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The Figurative Nail Hit On The Hair Strand Size Head!

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
absolutely, intuitively, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer

nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.

Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant

(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies

his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,

he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices

of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and

unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland

(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...
Everybody wears a mask
That hides the unseen
So people can’t see us bleed
My mask is decorated with a smile
That can light up the world
Expect mines
My unseen is an illness
That destroys from the inside
Never out
It’s like playing Russian roulette
Never know when I might be out
My mask is beautiful and light
But my soul is trapped with no way out
So while you smile and laugh
At my natural deadly humor
I cry and scream for
hypotension and Iron deficiency to let me out
Or maybe my hypothyroidism
Will revolve into cancer
And my mask will finally crack
And I will be out
Walking the stairs to heaven
To see Earl and Ronell
With their arms out
I just wanna be free from my mask
Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the core)  
easily plucked out courtesy tweezer,
this har nonestablishmentarian,
never prevaricator nor crowd pleaser,

whose barreled chest attests quantity
maximum grog, which equals capacity of keezer,
or analogous to quaffing
amount stout beer downed by yours truly
(rough estimation by dickens)
equivalent to hinted wealth of Ebenezer
Scrooge, who could hypothetically
purchase abundant amount of ale.

Above fabrication nonsense yay
figurative hook to grab attention my way
ain't one applicable factual word written,
cuz I take poetic license
with no intended off fence touché
harmless figurative foil
as usual trademark innocent word play
geezer who sports brown golden locks
employs good humor as keyway
to unlock mine mindscape entranceway.

After posting poem comb what may,
drink'n like vichyssoise floundering fiend,
I reluctantly brush aside
male pattern baldness without dismay,
cuz patrilineal genetic trait
shows no happy shiny pate
rather paternal ancestry
somewhat thick with strands
turning sixty plus shades of gray.

The following recounts true account
one hundred purse cent
actual bonafide certifiable event
attested to courtesy one germane gent
badinage represents laughable intent
as he deeply inhales cigarette brand Kent.

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
former long haired pencil necked geek
absolutely, intuitively, erroneously, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply rooted in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer

nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.

Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant

(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies

his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,

he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices

of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and

unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland

(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...
I suppose... see:)?

twas approximately early/mid March
nineteen ninety six begat your fate
obstetrics and gynecology specialist(s)
signalled impending birth (due) date

about nine months later
December twenty second, and how great
our respective ecstatic mental/emotional state
upon beholding bundle of joy
a miracle of life, we helped create
perhaps chuckles will titillate.

Since your "mother" then diagnosed with
Group B Streptococcus also known as
Group B Strep Infection (GBS),
we needed to forego
intent to access facilities at
Bryn Mawr Birth Center.

Hence envision (somewhat comedic in retrospect)
Abby Robin heavy with child,
she (heading in one direction)
somewhat harried styled
and expectant "mother"
without doubt somewhat riled
being tethered with intravenous tubes
forced to schlep (attired as if exiled)
heading from Bryn Mawr Birth Center
to Bryn Mawr Hospital.

During active labor, par for course
(which truth be told got induced,
methinks ye would have been
an Xmas bubelah,
cuz doctor averse to putter around
I believe sought to clinch golf match),
nevertheless her ****** did dilate natch
really between six and ten centimeters
head of newborn crowned out the hatch
resembling Brassica oleracea var. capitata
grown in cabbage patch.

Once scrumptious bouncing
baby girl successfully birthed,
passed the Apgar test with flying
(red, white, and blue colors),
the first screening administered she received
most newborns given; the scores —
rated on a scale of 0 to 10, and taken
one minute and again five minutes after birth —
reflecting baby's general condition.

Actually 21 (or more) types
of blood screens completed:
A single blood test looked
for at least 21 serious genetic,
metabolic, hormonal and functional disorders,

including PKU, hypothyroidism,
congenital adrenal hyperplasia,
biotinidase deficiency,
maple syrup ***** disease,
galactosemia, homocystinuria,
medium-chain acyl-CoA.

Passage of your pinteresting life initially
hashtagged by days, then weeks,
months (milestones recorded),
and eventually happy Earth orbitz anniversary
celebrations acknowledged.

As a young lass, each birthday notched
feted at few listed choice venues such as:
The Mudroom (Ardmore, Pennsylvania)
Kehler's gym (Broomall, Pennsylvania)
Belmont Hills Community building
until ye outgrew elementary outings
facilitated courtesy papa and mama.

As years whizzed by at lightspeed
disadvantages despite being linkedin among
village people associated with Jewish creed
stark financial shortcomings did exceed
the means to afford costs of Lower Merion
nsync livingsocial within MainLine
became impossible mission plain as day and
in apropos Prius us indeed
we could not huff Ford
even one tweeting nor twittering buzzfeed.
The most hopeful thing to find in insurgent Mexico is a woman who DOESN'T speak Spanish, especially when all I want for Christmas is my ***** murdered! Folks suffering from hypothyroidism have been entrusted to psychologists to talk things over. Anorexics are lectured on body image. The vast majority of today's diseases & syndromes (lupus, A.I.D.S., S.I.D.S. psoriasis) exhibit clinical & sub-clinical symptoms of ancient afflictions.

— The End —