Come queen of months in company
Wi all thy merry minstrelsy
The restless cuckoo absent long
And twittering swallows chimney song
And hedge row crickets notes that run
From every bank that fronts the sun
And swathy bees about the grass
That stops wi every bloom they pass
And every minute every hour
Keep teazing weeds that wear a flower
And toil and childhoods humming joys
For there is music in the noise
The village childern mad for sport
In school times leisure ever short
That crick and catch the bouncing ball
And run along the church yard wall
Capt wi rude figured slabs whose claims
In times bad memory hath no names
Oft racing round the nookey church
Or calling ecchos in the porch
And jilting oer the weather ****
Viewing wi jealous eyes the clock
Oft leaping grave stones leaning hights
Uncheckt wi mellancholy sights
The green grass swelld in many a heap
Where kin and friends and parents sleep
Unthinking in their jovial cry
That time shall come when they shall lye
As lowly and as still as they
While other boys above them play
Heedless as they do now to know
The unconcious dust that lies below
The shepherd goes wi happy stride
Wi moms long shadow by his side
Down the dryd lanes neath blooming may
That once was over shoes in clay
While martins twitter neath his eves
Which he at early morning leaves
The driving boy beside his team
Will oer the may month beauty dream
And **** his hat and turn his eye
On flower and tree and deepning skye
And oft bursts loud in fits of song
And whistles as he reels along
Cracking his whip in starts of joy
A happy ***** driving boy
The youth who leaves his corner stool
Betimes for neighbouring village school
While as a mark to urge him right
The church spires all the way in sight
Wi cheerings from his parents given
Starts neath the joyous smiles of heaven
And sawns wi many an idle stand
Wi bookbag swinging in his hand
And gazes as he passes bye
On every thing that meets his eye
Young lambs seem tempting him to play
Dancing and bleating in his way
Wi trembling tails and pointed ears
They follow him and loose their fears
He smiles upon their sunny faces
And feign woud join their happy races
The birds that sing on bush and tree
Seem chirping for his company
And all in fancys idle whim
Seem keeping holiday but him
He lolls upon each resting stile
To see the fields so sweetly smile
To see the wheat grow green and long
And list the weeders toiling song
Or short note of the changing thrush
Above him in the white thorn bush
That oer the leaning stile bends low
Loaded wi mockery of snow
Mozzld wi many a lushing thread
Of crab tree blossoms delicate red
He often bends wi many a wish
Oer the brig rail to view the fish
Go sturting by in sunny gleams
And chucks in the eye dazzld streams
Crumbs from his pocket oft to watch
The swarming struttle come to catch
Them where they to the bottom sile
Sighing in fancys joy the while
Hes cautiond not to stand so nigh
By rosey milkmaid tripping bye
Where he admires wi fond delight
And longs to be there mute till night
He often ventures thro the day
At truant now and then to play
Rambling about the field and plain
Seeking larks nests in the grain
And picking flowers and boughs of may
To hurd awhile and throw away
Lurking neath bushes from the sight
Of tell tale eyes till schools noon night
Listing each hour for church clocks hum
To know the hour to wander home
That parents may not think him long
Nor dream of his rude doing wrong
Dreading thro the night wi dreaming pain
To meet his masters wand again
Each hedge is loaded thick wi green
And where the hedger late hath been
Tender shoots begin to grow
From the mossy stumps below
While sheep and cow that teaze the grain
will nip them to the root again
They lay their bill and mittens bye
And on to other labours hie
While wood men still on spring intrudes
And thins the shadow solitudes
Wi sharpend axes felling down
The oak trees budding into brown
Where as they crash upon the ground
A crowd of labourers gather round
And mix among the shadows dark
To rip the crackling staining bark
From off the tree and lay when done
The rolls in lares to meet the sun
Depriving yearly where they come
The green wood pecker of its home
That early in the spring began
Far from the sight of troubling man
And bord their round holes in each tree
In fancys sweet security
Till startld wi the woodmans noise
It wakes from all its dreaming joys
The blue bells too that thickly bloom
Where man was never feared to come
And smell smocks that from view retires
**** rustling leaves and bowing briars
And stooping lilys of the valley
That comes wi shades and dews to dally
White beady drops on slender threads
Wi broad hood leaves above their heads
Like white robd maids in summer hours
Neath umberellas shunning showers
These neath the barkmens crushing treads
Oft perish in their blooming beds
Thus stript of boughs and bark in white
Their trunks shine in the mellow light
Beneath the green surviving trees
That wave above them in the breeze
And waking whispers slowly bends
As if they mournd their fallen friends
Each morning now the weeders meet
To cut the thistle from the wheat
And ruin in the sunny hours
Full many wild weeds of their flowers
Corn poppys that in crimson dwell
Calld ‘head achs’ from their sickly smell
And carlock yellow as the sun
That oer the may fields thickly run
And ‘iron ****’ content to share
The meanest spot that spring can spare
Een roads where danger hourly comes
Is not wi out its purple blooms
And leaves wi points like thistles round
Thickset that have no strength to wound
That shrink to childhoods eager hold
Like hair—and with its eye of gold
And scarlet starry points of flowers
Pimpernel dreading nights and showers
Oft calld ‘the shepherds weather glass’
That sleep till suns have dyd the grass
Then wakes and spreads its creeping bloom
Till clouds or threatning shadows come
Then close it shuts to sleep again
Which weeders see and talk of rain
And boys that mark them shut so soon
will call them ‘John go bed at noon
And fumitory too a name
That superstition holds to fame
Whose red and purple mottled flowers
Are cropt by maids in weeding hours
To boil in water milk and way1
For washes on an holiday
To make their beauty fair and sleak
And scour the tan from summers cheek
And simple small forget me not
Eyd wi a pinshead yellow spot
I’th’ middle of its tender blue
That gains from poets notice due
These flowers the toil by crowds destroys
And robs them of their lowly joys
That met the may wi hopes as sweet
As those her suns in gardens meet
And oft the dame will feel inclind
As childhoods memory comes to mind
To turn her hook away and spare
The blooms it lovd to gather there
My wild field catalogue of flowers
Grows in my ryhmes as thick as showers
Tedious and long as they may be
To some, they never weary me
The wood and mead and field of grain
I coud hunt oer and oer again
And talk to every blossom wild
Fond as a parent to a child
And cull them in my childish joy
By swarms and swarms and never cloy
When their lank shades oer morning pearls
Shrink from their lengths to little girls
And like the clock hand pointing one
Is turnd and tells the morning gone
They leave their toils for dinners hour
Beneath some hedges bramble bower
And season sweet their savory meals
Wi joke and tale and merry peals
Of ancient tunes from happy tongues
While linnets join their fitful songs
Perchd oer their heads in frolic play
Among the tufts of motling may
The young girls whisper things of love
And from the old dames hearing move
Oft making ‘love knotts’ in the shade
Of blue green oat or wheaten blade
And trying simple charms and spells
That rural superstition tells
They pull the little blossom threads
From out the knapweeds button heads
And put the husk wi many a smile
In their white bosoms for awhile
Who if they guess aright the swain
That loves sweet fancys trys to gain
Tis said that ere its lain an hour
Twill blossom wi a second flower
And from her white ******* hankerchief
Bloom as they ne’er had lost a leaf
When signs appear that token wet
As they are neath the bushes met
The girls are glad wi hopes of play
And harping of the holiday
A hugh blue bird will often swim
Along the wheat when skys grow dim
Wi clouds—slow as the gales of spring
In motion wi dark shadowd wing
Beneath the coming storm it sails
And lonly chirps the wheat hid quails
That came to live wi spring again
And start when summer browns the grain
They start the young girls joys afloat
Wi ‘wet my foot’ its yearly note
So fancy doth the sound explain
And proves it oft a sign of rain
About the moor ‘**** sheep and cow
The boy or old man wanders now
Hunting all day wi hopful pace
Each thick sown rushy thistly place
For plover eggs while oer them flye
The fearful birds wi teazing cry
Trying to lead their steps astray
And coying him another way
And be the weather chill or warm
Wi brown hats truckd beneath his arm
Holding each prize their search has won
They plod bare headed to the sun
Now dames oft bustle from their wheels
Wi childern scampering at their heels
To watch the bees that hang and swive
In clumps about each thronging hive
And flit and thicken in the light
While the old dame enjoys the sight
And raps the while their warming pans
A spell that superstition plans
To coax them in the garden bounds
As if they lovd the tinkling sounds
And oft one hears the dinning noise
Which dames believe each swarm decoys
Around each village day by day
Mingling in the warmth of may
Sweet scented herbs her skill contrives
To rub the bramble platted hives
Fennels thread leaves and crimpld balm
To scent the new house of the swarm
The thresher dull as winter days
And lost to all that spring displays
Still mid his barn dust forcd to stand
Swings his frail round wi weary hand
While oer his head shades thickly creep
And hides the blinking owl asleep
And bats in cobweb corners bred
Sharing till night their murky bed
The sunshine trickles on the floor
Thro every crevice of the door
And makes his barn where shadows dwell
As irksome as a prisoners cell
And as he seeks his daily meal
As schoolboys from their tasks will steal
ile often stands in fond delay
To see the daisy in his way
And wild weeds flowering on the wall
That will his childish sports recall
Of all the joys that came wi spring
The twirling top the marble ring
The gingling halfpence hussld up
At pitch and toss the eager stoop
To pick up heads, the smuggeld plays
Neath hovels upon sabbath days
When parson he is safe from view
And clerk sings amen in his pew
The sitting down when school was oer
Upon the threshold by his door
Picking from mallows sport to please
Each crumpld seed he calld a cheese
And hunting from the stackyard sod
The stinking hen banes belted pod
By youths vain fancys sweetly fed
Christning them his loaves of bread
He sees while rocking down the street
Wi weary hands and crimpling feet
Young childern at the self same games
And hears the self same simple names
Still floating on each happy tongue
Touchd wi the simple scene so strong
Tears almost start and many a sigh
Regrets the happiness gone bye
And in sweet natures holiday
His heart is sad while all is gay
How lovly now are lanes and balks
For toils and lovers sunday walks
The daisey and the buttercup
For which the laughing childern stoop
A hundred times throughout the day
In their rude ramping summer play
So thickly now the pasture crowds
In gold and silver sheeted clouds
As if the drops in april showers
Had woo’d the sun and swoond to flowers
The brook resumes its summer dresses
Purling neath grass and water cresses
And mint and flag leaf swording high
Their blooms to the unheeding eye
And taper bowbent hanging rushes
And horse tail childerns bottle brushes
And summer tracks about its brink
Is fresh again where cattle drink
And on its sunny bank the swain
Stretches his idle length again
Soon as the sun forgets the day
The moon looks down on the lovly may
And the little star his friend and guide
Travelling together side by side
And the seven stars and charleses wain
Hangs smiling oer green woods agen
The heaven rekindles all alive
Wi light the may bees round the hive
Swarm not so thick in mornings eye
As stars do in the evening skye
All all are nestling in their joys
The flowers and birds and pasture boys
The firetail, long a stranger, comes
To his last summer haunts and homes
To hollow tree and crevisd wall
And in the grass the rails odd call
That featherd spirit stops the swain
To listen to his note again
And school boy still in vain retraces
The secrets of his hiding places
In the black thorns crowded copse
Thro its varied turns and stops
The nightingale its ditty weaves
Hid in a multitude of leaves
The boy stops short to hear the strain
And ’sweet jug jug’ he mocks again
The yellow hammer builds its nest
By banks where sun beams earliest rest
That drys the dews from off the grass
Shading it from all that pass
Save the rude boy wi ferret gaze
That hunts thro evry secret maze
He finds its pencild eggs agen
All streakd wi lines as if a pen
By natures freakish hand was took
To scrawl them over like a book
And from these many mozzling marks
The school boy names them ‘writing larks’
*** barrels twit on bush and tree
Scarse bigger then a bumble bee
And in a white thorns leafy rest
It builds its curious pudding-nest
Wi hole beside as if a mouse
Had built the little barrel house
Toiling full many a lining feather
And bits of grey tree moss together
Amid the noisey rooky park
Beneath the firdales branches dark
The little golden crested wren
Hangs up his glowing nest agen
And sticks it to the furry leaves
As martins theirs beneath the eaves
The old hens leave the roost betimes
And oer the garden pailing climbs
To scrat the gardens fresh turnd soil
And if unwatchd his crops to spoil
Oft cackling from the prison yard
To peck about the houseclose sward
Catching at butterflys and things
Ere they have time to try their wings
The cattle feels the breath of may
And kick and toss their heads in play
The *** beneath his bags of sand
Oft jerks the string from leaders hand
And on the road will eager stoop
To pick the sprouting thistle up
Oft answering on his weary way
Some distant neighbours sobbing bray
Dining the ears of driving boy
As if he felt a fit of joy
Wi in its pinfold circle left
Of all its company bereft
Starvd stock no longer noising round
Lone in the nooks of foddering ground
Each skeleton of lingering stack
By winters tempests beaten black
Nodds upon props or bolt upright
Stands swarthy in the summer light
And oer the green grass seems to lower
Like stump of old time wasted tower
All that in winter lookd for hay
Spread from their batterd haunts away
To pick the grass or lye at lare
Beneath the mild hedge shadows there
Sweet month that gives a welcome call
To toil and nature and to all
Yet one day mid thy many joys
Is dead to all its sport and noise
Old may day where’s thy glorys gone
All fled and left thee every one
Thou comst to thy old haunts and homes
Unnoticd as a stranger comes
No flowers are pluckt to hail the now
Nor cotter seeks a single bough
The maids no more on thy sweet morn
Awake their thresholds to adorn
Wi dewey flowers—May locks new come
And princifeathers cluttering bloom
And blue bells from the woodland moss
And cowslip cucking ***** to toss
Above the garlands swinging hight
Hang in the soft eves sober light
These maid and child did yearly pull
By many a folded apron full
But all is past the merry song
Of maidens hurrying along
To crown at eve the earliest cow
Is gone and dead and silent now
The laugh raisd at the mocking thorn
Tyd to the cows tail last that morn
The kerchief at arms length displayd
Held up by pairs of swain and maid
While others bolted underneath
Bawling loud wi panting breath
‘Duck under water’ as they ran
Alls ended as they ne’er began
While the new thing that took thy place
Wears faded smiles upon its face
And where enclosure has its birth
It spreads a mildew oer her mirth
The herd no longer one by one
Goes plodding on her morning way
And garlands lost and sports nigh gone
Leaves her like thee a common day
Yet summer smiles upon thee still
Wi natures sweet unalterd will
And at thy births unworshipd hours
Fills her green lap wi swarms of flowers
To crown thee still as thou hast been
Of spring and summer months the queen

(One) (Ican'thelpitifyoumightthinkiamodd ifItellyouI'mlovingyounotforwhatyouare butwhatyou'renot)
O
Melissa with eyes silvery like water when it starts to steam
Mellisa with your chealseacut that locks sunlight with its evry strand
Mellissa with your mausoleum ***** that cages birds that spin young confusion round our ears

Avuncular heathen teacher cardholder
With your gnostic stepchildren that bare you in their undeveloped wombs
And the scattered mouths that trace psalms from your footprints
   in the the snow before they're stolen by ice

And your dreams you stir and share in restless sleeps wanting only to live another day

Mellisa who prims lectricity to stone
Mellisa who cries for noone less you know theyd return
Mellisa with your lips of dried budded rose
And your Gishian whispers that weave flame outlined by a gold only cateyes can display
Mellisa with your cashmere skin that warms and rewards every touch granted
And your lost lovers left behind
And your hands like gloves over arthritic fingers frozen from the freezing outside
And your nicotine stains that overlap into a bruise  thick enough to peel
and mark your worshipless shrine
And your drunken boats that sail upwards from the waves that chain them down and rip upto the endless starry skies

With your pierced tongue you scrape your teeth with as you tic and sing

You know Id ****** kingsmen just to stay on the run with you a while longer

Melissa with your cheap scarves and blurry trench that too stays motionless as you walk

Melissa with your bleeding gums that could kiss the dead awake
Melissa with your seedless grief and puffy cheeks that hover distant from the rest of your face
And your catfish bellybutton that I cant help but crush

Melissa with your empty questions that ring answers as you wish to hear them
Melissa with your guns in evry pocket and boots sheathed and stained
And your methodist lungs which bleed ash as your clear your throat
And your cloak that wears all the skinny traumas inferno held in its windows

How could I ever have misplaced you?

Whence seasons lingered til you wore the elements from their shells
And drew armature cerise from the clouds into the stitching that holds together our palms
And your bloodmoon mason jar that you swivel like wine
And your veins that guide submission into something maniclike

O
Mellisa you prove evry love before you was a lie

Mellisa with your reliance on those you take care of
And your batwing leather jeans and dogpaw fingernails
that twiddle your permed fringe
And your sallow skin slowly flaking and shedding
And your blistered heart that beats my ears like drums
And your careless screams in public vicinities that begged to have us both locked up
I would travel the world just to collapse by your legs

O
With your wooden bedbug leg lashes that clasp as they wither dust

With your monotonous lilt you speak with and laugh with

With your vitiligod birthmarks that tattoo your flesh

And your jawline that twitches as your eyes have no choice but to seal

And your ribcage that falls loose against your sheets

I would break evry bone over again and again and gather evry malady just for your cool palm over my forehead

O Melissa you never have to doubt whether Ill love another

O Melissa with your back turnt to the mirror, I'd hold you forever and a day

If you'd still like me to this time tomorrow.

(Two) (Farewell, be safe evermore.)
I woke up with my head and teeth shaking, felt like I was gonna die
'til I smoked a cigarette to start my day

Phlegm built up like charcoal bricks, hits my chest
Bittersweet like the smell of the night-before's lover on bedsheets with their side now empty.

No heating and thus my coldsore is frostbit, and the other hex's they gifted me rest 'neath tired skin
With revenge long out of reach--
Further than the distance of a hundred dreams  in fact

I'm surprised I woke up at all.

I tend to repress my dreams when I can, I'm a broken chamber rattling death so loud I'm echoed and either ignored
    Or laughed at--

o lord haven't I had enough?
o lord I can't make miracles out of tragedy, o lord I cant keep up with the pain that preludes my every step, o lord without hope, however misguided, I'd go insane and never come back  nor want to o lord take me in my sleep

O there are some secrets lord I know only you and I can keep.
Bless the griefs locked and left only to memory.

Little babe lost you're so beautiful and ugly don't ever **** yourself.
even when other's turn you away so scared for it to ever happen they'd rather not talk to you at all  
Dont you ever **** yourself. live a little as we dont have much life to live and besides, I think you're doing fine

   and I can't wait to see you doing much better,
When you get the time to get better I'll be there to help you up
And dust off your shoulders any residue from the fall...
I mean you can **** yourself if you wish  babe
But you're going to have to **** me first to get the chance

You can use me if you want to, I'm quite used to it just as I'm used to breathing in the same air as the dead
The used  and users typically have the same goal, after all
It's such a headfuck to know the one you loved never believed in you in the end
I know, I know
o but lord knows I still do and I will for as long as you're breathing
And though the clock is merciless you do not need to mirror it in a response of anger,
No' any longer than you choose to let whatever's done and gone still linger
Some will help some will crisscross
I bare nothing no more now but the best for you.
And my little babe don't you ever take your own life,
life's a gamble and some tries will come up short but I can't bare to lose you anymore than I can lose the will to breathe; please just let me listen or atleast rest by your side and no' say a word.

bildings in roowins
I rite with brokin-hand


it is the year of the unlord-tyms 2085
and skool hadbin abolishd since fyv decades
evrything in disrepair -
                    no hospitills no parks
                    no creche no greens
all grey and dark

now here I lie amid the rubble
I see they took my legs for under-market
what else did they take?
**** *******!
belly rumbles
the last I'd eaten was 2 days on
a chunk of hard-bread whose colour would turn envy in its boots
with artifishal-milk whose curdled smile greeted the back of my arid existence

**** bastarrrrrrds! they put me under, sawed off my legs
left me hobbling with jagged wounds and smirk-pain like hot-rods searing my brand-new stubs
elementary-bandage of an old sheet torn into strips...

wait, I must use this anger as fuel to get me going
she told me so
many, many times..




(I can remember my mother reading to me
reciting from her memory
they had burnt evry-single-book Man had ever known
                My eyes have never been graced with a book
but
she tort me words with stick in sand
and counting with stones
and there were many stones
               she fed me poetry when there was little else to eat
with fainting-body and starving-belly
my mind took pleasure in her ultimate-care
               she told me of a time when childrin took poor-interest
in the blessings of a book.. wen their minds were swallowed wholemeal by what they called media, I think
when they were not saddled with the worry of their next meal's magical-appearance
                (I can spell 'their' at least, yes.. she made sure I knew the difference)
the only pictures I saw were the ones she drew for me
in the volcanic beach-sand when we ran away from the parasitic-city
                I knew nothing of the world but what I saw around me
                        - decay, decay, decay
until she brought me colour - rite into the hart of me -
                           blooms that hurt at first, so bright and giving
                           that it saturated every molecule in my parched-centre
                           and I became a rainbow-suffused capsule in a otherwise drab-society
such wonder she spoke with open-eyes and loving-tones

and I also remember.. the day they took her..
I remember.. too much)



I crawl forward like a snake in the .. wait, what was that expreshin again?
I'll think later when I find a place to harbour my broken-body
                     thought is a luxury here
thers a horrible smoke in the air
          stings me so
and I miss her so
I have nobody left
but I cannot feel forsaken, as so many do
and succumb to self-pity
she made sure my armour grew
                 from the inside.. first
yet.all.the.while.she.watered.my.hungry.mind
and I took it with disbelief painted on my face
the things she told me about..




                I cannot believe there once were -
green fields and trees with chirping birds
a blue sky
blue? not possible
I've never seen a blue sky
I think she was being kind to paint me portraits of psychedelia
   to entertain and distract me
   from the horror of our lives
I heard tales of things called flowers - daisies and things
like vegetables and fruit
it seemed funny to me - little beings in the ground,
                                       growing
                                       standing rooted, awaiting harvest-hands
               just for people??
uncredibill
waaaat???
no..  such depth of kindness I can hardly imagine
for we have had only *hard-earth.. most concreted
and drank only brack-water from collapsing pipes
no, an unforgiving-scene is all I know
yet
     she is so kind to feed me such fantasy-tales of deep-imaginashin
     pity she could not tell any others
     for any tenth-of-a-whisper of this to any wrong-ear
and her head would roll
in the gutter.. where we lived in contest with rats
she could only rally my mind and relay things which would die with her
things that she bequeaths
to me

what will I do with it? this legacy of forgotten-paradise..
what can I do?   this wonder-clad heresy..
                I now know thers a way out these city walls
                ther is a life beyond
with valleys and rivers and salty-seas
I must try to find a river
she told of oceans which live - which heave and swell and move!
she said these things too .. they exist
what quaint-things, indeed
oh, for dreems..

but now, I must off the streets
for a double-darkness has begun to fall
when red-eyes will scour the streets for scraps of flesh
        anything is worth a barter
        even a dead-man in a lane whose eyeballs are gone
        harshly-hacked out living - by a previous-visitor
becomes a piece of currency for seekers of the dark

I don't know what they've done to her.. or where she is now..
yet, she always said - keep moving
                                   keep searching
for blue-sky and flowing-rivers and yellow-flowers..
(I wonder if it's real
I do believ her - I must)*




now I scrape on in haste into a darkening-alley
towards a derelict-bilding
whose sinister-interior is the only welcome it can afford me
             I have little choice
             no time for sentiment
plus, I feel a fever coming (perhaps this is all the dreem.. and she is the only-flower I know)
the night-Rats will come out soon
and I hate their stink
it doesn't help I leave a trail of blood..




now
only hoap lives
on
in hobbled-soul

as I rite on with brokin-hand
onto the back-pages.. of my mind




S T -  5 octoblah

If I skip a heartbeat .. I would end up dead
You're tht one heartbeat I neva wanna skip.

I keep waiting for you , thinking about you
When the sun has painted the sky in pale tint of orange
Though I'm stuck in dis time lapse... I cud skip a heartbeat for you ...

Destiny conspired against us .. to separate us forever
Miles and miles I have walked ...searching for you
Evry thudder of my heart echoes wid your memories ...Coz I cud skip a heartbeat for you ....

I loved you to the point of zenith nd the pain as well tht you gave me
I hope to tranquil this pain of mine ..hence I cud skip a heartbeat for you ...

I'll always be waiting for you , coz hope is the only rule tht the human race has thrived on
Our destinies will collide again , once again the universe would conspire for you to be mine ...
and that day again ...I promise I'll skip a heartbeat for you ....

Evry woman is the 🌙

Evry 👨 is the Sun

Who is the Eternal One


Arent 🇺🇸 All


And if We are Eternal

Why is it that we Fall



So Listen Closely
And,
Hear Me Still

We Are One
No need to Fear
Let Us Become One

Thru the many seasons

Thru the many years

             I 💘 U

Let Me Be A Child
by Mirriam Mk Salati

The age of innocent looted violently
The narrated tale of the order met harshly
Let me feel secure in my home
Let me realise that love is always the norm
I cant remember the sunshine on my face
I work all day in a cramped space
I cant remember how it feels to play free
I cant recall how it feels to climb a tree
Sharttered-self-worth from blows and knocks
A"good" child keeps quite never talks
Let me know when I make you proud.
Help me to have pride in my own accomplishments
And let me earn your trust
Trust me and i wont let you down
Let me try my wings,sour through the sky,
touching evry cloud
If i fail let me know its ok then encourage me to try again.... and whats More' Let me be a Child'

Life on the city streets wasn't easy
I lived off top ramen along with the spray cheesey
Panhandlin' all day long just to get on by
It was enough to make a grown pigeon cry

That's right I'm a pigeon, I'm a bird of flight
But I'm a **** *** bird, win evry fight
Don't you talk back or I'll skin you, fly you like a kite
hide up yo kids cause I be coming for em tonight

Bye the way I'm batman.
A dark ******* knight!

So stay inside cause I be breakin in
An innocent pigeon, you'll never see me comin
Stealing all yo stuff an scoopin up yo kids
I'll auction em off, take the highest bid

So don't call me a ****, cause I put a roof over their head
I pay them to work, by that I mean givin head
Later that night we'll all go to bed
Life be good when they **** my **** red

That's right I'm Chester the pigeon
You won't catch me in the kitchen
This poem be over so quit yo *******

the pope asked me what i really belived in, behind the lies and masks and the effect of saten.
you know what i told him?
wanna know what i said on that dry summer evenin?
i said that my holy book is read by the perfact way your hair looks messy when you just get out of bed,
when you call me late at night because our songs stuck inside your head.
i worship the way you always say that i know just what you think,
ill pray to the way your voice goes low as hell when you talk about true love.
the way your eyes make stars appear in all that dreary darkness of...all the rhods we take and lines we cross just to hold echother near. and at the end of this congregation i promise ill see you soon my dear.
you give new colors to every flower. evey lemon, every tree. and the colors sparkle only when i hold you close to me,
on the red platos of navajo, honey bees makeing a song so much better than the radio, your voice the lead singer and my spirit feels the flow.
so yeah i know its a little bit melo-dramadic, a bit manic, co dependent on the way you look at me, whatever you see thats just what i wanna be. babe.
and so my soul is saved with every touch from you.
preach in the pew about all the times we had at midnight solitary dances running from our taxes living life and death theres nothin left
but all that holy love we share.

so i told the prest the, minister the bishop and the father and the son and evry single holy ghost who was there, that im in love with this girl and i dont give a ****, what you think force me to drink that holy water to set me on that straigh and narrow bath, and i would laugh at all the **** that they belive will work on somone such as me.
and THATS how i got excommunicated
thankyou

I was a child then , but now am a teen , um in the stage where my life is strange , hopping to get better but getting bitter , um not a child, not yet an adult but in the middle of them all, in the middle of the ocean where i have to fine my way out, where i have to make choices that my life will depend on them "wrong or right"choices      um a teenager and um a thinker , i think of all the bad and wrong things that evry sec of it will change my life as a whole , i thnk about my life now, but what about it in future? I think about myself but what about others? I think about the new days but what about the newer ones?                                 Im a teenager and my days of being a child are long gone and soon my days of being a teen wiil be gone too , the day will come for me to face the real world  , my days will come when my choices will lead me..            Im a teenager , um in a crazy stage where nature drives me crazy my life as a teen may seen good..but its not , being a teens is like living in a horror movie , lts like the world has shown me its worsts site its like the world has turn its back on me.             I am a teenager and i have a future ahead of me and i have to make my country a better place tommorrow coz my decision now can build my future and shape the person i am tommorrw and make me the person i wanna be    "thats my teenage life"

carried out by the whistling
tune my whisteling tune which no
instrument can immitate
my whistling tune which plays
on the heavens above my whilstling
tune which is magnificent, innocent
and creative

i cherich my whistle tune it gives me
my own identity my own signature
my own creativity my whistling tune
is the best for i whistle evry rise of the burning star to the the rottating of the coin
my whistle tune goes like this

dun-dun-da-da-da-dan
do-do-do-do
dun-dun-da-da-da-dan
do-do-do-do
doo-doo-doo-doo-do-do
di-di-di-do
do-do-do-do-do

its touches my sences presess my
my hunger for success pushes me where
their is no limit for i love my whistle tune

I crave peace
security....
and i get annoyed....
i feel not understood
...my mind is so ******* overwhelmed
...but projects not ****
its so mother *******
afraid of who knows ******* what
...i sit here like a ******* doll
with my Mom yelling in my ear
as insecurity
those annoying *** voices...
continue to say your nothing
your nothing because your not good enough
...for this person
he wont think your hot
your not good enough
....i think you should be more like this ****** up person
...all it does is degrade me
...tell me im nothing
.....tell me im something according to society
...then ******* deceit me
its like what am i...
who am i
what have i become
....what do i truly value
...who the **** am i
...im a wreck
a ******* train crash
dead...
and its like
i crave identity and security so much
im willing to find it in a matter of seconds
...its like i have no sense of patience in that field
its like ive been sad
...crying internally
totally hiding it
....insecure with myself
angry
...but in denial
completely in denial
about my entire existence
its like i dont want to admit to the person that i am
...my mind craves more
it doesnt crave real
its a ******* ***** i tell a ******* bith
a real pai in the ***
im tired of giving a **** about what others think about me
im tired of giving a **** about anything
im tired of being so annoyed and in denial about myself
its like i want to ******* scream
its like im trapped
trapped
and i feel obligated to stay trapped
..because im me
and because society and ppl
and like im not one to like to make others feel bad
....but like im so tired
its a ******* pain
making each and every day a task
...to mask the real me
and try and build this facade
impress evry ******* person i meet
...like its such a ******* task
every ******* day
for the past years
..its fustrating
i look at miley and demi and avril
then i look at me....
and i know that security and complete you...is possible
but its like...
who wants to sit sad
be ******* sad for a day, for weeks, for months
even years
like...
not me
im so tired and sick
and im done tryig to be what everyone else wants
....im done scrolling down my feed
and only seeing wrong
seeing wrong in me
and opportunities to change me
im tired of the negativity
and i refuse to live a day i jealousy, or in envy of some white, blonde *****
...i refuse
i refuse
...but also i fear
meaning i have no faith
my faith is in my mind
its coming out through my mouth
but its not their
its non existant
it wants to be their so ******* badly
but its not
its like i want to command my heart to believe
...but thats not possible
i cant command myself to die can i....
i mean.....

You know, this journal does not even contain half of what we know.  I hope we never forget.  


(sonnet #MMMMMMDCLV)


Now, while cicadas drone 'neath blue skies' pale
Glance, or to deeper shades of that, what hence?
Remember Starbucks' "Friends Day" for intents,
The prompt last night, as yesterday's detail:
We rode the bike path 'gain whose wildflowrs hail
As wont in clover's pink, and yellows thence
With brown eyes, thistles' purple, grasses dense
On either side, while goldfinch laughed t'avail.
I'd hated these auld trails we knew, as poor
Since Mum's death, but now I belong to you,
Oh! all's sae sweet like ne'er before as twere.
My car'mel fru-fru drink was tasty too:
Cuz I am yours.  That means I can't write fer
All that cuz evry minute's yours who woo.

08Aug17

They know him as the alpha
Breaking these lovely ladies
Something real proper
Not a fighter but a lover no other
Can do it quite right right?
I used to study his style
And how he used to make the ladies smile
Slowly mentally connects with her
Stay calm under pressure
Minutes later he got the number
And already invited to a slumber
Another score for the board
Got the ladies singing high vocal chords
He taught me this and what to do
Andtoldme evry woman ya just can't *****
I asked why he said dont worry
When you get older you'll understand the story
Its more like a parable
But these woman just ain't compatible
So I know my lucks running out
Spit game in a victims ear
No fear I seen a tear
Roll down her thighs right then
I knew she was mesmerize
Playing in hair give me them *** faces
And I'll I'm thinking is I can't wait to get to the place and lace
Her with nothing but better love
I'm all above
As I felt good with confidence
I reminisce
The old man told me I'm learning
Replica of him the New gangsta of love

here's a neat trick:

evry time you have to say my name

replace it with RADIOHEAD

"RADIOHEAD has been staring at rooftops again. i'm worried."

"RADIOHEAD just walked into my kitchen and took all my matches!"

"i'd like my hexing stone back now, RADIOHEAD."

"RADIOHEAD, have you been drinking?"

anyway

you should try it

i'm not quite sure what will happen

but it's gonna rain no matter what you do

AND if you go -- love goes away?  No, it's understood.
My love stays as freedom is a breakfast food
as if love can live with right or wrong (undestood)
or rolly-pollies are from frightful mountains made---
long enough just for you and me.

As though pain can pay the rent
regardless of genius please the talentgang comes
to collect the fallen minds and hearts upon
the sidewalks of understanding.  Everywhere.

So as it is;  my whole life:  as my coalwood eyes
burn wint-air oh waiting (my love) for spring ?(y)(w)ou(w)
un-air-stan?me
crazy
me like

evry-ting
we can do it for just Me and You.  So bring it (with love)
for a landing -- without misunderstanding -- as there is no
end what we can do together without end.

see shebert lips of babies and their beating exploding Love-hearts
: with a little luck we can help it out.

:: 10.24.2021 ::

If i ruled the world id have hockey games settle evry dispute now that may not seem cute but if all that passion by politicians is displayed on the ice then we might not be in needless disputes
If you're rude to me if i was emperor you see id not be cruel and force you to eat nothing but bread and gruel id simply have you put out of your misery because you're clearly a loon
Now you may not like every whim and policy but i promise id try to come off as endearing I'll kiss babies and give to charity and explain my thoughts with the utmost clarity and maybe go on Larry King

But all punchlines aside if i ruled the world and everything in it id make it so we treated addicts like humans not vermin and remain sane to help the insane and truamatized because so many people suffer behind their eyes and
I'd decide to abolish money so greed wouldn't decide the fates of those out here in these streets
Id make it so we gave back to the earth so much that weve taken from it and actually do things that benefit the environment not **** wildlife

I luv the way ur hair flows as u walk past me
I try not to luk as tho i cannot c
Wen u smile an angel gets its wings
Wen i c ur smile i can hear the angel as it sings
Ur eyes r lik 2 pools of undiscovered spaces
I cud get lost in them meet new ppl go to new places
Ur curves r lik the waves of an ocean
I cud notice them even if u arent in motion
Ur thighs r handles easy to grip
As we hug and meet lip to lip
I cant trust myself wen im with u
I wud hav sumthn ether gud bad or inapropriat to 
do
It wud make u happy sad mad or *****
U wud want to hug me kiss me slap me or *** me
It depends on a question i wud ask u in evry way
Ur reaction revolves around how gud was ur day

once i took a job in a nearby town

and hid it in my basemnt

and now evry time the phone rings

i wondr

I've made it 4 hours without my iPod
And I'm proud of myself
I haven't spilled blood yet
But you're pushing it darling
Without Metallica to calm me down
Your words take on a new sound
I have no Marylyn Manson right now
So you might want to ******* or bow
I might just break something
On you maybe, or myself
I'm not a violent person see?
So my angers turned inward on me
And the blade becomes my friend again
This dreadful off and on relationship
Drawing me in and spitting me out
And I honestly hate everything about
Everything that the blade touches
Evry thing it represents
But I just can't help it
It's already under my skin
Already a part of me
As I make a new line,
I tell myself just this last time
But we both know,
This blade and me,
We both know
I can't help myself

5 more hours till I can go home
And count the hours till I can go to bed
Wasting my time on meaningless tasks
To get through with yet another day
And repeat it all tomorrow
Just another weekday that I'm counting away
To get to that all too short break
Two days of healing evry other weekend
To keep me from breaking completely
Building up a thin wall in my mind
To try and keep them all out
And myself all in

im tired of the same thing going over and over. i dont know how to say any thing nice. i just have embrace whats happening to me. i have to see my own misery over and over like a movie that skipps with evry scrach there can be.  i dont know how much longer i can stand this **** you all put on me. you know me to well i have a good heart but i never raised my voice before. maybe its time for me to show all of you my true power in me! so sit the **** down and listen to me. i start to scream all the ******* colors of the rainbow do you see society has broken me and i have put  up with all of its games. so let me tell a stori for a change. all the things put on no is coming out like a tiger or a lion roaring with all its might!!! so every one just shut up and listen to me cause i have every ******* word i had to say but its now my turn to come out of my quiet self and say things for once. i have been quiet for to long so hears what i have to say i want chang to happen  i dont want things to look like a auttomated systems of robotics. i want to run free and not be held captive. i want to speak my mind i want to run up and down a beach just screaming my ****** lungs out that can be. i want to be heard down the streets around 2 am. i want to make a mountian start and avalanch that trapes every little village under 1000 of feet down!
i want to raise hell and bring laughter and fire to my place. i dont want to be silenced for my great crazy mind. i wont let you trap me cause i am a ******* wild animal who will claw your ******* eyes out. so i am breaking away to make the changes for every one to have fun and do insainly messed up crazy dangious things.
i want to start riots to test new ideas. i dont want to be enslaved to a desk and chair in a office building. i want to be the brush that paints the night sky with pretty colors of imanage. you will never catch me cause i cant be silenced from you traping people like animals in rusty cages. ill run free one step a head of all you.

i just want to scream cause im not done fighting for whats right

you cant imprison me you cant silence my voice cause when you drop your guard ill escape and rip all of you apart.

so just listen to me heres my voice screaming my thoughts.
i wont put up with any more crap!!!!!!!!!

Ah, sigh



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXXXI)


Strain 'cross the distance to see (like t'avail)
Those crimson buds the oak puts forth fr'intents
Lo, evry Spring, their poignant note is't? thence
Sae dull in this oercast light that I fail
To ascertain but echoes of't in pale
Excuse, the Blue Jay chiding whom for sense
As we would breakfast late? me glad from hence
"He" is not here, but I'm what? in betrayl?
That "fly" caught in the web deceit wove fer
My capture, struggling, though I lisp off too,
The Scriptures evry hour.  To be is poor.
I miss the dove.  It's been days now.  I'm blue
So laugh oft to feign I don't give as twere
Aught hoot, though I'm ashamed.  And what is new?

30Mar19c

human behaviour besicaly we cought to know evry thing but there are some point which is indivisiualy hide from us, here i am to inform that points ,,,,,
1- if we want to get sucess over the world then we have to be a perfect on to setup becouse sucess is to be need honest nd pation to a man,
2-it is said that when our heart beaten then is only behalf of some one is liking prson is front of us,but there are one reason behind that small truth that our heart is work with our eyes when we look some one which one we love or like our blood cerculation has been run fast nd heart working fast thats why is happing ,on the other hand it is also a truth that we look some one we dont lyk or love our heart would be beaten more fast at the same time,.. its rediculas but fact,,,
3-if u want share ur happieness than u have to be sprate the happieness ,nd if u want to be happy than before u made sure to make a smile to some one which need happiness,,
4-its said that ur pain could understand by who tolrated it,but i said own pain said to which person who had never tolrate it becouse ur shared ur pain experinced nd other one shred thier happieness experience,both things are xchenge becouse u got to know the real happiness nd fornt of ur got to know the real pain ,,share ur feeling with contrast feeling person ,do it trust me its amazing xperience..
5-our mind always observerd which things those our wanting to observerd nd the thing is the another unwanted observattion has been dissiperasd from the unconsious mind ,becouse mind and both are work with opposite direction,heart goes only which things that we love by us nd mind always goes with perfect which observed perfection ,,
6-there are the points of success,one is, god is always with me and second is, i am the best nd the last third is ,dont give up wather whatevr is situation is front of us, feel confident nd be  honest,,
7-it happen that,when we do love someone or hate to someone than it  possible to the same feeling for u becouse if we love someone than it is nessacery he/she loves u as well
8- Never give-up if someone humilating u becouse every person has been strong that kind of humilating,its gives us some energetic power to fought with sucesses of life.
9-sucesses has been comes to us as slinking and spread lots of happiness :) :) so we has to be patince and do hard work..
10-it is said that a man can do everything and that is 100% truth but for that we know the depth knowlege for the man"s capacity ...a man can do which things that he realy want to do not get only fun way.....but if man decide to get victory he must be dedicate his fully enargy his passion.....
so guyz thats the life 's fact which is unkown for us,,,,,,
Kritika dubey.....

I war with you daily

I war with you when I go to eat because of what that might do to me.

I war with you when I get ready in the mornings , you control how much of myself I want to hide behind a china doll facade , a face etched in make up

I war with you evry time I look in a mirror and you make me take multiple spare items of clothing "just in case"

I war with you every time I have to be somewhere at a certain time. you have me setting clocks forward, So I'll never be late.

I war with you every time I enter a space full of people , you make my heart pound and race. you make me sit there with headphones blasting to avoid  any form of social interaction

I war with you every time I meet new people and make me socially inept and incapable of communicating. you make me nod and squeak my opinions. You make me quiet and agree

I war with you every time something goes wrong and you send me into a deep panic followed by a melancholy pit.

You scare me because you shut me out and now I don't have any one left to run to, you are my own fault, caus I let you win by caring about each battle I have with you

I war with you and you will forever win

Ignorance is bliss
yet for you ignorance is a dish
you eat it for evry meal
walking tall thinkn your real
calm down honey
I'm not in it for the money
I want you time and your energy
your ******* me up mentally
I stick around for the affections
its obvious you don't feel the connection
why sleep alone if I can sleep with you?
trick myself for another night that what I feel is true
as soon as I'm gone
I'm gone
but when will I leave?
I guess ill wait and see...

A perfect little ryhm you see
to inshure domestic tranquility
but it seems to me
evry thing i see is a little off you see
babys crying , people lieing , children screaming
but yet what els do i see
certintly  not trainquility
bombs flying hear and their
bodys liying every where
fear in every bodys ear
no one can clearly hear
but dose that mean its vanished
no it cant be banished
it is still thier , but are we
think about it and if you finde out could you lend a ear
so everyone can hear.

No.  



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCLI)


Lo, having said (within my heart, t'avail)
I would not write of "him," twas in defense
Accomplished, 'spite ole Humpday's waltzing sense
"He" gave me just cause to ink lines; in frail
Excuse I altered that, in sheer betrayl
To find:  that I could not.  What is it hence?
Twas all a dream.  Vain hopes were not pretense
But lo, an outright lie methinks, sans bail.
If I was sick of dreams, or thought to stir
Me with far better than the twinkling crew
Of fantasies, alas, I'm prey as twere
On evry side, whilst all goes on anew
Without a backward glance.  Tis oh, sae poor
Is't? to be just myself, and that I...rue?

04Apr19d

Speaking about love ........  who knows what this word really mean ?
Me ? i don't !!!!
You ? i don't think so !!!!!!!
Nobody know,
Sharing all the feelings ..... happyness , sadness , illness, enjoying evry little second in this life .....being with the most  beautiful soul
Ah ...... it's a dream .
For me it's like being in heaven !
You know ....... i still don't know the complet définition about love !

...I'll tell you in a later stanza.



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXXI)


Swear that I don't know what to scribble, frail
As aught excuse--as traffic chases thence
Dear whither in the dull lacklustre sense
The region clouds (which Shakespeare to avail
Knew best to frame) drive forward, white so pale
We put our music on or yes! fr'intents
O me! the news, this time of breathing hence
Mair stale than praps the ancients knew to scale.
I've read not license plates for sense in tour,
But like the girl I am--just which or who
Made each car, truck, etcetra, like's not poor,
And relish evry bird's voice like tis to
Effect a ransom for my soul.  Geese fer
Good measure honk in passing, and what's new?

28Mar19a

Spring's courting whom?



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCLXIX)


We've been in rain's soft clutches to avail
Sae minny hours now, wet with kisses dense
Wi' import as ole Winter's grasp slides thence
Nigh off by sure degrees, this game of pale
Uncertain minutes which yield to the frail
Note of lo, golden shafts, until pretense
Is like a wrestling match that drives good sense
Up evry wall, on Fred Astaire's grand scale.
Yes, dance on which hotel's um ceiling fer
Dramatic flair and giddy joy is't?  Do
It up in style as droplets likewise tour
Mad puddles, to slip off as sunshine'd woo.
If we feel breathless from this waltz as twere,
Sink down in warmth's embrace, and smile anew.

14Mar19a

wicked questions are left behind at the end of the road
however, evry stop was easy passed

and solitude was a desolate spot at the end of the day
but our dreams have captured us

always comes empty,living is at the end of the love
whereas hearts runs to the abyss

You are like the rain of the morning sky
I wish to bath till the end of my life
You are like a beautiful novel
And all its pages fill with love
You are like the smile of a born baby
You are like a flying butterfly
You are like the first ray of the rising sun
You are like a tongue who never lie
You are like the fragnent of a heart, comic of a child
You are the lyrics I listen in the midnight

When I go to sleep at night
I hold the pillow as possible as tight
As when I struggle with my dreams
I could feel You by my side
As the whole night I embrace the pillow close to my heart
When I wake up in the morning
I kisses it first

If tomorrow I go to cemetry
And see You never again
Left a pillow over my chest
As I could feel You even after I dead

Dont let the wind flew hard
As I am sleeping with my sweet heart
Dont let the rain comes down
Before my body gets burn

You are like the first monsoon of the season
You are like jagjit singh's last ghazal
You are like the internate pack that first comes to my mind
You are one of those star I watch at evry night

Yo.  Or, what am I supposed to put here, again?



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCLXXX)


O!  I could swear May yawns at me from hence,
Now that snow's curse is gone, as if the tale
Of slaughtered yards 'non waking to th'all hail
As twere of sweet Favon'us are but thence
Slain in that heat dear Shakespeare knew fr'intents,
Likeas to murmur that the violets pale
Ere I've had chance to finger them t'avail,
And laughs now in my face like hope's pretense.
Where are the dandelions nodding through
That oven breath if such things are so true?
Why do the windows fog up still in tour
Before the day is old?  And wherefore, fer
All that, is evry bough yet naked?  Poor
As blue skies' teases, I'm mixt up now too.

16Mar19b