Can't stop thinking about the things that i miss about you..
Can't understand the idea of us not being together anymore..
Can't tell what if what i miss is real or is it only because i'm a mess..

Then i asked myself million times, what do i really miss?

Is it your Smile?, Is it your Eyes?, Is it your Existence?, Is it your Vibes?, Is it your Kiss?, Is it your Touch?, Is it your Lips?, Is it your Voice?, Is it your Laugh?, Is it your Jokes?, Is it your Humor?, Is it your Anxiety?, Is it your weird Faces?, Is it your gen gen gen?, Is it your Teasing?, Is it your Music?, Is it your Singings?, Is it your Notes?, Is it your Cuddling?, Is your thoughts?, Is your ideas?, is your Thinking?, Is it your Poems?, Is it your Philosophy?, Is it your Calls?, is it your Hiiiii?, Is it your stories?, Is it your caring?, Is it your iced coffee with milk?, Is it Cigarettes?, Is it your Dancing?, Is it your Korean food?, Is it you sitting in my car?, Is it your Anxious?, Is it your Cough?, Is it your Knowledge?, Is it your Photography?, Is it your Outfit?, Is it your Beauty?, Is it your look?, Is it your Dreams?, Is it your talks?, is it your Skin?, iIs it your Meditations?, Is it your tears on my chest?, Is it your face?, Is it your nails?, Is it your selfies with me?, Is it your Smell?, is it your Perfume?, Is it your Breath?, Is it your Drawings?, Is it your Rap?, Is it your salmon?, Is it your Takies?, Is it your Korean music?, Is it your Emojies?, Is it your Voice notes?, is it your Smile?, is it your Hair?, is it you 11:11 moment?, or is it your love?..
​
I know it's too late already, but i just want to let it out of my mind..

Hiiiii....u knw what aaj ky hai....
aaj bhot special prsn ka bday hai...
meli bestieee.... kaaa
paglu ka
bhot special tu duffr mere lyee...
&
chalo kuch meethi meethi yaade yaad dilata hu...
apni....
yaaad hai jab humari fst tym baaat hui thi....wo cmnt k rply me
ladai se hui thi startng
ki pata tha itne impo ** jaynge ek dusre k lye
fr wo humara din bhar choti choti si baat pr ladna
manana
fr draaame dikhana ki tu lunch ni kalega to b ni kalungi....
tu gannna ...tu gannniii
hihihihihi
bhot misss krta hu m bo ladaiyaaa
punishment b inni pyali ki galti krne ka man kre
....
school se aate hi beg rakhne se phle....mobile on krna...
net on hone se phle whatsappp pr msz type krna....
agr ek mint b reply late hua to bawal ,machana...
fr shaq wali nigaaho se dekhnaaa.....
hihihi binna galti k es masssom bacheee se solly bulbana.....
pure pure din baat krke b pet ni bharta tha
deere deere baat krte krte special one bn gyi merelyee....
fr kisi se b baat ni kalta tha m
muujhe aaj b yaad hai wo din
8/4/1999 mela bday gifttt
maine tainu 1st tym dekha tha...
hihihihi...
apni yaari ese hi bni rahe hamesha....
bs yadi pray krni hai... mainu...rab se.....
i love u my....bestieee...... happy bday tooo.....uuuuuuuu...
ab bta babu ky gift chaahiye teko.
.

I have been long gone.
And none of this makes sense.
But, I wont delete them.
:)

Hiiiii

Having a seizure is like falling
losing all sense of direction
Feeling as though your body is battering
Itself in a sense of constant emergency
Feeling as though you're in danger of shattering.

Having a seizure revolutionizes the definition of the word pain
When your brain starts to buzz
And your blood starts to boil
You lose all your faith in the world once loyal

I was in class one day writing a story while i was supposed to be listening
The world that day seemed to be glistening
But then it began
It's like my heart got up and ran
I thought i had it but then it slipped through my fingers like sand

It's hard to explain but i'll give it a try.
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to die
When your body gives way and screams out for help
When it feels like something is Tearing through every inch of your body as if trying like hell to make your insides become out

To have a seizure is to know vulnerability
To make your body a breeding ground for hostility
When you fall to the floor and lose your sense of movement
Your back arching so far St. Louis would make you a monument

The body is savage
Inflicting maximum damage
As electricity coursed through my body and lets me know that i am his

I was walking down the hallway one day and this girl i had just met stop me
She had grabbed my arm
I didn't know she was there so i was bound to give her the stare
The one that says daddy didn't raise no fool
She stuck her face real close to mine and said
Hiiiii
Condescending and quite rude but go with it
I said hi back and we talked about our class we had together
And then i said it


Sorry i have to go i have to get to my college class now
And then the world slowed down as she said to me
Wow I just assumed you were *******

And in what i think is a natural response
I wanted to deck her so hard she wouldn't be able to get back up.
But the devil lost that day and i simply said No and walked away

She wasn't the first of offenders
Sometimes i wish society could be censored
But instead i let them find bliss in their ignorance

The next time you laugh and say
“Dude are you having a seizure ,”
The answer is no because if they were
they’d know what it feels like to fall