nostalgia...
or it's diem epilepsia -
    then again it might be called:
                                         blitzkrieg tag...
         oh there's nothing stupid about it,
let's not be condescending...
                             we need more models than
plumbers, we'll get the construction workers
from eastern europe,
             josh sho we can pose and talk
        posh tosh... with those purshed lipsh...
and i do get squinty-eye eating a pickled raw
herring... smacker a dozen extras and we're
en route, to the moovies...
       this bound to make more sense to me,
to the point where i like saying these things
once of wolkewein is in me -
since i'm currently not even sniggering:
well, there was the fact that i saw the results
from France's presidential first round (april 23)...
as if the current times didn't need
a biblical reference... about how the EU /
revival of the roman empire...
      would be / like that statue in nebuchadnezzar
be standing with a golden head...
    silver torso... (pst... if you're a journalist
working for a respectable newspaper, turn away,
now... us religious fanatics can keep a dream
by some king for a long time, and drape reality
with it, give or take 3000 years)...
    because there... standing on clay tip-toe...
the moment you shout
    into a forest rather than a cave and hear
an echo...
                    it's biblical realism, i really can't
imagine it otherwise... but hey!
                the Europeans tried to be united...
then again, they realised they were the indigineous
people... and they all spoke their own tongue...
   or maybe they were bored by speaking English
all the time? maybe they said: ****'s with these
terrible accents? so they went back home and
spoke in pristine, middle-class accents...
                      and thus said: ah, that's better.
a bit like: try talking Glaswegian in Chelsea...
   they'd ask you if you're chewing on a toothpick
sooner than tell you where the nearest
tube station is; but you know, i'm just a little man
in a big big world... and if i wasn't writing a
commentary about the times i live in...
                           wouldn't i? i surely would...
it's even more fantastic than seeing Troy pillaged...
or Rome and in the background Nero's lyre...
  something more precious is crumbling...
         it's these dreams, ambitions and hopes
and guarantees that are burning...
     and they are more fantastic to watch than
any temple or citadel...
   then again: i could be thinking these things prematurely,
which would mean they're a load of *******...
i don't, i always liked the idea of a quiet life
in a small town in Finland... where i couldn't
get a newspaper, and get so agitated about my
impotence in terms of changing the world as the people
littering the pages are capable of...
                 then again: that's probably a good thing -
minimum effort, maximum result,
or as we love to say:
   from geocentrism, to heliocentrism... through
to egocentrism... which can only mean one thing:
              egononcentrism - otherwise known as the people.

i am sorry.

i am sorry....
that peoples, of a different colour.
came from wherever,
upon great hulking ships
with sails of white
and humanity degraded,
lost beyond heaven's sight. and misunderstood
your nations and land.
your dreaming time,
and native life.

i am sorry ...
this caused, so much loss, death and strife

i am sorry...
with their need and conquering ways they,
over much time,
generations in fact.
showed you,
the indigineous so little grace.

i am sorry...
for the generations of death.

i am sorry ...
for the generation of lost.

so sorry ...
to those, still paying the cost and looking for family and clan.

i am sorry ...
for the, communities lies,
indifference and fear.

i am sorry ...
that still you suffer and die. younger, than you should.

but now......
you and i,
must become... we
and change the world,
with hard work and harmony.
we must make it, better, safer, healthier....

more...
education,
less preaching.
more...
mental health checks
less blame.
healthier ways of living. giving.....
knowledge goes both ways. more...
hope in a bright, bright future.
more...
consultation, understanding of language and ways.
less...
empty rhetoric and laywer's plays.

i am sorry ....
for the past.

but...
ultimately and completely hopeful...
for the future.

i forgot i wrote a poem and re-posted poems
by others onto my page
and i'm thinking about social media
Descartes
and tomorrow
i'm going to work the Sam Fender concert
and don't know Sam Fender
but i know the Fender guitar
and that's not cliche:
that's only language of a 39er
a 39 year old man
i am a man
not a child i think she knows that or perhaps
R. is a miracle when she conceived her
and it is as if that's transcendental
i think i could be her son
with pure biology reigned
she is 18 years older than me
and R is 14... so work out why i'm 39...

now i also know Sam Fender
and i'm Seventeen Going Under
and i will have to buy R a t-shirt
that's like postcards from my life
but more
just buying t-shirts
i think those are sails for the draft
a pieced together magic carpet
on the sea
when you tell the sea to be air
the magic carpet changes...

i was at Wimbledon and i think i'm saying
goodbye
and i said so to my grandmother
and my uncle and the dead
and now i'm saying goodbye to my mother
and father and i don't think there are
regrets
when i went mad aged 21
and thought i was a poet
so i still think now
with interests in IT
politics and human and life
and robots now too
so i thought about social media
and authenticity and profilicity:
self-profiling for the public
like one's own CCTV
so not so very oppressive but if you
can live a life as a couch potato
on the sofa only watching t.v.
or living a moment in life
like the Wimbledon Championship
in the interactive web of CCTV
Plato's Cave
the people behind the shadows
the security officers
at events
the membrane of a humanity coming together
unlike in the **** of democracy
the democracy that ****** us off
and not in the monarch's and the patriarch's arms
saying to you:
R i'm so ******* weird i think
this reality is weird
and it's not like i like the idea of a wife
that will contest who will need
my care and being there
when both mother and my wife ask
when they might be nearing the end:
oh what a task: woman, you gave me:
perhaps JEsus Christ had it easier
with a cross... than carrying a woman
like Atlas... on the back...
perhaps it would have been easier
to Carry the Cross...
i think it would be much easier
to carry the cross with christ
than it would be to carry or walk feet-mind
with woman:
and the definitely there: devil...
Heidegger's Da-Sein
i mean this energy such a fixation on autism and
philosophical-solipsism
like stoicism
like cynicism
but solipsism was not founded by any Greek
famous philosopher...
there was no school of Solipsism:
there emerged Sophia:
with two words
Theosophism Theosophy...
ancient school of Solipsism
is a school of thought that makes stoicism
and cynicism a rhetorical tools
to equate a neutral ground for the mind to take root
and be give birth to a tree later
a leaf: BELIEF: be-life
believe... and belief... now believe! i'll taunt you!
be-life! with the devil of da-sein!
a life! and give me the fruit of your mind
give me a bite of your ego...
your egg
perhaps i will give you an egg
rather than an apple
i will be the devil that will give you the egg
a magical tree
that grows on a tree
like money
i will be this devil
i will give you an egg from a tree
i will say it's a fruit...
and i will leave you there...
that would be my only life...

the thoughts would get me drunk when coupled with emotions-grief-like-drugs....

had to think of a title...
but that would be my genesis story:
i would pluck an egg from a tree
and that would be the forbidden tree
i would pluck an egg from a tree
after having pressed two apples
into a cider and got tipsy and sniffed
some Polish grass from the field
i will be dementia riddled
then i'll eat some magic mushrooms and i will
go on fighting while my grandfather
didn't have the spirit of adventure
and died by the television
and penitent recovering alcholic
but i have the spirit of adventure
and fair enough he was like a pillar
of enough words to tease my IQ over...

             but i woke up with a dream
where i was dreaming....
where i was swimming
and kicking my legs
and my mind apart
a funny thought
that wasn't a dream
a dream of reflexes and delayed reflections
and the dynamic of the reflexive mind
in old age
and not the reflective mind in old
that allows memory to sweep and seep in
and distort that not even keeping up
with the news and daily crosswords
and keeping up with soap operas doesn't help...
the boss calls me up and says he wants me to get
there early like... 11am?
Tony from E.E.S. calls me...
                wait wait... just working football stadiums
and dealing with thugs
now is working at Wimbledon...
i passed by Vallorie...
this old woman i work with
so i guess now there will be
whispers
how did Matthew get to work at Wimbledon...
how did Matthew get a job at
Wimbledon and
doing! **** me! he's on the RESPONSE TEAM...
but did you see how he was dressed?
he took: SMART-CASUAL to the next level!
he took how he dressed! to the next level!
oh simple joy like
i have the fur of a fox and a hyena...
no no!
don't come for 11am...
your sign in is for 1pm.... but just come after noon...
an hour before the before time...

        little world literature: not exactly feeling like goo-
but at least feel good like glue:
at least i'm keeping the words intact and i
try to forget:
if the problem of Europe's the continent
that funnels the movement of people against
the other continents
then treat Europe in that Special Place
as being the Only Temporal Continent
Europe is not a Spatial Continent:
Asia moves through
Africa moves through
sons... daughters!
we have created our freedom!
let us love Europe
when we move away
and come back and leave grand
train stations
let's be the IDIOM LIBERALISM-AWAY
and Conservatism-ELSE...

but Europe can be a pseudo-Continent
like Israel is a pseudo-Arab country
in the middle east....
Africa stays...
there was never really a united Europe
that's the problem
there can only be a united
America-Africa-Australia-America:
666!
AAAA!
like             ASIA!
America America North South
two almost continent
like when South America drifted from
Africa
and somehow attached
itself to the umbilical chord
of Mexico...
and north american
but yes.... AMERICA! AFRICA! AUSTRALIA! ASIA!
and Europe is not really a continent
if
only if you think of Russia and Poland
and a people that moved the least
that is the only little Poland
i think just that part of land is worth
the argument of the indigineous people
of the continent....
the rest is a fluid mix of people from
the words of the Roman Empire...
the English were once Kelts...
ok oh ok chop chop! get moving
but the people of the Great Migration
didn't actually move that far
the Poles were the laziest
they lay in a field having left
the great dark forest of your yet
ability to feld
and give honey manna from the sun...
but the other people moved so far apart
Europe can't be a spatial continent
Europe must be an Eternal Component
and part Continent:
but the Vatican and Lucifer's Venice....
the Jewish Venice...
i am yet to see Rome....
and perhaps i go i will win something
and have enough free money
to have a weekend in Rome
like a Pope
like not looking for love
like already bein married
big G...
i mean to see Rome like a lowly oh shoe
and crimson glaring i do just
want to be alone and lastly say goodbye
to Europe and leave it with peace...
oh i believe it took the French
enough inbreeding moments to craft the cheese:
and only in Europe:
but what the **** will you do
when America-Africa-Asia-Australia
are treating Europe like a *******...
sort of happy time travel
existential disneyland
i mean we can go back
to the farmers of Ukraine
and Russia just said!
you ******* rebel! against Europe!
i support you all the way!
this is how Russia loves Ukraine
and makes jokes of Europe!
give me your political correctness strip naked
to a transgender liberal pseudo apocalypse
punk-clown-goth...
me n ot sober?
this is the spirit of Poland rebelling
at sniffing the sick
and i know why there's a war in Ukraine:
the Slavic people would rather fight against
themselves
than succumb to an octopus capitalism
not the sort of communism
and it's a mind virus
post-capitalistic
i hope you don't see it my way...
but it's a mind virus
the great descent of either god or devil
or neither...
just how offspring behave when born into
polar opposites:
i want to leave Europe like a sterile ground...
the road was paved from Chernbyll
and how did my psyche collapse
i think
forget
how many times was
an attempt made on my life
i was told of
i was asked to be killed
from birth
in the hospital almost choked to death
etc.
pain is memory blocker:
i want to forget certain things
and if i keep to my athletic of writing
i will not think of much....

but it hurt so much that i forgot
being online last night...
i forgot that i was online
i think that's the realization of the ills
of this exposure...
jumping bait: spider-carrot...

who beside a serpent
a tiger
a monkey said
to another monkey:
a mushroom
a hallucinogenic ****
perhaps it was a story of
Adam and Adam or
how does it go:
Adam and Steve....
i think it was a hallucinogenic
**** *******
whether byproduct is actual
homosexuality
then yeah
once upon a time
there was cohesion of genius
and that's why the pyramids were
built
and only the Eiffel tower was built
as tall if not taller after...

because there was no Competition
of the Solipsistic School:
which was covert:
kept secret by the highest Caste of the Mantra
of Solipsism:
the Retards and Broken Hold our Census...
our Herald for Nations and Continents...

there was a congregation of genius and intellect:
which later became coupled with inequality of woman's
choices:
because the autism Copernicus
and the genius of Galileo
for rhetoric... now call it the Copernican-Galilean
coupling: eternal...
think how it happened when
intelligent minds worked together
before the glut of the people who need to talk...

but Europe can't remain a stable place:
too many ants in their pants states...
how many people in Europe haven't moved
at all...
can we treat Europe like
we treat the London Underground...
i mean:
we can be Europeans in Africa
like the South Africans
and at least we know what went
wrong under Communism and
what happened right in South Africa...
at least we know how post-Colonial states...
better wonder about South Africa
than being so ***-buckled-bugged
upon the Collapse of the British Empire
i am still grieving the Partition of
the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth...
i'd rather think of post-colonialism and the
argument for South Africa...
if the problem of immigration from Africa
into Europe
then i am the first....
SALUTE! MATEUSZ KONRAD ELERT
i petition for our claim to South Africa...
i want a piece of Africa...
i want my land!
come into Europe!
i want South Africa back...
you didn't live here: ******! too cold! too cold!
i want a post-Europe back:
can i have the South African lands back...
you didn't live in south africa: niggz...
you didn't live in south africa!
i want my south africa back!
you give me back south africa
so i can take the french, the english,
the italians the spanish the germans....
some weird greeks...
but the greeks are in with the Jews
and the Turks... ok...
we not taking them....
no Scandinavians...
they were too ugly to the English
the Slavs are keeping the Scandinavians...
we are the people of the "continent"
you gave us Rome and Jupiter and London
you *******...
let us curate it... like perfection:
don't worry about who delivers what kangaroo
and what raccoon...
          
      but i need my south africa back, mate...
i need my part of the continent:
sure thing: you come here with the idiot arabs
and their sand-dusters of machines vroom vroom
like idiot idea of conquest
forgot to mention:
oh yeah... Arabia is not treated like a continent:
sub-continent thinking
unlike India
that's considered a sub-continent:
Arabia is not deemed a sub-continent
of Asia...
because... it's *******... a later starter...
the easy **** with sand under your *******
until the Jews comes and you repay Jews
by sending them to the Germans...
well... to the Poles... but then obviously
you did some so bad that
a Polish boy and a Jewish girl
heard about it or something
so ******
the Germans were the tools of the deeds
but the Arabs were the masterminds
of the Holocaust
and i guess the origins of Israel is rather
Unique it's a cognitive conundrum
a democracy a nation a people
agreeing then
disagreeing yet still banding together...
oh yeah: war in Ukraine?
of course the Ukrainians that they are
getting so cheap
it's like Russia laughing:
guess who the **** we are rearming...
we're getting ready to invade...
you idiots just have us weapons!
and the Poles are like...
are we here, ready... for the rollercoaster?
are we going to war?!
wow!
what sympathy for Ukraine:
the amount of weapons they are getting
idiots are arming their enemy
i mean: RETARDO LASSO! RAPHEL ROSSO TED
LASSO!