I hate to feel sorry for myself.
You break my heart everytime I see you.
I know I shouldn't be feeling the way I do
but it's hard when the one you love doesn't love you too.
Sometimes I like to think we would be back to normal
but no matter what I still look at you and feel as nausiated as I do when I see blood.
It's hard to not think about you, when every other thought is you.
I hate groaning about myself,
but I hate groaning about you more.
I've tried to get over it all.
Believe me I have.
But then I think of you... Think of her, the one that ruined us…
how could I ever feel better?
You can say I was right.
Although I know you don't want to admit it.
You'll never read this, and if you do I'm proud.
Not out of spite, not to make you hurt,
nothing like that would make me feel any better about myself.
I would be proud that you took the time to see,
to see what I have to say in the only way I know how.
I would be proud that you would actually think about me once more
and if it was in a bad way, at least it was thought at all.
You never liked confrontation,
that's why you never talk to me anymore.
I always want to ask your forgiveness.
I just wish that you would forgive.
I understand that you hate me now,
and honostly I couldn't care more...
But I'm not feeling bad for myself.
I'm feeling bad for you.
I just wish that you could ever do the same for me,
ever again...
